The two months since Artemis had left Dr Argons office for good, without incident for once, had been difficult to say the least. He no longer had multiple personalities, obsessive tendencies, or paranoia but that did not mean he was healed.
Artemis felt as if he had been clumsily stitched together, functional but damaged and falling apart at the seams. The damage done by the magic was gone but that was all. It was difficult to hide it from Butler. His bodyguard was always so perceptive, something which Artemis cursed now.
At first, Artemis had not hidden it. The willpower it took to get out of bed, the emptiness he felt some days and the other days where he felt too much. His mental state swung like a pendulum from feeling numb and heavy and tired to feeling the ever-present guilt gnaw at his stomach, the anxiety crushing his chest, the loneliness that physically ached.
His mother thought he needed to ‘get out more’. Artemis did not agree.
Today was going to be a bad day, Artemis already knew this when he opened his eyes in bed and rolled over to stare at the rain splattering down from the moody grey sky. Due to the fact that he had not managed to catch a wink of sleep, the world felt surreal and distant, as if he was watching it through a screen. The moment he had closed his eyes last night his mind was filled with thoughts that ran in circles and memories of his most selfish exploits. His uncannily accurate memory had betrayed in recent months, allowing for detailed re-runs of his worst hits.
He stayed there for an hour, just staring out the window as the rain drummed against the glass.
Rolling out of bed unceremoniously Artemis staggered towards his wardrobe. Best to keep up appearances. A now school-uniform-clad Artemis trundled down the stairs, trying his best to seem some semblance of normal. He, after all had no reason to be at all distressed, in fact he should be thriving.
Artemis had got so used to the house being abandoned that it had been a quite odd experience to come back, after learning he had two younger brothers, to the bustling noisy place the house had become. It had taken some getting used to, but he decided that he liked it. The chaos provided him a cover.
Artemis stepped out into the corridor just in time to see Myles sneaking away from the kitchen. Artemis couldn’t be sure where he was going but he had the suspicion that Myles was headed for the labs.
Myles froze like a deer caught in the headlights.
Artemis raised a questioning eyebrow.
“Mother tried to cook this morning.” Myles hissed, “I will not eat… fish fingers.” Myles’s nose scrunched up in disgust.
A smile tugged at the corner of Artemis’ mouth, “I won’t tell her if you don’t. Go on.”
By the time he had reached the kitchen the voice of his mother was audible, “Beckett, eat your food, don’t throw it. Myles?” Angeline spotted Artemis “Good morning, dear, have you seen Myles? He was right here…”
“No, I haven’t seen him.” Artemis lied. His brothers’ antics were one of the only things that lifted the heavy cloud that followed him and to be perfectly honest, he found them to be quite amusing.
Angeline sighed, “Will you watch Beckett for a moment, I’ll go fetch Juliet. I asked her to find something half an hour ago and knowing her she’s wondered off somewhere.” She rushed away without waiting for an answer.
“Art’mis” Beckett happily declared.
“Hello Beckett. Aren’t you hungry?” Asked Artemis.
Beckett frowned, “Needs more ketchup.” He decided.
Artemis nodded seriously, “I could see how that could be an issue.” He picked up the bottle of ketchup and began so squeeze it over Becketts fish fingers, “Tell me when to stop.”
Beckett nodded.
Artemis tilted his head, “Is that enough?”
“No!” Beckett exclaimed
Artemis continued to pour the ketchup, “Alright.”
Beckett did not tell Artemis to stop, and soon the entire contents of the bottle were on his plate. Beckett beamed, “Tha’nks Art’mis.”
“You’re welcome. It looks…” Artemis grimaced, “delicious.”
Beckett began to dig into his meal with a wet squelch. Butler stepped though the doorway, “Morning Artemis, have you seen Myles?
“No.” Artemis lied.
Butler’s gaze drifted over to Beckett and his Ketchup drowned fish fingers, “Artemis, we were trying to make him eat something without ketchup.”
“He likes it.” said Artemis, failing to hide a smile. Beckett grinned widely, Ketchup all over his mouth. Artemis swore he could see Butler aging in real time.
Butler began to cook for Artemis without asked what the boy wanted, a habit he had formed during the first few weeks of Artemis’ return. Butler had been so accustomed to being met with apathy that he had stopped asking. Artemis was glad, it was one less thing he had to pretend to care about.
Cue the entrance of Artemis Senior, “Who let Beckett have the ketchup bottle?”
All eyes were on Artemis junior, who replied lamely, “He won’t eat without it.”
Irritation laced his father’s words, “We agreed we would stop enabling him.”
Artemis Junior looked baffled, “We did?”
“Yes. At dinner last night. You were there.” Said his father. “Recently, it seems like you aren’t yourself, Arty.”
Artemis raised an eyebrow at this, “Who else would I be?”
His father’s eyes danced with quiet amusement, “Indeed.”
Butler placed his breakfast on the table.
By the time Artemis had finished his breakfast, Myles was still missing, Beckett had splattered the floor with ketchup, and his mother looked just about ready to tear her hair out.
Artemis was ushered out of the house and into the car. Butler got into the driver’s seat, and they set off.
It was his first day back at school after his treatment and his parents had seen fit to have him board during the school term rather than let him stay at home in hopes he would begin to mix with ‘boys his own age’. It was all part of a larger attempt to make him more ‘normal’. He did not relish the idea of meeting with his classmates but these days he didn’t ‘relish’ much.
The car slowed to a stop with a quiet wheeze and Butler turned to look at his charge, “You look terrible, Artemis.” Artemis did, indeed, look terrible. Dark bags hung under bloodshot eyes which were framed by a pale and sickly face.
“How very kind of you.” Artemis said, trying to play off Butler’s concerns.
Butler frowned, “That wasn’t what I meant, and you know it. Are you okay?”
“Yes, fine. I just stayed up to complete a project last night.” Artemis lied.
Butler accepted the answer but still seemed sceptical, “Try to get some sleep then. No more late-night projects.”
Artemis’ arrival was met with whispers and indifference from his peers.
Currently, he was listening to Mrs Kilbride monologue about… something. He tuned in for a moment and found that the lesson was focused on the structure of an atom. The explanation was, as usual riddled with over-simplification and error. He didn’t mind though, he felt as though he was underwater, it was all so distant. Most of the information was close enough.
As Mrs Kilbride’s speech came to a natural end she asked, in a weary voice, “Does anyone,” she looked at Artemis pointedly “have anything to add?”
The class remained silent.
Mrs Kilbride was taken aback, “Anything to add, Mr Fowl.” She asked, expecting his usual lecture on every mistake and inaccuracy in her explanation.
“No.” said Artemis, dully. Whispers broke out across the classroom, and he felt eyes bore into the back of his head.
Unable to hide her surprise, Mrs Kilbride did her best to recover, “Okay. Textbooks open, complete pages thirty-six to thirty-eight.”
The class flicked their books open and began to work. Except Artemis. He kept his head down and stared blankly at the pages, trying to avoid Mrs Kilbride’s curious glances. It was strange, the numbness Artemis felt reminded him of being controlled by the rune. Very suddenly the numbness gave way to images, and he remembered being controlled like it was yesterday. It was too confined in here, too cramped. He was surrounded by people on all sides, and he couldn’t-
The bell rang, causing Artemis to flinch. Abruptly he was grounded back in reality.
Artemis ignored how Mrs Kilbride scrutinised him, now concerned rather than curious.
Mrs Kilbride began to collect in the workbooks and stopped at his desk. “Where is your work?” she asked, staring down at the blank page.
“I would have thought that it would be obvious,” Artemis said with an attempt at his usual snark that fell flat, sounding hollow.
Crossing her arms, Mrs Kilbride wondered what could have stopped Artemis from completing the work in the first two minutes as per usual, “Why didn’t you complete you work?”
“I didn’t want to.” Artemis said flatly.
Mrs Kilbride had known Artemis for three years and knew full well that the only way to motivate him was to issue a challenge, “Was is maybe because you aren’t capable of tackling such advanced questions?”
Artemis’ face was devoid of emotion, “Perhaps.”
Mrs Kilbride had thought Artemis couldn’t shock her more than he already had today, but she was wrong. She knew that Artemis was fully capable of the classwork and on any other day would be appalled by the idea of anyone thinking that anything so simple was beyond him. But there was nothing to be done, “Detention, on Wednesday, one o’clock. Don’t be late.”
“Of course.” Artemis said, already collecting up his books.
Artemis ducked out of the classroom and hurried down the hallway leaving his teacher perplexed and a little disconcerted.
‘That went well’, Artemis thought to himself as he walked to the canteen, ‘I managed to insult my teacher’s intelligence while acting out of character. Impressive.’
A case of literary theft: this tale is not rightfully on Amazon; if you see it, report the violation.
Joining the lunch queue, he attempted not to be jostled by the crowd. Physical contact was more than he could bear right now, he was on the cusp of an anxiety attack and that simply would not do.
He sat on an empty table in the corner and began to eat whatever it was he had chosen today. Vegetarian goulash. Shrugging, he continued to eat, it could be worse.
Artemis’ mind strayed back to the conversation with Mrs Kilbride, ‘I should really be nicer, she shouldn’t be shocked by the absence of a lecture on her incompetency. She is after all only teaching the curriculum.’ But he wouldn’t; he knew he wouldn’t and on top of that he knew that he would never apologise. This was the reason he was sitting alone, and this was the reason he would continue to.
He suspected that even his family found him to be difficult to be around, but they were obligated to tolerate him. That included Butler, he trusted the man with his life because Butler was a good person, but the fact remained that he was paid to protect Artemis. More and more lately these thoughts bothered him, they were more intense and they cut much deeper, which was only made worse by the fact that he could not deny the candour in such thoughts. No matter how much they stung, the fact remained that they were true.
The canteen did not have the capacity to hold all the pupils it was supposed to on a good day and as Artemis had already acknowledged, today was not a good day. A group of boys from his class came to hover near his table. All other tables were at capacity and the group approached with dread. One boy, Kieran O’Shea, a boy with dark skin and brown eyes, was pushed to the front, “Hi.” Kieran said, “I was wondering if we could sit here.”
Artemis looked up and nodded stiffly, “Yes, that would be fine.” He winced, even to his own ears that was a frosty response.
After an awkward pause all of the boys hastily took their seats, as far as possible from Artemis. Kieran, the last to sit, was left with the seat nearest Artemis. Conversation broke out around the table with the exception of Artemis and Kieran. Rather than talking with his friends and pretending he didn’t notice Artemis, as would be usual, Kieran was glancing at Artemis, no doubt searching for something to say, “Hi, I’m Kieran.”
Artemis looked up briefly, “I know.” A silence stretched on before Artemis took pity on him, “I’m Artemis, as I’m sure you well know.”
Kieran nodded to himself, trying to dispel the awkwardness, then he frowned, “Do you know what class we have next?”
“Citizenship and PSHE.” Artemis told him.
Kieran cursed, “Oh, dear god, not again.”
Artemis understood the sentiment, “I must confess, it is rather uncomfortable to hear Mr Gallagher give ‘the talk’ to people a quarter of his age. It would seem more prudent just to play a video.”
“I know, they keep doing the same subject over and over again.” Kieran sighed, “At this point I would prefer the termly internet safety talk, where we basically get told not to go on online chatrooms because we’ll get groomed.”
“It does seem excessive and largely useless.” Artemis agreed, then asked, “Did you not check your timetable this morning?”
“I lost it” Kieran explained, “and I’m too scared to ask the receptionist for another one.”
“Mrs McCreary?” Artemis guessed
“Is she the old crone with rhinestone glasses and the death-stare?” Asked Kieran
“That sounds like her.” Conceded Artemis. “She is somewhat… abrasive.”
“Evil is what she is, she hates everyone.”
Artemis took out his timetable, “Just take a photo of mine. I’ve got a copy of the master timetable for our year.”
Kieran’s eyes widened, “We’re not supposed to have our phones out of the pouches.”
The pouches, which garnered resentment from students and staff, were magnetically sealed pouches which were only unlocked at the end of the school day. This meant while students were allowed to carry their phones, they weren’t able to use them.
“They are actually incredibly simple to hotwire. I could show you how to open yours.” Artemis offered.
Kieran looked around making sure the teachers weren’t watching, “Yeah, that would be great.” He fished the pouch out of his bag and handed it to Artemis.
Artemis took a small screwdriver from his pocket and removed the back of the electrical unit, “You just…”, he placed a paperclip between two wires and the pouch sprung open “need to complete the circuit.”
Kieran took his pouch back with a wide grin, “Thanks.” He took his phone out under the table and snapped a picture of the timetable. “I owe you.” He looked around at the other boys who were chatting away, not sparing them a glance, “Hey, could I sit next to you next lesson. I was only following these guys around because I didn’t know which class I was meant to be in. I don’t think they like me.”
Artemis’ instinct was to decline but… Kieran did seem nice, and Artemis was supposed to be making friends, “Yes, that is fine.” Artemis smiled slightly in an attempt to seem less… intimidating. The other boys began to leave the table, just leaving the two of them.
Seemingly, it worked because Kieran deflated, relieved, “Thank god.” he lowered his voice, “I’ve had to work three projects with Fitz so far and he is such an ass. Can’t go three seconds without calling someone ‘woke’ for saying anything. Also, is Fitz his first name or his last name? It would be a pretty weird first name.”
“I’m not entirely certain, I’ve never cared to check. What does ‘woke’ mean?” Artemis asked.
Kieran laughed at his puzzled expression, “Being woke is when you…” He broke off and muttered something then pulled out his phone under the table, “It’s hard to explain, I’ll check what the definition is online.” He read for a minute on his phone then nodded to himself, “It’s when you’re aware of current issues and facts so that you can act on the information you have. It’s usually when you’re educated on persecution of minorities like racism or sexism.”
“Why is that bad then?” Artemis asked, more confused than ever
Kieran considered this, “I guess… people who feel attacked, because their behaviour is unacceptable, try to encourage the idea that woke people won’t let you say anything anymore. They have used woke to mean someone who attacks innocent language and stuff so that the word means something insulting now.”
“That is… very complicated.” Artemis remarked.
Kieran loosed a long suffering sigh, “Tell me about it.”
The bell rang and Artemis flinched in his seat.
The sound of the bell wringing merged with the clatter of the plate Angeline had thrown of the floor. Suddenly he was back in his mother’s room, trying not to cry as his mother was screaming and scratching at her skin, “Who are you. Get out, get out of my house!” Angeline wailed.
Artemis stepped forward, “Mother, it’s me, Artemis.”
“No!” Angeline shrieked, “You’re not my Arty. Not him. You let them in didn’t you, the bugs. They’re everywhere, crawling all over my skin. Get out.” Her voice faded to a sob, and she hid under her duvet while she cried, “Get out…”
A voice broke through the memory, “-Okay? Artemis are you okay?” It was Kieran who wore an odd expression on his face. Almost knowing.
“Yes, fine.” Artemis assured him. Artemis didn’t know why this happened so often now; he hadn’t thought about that incident for years. It shouldn’t bother him either; he knew that his mother’s behaviour had been the result of mental illness, but still it stung. He couldn’t quieten the thoughts telling him that ‘You were never the son they wanted. They were so much happier when you were gone with Beckett and Myles. Your father was present for them, he helped parent them. It was your fault he was so distant. Angeline was barely fazed by your disappearance.’ Childish, he knew. Artemis pushed those thoughts away and stood, “We should go; class starts in a few minutes.” His voice flat.
“Okay…?” Kieran said slowly, jarred by how suddenly Artemis had shut off.
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On their way to collect their bags from the lockers Kieran had a thought, “Are you boarding this year?”
“Just during the week, I’m going home on Saturday mornings.” Artemis answered.
“What floor are you on?” asked Kieran with a grin.
“Why?” Artemis asked, suspicious.
Kieran rolled his eyes, “Just tell me.”
Giving up, Artemis obliged, “Third floor room two-hundred-and-fiveteen.”
“Oh my god, I’m third floor just down the hallway. Anyway, you know the new kid Mikhail? The hot one?”
Artemis hummed, “He is rather attractive. Very muscular”
Kieran stared at him, shocked.
Artemis fixed Kieran with a look, “Kieran, despite what the rest of the school seems to believe, I’m not made of stone.”
“Wow. We actually had bets running, it was my personal opinion that you would eventually be married to science... or the computer terminal, where you are charged every night.”
“Very funny” Artemis said, dryly.
Kieran barrelled on, “Mikhail is throwing a party on the second floor tomorrow, but we’ve got to quiet about it. You know what they say, snitches get stitches.”
Artemis raised an eyebrow, “I’m familiar with the phrase.”
“Will you come to the party?” Kieran asked hopefully
“I am not a” Artemis used air quotes, “party-person.”
“Please.” Kieran begged
“No.” Artemis said.
Kieran crossed his arms, “I’m not going on my own.”
Artemis frowned, “You barely know me; I don’t see the difference.”
“I’ve asked you for a pencil once last year.” Kieran declared proudly
“That… doesn’t count.” Artemis decided.
“I know you better than most people here do.” Kieran reasoned.
Artemis cracked a smile, “That is a low bar.”
“Come on.” Kieran wheedled.
“Fine.”
Kieran clapped Artemis on the back, “Thank you!” then he announced to the corridor “I have a wingman.” Artemis elbowed Kieran causing Kieran to lower his voice, “I’m going to ask him out.”
They entered the darkened classroom which was already full and in session. They were most conspicuously late and gingerly took a seat at the back. Mr Gallagher briefly stopped his lecture on puberty to glare at them, before going back to droning on about hormones.
A quizzical expression appeared on Artemis’ face, “Who?”
Kieran rolled his eyes, “Keep up. I’m going to ask out Mikhail.”
This garnered a snort from Artemis.
Kieran puffed his chest out, “What’s so funny about that?”
“Kieran, I hesitate to say that Mikhail is…” What was that slang expression? “Out of your league. But that would be because it is true.”
“I am very much in his league, thank you.” Kieran huffed.
Mr Gallagher heard the two of them talking and afforded them a glare and a, “Shhh.” before turning back to his presentation,
After a brief pause their hushed conversation resumed, “How do you even know he’s gay?” Artemis said.
Kieran leaned in conspiratorially “Mikhail told Jack, who told Desmond, who told-”
Artemis cut him off, “I get the point, he’s gay.”
“So, tomorrow at the party I will ask him out and he will say yes.”
“This, I have got to see.” Artemis smirked
“I bet you ten euros he’ll say yes.”
Artemis was told to speak more casually, and now seemed like a perfect time to employ a phrase he had heard before, “I’ll… ‘take that action’.”
This appeared to be the final straw because at this point Mr Gallaher turned around once again, his face red as a tomato and said, “Detention for both of you. Wednesday.”
Artemis put his hand up, “Sir, I’m already going to detention with Mrs Kilbride on Wednesday.”
“Very well.” Mr Gallagher grumbled, “Mr O’Shea, go to detention with Mr Fowl, no need to waste any more of my lunchtime.” Mr Gallagher continued his talk, “as levels of testosterone rise…”
Kieran and Artemis looked at each other and then shared exasperated expressions followed by barely contained smiles as Mr Gallagher tried his best to describe sex without being creepy. He did not succeed; few teachers ever do. He settled on the word, “Relations” after a bout of stuttering.
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Artemis reached his dorm after class ended and collapsed on his bed. He lay there for ten minutes before he heard it.
Buzz Buzz Buzz Buzz
His phone lit up with Butler’s name. Artemis answered the call, “Hello Butler.”
Butlers relieved voice came through on the other end, “You promised you would call as soon as you were able so I could know you were safe.”
“That I did. I forgot; it won’t happen again.” Promised Artemis.
Butler sighed, “It’s alright. How did your first day of school go?”
Artemis considered the question, “It was actually quite good. This morning I was so sure it was going to be ghastly, but it was alright.”
Butler’s surprise was palpable, “That’s great to hear Artemis.” Then almost as an afterthought, “did you make any friends?” He joked; his voice playfully sarcastic.
“Yes actually.”
The pause that followed was laced with disbelief, “Artemis, I can’t tell, are you attempting humour?” Butler asked.
“No.”
“… That’s…” the Bodyguard struggled to process the information, “That’s amazing Artemis. Angeline will be thrilled.” Pride leaked through his voice, giving way to emotion.
The conversation lasted ten more minutes until Artemis heard a commotion on the other end of the line, it was Juliet, “Domovoi, the labs are on fire again! Have you seen Myles or Beckett?”
Butler sighed, “Artemis, I really have to go.” Then he hung up.
Artemis smiled.