Since it was supposed to be another ‘floor’, I expected stairs going down beyond the door, but nope. I instead found myself inside a regular old locker room you would typically see in a water park. Except twisted.

Tiled floor, lockers that were about ten storeys tall, and an occasional bench. The whole place smelled strongly of chlorine.

I carefully looked around without entering the place yet and I couldn’t help but grimace.

“...Chat, I think this is another maze.”

The lockers were clearly the walls of said maze. If they were as sturdy as the furniture in the first ‘floor’, I wouldn’t be getting through them, and climbing up and over them might as well be impossible. My only chance was to go through the irregular gaps in the rows of lockers. Thinking about it, this would probably be a non-euclidian nightmare just like the first floor. I couldn’t help the groan that escaped me.

“I hate this already. Why can’t I get something more straightforward? C’mon, dungeon…” I whined.

KaiEbikoOfficial: well time for mapmaker Ebiko to make her return

I breathed out, still annoyed, but at least having a smidge of hope now.

“You are the best, Ebi.”

KaiEbikoOfficial: I know

“So humble too.” I raised an eyebrow and couldn’t help the way my mouth curled up.

KaiEbikoOfficial: right?

My grin was back at full force at this point. She really was the best.

“Alright! Time for floor two…!” I declared before stepping inside. “Even though this doesn’t feel like another floor. Just another area. Are these really called ‘floors’?”

KaiEbikoOfficial: non-euclidian physics

KaiEbikoOfficial: they can call it another floor if they wanna

“Heh, true I guess.”

I began walking between the walls of lockers, taking the first left turn and continuing from there. Of course, the good old maze rule of hugging the left wall wouldn’t help at all if the spacial physics were as screwed up as the first floor’s, but it couldn’t hurt to try.

“This place is kinda wet…I guess it makes sense. Lockers are usually next to showers,” I mused before perking up. “Ooh, maybe the third floor is showers! I hope I can actually use one of them…”

I slowly continued for a few minutes, watching my surroundings for more zombies, when I stepped into a slightly wider puddle of water than the others. The moment I did, I knew something was wrong because my foot got stuck and I jerked to a stop.

“Wha–?!”

Before I could do anything, the freaking puddle converged around my foot and began climbing up my leg, making me drop my bucket as a shiver went down my spine.

I let out a very high-pitched shriek.

And then subsequently spat out fire right under me on reflex.

It burned a little without the inherent protection Fire breath gave to my throat, but I managed to keep myself from putting too much power into it and searing my leg off – not that I thought I could do that considering I’d survived the robot’s flamethrower.

Luckily, my panicked move paid off and I could feel my leg being released. I used the chance to jump back out of the small cloud of steam.

I stared at the puddle with wide eyes as it shifted and shied away from the remaining wisps of fire covering the floor. When they were gone, the thing seemed to almost stand up before launching itself at me.

I let out another Fire breath while backing up further and drawing my sword.

The fire hit it head on and it burst into even more steam with a sizzle, obscuring my view a little. I didn’t let my guard down, and automatically took the brief moment of respite to scan my surroundings for any other sentient puddles wanting to eat my legs.

Then the puddle was back – though smaller than before – launching itself at me once more.

I could feel Fire breath’s inherent cooldown creeping up on me, so I instead swung my sword overhead and fed it Ether. The sword passed through it like it was just water – which I suppose it was – but as it did, I could see the lightning course through its watery body, halting its leap and stunning it.

It fell to the ground with a little splash and I prepared myself for another lightning slash… but then it poofed into mist.

I stood there for a second before letting out a weary sigh and relaxing.

Which irritated the mild burns on my legs, making me wince. I briefly wondered why the heck my own Fire breath had hurt me more than that robot’s giant tsunami of flames but I didn’t dwell on it much. I quickly looked around one last time before plopping down on the ground where I stood.

“...Chat. There are sentient puddles around here!” I whined. “What’s up with that?!”

KaiEbikoOfficial: Nana?!

KaiEbikoOfficial: you okay?

KaiEbikoOfficial: was it corrosive or something?

I shook my head. “No, I’m fine. I was just startled… Don’t want any tentacles climbing up my legs, you know?”

KaiEbikoOfficial: oh

KaiEbikoOfficial: kinky

“Don’t even say that, Ebi!” I groaned. “No, but seriously. What’s up with this? Sentient puddles? Puddle slimes maybe?”

KaiEbikoOfficial: sorry sorry

KaiEbikoOfficial: better than zombies though?

I huffed. “Not so sure about that… I’m pretty sure they are immune to physical attacks. My swing just went through it and probably wouldn’t do much if I didn’t use the circuits… And Fire breath isn’t great either, it just blinds me with steam…”

KaiEbikoOfficial: that’s true

KaiEbikoOfficial: you still have lightning though

I hummed. “Yeah that’s probably the way to go… Which sucks because if my only option is zapping, I’m gonna run out of Ether if I keep running into these things.”

KaiEbikoOfficial: or stepping into them

“Or stepping into them,” I repeated, deadpan.

KaiEbikoOfficial: well you have your bucket

“...That’s true. My portable battery,” I said dryly as I crawled over to said bucket and began stuffing myself with some of that delicious ooze to hopefully heal the slight burns on my legs, just as the refined stuff did.

Stolen content warning: this content belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences.

KaiEbikoOfficial: it’s still gross tho

“That’s because you never tasted it yourself…” I sniffed. “This stuff is great once you get used to it!”

KaiEbikoOfficial: you sound like an addict

“Shaddap! You know nothing!” I said in a mock angry tone. I played it up, but secretly I enjoyed Ebi needling me.

Honestly… What would I do without my guardian shrimp fairy? Now that the rest of the chat had become impossible to properly communicate with, she was the only thing keeping me sane in this dungeon.

…Which was probably not ideal. After all, she had been with me all day and would have to at least go to sleep herself at some point, not to mention if she had any other obligations. It wasn’t as if she could be around all day every day. She had her own life. I wouldn’t be a very good friend if I forced her to constantly baby me. Sure, I hadn’t exactly chosen this whole isekai situation myself, but…

“You know what? Since Fire breath isn’t all that great on this floor anyway, I think I’m gonna spend my skill points on that Streamer upgrade,” I declared.

KaiEbikoOfficial: are you sure?

KaiEbikoOfficial: what if it’s useful for the boss?

I hesitated for a second, thinking just how wildly different the first floor’s boss was compared to the rest of the dungeon. What could possibly be the boss here? Would the Flame bullet be useful against it?

I shook my head. I doubted I could safely snipe the boss with it anyway. The coins certainly hadn’t seemed eager to just sit there and take it. So all in all, as much as Flame bullet could definitely be useful…

“Nah. I’ll probably get more points along the way anyway, right? I still didn’t properly check the tier two achievements. There ought to be at least one I can do now!”

KaiEbikoOfficial: alright

KaiEbikoOfficial: let’s upgrade this stream then!

WIth a nod and a brief look around to make sure I wouldn’t get ambushed again, I sent the mental command.

Purchase the [Streamer] skill upgrade [Extra features] for 3 skill points?

Y/N

I confirmed and immediately began poking around my new capabilities. A little menu popped up in front of me.

Menu:

Direct message

Group chat

Poll

Subtitles: Off

I clapped my hands. “Okay! Hmm… I forgot that this included subtitles. Doubt it will be very useful but…”

I flipped the mental switch, turning the ‘Off’ into ‘English’ and blinked in surprise.

“English? Not on?”

As I said that, text appeared at the bottom edge of my vision, clearly legible despite its position.

‘English? Not on?’

“Whoa!”

‘Whoa!’

“Okay, this is weird…” I mumbled, and the subtitles dutifully displayed that as well.

KaiEbikoOfficial: that’s neat

KaiEbikoOfficial: maybe it will be useful if you find people

I hummed and frowned. “That would be cool. No need to worry about language barriers… Uh, except even if I understand their language, I still won’t be able to speak it…”

The fact that I even had this option now gave me hope that this world wasn’t completely dead and without life. It didn’t necessarily mean anything but…

I shook these thoughts away and looked at the ‘English’ thing again before mentally prodding it to change to something else. It switched to ‘Japanese’ and I smirked.

“Testing, testing…”

‘テスト、テスト。。。’

“Whoaaa! Alright! That’s actually really cool!”

‘うわあ！よし！凄いじゃないか！’

KaiEbikoOfficial: so little needed for happiness…

“Shut up, Ebi! I think this is cool!” I pouted. “Heck, I could maybe learn languages with this!”

‘うるさいエビ！これはかっこいいよ！これで言語を学べるかもしれない！’

I blinked at the flood of text, shook my head, and mentally prodded the subtitles to switch off again. As cool as it was, I didn’t need subtitles right now, much less Japanese ones.

“Anyway! That wasn’t why I got this upgrade…” I eyed the group chat feature, before my eyes slid down again. “Actually, let’s look at polls first.”

A simple window opened, prompting me to fill out the poll subject and its choices.

“Hmm… Why don’t we test it right away?”

I mentally filled it with the first thing that came to my mind and confirmed. Another small window with the results opened up.

Poll: ‘Pineapples on pizza?’

Heck yes: 0%(0)

Heck no: 0% (0)

Close poll

The moment I did it, I could have sworn the surge of chat messages sped up even more. But I paid it no mind even as both options rapidly grew in numbers.

KaiEbikoOfficial: whoa what the heck

“What’s up, Ebi?” I asked as I once again scanned my surroundings just in case. No sentient puddles seemed to be creeping in my direction.

KaiEbikoOfficial: I got a popup directing me to some shady website

I frowned.

“Then, close it…?”

KaiEbikoOfficial: it’s apparently for your poll though?

I blinked and remembered the special website people had talked about yesterday.

“Uh, is it something like streamerskill dot out? That’s apparently the website dedicated to my stream specifically.”

KaiEbikoOfficial: wtfff

KaiEbikoOfficial: seriously?

KaiEbikoOfficial: this is so involved

I rolled my eyes.

“Really? That’s what strikes you the most? A separate website? Not the whole isekai thing?”

KaiEbikoOfficial: well that too obviously

KaiEbikoOfficial: I’m just shocked

I hummed noncommittally and finally zeroed in on the thing I’d gotten this upgrade for. The group chat.

Once again, I felt a little guilty, since using this probably meant I would be ignoring the vast majority of the people in chat, but there was no way I could read everything anyway. Not if the number of people kept growing. Which it probably would, considering I couldn’t stop the stream.

Well, I also had the polls now, so it wasn’t as if they couldn’t interact with me at all, but still…

Yet another small window appeared, prompting me to create, sort, or delete a group chat. I selected create and stopped for a moment to think about its name and who I would even invite.

In the end, I decided to name it ‘OGs’ and then began inviting all my regulars from back on Earth before the popularity surge today.

JamieWasTaken3: sup

SpoOo0oOon: hello!

KaiEbikoOfficial: oh I’m here too now

GonguuH: that was strange

GeorgeDoshington: I liiiiive!

Jeofffff: heya thanks for the invite

Irid123: this is not an ARG is it?

DecadentLawyer: hello there

“Hey, everyone! Nope, not ARG,” I confirmed. “I’m guessing you got a popup to join this like for the poll? Oh, yeah! And thanks for donating the subs earlier, Lawyer!”

JamieWasTaken3: yea I feel like I’m being hacked

I snorted.

“Well, anywho, it’s nice to have more people around that I can actually talk with. I mean, don’t get me wrong, Ebi! You’re cool and all, but the more the merrier, you know?”

KaiEbikoOfficial: hmph

KaiEbikoOfficial: I’ve been replaced

“I would never!” I gasped in an exaggerated manner. “You’re the only one for me, Ebi!”

KaiEbikoOfficial: uh huh sure

KaiEbikoOfficial: I’m filing for divorce

“Noooo!” I yelled dramatically in an obviously fake wavering tone.

GeorgeDoshington: divorce stream when

“Never! I shall conquer this dungeon for my beloved!” I said in the most dramatic tone I could muster before devolving into giggles.

I checked over my legs again. Thankfully, the burns and the pain were both slowly disappearing. Nowhere near as fast as with the refined ooze, of course, but it was good to know that the diluted one could also help me heal.

If only it would satiate me too.

“Alright… Oh, how’s our poll doing?” I glanced over to the poll and my expression warped in disgust.

Poll: ‘Pineapples on pizza?’

Heck yes: 52,3%(1476)

Heck no: 47,7% (1348)

Close poll

“Really, chat? Why is ‘yes’ winning here? I didn’t take you all for absolute heathens.” I scoffed and closed the poll, while idly thinking about the crazy number of people who had participated in that poll. Just how many people were watching me at this point?

“Whatever. Let’s keep going. At least I know what to watch out for now. These stupid puddles won’t get me again!” I said as I heaved myself up.

As I did that, my eye caught the bracelet still on my wrist.

“I wonder what exactly this thing is for, though? Wasn’t it supposed to help me navigate this place? What does it do?”

Irid123: it’s called key bracelet

Irid123: so maybe it opens something

GonguuH: find the scanner for it

JamieWasTaken3: maybe there’s a hidden keyhole

I hummed and narrowed my eyes to scan my surroundings more carefully as I walked.

KaiEbikoOfficial: try feeding it ether

KaiEbikoOfficial: maybe it spawns a key

I blinked, mentally shrugged, and did as Ebi suggested.

The thing resisted my attempts even more than the sword had and no matter where I touched it, I couldn’t find any spot that conducted Ether better.

“...Nope, I don’t think I can. Ah, well.”

With no clue on how to use the thing, I continued on, reading the group chat and looking out for death puddles as well as anything that might require the key bracelet.

Obviously, my mimic-paranoid self couldn’t help but poke every puddle I found with my sword. Chat made fun of me for it, but my insanity was eventually rewarded when one of the puddles did react to my prodding and wrapped around my sword.

I immediately shocked it and splashed back down before vanishing into mist.

I slowly breathed in and smiled in satisfaction.

“Who’s crazy now, huh?!” I shouted into the empty halls of the dungeon.

And then I realized that… I was completely alone in this dungeon – possibly the entire world – walking between skyscraper-sized lockers, on the lookout for sentient puddles that wanted to smother me, capable of shooting lightning and breathing fire… arguing that I wasn’t crazy.

After that sobering thought, I didn’t feel like talking much for the next few minutes.