It's 6:30 AM and my alarm blares.

It's one of Kyle's songs that I used to love but hearing it every morning is now starting to make me want to chuck my phone out the window.

I drag myself out of bed because it's time to get to work. Looking pretty is now part of my job, and it's a little weird.

I put on my grey shirt, red shorts, and gym shoes, then run down the grand staircase. The staircase winds down in a spiral, so every time I go down it feels more fun than the last, like a slide. My sneakers squeak across the marble floors, and when I enter the kitchen, Kyle is there.

"Mornin'," I tell him.

"What time is it," Kyle groans. "I didn't go to bed."

He's hunched over, sitting at a laptop on the kitchen island. Kyle scratches the marble countertops, and today I notice his nails are no longer green, but black. His eyes have bags underneath them, and they look even bigger when he takes off his red wide-rimmed glasses.

"I been up all night man, trying to make a new track. Kill me," he groans.

"I'll do ya one better. I'll make you a smoothie."

"Please dude, none of that whey whatever shit in it that you eat."

"You gotta try it, how else do you think I get these."

I flex my muscles and grin, and Kyle snorts. He takes a rubber band off his wrist and puts his dyed purple hair up in a bun. Kyle complains and groans all the time about work, but he won't quit no matter how many times he claims.

The loud whirr of the blender helps him wake up a little bit, and I give him a mango banana smoothie.

"None of that whey shit it in either," I say with a laugh.

"Amen to that brother. Cheers."

He raises his glass, takes a giant gulp, and puts his headphones back on to test another song. It's already 8 AM so I got to get going, and I promise to give him feedback on new stuff when I get back. I put on my headphones, check my phone to track my steps, and start jogging out the house, and into the neighborhood.

I've been at Kyle's place for a while, but I still can't get used to the neighborhood. Huge houses with pools, bored wives, and for some reason everyone owns a dog. All the kids go to fancy private schools, and every time I ask what someone does for work it doesn't sound like a real job.

I jog all the way to the front gate of the neighborhood and wave to the security guard, who reminds me of Harry from back home. I keep going down the hill and into the nearby plaza where I get my daily coffee. It's at some small place, and it doesn't even have a name, just a picture of a mug on the front door.

When I walk in, I'm greeted by my favorite barista.

"Hey Charlie," Star says. "I got what you need ready."

Star gives me my Americano, I give him exact change, and the other people waiting in line look mildly annoyed. Not my fault they ain't the best customer in town.

I guzzle my Americano and people watch while Star works the front counter. Star's real name is Jeff and honestly, if my name was Jeff I would probably go by Star too. He is the kind of person that I would not be caught dead with in Edelweiss but in Las Estrellas, there are plenty of people like Star.

He wears some sort of pin of some flavor of a gay flag that I am unsure of. There are too many to count. His septum is pierced and his hair is long and dyed blue. His nails are always decorative, and this week they're blue and white for New Year's.

The morning rush dies down for a bit, and Star comes over to my table. He drinks some abomination with too much sugar and he is thrilled to tell me all the ridiculous stuff he's been up to.

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"Charlie dear, I am so happy to see you have returned from the land of the dead," he says.

"It ain't that bad," I reply.

"You're like the only gay guy in that town," Star said incredulously. "Well, not anymore now that you're here."

"Honestly I missed Edelweiss but I hate that I had to be careful about what I say the entire time I was there. My daily life shouldn't be seen as bad."

"I get it," Star said. "We've all been there."

Half of the people who work at the coffee shop are some kind of gay because the owner is.

They don't have to worry about getting fired, or pretending once they walk in the doors, a luxury I wish I had. I met Star when I came here for the first time, looking around town. I stared at him because I had never seen anyone who was a man but did their hair and nails like a lady.

He thought I was checking him out, which is some amazing self-confidence I am jealous of.

"Can I talk to you about something later," I ask.

"Oh, what is it?"

"Questions about stuff, y'know, that sort of stuff."

"Aaaahh."

He nods and knows what I'm trying to allude to but is too shy to say directly. Star tells me everything he's been up to since I've been gone and explains what voguing is. I don't think he's explaining it right, because it sounds like a circus, but everyone is gay. He offers to take me some time, even though I always say no to his weird events.

But this time I change my mind.

"I wanna go. I wanna know what it's like to be around more uh, people like me," I say.

"Ohmygodyes," Star says in one full breath. "I'll message you the details and I'll bring the crew."

"The crew?"

"Ohmygodyes, you will love them," he tells me.

I don't know what I've gotten myself into but I don't want to change my mind. I can't avoid everything forever.

After we talk a bit more, Star goes back to work, and I jog back home up the hill. I love the way down but going back up I feel like my heart is about to jump out of my mouth. When I'm finally home and walk into the kitchen, I find Kyle asleep at the kitchen counter isle again.

"You work too damn much," I say.

I wake him up and instead of going upstairs to sleep, he walks to the living room and sleeps on the couch. I leave him be because I'm tired after that hill. After showering and getting dressed, I prepare for tonight. Kyle is hosting a huge party for New Year's Eve and it's the time to meet someone with connections.

While trying to find the right clothes to impress some producer, Star calls. He always calls, and never texts, because he thinks it's too impersonal. I think he always calls because girls always call, and he kind of is one, but whatever.

I answer my phone and he immediately tries to pry information out of me.

"What did you do Charlie," he asks.

"Damn it, Anne says the same thing. Why does everyone think I did something?"

"That's why you wanted to talk, right?"

"I mean. Sort of. Yeah."

I tell him about Nick and Anne. Star hates Nick and has known about him for a while. He hates every single thing I've told him about Nick, and he swears that if he meets him he'll start a fight.

I'm a little scared he's serious.

"You're dating the guy that took your virginity right before you came to town because he's a coward? That same Nick. Has to be a different Nick," Star says.

"He's not so bad," I say.

"He's an ass, and I bet you he's gonna cheat."

"Damn it, don't say that."

"Some people confuse being poly with cheating, and he seems the type," Star says.

"What is poly," I ask.

Star informs me of another gay thing that I did not know about. I sometimes wonder if I really like men because I don't know all these terms. It's like all the gays speak a different language and I need to know the special password if I want to join the club.

"That doesn't sound like me," I say.

"You have two partners. You're poly," Star says.

"No, I just really like them, I'm not a Mormon."

"Oh no, please never say that again."

He laughs like a hyena and I finally decide on a suit. I have several now for auditions, in several colors, and I choose the blue one. All I need is the right watch, so I look rich just like them, and I'm ready for the night. I open my top drawer and look at the three watches I own and sigh.

"I like Anne," Star says. "She sounds kind of immature but good."

"I feel confused sometimes when I'm with her," I admit.

"Why? She's your best friend."

"I know. She's the only woman I've thought about doing anything with, so I question myself."

"Oh sweet Charlie. You will be 87, farting dust, and yelling at kids to get off your lawn one day. And you will still ask yourself if you're gay. I do it too. And then something will happen, and your fears will go away for a while."

"Really? Is that how a lot of people feel?"

"Yup. Maybe it's different because it's just Anne?"

"That has to be it."

I chose my newest watch, simply because it's the newest, and get white dress shoes to go with my suit. Everything is ready for tonight, and when I go downstairs, the caterers and all the service people are getting ready for tonight.

"Hey, you wanna come to a party tonight," I ask Star.

"Fuck, yes, what time?"

"It's one of those things where people arrive late on purpose," I explain.

"Got it, I'll be there at 10 PM."

I tell him goodbye and hang up, and Kyle wanders into the foyer. He is awake but not really here. He's instructing all the people on where to set up everything, and I am genuinely concerned he will fall asleep during the party.

"Dude, go to bed," I tell him.

"Later. Later. Sleep is for the weak."

An hour later he is sitting in the dining room, asleep, and one of the caterers puts a blanket over him.