These strange people gave me a ring made by that old magician from the stem of some blade of grass. Having put it on their middle finger, they suddenly spoke in a language I understood, or rather, only those who had also put the same ring on their middle finger. The old magician himself, as it turned out, made these rings for everyone, after which conversations began between a strange group of pale-skinned wanderers and strangers who captured and tied up our group of adventurers.
I still barely understood what was happening, but fortunately Elpata in my thoughts briefly told me about what was happening and yet I was still scared by her thoughts that were gnawing at me in my head. She thought coldly, cynically, indifferently and truly monstrously. What scares me is what lives inside me and what has lived for five whole years of my life.
I still have little grasp of those memories and have not been able to fully understand them. Every time I remember all the past years, my head begins to hurt, as if these memories were pouring out all the pain accumulated over all these years. It was unbearable to think about what I went through while sleeping while my body was controlled by Pantorian.
I felt fear from the realization that she now knew what I was thinking about now, what I was going to do, what I was afraid of and what I was dreaming about. She sees right through me, and I am not even able to know myself properly and even look at Elpata. I only remember that image of a naked, strong woman from a strange scarlet wasteland with a huge eye in the sky. This is the only way I remember her and I can’t imagine her any other way.
As she ordered, I looked around at the earthlings who flooded me with questions about who I was and what I was doing, but then the most important of these earthlings went somewhere behind the trees to talk to an old man, and I was left alone, and that girl named Incartia drooped. rested her back against the tree, waiting for her to finally hit the road.
"What is wrong with you?"
Incartia suddenly said, and I, hearing her words, turned to her and asked:
"What are you speaking about?"
“You seem to have become a different person and it seems to me that the way you behave is more like the real you, but then who were you in the past? Who did I see then? No, I have to ask differently."
The young sorceress shook her head and asked with all seriousness in her voice:
“What happened to you? Why did you suddenly change?”
«Good question.»
Elpata's cold and curious voice sounded in my head.
«I think you can tell her the truth.»
What? Are you sure I can tell her this?
«We have no need to fear her. These “unworthy” ones have little understanding of even their own nature of things. They live only by believing in ancient legends and myths, they do not know which of them are true and which are heroic fiction. At least now I know for sure that more than ten centuries have passed since then. So don't be shy and tell her the truth. She still won't understand you.»
And if she understands something, then what will happen to me?
«Then you will die.»
I swallowed my saliva when I heard such a dark train of thought in my head. Clear, rational, calculating and strict. Why should I tell her the truth? This is probably because I don't know how to lie and Elpata knows it. She doesn't lie because she is a Pantorian, and I can't lie because I can easily give away my lie through my actions. That's why I can't lie now.
Before giving my answer, I breathed more air into my chest and, a little nervous with terrible anticipation, said:
“Another soul lived inside me for many years.”
"Huh?"
Incartia widened her eyes and was surprised.
“What? Another soul? How is this possible?”
“She moved inside me five years ago and saved my life.”
I couldn't tell her anything but the truth. Incartia saw me talking about this with a dark expression on my face. She didn't see the lies in me, but she saw the hostility that was reflected on my face. She quickly guessed what was what.
“Another soul... don’t you love her enough?”
“Yes... because... she stole five years of life, my life. How can I love her after this?”
I said with all sincerity and resentment, simultaneously regretting that I was so weak in front of her enormous essence and could not maintain control over my body.
Incartia just thought about my answer and muttered under her breath:
"This explains a lot. That blow most likely awakened your true soul, but then what about her soul? She is dead?"
"No. I keep hearing her in my head."
It was as if Elpata's laughter sounded in my mind as my eyes watched Incartia's reaction.
“Is what you say true? Are these some kind of excuses?”
«This is not a question, this is a test. She wants to hear my words. Tell her this...»
“'Yes, Mrs. Incartia, my words are the truth.' That’s what she asked me to convey.”
Incartia's eyes sparkled when she was convinced that everything I said was true.
“Yes indeed... you are telling the truth. She would have said it the way you just did.”
After these words, looking at Incartia, I do not see in her any desire to kill me. Elpata was right: she, knowing the truth, simply does not know what to do. Perhaps she will then talk to the old man and find out more about this and then most likely she will do something towards me.
«You already think like an adult. This is a reason to be proud.»
Could I have thought differently?
«Unworthy people like you can only follow their emotions, turning off their own minds, living on pure instincts and nothing more, but you followed logic, discarding unnecessary feelings, and that’s why I’m proud of you. Maybe someday in the future you too will have the honor of becoming “worthy”.»
No.
«It's a shame, but I'm still happy that you're becoming a strong person.»
It was you who made me remember the past years, go through the pain that you did. It's on your conscience, because of you I'm changing now. You took my life, used it as you please, filled my life with pain that cannot be tolerated for even a short moment. Because of this pain, I cannot remember the years that you stole from me. Only my desire to see dad makes me continue to listen to your advice. If it weren’t for this, I would have shut you up forever and buried you in the darkest depths of my consciousness so that I would never hear your squeak again!
«Don't be arrogant, Camellia, you're still human.»
And you still exist in my body.
«This is true, but I’m afraid that without me, my help and my advice, your death will only be a matter of time. Remember this, without knowledge you are weak. All “unworthy” people are weak because they have neither knowledge nor experience, but don’t be like them. I have both knowledge and experience. Under my guidance, you will become strong and then you will thank me, but as long as you are led by feelings, by these stupidest human emotions, you remain one of them, just as “unworthy.”»
Her voice finally fell silent, and I finally brought the conversation with Incartia to an end. I would like to talk to Ashwani and Furgur, to get to know them, but now they are communicating with earthlings. It seems that the strangers from the sky have a lot of questions for the two of them, so I won’t bother them.
The next moment, my gaze caught on one earthling who seemed to stand out among the rest. He was well-groomed, his slightly disheveled short dark hair lay smoothly on his head, and his sophisticated, curious green eyes were fixed on different people in this forest. The sight of his handsome face even made my cheeks red, which made Elpata even grin in my head.
«Exactly, at this age you people begin puberty. Both boys and girls feel sexual attraction to the opposite sex. I can help you overcome this feeling, you just need to choose one of two options.»
SHUT UP!!! I DON'T WANT TO HEAR ABOUT THIS FROM YOU!!!
«Know that I just wanted to help you, but you yourself decided to refuse.»
This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.
Remembering how she, controlling my body, fought against this puberty, I began to blush and feel ashamed. She did the most real perversions, either alone using my fingers between her legs or making eyes at the first men she came across so that they would fly at her with the wild look of a hungry beast, naked in bed or in some secluded place, making her feel a strange pleasant feeling filling her whole body. It was all so... vulgar.
NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! I WILL NOT DO IT! I AM NOT A WHORE!
«Stop thinking about it, just approach him.»
AND I AM NOT GOING TO!
«Don't think I'm suggesting you have sex with him, he's just acting suspicious, I want to make sure of something.»
Having instantly come to my senses and discarded vulgar thoughts, I still decided to listen to Elpata and approached this handsome guy. He really was very handsome and very sexy... but his speech patterns left much to be desired.
"Do you need something?"
He asked, turning to me.
«Tell him...»
Elpata advised me and I said the following:
"Eternal."
At this moment there was silence all around. The man, barely twitching his eye, looked around and, rising from the cobblestones to his feet, came up to me... came very close to me, towering over me. I even began to think that Elpata specifically told me to approach him, but soon he whispered very strange words in my ear.
"Pantora is alive."
"Pantora eternal."
I answered him and then the man stepped aside and began to walk at a slow pace somewhere behind the trees, and I followed him.
«My guesses were confirmed.»
What does it mean? Do you know who this is?
«“Unworthy”, like all of you, but who accepted the idea of a great order.»
Is he the one who accepted your sick ideas?
«You “unworthy” consider the great order to be wild, but there are also those “unworthy” who accept our idea with open arms and they are one of those who serve us as ordinary people. It’s better to give me control of your body for a while, so it will be much more convenient for me to talk to him.»
No and... how could I do this? Can I just wish for it or what?
«Just give me free rein, and when you realize that I’ve had enough, imprison me back in the depths of your consciousness, like now.»
I could barely comprehend it, but I still tried to imagine how I unraveled the bonds with Pantorian and gave her the long-awaited freedom. Although her essence was threatening, creepy and huge, the power over my body still continues to belong to me. She's right, I can take back control of my body whenever I want, but how did she know that?
«You don’t have to think about it, if you try, you simply won’t understand anything. There is no need to bother yourself with difficulties that you cannot yet handle.»
Then teach me.
«When it is time.»
We entered into an unspoken agreement, she will teach me everything she knows, and I will give her free reign over my body. Maybe this way she will find a way to get her body back much faster than I can imagine, but I can’t fully look at her vast mind, it’s too huge and indescribable to understand what she’s even capable of.
Meanwhile, I followed that person, and Elpata, in turn, took control of my body. I felt as if I had relaxed while my body took intuitive graceful even steps after the man and when he looked at me again he twitched as if he saw in front of him not a frightened girl, but someone who stood above him and commanded his fate.
The couple started talking and Elpata asked the first question:
"What with her?"
"We lost her."
The man answered, after which my face distorted with displeasure.
“You, unworthy ones, cannot be relied upon. At least she's still alive."
“The Eternal One cannot be destroyed so easily.”
"I know."
I snorted with contempt.
“First, we need to clarify something: what is your name around here?”
"Lecite. Unworthy from Ecostate."
I was curious to know a lot, and first of all, what it means to be “unworthy.” This is a designation I have heard so often from Elpata, but I still did not understand its meaning. Elpata apparently heard my thoughts and gave me her answer:
«"Unworthy" these are all those who do not follow the idea of the great order and in whom Pantorian blood flows. Non-humans, animals, ordinary people, all manifestations of the old nature, they are all “unworthy”. Even Pantora was once inhabited by more than 90% of the unworthy, and all because few of us understood the ideas of the great order and simply rejected it, but those who accepted these ideas received more benefits in their lives and followed the Pantorian ideals.»
Elpata was able to explain something, but she didn’t think about more, and instead continued the conversation with Lecite.
“Lecite, I will remember your name. In this body my name is Camellia, so call me that.”
“As you wish, master of war.”
He quickly guessed who I was... that is, Elpata? How?
And she also gave her answer to this question:
«Warriors of Pantora, as a rule, cannot exist without their leaders, they do not take a step without a clear decree, without a leader their only destiny is to go to harmony, but those who have completely suppressed their feelings rise above all the main forces of Pantora and enter into "Mastremus Pantorika" after which these warriors are given the title Masters of War. Since then, we have been strictly forbidden to die, and the range of responsibilities and opportunities has become much wider. You have no idea, Camellia, what a master of war is capable of with the necessary resources. "Unworthy" people like you call us"Gods", although to be honest this just makes me laugh.»
This explains a lot. Once unworthy, that is, the servant of Pantora sees a living Pantorian in front of him, this means only one thing: he sees a master of war. Now this became clear to me, but Elpata decided to answer many questions later, and now focused on a strange conversation with Lecite, asking him the question:
“How did you get to these people?”
"Grand-General Grace has ordered the unworthy to investigate the battlefields in preparation for a second move."
Lecite said casually crossing his arms over his chest.
"The Antorians are quick to spot the 'worthy', so the sage decided to send us. However, we did not have enough firepower and our squad was destroyed by the natives, and I was imprisoned underground by some creatures known as "goblins", and then these earthlings appeared and pulled me out."
Elpata began to think about these words:
"'Goblins' means... They imprisoned you underground, but why didn't you die?"
"I activated the temporal field."
"I see."
I said it, or rather Elpata, and I, in turn, did not understand the meaning of these words that my ears heard.
What is the temporal field? Does it make a person immortal?
«No. The temporal field simply stops the movement of time at a given relative point in space with a certain radius of action.»
I still didn’t understand anything, but this thought sounded very surprising.
«I’ll have to repeat this again: don’t fill your head with complications. It’s better not to interfere in my life at all and wait for me to finish the conversation.»
For these words I was a little offended by her, and then Elpata asked Lecite with my lips:
"What are you planning to do?"
“I will follow you, mistress Camellia. We need to return to the ship and report to the command about the results of the reconnaissance.”
“What if the ship is no longer there?”
“In that case, I will go to harmony.”
Elpata, hearing his words, nodded contentedly.
"It's clear. Well, I’ll let you follow me, but I’m afraid our paths will soon diverge.”
"What are you speaking about?"
“As you can see, earthlings appeared on this planet. They are not such a serious threat to us, but still we must try to get rid of them if we want to gain control of this planet.”
“Are you going to destroy them?”
“Yes, I will do that.”
I answered and forced Lecite to put forward a proposal:
“Maybe before we do this, let’s find out about their capabilities? We might even get them on our side to fight Antora."
After these words, my face twisted in a grimace of anger.
"Never."
I answered with contempt and made Lecite puzzled by my answer.
“Mistress, this is irrational.”
“It is irrational to allow earthlings to exist. Of all the people, they are the most principled, they will never join our side and it is unlikely that they have been able to reach the technological limit over the past thousand years. Technologically they are still just as backward, this was expected. Of course, compared to Antora, they are a lesser threat to us, but it is better to get rid of them as soon as possible before they, with their insanely stupid immoral ideas, do not infect the minds of the inhabitants of this planet with their “freedom”, “equality”, “tolerance”, “pluralism” and “democracy”, which they don’t even adhere to. Human stupidity is a sin, it is a tumor of the old nature, which brings only evil in its innocent wrapper. Don’t even think about getting along with the earthlings, you can’t rely on them, under any circumstances. Do you understand me?"
"… Yes. I understood you perfectly.”
In response, Lecite could only agree with my words, or rather Elpata, and I was still imbued with feelings of hatred towards these earthlings. Are they really so bad that they deserve to be destroyed in the first place? They look and act human, just like Pantorian, but why does Elpata hate them so much?
«Do you still dare to ask? The answer lies on the surface, before your eyes. Because of your body, I feel emotions that I would never feel in my own body. Your emotions compensate for my rational thoughts by feeding them with similar emotions, but deprive them of common sense and logic. In many ways I agree with Lecite, we need to study these earthlings, but these idiots need to be destroyed. Not just as a good necessity in the name of achieving great order, but as an act of satisfying the feeling of revenge... for Pantora, that these bastards destroyed.»
I can't believe that this turned out to be true and yet she continued to be who she is: cold, cynical, cruel... and inhuman. That's right, Pantorians are not people, they look like people, live among them, learn from them, but abandon everything human for the great goal of destroying all life in the universe.
Why do they want this? The answer is terribly simple: they are disillusioned with life as such, they do not see the meaning in it, because sooner or later everything will come to an end. What is the point of existence if the universe dies anyway? It is a wasted existence, a waste of energy. They think too far-sightedly, which is why they build their destructive goal. They would like to exist without end, but there is an end, and even if it happens trillions and trillions of years later, the end will still come and the very fact of its existence depresses them.
They are victims of their own ideas.
"Glorika Pantorika."
Lecite said and went back to camp, while I quickly regained control of my body, feeling the familiar power over my own arms and legs.
«We'll be on our way soon. Your body needs nutrition. Go eat.»
I know this even without you. Okay... I'll go to camp and eat something.
And again I became myself, but am I really me? So much has happened in such a short time and I just can’t wrap my head around it all. In any case, one thing still drives me: to return home and meet my dad.
I miss you, dad.