Notmybodynotmybodynotminenotminenot—

A gentle feeling flowed through me, relaxing me. I swallowed, looking up as Val—Lance, I mean—stood, shifting to move away.

“I could tell just from looking at her that her soul fits perfectly within her form,” Lance said casually, “Diving into her soul-space only confirmed it. You have nothing to fear, your majesty. She’s still your daughter.”

“Were you able to find anything about her memories? Do you know if they will come back?”

Lance hesitated, shaking his head, “No, unfortunately whatever ritual she messed up has permanently erased her memories. While there are still bits and pieces, she will not regain any memories beyond those she already has.”

The king didn’t look pleased, “She didn’t know my name.”

Lance bowed his head, “I apologize. If you would like, I could visit her frequently to attempt to heal the damages she’s done to her soul. That might help her regain her memories.”

Oh. That was the thing he asked me to do, right? That he would look at the connection between my soul and Percy’s body?

I looked at the king. He ran a hand through his reddish-translucent hair, looking at me.

“Very well,” The king agreed with a sigh, “Any time after the sun sets would work, as she has a lot to learn if she is to pass the entrance exam.”

Why would he say that? … Oh! Right. Valentine was a professor there! Or, well… was he? He didn’t seem to do much teaching. Then again the Academy arc was mostly just glossed-over classes and a lot of sex with many different people.

The book was an erotica, not a fantasy romance.

Before I was really able to focus on the conversation, I found myself being led away, stumbling and once more grabbing onto my new father.

Who couldn’t know my past or he’d kill me.

Yay.

The king pardoned himself once we walked out of the room, and I walked to the library. Walking in, I glanced around.

There was still a mess, but now there was some average-looking-guy looking harassed running around.

“An aide?” I asked.

“Yes, I figured your advice was good,” Lucius said.

He was at a table, books stacked taller than him on both sides of the table on his end. There was a stack of loose paper, and a quill.

I hummed as I walked forward, slumping into the chair across from him, “It is. The library doesn’t look like a page dump anymore.”

“Right,” Lucius said, not looking as insulted as I’d expected him to.

I suppose in the book he was a mostly mellow guy, just a bit overworked. He adored the stress relief Aph gave him, though he didn’t actually fuck her until after her… what, third year of the Academy? Mostly she was just a few moments of reprieve from his duties each week.

“To start, you will have to read through all of these texts before our next lesson.”

I looked at the books, “Dude our next lesson is tomorrow, isn’t it?”

“Yes.”

I hummed, shrugging as I stood up, getting on the table and reaching up to pick up a book, looking at the cover, “Can I even read?” I opened the book, looking at the foreign scribbles, “Nope. Wow. I’m illiterate. How shameful.”

I wasn’t very surprised. I hopped off the table, slumping back into my chair. Lucius looked embarrassed and resigned.

“So. What do these squiggles sound like?” I asked, gesturing at the written language.

The lessons lasted all day, me also having to be taught their numerical system. Lucius and I ate together, both awkwardly avoiding looking or speaking to each other as we huddled into our solace: books.

Not… not that I could read them all-too-well, yet. It was like the entire language was written in American medical shorthand. The spellings were atrocious and very hard to read.

By the end of the day I could read, though I couldn’t write at all, still. I spent the night going through the pile of books I was given.

I couldn’t get beyond five books before I was pulled from the library to go to the room connected to my bedroom. Office? My office?

Valentine looked up as I walked in, standing up. He was at a table, notes everywhere. Pulling off his reading glasses, he threw them onto the table as he walked toward me.

“Hey,” I greeted, watching as he walked passed me, shut the door behind me, and did something, a magical circle glowing as weird lines engulfed the entire room.

I didn’t mind him ignoring me as he set things up, not commenting at the lines of magic that held me to one place. It was commonly written whenever he was around that he “gets lost in preparations”. Like a doctor, Valentine was very clinical, eyes sharp, mind calculating magic, and ears deaf to anything not his own thoughts.

After several moments where Val walked around, traced circles and lines in chalk, and did other magical prep, he stood in one place, staring blankly ahead. Glancing around, almost looking confused, his eyes met mine.

“Ah, hello,” I greeted again.

Val hesitated, “Hello. Apologies, I—“

“Get lost in prep work?” I finished, amused.

Val didn’t grow red like I expected him to, eyes focused on mine for a long moment. Walking up, I had to tilt my head back to continue looking at him as he got close. His hand reached out the moment I went to look away, forcing me to look up at him.

“I would really like to know where you get your information from,” Val breathed, tone low as his eyes glittered in interest.

I didn’t respond, just looking at him, smile not fading. After a moment, it grew into a sad one as I looked up at a character I had so much hope for, so much faith in. Someone I was so confident was a great one for millions of words. Someone I held hope for for so long. If only he weren’t naive, he would make such a great character. It really hurt that he was made of cardboard.

“You look sad.”

Val’s gaze was intent on mine. My smile increased.

“Yeah,” I agreed.

This story originates from Royal Road. Ensure the author gets the support they deserve by reading it there.

The silence was much less, Val’s expression shifting.

“For considering me an ally, you keep a lot of secrets. Not even going to tell me your woes?”

I thought about it. How would I even phrase it in a way he would understand?

“It’s just difficult to explain,” I explained.

I felt heat rise to my cheeks, but I couldn’t look away no matter how hard I tried.

“I wouldn’t mind waiting for an answer,” Val murmured, a slight frown coming across his expression.

What was a good comparison to explain that while everyone else in this world felt dynamic, he felt static? That while everyone felt like they’ve lived, he just felt like cardboard?

…

Oh!

“You’re like a portrait when everyone else is a living, breathing person,” I began, feeling a bit awkward as my cheeks burned, “And it makes me really sad, because you’re an amazing person who has great potential, but… but portraits don’t move. They don’t change. It’s… it’s like… your personality is flat. Your actions and demeanor don’t match you at all. It’s like you only exist to fulfill a purpose, instead of existing of your own will.”

I shook my head, not liking the way I said it. I should have just called him basic.

“How perceptive,” Val mused, hand dropping to his side.

I looked up, “Huh?” What does that mean?

Val stared at me for a long moment. He looked thoughtful, then his expression shifted.

“It’s an interesting view of people. I can understand why it would be difficult to explain such an elusive concept.”

Not really. Cardboard just doesn’t exist in this world, and treating people like characters was a bit of a harsh thing to say. Telling someone they’re a plot device that holds no meaning was too mean. This world didn’t even recognize dimensions, so calling someone two dimensional would require explaining all other dimensions.

It was much better just to say he’s basic without a personality.

“Irregardless,” Val muttered, reaching out with a different intent, entire being radiating danger as his hand laid on my neck, eyes focused on mine, “Let us begin.”

The feeling that pulsed through me was highly distressing, entire body feeling unstable and odd. I suddenly felt like Jello, my heart twisting in the opposite direction of my existence.

Several hours must have passed with me struggling to refrain from crying out, unable to look away from the torturous oceans that his eyes became to me even if I wanted to.

When he was finished, his magic released me, and I fell. I was covered in sweat, entire body shaking as I gasped for air.

I’d planned to go back to the library to continue studying, but I couldn’t even lift my head.

Despite that, I listened intently, knowing Val always seemed disappointed if his subjects couldn’t reply after whatever experiments he’d done to them.

“It’s fascinating, your soul not only perfectly meshes within the body, but there’s no trace of another soul ever having resided in the body at all! Maybe my first assumption was wrong, and you truly are Persephone Esmer-Gold. What do you think? Do you simply have body dysmorphia? Oh.”

Professor Lance turned, the sparkles in his eyes growing dim at the sight of Aphrodite’s collapsed form. Reaching up, he ran a delicate hand through his hair. Ah, that was right. None of his subjects could respond so soon after his experiments finished.

I shook my head with great effort, still on my hands and knees, sweat dripping from me, “No,” I said, entire body straining with the effort of speaking, “I’m definitely not Persephone. I don’t know much about her at all. I have a different name. Memories of my own life.”

My entire form was shaking. I tried getting up, only to collapse, whimpering at the feelings still ghosting along me. Why did it have to feel so weird and invasive?

“Impressive,” Val breathed, “No one’s ever responded after such a thorough observation before.”

A single huff of mirth escaped me at the words. I tried again to get up, struggling fiercely. I couldn’t even get back to my old position, arms giving out.

Useless.

Annoyance filled me, and I shoved myself to my feet, staggering back for a moment. My entire body wanted to reject the effort, but I fought through the odd and foreign feelings.

Exhaustion weighed me down, but I rejected its’ call. Finally, I managed to stand up.

Third time’s the charm.

Looking up, I saw Val was looking at me a bit weirdly.

“W-wassup?” I managed breathily, wandering to a chair and slumping into it.

I immediately regretted the decision, knowing I wasn’t going to be able to get back up for a while.

Val laughed almost giddily as he moved quickly, sliding into the seat across from me. His gaze made me feel dizzy. I looked away, only looking back when the sound of writing reached my ears.

The quill scratched across the paper, the quick writing illegible to someone so unused to the script.

“Apologies for my excitable behavior,” Val mentioned offhandedly as he wrote, eyes not leaving the paper.

I looked back to the paper.

“You’re quite the interesting su—ally,” Val mentioned.

Good to know I was a good test subject, I supposed. I would be worried about that if I’d thought him anything except harmless.

Val was the equivalent of an excitable puppy in a labcoat when it came to everything soul or necromancy-related. I equated him to a mad scientist. Sure, his deeds were evil, but he really, genuinely meant no harm. At least that’s how he came across as in the novel.

Hence me calling him naive and innocent even though he’s killed a few hundred people during his research by the time he was introduced in the second or third book.

Val shifted the paper he was writing on to the side with one hand, his other hand continuing to write on the new page.

I watched him write for a long time. I tried not making too much noise, knowing he didn’t appreciate it.

Aphrodite found her mouth bound by magic, wrists being bound as well. Professor Lance wrote quickly on several pages, each one seeming to fly to the side once he reached its’ end, his hair fluttering in the light of the magelight as he focused on his work.

“Apologies, your highness,” Professor Lance said, not glancing over at her wet and writhing form, “I know you must be in pain, however I cannot lose my focus. I will release you once I am done.”

While Aph seemed to enjoy being tied up, I really, really would rather not be tied up. There was nothing sexual nor romantic about the way the world spun around me. I wasn’t nauseous, though. It felt like gravity would suddenly flip and I would fly straight up.

…

Maybe being tied up would feel better. I’d feel more connected to the ground. I would be terrified to feel like this if I were outside.

“Most individuals are passed out, at this time. It is impressive that you’ve managed to stay awake,” Val mentioned, glancing up. The world twisted as his eyes met mine.

I groaned quietly, looking away from the blue eyes that made it feel like I’d fly straight up and burn in the atmosphere. My hand covered my eyes for a moment.

“I would love to sleep. It feels like gravity doesn’t exist,” I complained.

“Grahv-vi-tty?”

“Yeah,” I reached out, picking a rose from the vase that was on the table and held it above the ground. It dropped, “That.”

Val hummed, “Interesting. Yes, though your connection with the body you currently reside in is quite strong, for a while it might feel like you could float away.”

Floating did not sound violent enough for what it felt like would happen.

It felt like my feet would be torn from the ground and I would be spun violently as I was rocketed up and away from the planet.

If there weren’t a ceiling above me, I would be outright panicking. Luckily, all that would happen if gravity suddenly decided “nah, not today, fam,” would be me hitting the ceiling.

Slowly, over the course of what had to have been hours, the feeling vanished, and I sat up carefully. Though a long time must have passed, Val was still there. He glanced at something in his lap as I sat up, writing down more stuff, though the sounds of him writing had long-since faded.

If I stood up, would the sound of my heels on the tile aggravate him? If I fell to the ground now, getting up would be difficult. Before I could find out, Val stopped.

I stood up, stumbling. I ran into Val’s foot, which hadn’t been in the way moments prior, and tripped. I collapsed to the floor, whining out wordlessly as I gave up for a moment, head resting against the cool tile.

I couldn’t just stay here, sadly.

A few seconds later I sighed, pushing myself to my feet. My arms shook a lot less, and it was easier to get up the second time than it was the first.

Stumbling backward, I ended up slammed against a wall, gravity and balance alike working against me.

“Careful,” Val said quietly.

I opened my eyes, unsure when I closed them, seeing him quite close. The sight of his gaze made me very unsure about my sense of balance. I didn’t bother trying to stand up straight, bracing myself against the wall. The wall could be my crutch.

Now that all the spinning and the fear was over, I was exhausted. My eyelids were heavy, slowly sliding shut no matter how hard I tried to fight the feeling.

I wonder how long it would take for me to break you.