Evangeline broke up with Nick and I am over the moon.
Nick tells me over text message that he started a fight with her to force her to leave. It's amazing he still takes the coward's way out and that it still works.
What we did was wrong, but Charlie was right. Staying with her was wrong but not telling her won't help. I just don't know what to do now. I curl up in my sheets and refuse to get out of bed, but it's already 11 AM and I have to move eventually. Rotting in bed won't get me anywhere. I get ready for the day, but my spirits sink when I realize there ain't a thing in the fridge.
Why would there be? I cleaned out most of the house before I left for Austere.
My phone goes off and I get a text message from Charlie. He reminds me we have lunch today, and of course, I'm coming. Mrs. Wolfe is a bit odd, but her food is fantastic. I change my outfit into something Christmas-themed, and it's a simple red sweater with a black skirt. When Charlie arrives in his big truck my stomach is already complaining and I'm ready to eat.
"Merry Christmas Anne," Charlie says. "I love you."
"It's Christmas!?! Wow, time goes by fast!"
Charlie chuckles and we set off for his house. We listen to our playlist in the car together, because we're already tired of Christmas songs on the radio, and weirdly, I no longer feel like we're pretending anymore. I feel like we're real couple for the first time.
At Charlie's place, there are so many people. Everyone from all over town is there, even Evangeline. She sees me, and then her face makes a
weird twitch. She doesn't seem very happy to see me, but she's hiding it very well.
"Oh my gosh, Merry Christmas," Evangeline says. "How are you?"
"I'm doing pretty great. I was worried I'd be alone for Christmas because of y'know, Grandma being gone."
"I'm glad you're here Anne," Evangeline nods. "No one should be alone during the holidays."
Her tone softens and now she's no longer upset with me. Thank God. I hope she doesn't know about what happened because she'd probably tell someone else, and I can't blame her either. I just don't want the entire town to shame me every time I go out.
When it's time for the Christmas cake, I try to race to the front, but it's too late. It's all gone. Charlie already has a piece and I pout, because he should've gotten one for me too!
"Come here," Charlie says.
He takes me to the kitchen, and inside the fridge is a miniature Christmas cake, just for me.
"Momma knows how much you like it, so she made one just for you," he says.
"She's the best. I gotta ask her how she makes it before I go home!"
I'm so excited to eat my Christmas cake, with its cute strawberries on top, when Evangeline walks into the kitchen.
"Where's Nick," Charlie asks. "I ain't seen him."
"Oh, guess I forgot to tell him about the party," Evangeline says. "Shame."
Charlie understands what happened and looks uncomfortable. He adjusts his fancy suit he wore for the party and finds an excuse to leave. Evangeline takes me aside, further away into the hallway, and I try to put on the best act I can when she tells me she left him.
"How did that happen? You two were so good together," I say.
"He's a bastard is what he is," she says. "I try to help him and all he did was yell at me!"
"You probably dodged a bullet," I tell her.
"That's right! I'm gonna focus on me. I've been thinking about my New Year's resolution, and I'm gonna reinvent myself next year."
She flips her gorgeous red hair to the side, and talks about her plans to find her own way out of Edelweiss. She admits that she's insecure, but I don't understand what she has to be insecure about.
"You're gorgeous, Eva. You'll find a good man."
"I don't want a man. I'm thinking back on what you told me the other day at the hotel, and you were right."
I blink rapidly because I ain't ever remember someone telling me that in my life.
"I'm right? Me?"
"Yes," she laughed. "I didn't want to leave here through a man. What I want is to be filthy rich."
"I'm sorry? What?"
"I can't be out here. Everyone's poor. Ain't nothing to do. Only reason some of us got houses is out great whatever shot some Indian and put a house there."
That was exactly how my great-great grandfather George Lee got his home and I do not say a damn thing or else I'll probably burn for his sins on the spot.
"I want more, and he wasn't what I needed or wanted," Evangeline says. "I'm glad he ain't here. Fuck him."
"Fuck him," I agree.
We go back to the kitchen and again I attempt to eat my cake, but then I think about Nick, and how he's alone. Even Evangeline thinks no one should be alone, but I guess she didn't feel the same about Nick. My stomach hurts from the stress and guilt, and I don't want the cake anymore. The whole entire ordeal is my fault anyway, thinking with my crotch and not my head.
Charlie enters the kitchen looking for me and he stares me at a cake like a madman.
"Girl, what are you doing," Charlie asks. "We're gonna be late for church."
"I can't go to church."
Charlie walks up to me and shushes me.
"If my Momma hears that she will have a stroke," Charlie says.
"Okay! I just think we should see Nick."
"Are you sure?"
"No one should be alone today."
"Just show up to church or else my Momma will complain about it until I leave. I can't go to church on Christmas without my girlfriend."
"Oh. Yeah. Huh."
I put the cake back in the fridge and get some coffee to warm me up before we head out. Everyone gets in their cars and we head to church that evening, like we do every year. The church looks so much smaller than I remember it, and it's filled up because the people who only come on Easter and Christmas are here.
I hate them.
Especially Nancy, that girl took my spot that I sit in every week.
Charlie's family and I find a spot we can all sit together, and Pastor Grant begins the sermon. He talks about the usual stuff, forgiveness of sins, and then talks about how its almost the New Year. It's always a new chance to forgive others, but more importantly to forgive yourself. I ain't never think about forgiving myself, but he says its important because we can't change the past.
I actually liked the sermon, usually he bores me to death, but not tonight.
When its all over, Charlie and I quietly leave so we can quickly get some food and make it to Nick's place.
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When we arrive at Nick's he has trouble opening the door. He fumbles with the door a bit, and gives a shy smile when he sees us.
"I didn't think I'd have visitors today," he says.
"I don't want you getting lonely," I tell him. "Let's eat."
We walk into his fancy kitchen, and Charlie sets down the food on the table. I brought the cake and give it to him, and his shy smile now becomes even bigger. When he takes a bite his eyes light up, and he suddenly is ravenous.
"This is so good," he says.
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"I'll let my mom know," Charlie laughs.
"Probably shouldn't, she thinks Nick is corrupting you," I reply.
Charlie rolls his eyes.
"That woman thinks every blade of grass and breeze in the wind will corrupt me," he says.
"You know Nick, she saw the two of you kissing a while back," I tell him.
Nick chokes on his cake and I feel bad for laughing, but not that bad.
"Nice to know she didn't tell anyone," he coughs.
Charlie warms up some of the food, and we all eat dinner together. We tell Nick about all the stuff we got up to in Austere and Las Estrellas, and as the night goes on he looks less and less like a shadow of himself.
"I like this," Charlie says. "I want to keep doing this."
"Do what," I ask.
"This," Charlie says, gesturing to all of us. "I like being with the both of you."
"You ain't suggesting what I think you are," I ask him.
"Nevermind."
I playfully smack him on the arm and I try to get him to open up again. His cheeks are now red and hot, and he takes the slowest drink ever from his cup of eggnog.
"I like this too," Nick admits. "I want to keep this feeling, but I don't know what this is."
It's like everyone is trying to avoid the right word for what's happening with the three of us, but I don't think any of us have the right words for it either. I feel nervous and take Charlie's hand, and he gives it a little squeeze.
"I'm saying it because it's like we're dancing around it," I say. "We should date each other?"
"If you'll have me," Nick says quietly.
"Come here you sad sack."
I get up from my chair and give him a big hug from behind. Charlie gets up and gives him a big hug too, and Nick looks like a happy golden retriever when Charlie runs his fingers through his hair. When he stops, Nick gets upset.
"Don't stop," he says. "I like it."
I giggle and kiss him softly, tasting the frosting and beer.
"More," he says.
"I'll give you as much as you want," I promise.
I kiss him again and again, and then he turns to Charlie and they kiss each other too. Soon we're giggling and kissing each other in the kitchen, excited that we are literally having our cake and eating it too. When we're done being wrapped up in each other, Nick makes hot cocoa and we go to the living room.
We watch Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, and snuggle with each other on the floor under a pile of blankets. We grope each other underneath and laugh, and I pretend like I don't want it but I want to stay all night. When the commercial break airs Nick seems to be reading my mind and asks the question.
"Do you want to stay the night," he asks.
"Why not," Charlie replies.
"Awesome, let's stay up all night," I exclaim.
"Oh Annabelle, you dirty girl," Charlie says.
He laughs and I realize that it came out sounding a lot less innocent than I intended. I just liked staying up and watching Christmas specials. Charlie kisses me on the cheek and whispers a quick apology for teasing me, and I kiss him back. I've started another kissing contest, and then it's more than just kissing by the time the commercial break is over.
We're naked and excited and the memories of last time make me tingle all over. We spend all night taking turns with each other in the living room and fall asleep when the sun is about to rise. When I wake up later on, I groan because I slept on the rough carpet, naked and exhausted.
Between the two of them, warm and safe, I forgive them for all the stupid things they did, and I forgive myself.