„Even if stars will join you in this battle called life, fate will be against this, fighting with you in the rhythm of your heart”
It was raining in Image when Albert was returning home after another sleepless night spent in Bingham, at the green table, where he again wasted a lot of money. Only after that, when no coin was left in his pocket, did Stonebridge decide that it was time to turn back home and he climbed in his carriage, asking his teamster to take the road to Image.
And it wasn’t only the feeling that „I must go home” that was spurring him to turn to Image, but it was also because of a weird thrill felt in his chest, something he had never felt before and which he couldn’t explain. Frankly, he had that strange feeling for a few days already, right after Eva’s departure. But, being stubborn, he preferred to lie to himself that it wasn’t because she left. And, namely because that feeling was bothering him, he started to drown it with alcohol, a lot of alcohol. But seeing that neither this way he could chase it away, he decided that it was the right time for gambling, for only at the green table he felt himself alive. And, that time, everything has been as different as possible: the pleasure of playing vanished somewhere and, instead of this, he felt irritated.
„Why? Why do I feel so?” Alfred kept wondering. „And why this feeling presses my chest so much? Especially after Eva left. It isn’t as if I miss her or I’m sorry for what I’ve done to her. Yet, it sprouted inside me like a seed of pain, that suffocates me now.”
And, as if he felt that suffocation again, Alfred deeply breathed in. Then he breathed out and in again, but neither this helped him, even if he hoped that at least the coldness of the morning, filled to the brim with raindrops, will cool his heated soul. Instead, it not only didn’t extinguish the arson in his soul, but it also made him feel powerless.
Later, after taking many deep breaths from that fresh and cool air, hoping this to help him, Alfred felt his throat dry as if he didn’t drink anything for a long time. And he wished then to at least had some alcohol with him, even if a drop only, but he remembered that it was nothing left in the bottle, that he drank it last night, before entering the gambling hall.
Then, he remembered about water. But as it wasn’t something that he used to carry with him, he sighed, for he realized that he was ashamed to ask the teamster if he had a little bit to give him too. So, he decided that it wasn’t anything left but to bear till home.
That’s why, to kill time, just not to think about thirst, Alfred looked through the window, at those fields good wetting down by the autumn’s tears. And, even if it was autumn for a good while already, Alfred realized this only then and this surprised him a lot, forcing him to sketch an ironic smile, spotting inside him his ignorance and stupidity, for… how was this possible not to realize that’s autumn when everything around you is red, colored by the leaves fallen from the trees that allowed old autumn to tailor a thick coat over the ground? Yet, it seemed to him so beautiful at the same time, that landscape, especially with that colored coat, made by autumn not only from leaves but also from dried herbs and other small things forgotten by the world around or fallen from the sky, things that had been slowly burnt by the fire of time’s heart.
And it was a kind of romantic atmosphere around, even if sadness was felt everywhere, for the sky, of a dark grey, was filled to the brim with heavy rain clouds. Also, even if it has rained a lot a night ago, the clouds seemed not to be tired to spill their tears over fields and hills, over rivers and valleys, as if it had played, as if it had been too eager to see what kind of madness can they else do on those surroundings. Or maybe those clouds weren’t naughty children, but old grouches, upset with the entire world which they tried to drown in the water of their tired soul. And the world, like a naughty child, but still one who accepted his mistake was waiting in silence for the punishment that was about to be sent from heights.
Yet, with so much madness and tears around, the trees were gorgeous. Their splendor was somehow reminding those, who saw that beauty, of William Hogarth’s paintings, from his famous Series „Seduction,” with two lovers captured on a canvas, with their feelings spotted by others while they were staying in the lap of time, right there, in the middle of nature.
And the autumn garment was verily mystery and seduction. And, if not pay attention to the too cold mornings of autumn, the dreamer could stop his carriage there, in nature’s lap, and, descending, to have a long walk, for, besides that madness of colors and splendor, one could fill the sack of soul with new powers, something that’ll last forever if human’s heart is lucky to cross those craved thresholds of immortality.
So, at least this way, the world could dream about immortality in nature’s lap, in those few minutes while the man could leave aside his routine and immerse in that multitude of colors. But… even if this could have been something to make him feel better, Alfred thought differently, for he didn’t believe either in the miracle of autumn or the charm of trees, as he didn’t believe in the grey cloak of clouds that were carrying tears and tears of our Old Daddy Land on their backs, tears that they wanted to spill over the surroundings. Yet, that certain overwhelming grey drowsed Alfred eventually, who fell asleep in that slow rock of the carriage on that country road. And he felt how the numbness of his bones became pleasantly, how he warmed a little bit after pulling the blanket up to the ears, and that even his breathing became calmer. But not the same happened to his thoughts: they didn’t numb or calm down, as they didn’t let him alone. Rather they started to make their presence felt in Alfred’s head, pressing him as if scolding him for his old and new mistakes.
Yet, even if he was half asleep, his thoughts were wandering through his mind, randomly, rummaging his soul, and Alfred didn’t know to what that numbness was owed: to time? Or maybe to the passing days? Or… was it because he grew old? „Ei?! Not that much!” murmured Alfred, waggishly smiling in heart, for at his 46, his first youth, a man barely starts to live after feeling a long time the bitter-sweet taste of life. And, for his thought to be even more pleasant, Alfred remembered, for a short while only, to cheer himself up, the ladies’laughters and coquetries, who often jostled when they saw him, for even if he had more than 40 already, he still looked well and he was desired by women, even though he had a lot of debts which he couldn’t pay any more and that he was known as an effeminate.
Alfred instead less cared about gossip, for… he loved to live his life as he wished and he did it at his will. Even so, even though he had lived a lot of tough moments, he could keep his head up, firmly hold his ground, and he never felt what shame is, even if he had to.
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And his haughtiness was his pride, for he was considered a tall man at his 1.75 meters in height, with an athletic body, even though the physical work was a sport he never loved. Yet, after he had turned back to Image, he had to spend some time in the field and, even if he didn’t do too much there while looking after the workers to do well their job, he carried some tools, lifted a basket from bellow, or did some few small things, and this has been enough for the muscles to work.
Yet, even if he tried to avoid seeing the face of time as if it was his worse enemy, time instead was stubborn and wanted to see Alfred. And, very soon, through his hair, that has once been of a dark brown, snow showers have been seen here and there. But this didn’t make him less handsome. Per contra: in contrast to his red fleshy lips the white of his hair made him even more handsome, and this was for sure a plus to succeed with the women and also win in front of other men, most of the time much younger than him. And, that word: wolf knows more for being old, not for being predatory. That’s why Alfred was catching on with young deer, being adored by them, at the expense of his much younger and inexperienced rivals.
Probably his success was a result not only of his experience and of years that built his body in a good way, but also because he often had no scruples, and if he felt that somewhere he could find the money he needed or there was someone who could unconditionally help him, Alfred forgot about shame, honor, and the rest and, even that woman was just an innocent deer or a ripped fruit, married she or only engaged, the women often got to fell into his arms, feeling the rhythm of the man’s heart beating on their naked chest.
Thus, he was loved by many women and hated the same or even more by the men, who considered him their eternal rival, for none of them was happy to know that it was someone else who had smelled the scent of their beloved woman's pillow. Well, Alfred wasn’t entering all the beds he has been offered to enter, but, yet, the simple gossip of being a Don Juan made him automatically the rival of any man.
Actually, not only once Alfred was forced to appeal to the ladies’charm to avoid a duel, and his way of telling them stories, of spinning a yarn, his touches, sweet kisses that brought a lot of pleasures in the ladies’small head were the key toward success and of course, his salvation.
However, once Alfred’s trick didn’t work: it happened many years ago, right after he abandoned Helen in that small and unwelcome room in London when he got involved with a certain Anne Loren Booton, the wife of a certain Marquis Booton, who was extremely coquette, but also intelligent if to talk about her love affairs. And she was doing everything so well that her husband never found out about her „lovers.” However, even if Marquis Booton had found out something, she would have known how to make things seem as if she was innocent.
Till one day when Marquis found out about her „business meetings” with Stonebridge, and the offended husband asked immediately for the duel. But this also happened because Anne told her husband that actually it was Alfred’s fault, who deceived her and seduced her, whispering in her small ears so many things that she felt powerless and when she finally came back to her senses, she was already in his arms, making love. Of course, if this happened, it wasn’t her fault or betrayal, for she was only an innocent lady deceived by a liar, one very good actually like Alfred was, and poor she was without doubt sinless. And of course, the betrayed husband, enough innocent and in love, felt betrayed till deep in his bones and hurt because his sweet deer fell prey to the hungry wolf, which had no shame or good thoughts for her reputation and, to wash their reputation, the Marquis asked Stonebridge to be present in a certain point in the woods, the next day, for the duel.
This astonished Alfred a lot and he didn’t know what to do, for there was nobody by his side to help him in such cases. That’s why, without thinking too much, he sunk out of sight. However, he didn’t go alone, but with another deer, actually a good friend of Marquise Booton, a certain Marie Laggard, a widow, who was much older than Alfred, but with enough money to spend at his will.
But this new romance didn’t last long: Marie, tired of his debauch, found a new lover soon, much younger than Alfred, and turned back to London where she had a lot of friends to spend her precious time with.
Thus, Alfred has been left behind and, for the first time, he has been the one who felt the bitter taste of betrayal on the top of his tongue. However, even if he came by his desert, Alfred wasn’t ready to accept his defeat. That’s why he also decided that it was the right time to turn back to London.
To his great surprise, however, coming back to London, he found out that Marquis Booton completely forgot about him when he caught his wife with another man again. But Mrs. Booton this time not only found another love, but she also brought a big surprise home - she got pregnant with her new lover, and, because he didn’t want to accept the child, she decided to ask her husband to do that. Marquis Booton instead wasn’t that stupid to share his fortune with a child that wasn’t his. That's why he didn’t last long to ask the Church for a divorce, and, right after he got it, he married again to a woman that swore to be only his till her death.
And in that avalanche of surprises and betrayals, Alfred found out about Helen’s death and about Eva. Then, he has been somehow forced to take care of the girl. But because he had no other choice, he named himself a father and, after a sort, he tried to take care of her.
But to his great disappointment, Eva derived from him only the blue eyes. For the rest - she looked exactly like her mother. Or at least this was what Alfred thought, who almost forgot what Helen looked like, as he forgot that she also had blue eyes, and he also didn’t notice the fact that Eva and Helen looked as like as two peas. Or maybe Alfred only forced himself not to notice that resemblance because of the guilt that was killing his heart?! Who knows?!
Anyway, one or another, he took care of Eva and lived his life, even if sometimes he got to hate Helen for giving birth to a child that didn’t look exactly like him, for he had wished for a boy instead of a girl, a boy to help him if necessary. But he had forgotten that he has also been someone’s son, of a good man who he got to betray and forced him to go into the wide world. Alfred instead didn’t care about this and, to be honest, he didn’t even remember that he betrayed someone someday, just as he got, in time, to forget his desire of having a son and not a daughter.
And he forgot this and used to the idea of having a little girl in his house only because Eva wasn’t a problematic child, and he could live his life as he wanted. Of course, he remembered, just from time to time, to send some money home, not much, only to be enough for the girl to survive. Even so, Alfred always thought that he did more than he should have done for her and, thus, he was waiting for a reward from her, and that reward Eva had to give him was for sure a big amount of money.
Suddenly Alfred came to his senses from that numbness and widely open his eyes, seeing a bunny in the distance. And, amused by that fluffy animal’s clumsiness, Stonebridge felt refreshed and forgot what he thought about till that moment. Yet, he remembered that the sky was so purple and looked at it. To his great amazement, he saw some sunrays piercing that almost black vault and he compared those rays with „rays of hope,” something that told him that good times were coming, big times with a lot of money, something that made him smile again. That’s why he pulled the blanket up to his ears and, supporting his back on that chair, he let himself completely immerse in dreaming in that slow rocking of the carriage, somehow warmed inside by the thought of a big income that was approaching, something that helped him to fall asleep so soon, smiling like a little child that had no problem in this world.