„Some of us hide from themselves, others - from fate”

  Even if Alice told him to release Eva from that „dungeon” in which they lived, without forcing her in a way or another, Brian considered this as being impossible - just to let everything end like that: so suddenly, so incomprehensible, without an explanation to that constant „why" that was resounding in his head.

  „I must see Eva,” he said, after a few hours of walking back on forth through Alfred Stonebridge’s office, in the desperate attempt of brooding those thoughts about an uncertain situation, illogical even. Yet, he couldn’t find any logical answer to all those questions that dwell in his head. That’s why, he rushed to leave the office, slamming the door behind him.

  Then, he rushed to climb the stairs and, getting in front of Eva’s room door, he knocked. But he received no answer, and this amazed him. „Does he sleep already?” he asked in a whisper. Yet, he didn’t know why, but he felt that he couldn’t give up on the idea to see her and talk to her, for he wanted to know why she decided so suddenly to leave Image and return to London along with Mrs. Huntington and Beth, instead of trying to form a family with Laura and him.

  „Eva, we must talk!” he said in a loud voice, knocking again. „Please, I know you hear me! We must talk, even if I know you are so upset with me and you don’t want to see me. But… if you need explanations, supplications, or whatever else… I’m ready to do that. For your sake and of Laura, I’m ready for anything. Of everything, do you hear me?” but again he heard no answer.

  That’s why, due to a weird impulse of his heart, he pressed on that doorknob and entered the room. But… there was nobody - the room was empty, the bed carefully arranged, and only the raindrops were heard beating on the window as if playing the drums.

  Suddenly, he winced, hearing a movement behind him and he turned: it was the nursemaid with Laura in her arms, heading toward his room, for she bathed the girl and changed her clothes and Laura fell asleep so soon. That’s why she decided to leave her in her crib to sweetly sleep.

  Seeing Brian staring thunderstruck at her, the woman said, after glancing in the room: „do you look for Miss Stonebridge?” and Brian instinctively nodded yes. „She just climbed into Mrs. Huntington’s carriage. It seems that they go to London today, for… Stan put already her luggage behind the carriage.”

  Brian’s heart stopped in his chest, his slow breath stopped rushing throughout his body too, and he felt his mind numbed: Eva left without saying goodbye to him.

  Then, so sudden that he made the poor nursemaid wince and crawl back, Brian jerked from his place and ran in a hurry down the stairs.

  Getting in front of the main door instead, he stopped, not knowing if it was good what he wanted to do: to run after her meant to give up on his principles, to step on his ego, to swallow his pride. Yet: that „I’m ready for everything for you and Laura.” was told by him with his heart. So, his hand rushed to touch the doorknob, the door noisy opened, and he sank into the night, running like a chased spirit after that carriage that was leaving, and calling Eva’s name.

  But… Mrs. Huntington’s carriage was rushing already on that road across from the forest onto which, a year ago, Albert and Emily took Eva out of that village. But, instead of Beth, who also ran then after the carriage, calling Eva’s name, was Brian this time, in a desperate attempt of making her stay, of forcing her to change her mind and not abandon him and Laura.

  Eva instead pretended not to hear him, because the carriage didn’t stop even for a second. Per contra: Mrs. Huntington, who was in the driving box, pulled the reins, and the horses started their gallop through the rain, cutting that harsh autumn wind with their black manes while the carriage’s wheels were cutting the mud of the road - the same muddy country road that saw Eva leaving that village once, a year ago and which seemed to be the last road she was moving onto while leaving that so well-known town, heading toward nowhere.

***

  „Won’t you even say goodbye to him?” Beth asked Eva in a whisper after she heard Brian’s voice, desperately calling Eva’s name and she looked through the window and she saw him running behind the carriage and, in his place, she saw herself, that one year ago stupid girl, who also ran after a carriage when she felt that she lost her entire world built over fifteen years. And then, as now, Eva also decided to go without saying goodbye to her.

  „Yes, Beth. I won’t,” murmured Eva, who was to Beth’s left, and, after she better covered her legs with the blanket, she stretched her back and proudly looked in front of her.

  Namely that new posture of Eva: of a noble person, incapable of conceding or explaining to the world why she was doing this, made Beth keep silent and, with her eyes slowly shaking under the burden of the tears that wanted to flow on her cheeks, she looked outside - at the night that was taking over the surroundings, without caring about longings, breaking up, or regrets.

  „Yet, I consider that you are cruel,” murmured Beth eventually, and her shaking voice made Eva look at her amazed. Beth instead didn’t look at Eva: „same as a year ago, you leave everything behind - your past, dear people that you once met, heading toward an unknown future, doubtful, and so cruel.”

  But even those words didn't make Eva say something: justifying - had neither head nor tail, for it would have meant to lie. Nor could she tell Beth the truth - yes, she couldn’t do that, for… she made a vow, to herself, that none of those she loves will suffer because of the choices she made in her life.

  „If you had known what’s now in my heart!” Eva told herself, looking through the window to her left, at those raindrops that were rushing down the glass. „If you had known the big sacrifice I do now, you would have probably understood me. But… it’s better for you to remain in your innocent world, Beth, blaming me, but still safe. And… forgive me, Brian! Forgive me, for not being able to understand you, to trust you. But… I love you too much to allow my selfish love to endanger you and Laura. And… if the world wants this and if God wants this too, I’ll turn back someday and, then, will be everything different! Yes, forgive! Please, forgive me!”

  And the sky continued to cry, instead of Eva… while her name was still called so far from her by Brian, who was kneeling in that cold and harsh autumn mud, stopped there by Stan, who struggled with him, despite his young age. And Stan did that, he stopped Brian because Mrs. Huntington told him before leaving: „since today, boy, be always next to Mister Beneath. And… if he follows us while we are leaving, stop him, for… only this way, we can save three souls.”

  He didn’t understand the old woman’s words at that moment, for so many weird things happened in the last months that he couldn’t understand them all. Yet, if she told him to do that, it was because it was the right thing. Thus, when the nursemaid entered his room in a hurry, still carrying Laura in her arms, and told him nervously that Mister Beneath ran after the carriage, through the rain, without taking at least a coat on him, Stan rushed out of his room, taking Bardain’s coat from the hanger, and ran at full tilt after Brian, heading toward that place from where Brian’s shouts were heard.

  But at that moment, when Brian cried like a baby in his arms, Stan understood that Beth has been right when they talked in front of the stable: that no one can be indifferent in front of someone else’s problems. Likely or unlikely, you became part of that ague and his soul started to torment too, like the seawater in stormy times.

  Yet, minutes after he stopped Brian when the carriage’s wheels weren’t heard anymore in the distance, Stan told Brian, who was still crying his pain in that tormented shake of his body: „let’s go, Mister Beneath! Laura is waiting for us!”

  Probably the name of his baby girl gave him the power to stand up, for he for sure wouldn’t have been able to do that on his own. More than this: if Stan had let him there, knelt in that mud, Brian would have stood there till the end of his life, waiting for his love to turn back to him.

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  But there was no way back and he understood this while being already in his room and saw Laura sweetly sleeping in her crib.

  The nursemaid instead wasn’t in his room at that moment: she had probably gone to wash Laura’s and her boy’s clothes, who was sleeping in her room at that moment. Thus, taking advantage that the woman was missing, Brian approached the crib and, wet as he was, took her in his arms and put her on the big bed. Then, he lay next to her and stood like a stone statue there, a statue that suffered a lot, watching Laura’s sleep, who was the only dear person still left in his life.

***

  Even if Mrs. Huntington told Eva to live in her house and to be always by her side, Eva denied the proposal and, the same night they left Image, she asked her to bring her to Christine Bircham’s house.

  It was already past two when she knocked on the door and she had to wait for about half an hour till Christine finally opened that door.

  But, even if she had been so amazed to see that Eva willingly returned to her house, Christine said nothing and just allowed Eva to enter.

  Then, when the four women got to the living room and Beth left Eva’s luggage somewhere next to the chimney in which only sparkles could be seen, Mrs. Huntington said, staring at Christine, who wasn’t losing sight of Eva, who was actually doing the same: „I’ll withdraw along with Beth now, for… neither is the right moment, nor the time for social visits. But: Mrs. Bircham, keep in mind - this isn’t the last time you see my face and I assure you that we still have a lot to tell the other.”

  „Like?” Christine asked in amazement and somehow ironically, staring at the old woman that was standing in the middle of the living room.

  „We’ll talk about this at the right time. Good evening! And… let’s go Beth!” she told the young girl.

  Beth instead grabbed the old woman's hand and, staring at her with a soulful look, she murmured: „I’d like to stay, if possible.”

  But who answered Beth eventually has been Eva, who turned toward Beth and Mrs. Huntington and, forcing a smile, she said: „go with Mrs. Huntington, Beth! Anyway, you know where I am, and… when you have some time, you can come to see me.”

  „As if this isn’t my house! Each does what he wants here!” Christine mumbled.

  Christine’s mean commentary instead didn’t hurt Eva at all. Per contra: she turned and stared at Christine: „as far as I know you have this house thanks to Luis Chesterman, but… he never put this house in your name.”

  Christine winced: „how did Eva know about this? How did she know that I couldn't ever convince Luis to put that house in my name even if I asked him for this so many times? Emily? No, I don’t think so: she didn’t know about this.”

  And, even if she wanted to ask more about that theme, Christine kept silent, for Mrs. Huntington approached Eva and, taking the young woman’s hands into hers, she said: „don’t ever forget that the door of my house is always open for you, Eva. And… if you feel that you can’t go further, stop, turn back, and think that others depend on you! And… you aren’t alone in this!”

  „I know, Mrs. Huntington! Yet, if I chose this path, I can’t give up now! At least, not for the moment.”

  „I know! That’s why I told you this: it’s noble your cause, the one you want to fight for. But yet: don’t forget that giving up on yourself is selfishness and a stupid thing. Better alive and next to your dears, than 3 meters underground and alone!”

  Then, Alice hugged Eva for a few moments and headed toward the door. Yet, passing by Beth, she told her: „I’ll wait for you in the carriage! Don’t be late!”

  And when the main door slammed behind the old lady, Eva approached Beth who was in the same place where the old woman scolded her, still with her head bent and with her eyes bathed by tears. Yet, holding Beth’s hands into hers, Eva forced her to look at her: „don’t cry, Beth! It’s probably our destiny: to never live together anymore!”

  „Yet: it’s so sad this!” murmured Beth and, suddenly, she hugged Eva.

  That hug instead amazed Christine so much, for she had never expected that Eva was loved by someone. For her, even Brian’s love for Eva was just a profitable business, for Eva could give him what he always wanted: true love and… a child. But… she has been wrong instead.

  „All the roads lead somewhere eventually, Beth,” Eva whispered in the girl’s ear, not to be heard by Christine. „And… never forget that there’s always a place for you in my heart. I love you, my dear friend and I promise you that I’ll tell you someday about everything that happened to me. Now instead, I ask you to leave me alone here, for this is the best decision. And, when it’ll be the right time, I promise that I’ll be back and we’ll be together again.”

  Not understanding a single thing of what Eva told her, Beth stared in amazement at her. Yet, spurred by Eva, she left Christine’s house and, so soon, Mrs. Huntington’s carriage left the yard.

  Only then did Eva turn toward Christine and smile: but that one wasn’t a happy smile or one of kindness: it could be considered more as being the start of the war. So, after she comfortably sat down in Christine’s armchair, she said: „now, Mrs. Bircham, we can talk! As equals!”

  Amazed by Eva’s behavior, who had never before dared to look into her eyes, Christine took a few steps across the room: „I take this as a sign that you grew up a lot all these months since you left my house.”

  „And not only I grew up, but… I also became a mother. Recently,” Eva sharply told her, as if trying to warn her of something.

  Christine slowly turned toward her, staring at her, with a kind of coldness intertwined with amazement in her glance, for the openness used by Eva to talk to her at that moment was something she had never expected: „yet, you are here and not with your kid!”

  „For that, I should thank you!”

  „Me? What for?”

  „For having the dare to sell me and buy me at your whim.” This made Christine wince again. „What? Surprised that I also know to whom you sold me this time?”

  „At all. This means that that person visited you and talked to you about certain… plans.”

  „That that person talked to me? Let’s not be hypocrites, Mrs. Bircham. That „talked to” is just a nice manner of calling a „threatening.” But… you didn’t find the right person this time. For that job.”

  „I think yes. Otherwise, you wouldn't have been here.”

  „And here you’re wrong: if I’m here, is just to blow down your neck all the time and keep an eye on you. To make sure that you won’t ever get what you tried to have, for so long already, eagerly.”

  Christine ironically smiled: „are you sure?”

  „Absolutely. Otherwise: everybody in this country and if possible, even far from its borders will find out the reason why you lied all this time. And the first one to find this out will be Luis Chesterman.”

  Christine swallowed hard and, so soon, she felt a lot of cold sweat drops running on her back, even if it was warm enough in the living room.

  Eva instead liked a lot to see Christine scared and abashed as if a wild instinct had awoken inside her, a feeling she thought that she wasn’t able to ever feel, but which always existed there. So, standing up, she slowly took off her gloves and said: „I’ll take back my old room! Even if… initially I thought to stop into Emily’s old room. But… I still consider this unfair. She has eventually been another victim, thanks to you. And… she eventually died, also as a victim - of her own foolishness this time and due to her blind trust in love.”

  „You also know this. Wherefrom?”

  „Because others took care to inform me about everything.”

  „Even about the fact that Brian Beneath is married to Sophie Anderson Bell?” Christine tried to give Eva the final stroke. But she failed and she understood this, seeing Eva’s grin. „You also knew about this.”

  „As I also know that they signed already the divorce, and, if you don’t want me to become his wife and to have everything that you and the other two jackals want, or maybe more than two, I suggest you not to ever stay in my way. Ever!”

  After that, Eva headed toward the stairs. But she climbed them slowly, for, even if she gave birth more than a week ago, she still felt weak, and the way from Image to London left her powerless too. Getting up instead, she stopped and looked from above at Christine: „by the way, Mrs. Bircham, I’m interested to know what Emily felt while falling on those stairs, at the theater, after being pushed from behind… by you. But… as she’s already dead, I won’t probably ever find this out. Or… who knows?! Maybe fate loves me and will give me the opportunity to know how this feels.” Then she turned her back to those stairs and only the slammed door of the room was heard seconds after that.

  Alone, Christine squeezed her fists, gnashing: „if you think that I fell into your trap and that you can play with me like the cat with the mouse, you are so wrong, Eva Stonebridge. You don’t even know against who are trying to fight now.”

  Then, she headed toward her office, and the slammed door made a deafening noise around. But… soon after, Eva appeared in the same place from where she talked to Christine while being on the second floor, for the noise of that door, which had been heard earlier, has been her trick to make Christine think that she couldn’t hear her and that she could talk confidently. Instead, what she wanted was to see how Christine will react, just to know how to behave from now on. But… she understood that that won’t an easy battle, eventually.