„We recognize the sins in other people, but we experienced them ourselves”

  „Weird feelings swallow my chest up at this moment. And these feelings are something I’ve never felt before - an amalgam of emotions, regrets, and hopes for a better future. But… will it be this way? Probably… not,” was what Eva wrote in her diary before leaving the house which others said was her parents’home.

  Actually, Eva had never felt at home in that house. She even remembered that she felt so many times that her home could be everywhere, especially she felt that weird feeling of peace in so many other places they had lived before turning back to Image. That’s why she always wondered why she felt that, even if her mind was telling her that it was her home, that village was her father’s hometown and hers too, a place that she should love. But even so, even after so many inner fights, Eva had never got to love those places as she wished.

  But Eva felt that strange feeling even more powerfully at the moment she was returning from the lake and she saw Brian’s black elegant carriage leaving their property. And the fact that he didn’t look back, even for a second to see her, made her feel as if all her dreams abandoned her at once, rushing her to hit an unknown road, a one-way trip actually. Later, she felt that painful pressing on her chest even more killing than before when she spotted Alfred standing in front of his office window and staring with hatred and with a devilish smile behind the carriage that was somehow hidden in the shadow of those tall trees that were guarding the road toward the city.

  „What’s this?” Eva wondered, touching her chest. „A mad fighting with the sky of an afternoon where even the sun is struggling not to sink into the horizon of the dusk?! A hunch maybe is pressing my chest? Or maybe is this the fear of leaving these places? But… I don’t understand: why is my heart beating so fast while I’m seeing a stranger leaving without even looking back for a second? I saw him only for a few seconds. I don’t think that I feel for him more than I would have felt for someone who I saw for the first time in my life. Yet: my heart beats as if I’m in love.”

  But very soon, she understood that not her heart, that was madly beating in her chest, made that anxiety be felt so vivid. It was something she discovered in Alfred’s eyes, who kept staring behind Brian’s carriage that was leaving. And namely that devilish blink into her father’s eyes made her shudder, from top to toe:

  „They are rivals!”

  And this thought broke her innocent heart at that moment, for the object of her adoration was someone her father considered his rival, and she couldn’t understand why it was so. Also, she felt powerless because nobody told her anything and this made her think that she was completely out of reality. But even so, she felt that there was more than a simple rivalry between men: it was an unfinished story between the stranger and her father, a weird story that was still there, something that wasn’t at all about her.

  But even if Eva wanted to spend hours or maybe days in a row, chewing that thought in silence while trying to find out an answer to each question born in her head, answers that would have helped her to discover that mystery, she didn't have time, for… right after Brian’s carriage was lost at the horizon, another red one entered their yard, shortly after.

  Seeing that elegant carriage with a lot of red and black on it, entering their yard, Eva watched it for a long time till the teamster, a man about 40, stopped the horses. Then, the girl saw the man jumping from the driving box and approaching the carriage’s door which he opened to help his master descend.

  But instead of a rusty old man or of a stuck-up lady, Eva saw in amazement how from that carriage a young lady about forty descended and, something in her movement while descending the carriage’s stairs, supporting on the teamster’s arm, caught Eva’s glance.

  Then, after approaching Eva, the girl found out that the name of that young lady was Emily Davis, and the fact that they stood so close one of the other allowed the girl to investigate her closer: she was a lady about some could easily say that she lived already her youth age, but who was still looking well enough due to the victorian hairstyle and garments that were giving her the allure of an aristocratic person, and this was well seen in her gestures, in her elegant manner of walking from the carriage to Eva, something that reminded the girl, even if she didn’t know why, about the young and old ladies from the Royal Court, about who she often read in novels, but who she never saw closer, for she had never been further from Image since they turned back to that village.

  While staring at Miss Davis, Eva remembered her books because what she read hadn’t been only boulevard novels, but also good books that taught her good manners, how should she act in front of a person from high society, or how she generally should act.

  To be honest: even if Eva felt so clumsy and so weird at that moment while staring at Emily Davis, not knowing how should she actually act, for she learned this only from books, she still was aware that she hasn’t why to feel ashamed because of this, for namely this way did the young girls learned about love at that moment and also from books they learned about the men’s character, were falling in love for the first time with a male character, which became later their model in choosing their future husband.

  And Eva also fell in love for the first time with a novel character, dreaming about love like one described in that novel while reading it, feeling like a real story character, who was still in the real world.

  Actually, she still remembered the smell of a new book which has been given to her by her last stepmother, only a few weeks before she died, and even if it could be considered a weird gift because Eva generally didn’t receive gifts, that book made her still happy.

The story has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the violation.

  And her happiness had a name too - „The Path to Paradise,” and, right from the first turned page, Eva felt captivated, sucked inside that fantastic world of two lovers who separated due to a caprice of fate. Yet, that book wasn’t only about breaking up, but also about a new chance, for the lovers, that had been once separated while being like blossomed flowers, met in their second youth and, after many long internal and external struggles, after many up and downs, they finally understood that their heart could be saved only by the love of the person they loved.

  That’s why Eva started to dream about such love, wanted to live something similar, to have a deep breath of fresh air in her boring life, to meet someone to love her forever. And she also dreamt about a Romeo to want to die only not to lose her. But, eventually, Eva has been forced to turn back to reality when she was already in that cold carriage, next to that strange Miss Davis, heading toward a new life.

  And when she finally understood how quickly everything happens in her life and that she was really leaving those places she wanted so much to leave in the past, Eva didn’t even look back.

  „Why to do that?” she wondered. „Why look at a world that’s not mine anymore? I have no reason why to look back, to be preoccupied about it while I leave it behind when there are so many things about which should I be worried in the future.”

  Yet, even if she didn’t want to take that world with her, the world she was leaving behind her, Eva remembered the moment Miss Davis’teamster put her small luggage behind the carriage, climbed in the driving box, and pulled the reins, and Eva felt at the moment the horses hit the road like a sentenced to death walking toward the scaffold.

  But even if she saw the pain in the girl’s eyes and that she wanted to leave as soon as possible, Miss Davis told her teamster: „wait a minute, Albert!” then she turned toward Eva and said: „maybe you want to say goodbye to someone?”

  Eva instead stood as frozen for a few moments, not understanding if Miss Davis talked to her or not. Then, when Emily told her: „Miss Stonebridge, we are leaving! If there’s someone or something you want to say goodbye to, now it’s the moment because…,” Eva shook her head.

  „There’s nobody here to care about me. So, we can go,” she said in half a voice, staring with a lost glance in the distance, toward the night that was sneaking around the carriage.

  And namely that distance, seen so weird through tears that were bathing her cheeks, made the autumn painting seem so tearful: with raindrops that weren’t only falling from the eyes of innocence, but also from the sky, as if they were the signals of a cruel future that was coming toward them, threatening to change the innocence seen in Eva’s eyes into a beast’s glance.

  But the rain from Eva’s soul wasn’t healing, but destructive, for it made her feel so small and so insignificant. And Eva wanted to escape, to run away from the world, to stop that carriage that was hurrying toward the future and to go away, convinced to force life to forget about her. Eva, however, hadn’t such power. And, to survive, she had to accept that captivity eventually and not only the trap of her weakness but also of the world that was about to swallow her.

  And Eva felt the rain from her heart so destructive also because she left Beth behind her, even if she knew that that child will cry a lot in her absence. Eva instead preferred it to be this way, to leave without saying goodbye to her good friend, for she didn’t want to also drag her into that wild society that was threatening with swallowing her and this happened because she loved Beth so much and didn’t want to destroy her future too. She preferred to leave that girl to those places, in the care of a house that wasn’t hers, with a father that wasn’t hers and who she called „master,” who grew Beth as he did with Eva - for his benefit. But Eva knew so well that Beth’s innocent soul won’t be ever stained with mud, with rust, or with flakes of ash, for she knew that that simple girl, who grew up in the arms of nature and the village, was the girl of Image and the girl of the world and its madness too.

  Suddenly, when the carriage was already a few kilometers from Image, Eva heard Beth’s voice in the distance, calling her name. And, like in a dream, Eva turned her head and saw Beth, running behind them.

  „Miss Stonebridge. Miss Stonebridge! Wait! Don’t dare to leave without taking me with you or at least saying goodbye to me! Do you hear me, Miss Stonebridge? Don’t dare to… wait!”

  Eva instead hadn’t the slightest desire to wait for her. And, hearing only fragments of what Beth said while running, she looked in front, wiped her tears, and squeezed her small fists.

  Miss Davis looked at her in silence. Then she looked back and she also saw Beth running behind their carriage. But even if she was more than capable to say to Albert to stop the carriage and allow the girls to say goodbye to each other, she preferred not to do that and waited in silence for Eva’s answer, which was late to be heard.

  Eventually, understanding that Eva won’t change her mind, Emily told her teamster: „let’s go faster, Albert. It’s getting late!” and Albert pulled the reins right away, without saying anything else, and, one of the horses, his good friend Bachaco, neighed, listening to his demand, and he forced his partner to gallop away.

  And the gallop of the horses felt so well inside of the carriage too, that started to violently rock on its metallic wheels, for even if it was a good carriage, that road was a bad one, full of mud because of the heavy rains that fell on the last days, rain that was also seen in the sky in the form of paunchy clouds.

  But Eva cared the less about the road and about the gallop: her mind was closed to the world at that moment and she didn’t even look back for a second, even if her heart was squeezing in her chest into the claws of desire to do that. But her stubbornness has always been above her wishes. That’s why she looked only in front and not back, for if she had looked back, she would have seen Beth and maybe she would have taken the girl with her, also destroying her future.

  And… if she had looked back, she would have seen Beth fallen to the ground, still calling her name. Thus, only Miss Davis saw Beth kneeling on that cold mud, touching her hurt leg. But even so, she kept crawling behind the carriage, desperately trying to impede fate to take place.