What?

Where I am?

Who are these people?

What's happening?

There were so many questions lurking in my head, and my head itself seemed to be rolling in circles, aching, and there was some strange ringing in my ears, as if someone was crawling in my head with needle-like legs and trying to break out.

These people in front of me looked very strange in some kind of green spotted thick tunics, with large semicircular iron hats and with black fancy sticks in their hands. I didn't know what it was and I didn't care. I just wanted with all my heart to return home, as always.

However, my dreams were not destined to come true. I was here and it was not a dream, but the pain felt throughout my body was real. Fear and misunderstanding tried to tear my heart out, whose beats drowned out everything around with each new blow, and what’s worse, I was immobilized.

"What?"

I said out loud when I realized that I was tied up.

«These people... who are they and why did they tie me up?»

I didn’t understand, filled with waves of horror, making me fear these people more than ever, seeing in them only those who want to bring me harm.

But besides this, my head was in a fog, my memories did not seem like my own, I did not understand them at all. They were so indescribable that I just tried to get them out of my head. Were they mine? If yes, then why don't I understand anything? Why does it seem to me that I don’t remember at all what I should? Who am I? What a stupid question? I am... I am...

My thoughts were out of order, everything was mixed up in some kind of heap. I remembered how I behaved, how I lived, and I know for sure that I never uttered those words that I once said, or rather, I uttered them, but I definitely would not have said that. Are these my memories?

"Who am I?"

I said it out loud and the ringing in my ears gradually began to subside, as if the tenacious paws of a wild beast decided to retreat upon seeing another dangerous predator, which made me feel a little better, but this did not extinguish the fear growing inside me.

Now I heard the noise of the forest, the rustling of leaves and birdsong, the voices of these strangers whom I did not understand, and then in my left ear I heard a question from some girl:

“Camelia, are you okay?”

I turned my head to the left, which I actually did with great difficulty due to the fact that my hair was clinging to the bark of the tree. I didn’t know who she was, but her blue eyes were so worried, so sincere, as if she was really worried about me, but I didn’t know who she was and why she was so worried about me. Can I trust her? Is her trust in me sincere?

"Who are you?"

I asked her, but instead of answering, she rolled her eyes and said something to someone aside in a language I didn’t understand.

"What did you say?"

“You’re not pretending, are you?”

She asked me a strange question, quickly returning her attention to me.

«Pretend? Why should I pretend?»

I thought and shook my head from side to side so that she would understand that this is not so.

“No... I'm not like that. Wait a minute, you didn’t say who you are.”

“Camelia, what’s wrong with you? You're different."

The girl said and blinked her eyes with fear on her face.

“They took away your memory...”

"They? Who are they? Please tell me! I don’t understand anything... I don’t remember anything.”

I said quietly, starting to tremble with fear more than ever.

A feeling of absolute misunderstanding lurked within me. It was so scary to realize that part of your life was forgotten. The last thing I remember was running away into a cave from a terrible bad man. He wounded me in the stomach, and then... I heard a voice... what voice? At this moment, my memories are interrupted and yet I know that a lot of time has passed since that moment, but exactly how much time I did not know.

«What's wrong with my voice?»

I was surprised to realize that his sound had changed.

«It became so... loud, as if I had grown up. Have I grown up?»

And indeed I have become older, more feminine and healthier. I didn’t feel pain in my stomach, but I didn’t remember absolutely anything more precisely, let alone what I should have done, what I was doing, and I don’t even know what happened to my parents. I didn’t understand what was going on at all! I was so scared... I so wanted to plunge into her arms.

"Mother…"

I whispered as my eyes filled with tears. Those moments flashed before my eyes.

“Camelia, what’s wrong with you?”

The girl asked worriedly.

"Where…~sob~ …Mother?"

Tears burned my eyes, I just wanted to close them, but a salty stream was just beginning to run down my cheeks, I sniffled, blew snot and generally couldn’t help myself, just wanting to cry from pain. This is the only thing I could do now: sob helplessly.

«They killed her... no... I don’t believe it.»

I remembered sobbing.

The most terrible moment in my life arose in front of me, the moment when that man pulled my mother out of the carriage and stuck his sword straight into her stomach, letting a lot of blood fall to the ground. I remembered how emptiness froze on her face, and she fell to the ground dead. She instantly became immobilized, as if she had fallen into a sleep forever, and that’s basically what happened.

I then barely had time to jump to my feet and also received a blow from the sword to my stomach. It was so painful, but with all my heart I wanted to run away from the nightmare that killed my mother, I ran into the cave despite the fact that I also really didn’t want to leave my mother and hid among the dark stone cave teeth, but because of that pain in my stomach, I weakened and ...

...died.

«Am I...am I dead?»

I widened my tear-filled eyes. It wasn't like I was dead. I'm alive, but I was tied up. What happened? Why am I not in the cave? How did I end up in this forest? Why am I tied up? So who are these people? And who is she? She's tied up too!

"You! Who are you?!"

Almost in panic, I shouted to her. The girl twitched from my screams and quickly blurted out to me:

“Incartia. I am Incartia, your... your mistress."

“Mistress? What?"

I couldn’t believe my ears, I froze from even greater misunderstanding.

“That is... not this... don’t think the wrong thing.”

She tried to make an excuse while strange people gathered around us.

“I just want to say that... I'm your friend. Calm down, otherwise they might kill you."

"Who are they?"

I turned to the people who surrounded me and looked at me sternly from all sides.

"I don't know."

Incartia answered.

“They say they are from another world, but other worlds do not exist. I don't understand what they want from me. Please, Camelia, just calm down and...”

“What do they want from me?!”

I panicked, trying to somehow move and get out of here, but I was tied so tightly that my efforts were in vain.

"Nothing."

She whispered, and I gradually began to calm down from her answer.

«Nothing? So they won't hurt me? Then why did they tie me up? Let them untie!»

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"O-okay."

I said, calming down a little, taking deep breaths and exhalations, but alas, I couldn’t calm my heart down like that, it continued to beat wildly.

“Tell them to untie me, I will behave well, honestly and will not run away.”

“Are you...are you serious?”

The girl raised an eyebrow.

"And what not? It hurts me. The ropes are very tight."

“We are prisoners. They won't untie us."

"Why? What have we done to them?!”

I asked screaming while even more anxiety grew inside me.

“I... I’m a good girl, I always obeyed mom, dad, and the maids too, I... I’m not to blame for anything! I didn't do anything wrong! Let them untie me!”

“Oh Sod, what’s the matter with you?”

The girl spoke and a loud scream arose inside my head.

«DON'T YOU DARE DAMAGE MY EARS IN THE NAME OF SOME HEAVENLY CRAP!»

«Aaaah~!!! Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!"

I screamed and then closed in on myself.

My consciousness disappeared somewhere, and the world around me changed, turning into a strange shimmering veil. I felt a little more freedom than I could afford, I could move my arms and legs, breathe freely and didn’t even feel pain, but the world around me instantly changed.

Above me hung a cloudless sky the color of scarlet blood, black sands under my feet that stretched from horizon to horizon, some orange peaks could be seen in the distance and I was standing naked in the middle of this whole strange place, and in the sky I could see a huge white eye with a black pupil that drilled into me with a firestorm that flowed across his iris.

“What it is? W-Where am I?”

I looked around and didn’t see anyone.

"This is weird."

I heard a woman’s voice and turned back, seeing in front of me a tall naked woman with white and black striped hair, tied in a ponytail, curls that stretched in waves to her waist and floated in the air as if under water.

Her body shape was perfect, like an hourglass, and her exquisite blue eyes sparkled, emitting a certain power that made me feel uneasy. She was confident, she was calm, she was wise and she was inquisitive and fierce at the same time.

And I, a little girl, stood in front of her like an unknown flower, and she hovered over me, thinking about something. It seemed that I was in a trap, that I couldn’t run away from her, I definitely couldn’t here, as if some roots were stretching from her back and barely touching me, holding me in place. And inside myself I knew that there was nowhere to run and that’s why I didn’t try to run away anywhere.

“W-Who are you?!”

I shouted, taking short, careful steps back. Her answer was immediate, very indifferent, as if it did not interrupt her thoughts about something for a moment.

“I am the one who lent myself your life. My name is Elpata and I am a master of war."

"El-pa-ta?"

I repeated her strange-sounding name, syllable by syllable.

"Where I am?"

“Don’t expect an answer, Camelia.”

She said and squatted down in front of me, examining my face very close, almost close to my face.

“Hmm~... apparently I was careless. If I had Mekhanites, I would regain control of my body, but it seems that this is impossible now.”

“What are you doing?”

I was perplexed by her words.

“Is this the place you made? I want to leave here! Let me out!”

"I think…"

She said sternly, mysteriously looking me up and down.

Honestly, in addition to fear, I was also embarrassed by her, and therefore I covered my private parts with my hands, but there was no reaction to this action. What kind of place was this? What is that scary eye in the sky? And why did I end up here? I see that she knew what this place was, she was at home here, or maybe she was used to being here. Doesn't matter! I don't feel comfortable here!

"What do you want from me? I want to go home!"

I shouted to her. Suddenly she snapped her fingers and said with a grin:

“I know what to do. I will bring you home if you do what I ask."

"What?"

I was surprised at the same time, hoping for a moment from her words.

"Is it true?"

"Pantorians never lie."

She said.

“Lying is too much of a luxury for my people, but for yours it is a common tool of an outdated life.”

I didn't quite understand her, but she really seemed to be telling the truth. I didn’t feel the lies in her words, as if she really was deprived of the opportunity to tell a lie. It seems to me that here I could not lie to her in response, as if I knew that nothing could be hidden here.

"So what do you want?"

I asked her again.

“You will receive instructions from me, and I will show you the way home to your father. He has been waiting for a long time, he has been looking for you for many years. Well, do you agree?”

"Yes! I agree!"

I answered without hesitation.

The next moment, the scarlet veil fell, and I again found myself tied at the tree trunk, again feeling that oppressive lack of freedom of being tied to a tree. All around I could see the same view: strange people, a thicket of forest and the same tied up girl to my left. This time I did not feel the fear of misunderstanding from what was happening and instead I was surprisingly extremely calm.

No fear.

No hate.

But there is no sympathy either.

What a strange word... sympathy, where could I have heard it? However, I had no time for that now. I want to know what's going on and go home to my father. He was waiting for me, he was looking for me and I miss him so much.

I don’t need to take deep breaths and exhales, I already felt unusually calm and I can also guess who could have done this. That woman from that place, it’s as if she lives inside me somewhere in the middle of the corners of my consciousness. I still feel a huge hole inside me, she is soulless, emotionless, shared with me her coldness, and soon her thoughts:

«I will explain to you what happened during these five years...»

I heard a beautiful female voice and my eyes almost widened when I mentally heard it.

Five years? It's been five years?! I thought it was much less...

«I lived your life to achieve my goal. I, just like you, wanted with all my body to return home, but after today’s events, I realized that I would not be able to do this until I returned my own body.»

Your body? So you're dead? Wait! Are you... are you inside me?

«The concept of death is blurry for us, rather, I am still reasonable and have not succumbed to the influence of destructive forces in order to find myself in harmony before the due time. Think as you like, I don’t have a body, but I really live inside you, more precisely inside your active part of the brain, and before that I lived instead of you, completely controlling your body.»

And even though I was calm, fear was creeping up a little in my throat, my heart was pounding with fear after hearing the words. Her goal had nothing to do with me, she used my life, took it from me, and she still wants to use me to get her body back.

I can’t help but be angry with her for this, but she promised me that my father was alive and said that he was looking for me, which means I’ll find him if I help her return to her body, although I can’t imagine how this is possible, but if I follow her wishes, do what she wants, then I will get what I want.

In the next moment, what seemed like hours to me, my head was filled with memories of the past five years of my life. During this time, I was sheltered by a forester who taught me magic, but Elpata, however, did not attach any importance to him despite the fact that he cared about me and I saw it in his gaze, this care, but instead of somehow thanking Sarg, she considered him for being a complete insignificance and left him, leaving him completely alone without even saying goodbye.

She considered all people as such, without exception, she was disgusted with human life, she was disgusted with all human emotions, the feelings that they experience. She felt like a stranger here, completely adhering to her own life goal: the great order of things, whatever that meant.

Now I knew what was happening. I was heading with the adventurers to the ruins of the dark ones, and that girl was our customer, a sorceress just like me, but I still had no idea who these people were until Elpata uttered a word in my head filled with great anger and incredible contempt for them.

«Earthlings.»

At that moment, a new image appeared before my eyes. There were rubble, stone walls everywhere, explosions, the roar of gunfire, some sounds from the sky and people screaming in the distance. There was a war going on, and I... or rather Elpata, dressed all in black, was shooting blue fire from a stick in her hands, tearing people’s bodies into pieces. In that image of her there were no emotions, there were no feelings, there was only a desire to fulfill the combat mission of cleansing the populated area at any cost.

It was as if I was her at that moment, I remembered how I spotted a family fleeing for their lives, and even though inside I was scared, I knew what would happen if I pulled the trigger, but I did it anyway, because Elpata was not me, she was not me, she without any pity she incinerated people, and after that she didn’t even pay attention to the charred torn bodies of this family falling down. She didn't need them anymore.

She killed these earthlings by the thousands, both soldiers and civilians, and now these earthlings whom she so mercilessly exterminated were here and tied me up, looking at me sternly as if I were an inveterate criminal whom they had finally caught. I felt fear again, I was afraid that they would come for me, I was afraid that they would kill me out of a thirst for revenge, I was afraid that they knew who I was... or rather Elpata.

«They gave us resistance.»

She continued to speak to me mentally, showing me her own memories of how a terrible war broke out among the stars.

«They consider the old nature natural, fair, unchangeable. They fought to the last, did not believe that we could spare them, so that they could become part of the lower society and get the opportunity to become worthy, the right to this. It was fair on our part, we offered them peace, offered to accept our order, but they were full of anger, these emotional addicts, drunk on absolutely useless grief for people who were never family to them. They were wrong, they were stubborn, but we were careless and therefore lost miserably. And what’s even worse is that you are exactly the same as them. You are a human too.»

When Elpata finished, one dark-haired man sat down in front of me and said something, and that girl translated his words for me into a language I knew:

“He wants to know your name. Just say it, they'll understand."

«You need to survive first, so obey and say what they want to hear from you. Tell them.»

"Camelia."

I said my real name, as my parents and everyone around me always called me, and then I swallowed my saliva as if I wanted to pretend to be scared.

The man in front of me nodded a little and apparently said his name:

"Itami."

Then he asked me questions about who I am, where I’m from, what I do, what country I live in, and I couldn’t answer many of these questions. In general, I didn’t fully understand who the earthlings were and how Elpata recognized them as earthlings and why she considered me the same as them. After all, other... humans also appeared in her image.

«The human species dominates the old nature, is its pinnacle, apogee.»

Elpata spoke in my thoughts when the earthlings stopped interrogating me for a while.”

«It is not surprising that humans eventually spread across different worlds and, of course, separated. For humans, war among themselves is normal. Humans strive for diversity, but at the same time they are hypocrites, they always say that they hate war and want to be united, to live in peace and quiet, but they themselves allow populists to become presidents who destroyed the fate of millions by unleashing disastrous conflicts, constantly deceiving everyone own people. For humans this is normal, but for us it is not. We are higher than these unworthy ones, much higher than any life in the universe.»

I don't understand. Who do you mean when you talk about «us»?

«People of Pantora. »

A woman answered me.

«Once upon a time, we were also humans, or rather the ancient founders of the Pantora colony. They fled from war, a symptom of human stupidity, cruelty, the old nature and, contrary to its limitations, built a new nature where there was nothing but bare stones and hurricanes sweeping away mountains. My people survived in terrible conditions, survived and returned to the stars stronger, united, honest than any humans, ideal, pure, truthful in their word and fair, but they... they did not change. We shouldn’t have hoped that humans would get better, they didn’t, they just continued to be those nonentities who pretend to be peace-loving, but themselves allow bloodshed on an unprecedented scale. Then, seeing the galaxy, their life, their depravity before themselves, we decided to build a great order and spread it throughout the universe..., but we failed.»

Even though her words remained a strange stream of words for me, I still wanted to know what she really wanted, what she was so striving for that she was ready to use my body for her own purpose. What is the great order?

Her answer was terrifying.

«Chaos is life, and order is death. We sought to build a great order, simply put kill all life in the universe, forever reversing the suffering of all life itself. All the people of Pantora consider it a just goal in our long existence, the meaning of our lives, to be part of a society that will once and for all destroy the old nature of life and loosen its grip.»