Valentine’s words were clipped and sharp, “How long have you known the Demon King was after you?”

My lips were pulled back into my mouth. Damn. Why didn’t the distraction last? I glanced away, entire expression growing red.

How long…

Practically the moment we met, right? It was, what, our third interaction? Forth?

When Valentine had punched me in the face. Or, well, I suppose I didn’t technically know until Kairos told me like a week ago, right?

… Yeah.

A week sounded much better than “since we met”.

“A few days,” I shortened, looking back to Valentine, “Like day before yesterday. Or the day before that. Sometime around there.”

I nodded. Yeah. That sounded like I actually saw him as an ally and told him promptly! Ignoring that I had seen him as an ally until recent actions reminded me he wasn’t.

“The only time you met the Demon King was when he attacked Kairos,” Valentine rejected, glaring at me as he saw through my lie.

I opened my mouth, then closed it, looking away.

“Well, I suppose I knew he might kill me before then, but I was only definitely sure like… yesterday.”

Speaking of yesterday, where was Kairos? He’d been absent lately. It worried me. He said he’d set things up on this end, did he need to go somewhere? He didn’t tell me last time he vanished, I guess, but…

Blood sprayed up. Glowing red eyes turned, staring at me. Kai’s blood covered the Demon King’s face, dripping down to the ground.

I blinked the thought away, staring at the line of beds stretching out. Val only confessed today and hasn’t left me since he did, so Kai should still be safe from him. So where did he go?

“How did you manage to anger him? I thought he fancied you,” Valentine spoke, mostly to himself.

I sighed. I did ask for the subject change, I suppose. This was my fault. I should have known he wouldn’t just be like “cool, I’ll keep that in mind, wow how distracted I am, let’s talk about other things”. It was disappointing he wasn’t, though.

“Well he fancied Persephone, and I’m not her. Go figure he’d be furious when he found out. He said he was going to check whether she was in my body, and switch us back if that was the case. I’m pretty sure I’m dead, since Kairos said that Persephone died before I entered her body, not during or after.”

Valentine thought. After a long moment, he nodded. His arms reached out, turning me around. Soon my dress was tied, much to my own celebrations.

The purple-haired man spoke casually, “As you have lost Herald’s trust—“ I had his trust to lose? Whoa. “—we cannot go to the soulmancy room. This will hurt as much as last time. Try to refrain from punching me in the face, this time.”

Oh, yeah. I did do that, didn’t I? I sighed heavily. At least I was warned this time.

Valentine had shifted once he’d finished speaking, dragging me to an area only a few feet away. His magic wrapped around me, keeping me in place.

It was really hard to bring myself to meet his gaze. The pain I went through was as bad as last time, he was absolutely right.

Several tens of thousands of seconds later, I collapsed to the ground.

“Interesting,” Valentine mused aloud as he turned.

The sound of his footsteps were loud in the deafening silence of the room. A few moments later, the sound of the infirmary doors opening and shutting reached my ears.

I chuckled half-hysterically. I remained stuck on the ground, though I was awake. Heartless bastard. Maybe I would toy with his emotions before ripping his throat out. Fucking asshole.

Unlike last time, my anger didn’t rise up enough. I couldn’t get up. Tears burned in my eyes. For the first time since I’d arrived, I felt alone. My heart ached and twisted.

Helpless.

I worked toward moving. My fingers twitched and shifted. I took deep breaths, trying to keep calm. I spent hours trying to get up, ignoring my own tears.

The sun rose as I managed to get to my knees, unable to look up when the door opened.

“I had been informed that you were typically fine after soulmancy sessions,” Herald mentioned as his magic reached out.

I found myself pulled to my feet. I tried my hardest to remain standing when his magic left.

My hands were unable to dart up in time as my body slumped back to the ground, undoing all of my progress.

“Whatever he did… was much worse… than…” I managed.

My arms shook with the effort of getting up.

“Here I figured I would administer your exams, today,” Herald sighed out.

His legs appeared in my vision, polished leather shoes mocking me. I reached out, shaking hand just barely able to cling to him.

“I’ll do it,” I said.

“You can’t even stand!” Herald rejected incredulously.

“Standing is for losers,” I disagreed, trying again.

Using Herald, I managed to get to my feet. My body was shaking. It wasn’t like I was physically exhausted, I had just woken up about eight hours prior.

“See? I’m fine,” I murmured into Herald’s chest, my arms wrapped around him.

“Do you know what method he used?”

“No, but I think it was the soul-scouring one, because Jesus fucking Christ,” I managed.

Oh~ what a sweet black blazer my crutch had. Oh what brilliant green clothing that matched his wonderful green hair. The sun shone brightly into the infirmary.

Sadly, my crutch seemed to have a mind of its own, trying to move away. I whined out, clinging to the only thing keeping me standing.

The crutch scoffed, his tone derisive, “You would be unable to speak, let alone stand so soon after.”

“Soon? It’s been hours,” I whined, “I’ve been on the cold floor tryna get up since like midnight! If you doubt me call that asshole here. He told me not to punch him in the face this time but fuck that, he deserves it. I should fucking break his heart before kicking his ass. I bet seeing him cry would make my day.”

Herald sighed, reaching up and shoving me off of him. His hands stayed on my shoulders, allowing me that one kindness.

When I regained my balance, he released me.

His pink eyes were like cherry blossoms in the sunlight, his vibrant dark green hair contrasting perfectly. His stunning beauty was only increased in the sunlight.

If his face wasn’t twisted in annoyance, maybe I would consider him the most beautiful of my favorites.

That was a lie. I knew he was top three. The Fae King was most beautiful at night, which I’ve never seen, and the Demon King was beautiful, but also I could only remember his face soaked in blood.

So that meant that Silas, he, and Jester were the top three most beautiful men I’d ever seen seen. Ah, Jester~. I wonder if I’d ever get to see him again. He was quite the special character, so I really might not.

“I would not recommend physically assaulting a professor if you plan to be a student here.”

I gave Herald a dry look, “He assaulted me, then tortured me and left me collapsed on the cold ass ground for several hours. I deserve the free pass.”

Herald sighed, calling for Professor Lance to head to the infirmary. The moment the spell ended, he regarded me.

“I highly doubt that he will corroborate your story. As you are not a student here, your claims of assault and torture are a matter of needing someone who bore witness to it.”

I frowned, not noticing the sound of the door opening.

“I’m not trying to put in an official complaint. I’m asking you to conveniently close your eyes at the same time my fist meets Lance’s face. Because he deserves it.”

“I do not believe I do,” Valentine called out, “Why was I called here?”

“Dude what did you do to me? It was that soul-poking torture method you mentioned in that one class, right?” I asked, taking two careful steps to the side to see Valentine.

Unlike Herald, who’s beauty worked well with the warm sunlight, Valentine’s cool-toned color scheme only made his beauty diminish in the sunlight. Not that I was all-too-focused on how attractive the bastard was.

“Also you fucking left me on the ground! For several hours! Are you saying you don’t deserve to be punched in the face?”

“As I am the only reason you are still alive and breathing, I would not say so, no,” Valentine refused coolly as he stopped conveniently far enough away that Herald could stop me if I went to punch him.

I sighed heavily, crossing my arms. I agreed, but if I backed down, it would make me as bad as Aph. I told her that she needed to step on throats to tame assholes, and I needed to take my own advice.

I would take my own advice.

My hostile green gaze met his cold blue one. I shifted my feet on the cold tile. I almost couldn’t feel it, entire body soaked in cold.

“If you’re going to use that as an excuse to be an asshole to me, I could just undo what you’ve done,” I refused flatly, putting all my weight on one leg, “Or you could just stop saving my life. This isn’t an “I should be grateful” moment, this is a “you kept me alive, so now you have to deal with me” moment.”

Quoting internet memes always worked. Then I remembered we were in the medieval times, and that even implying any sort of self-harm was seen as taboo. As shown by the two very grave expressions shown my way.

I sighed. I could never win, could I?

“Regardless,” I said in an attempt to salvage the conversation, shaking my head, “What was the soulmancy thing you did to me earlier? Also do either of you know where Kai went?”

“The servant that slit my throat was sent back to the castle,” Herald said.

Dread filled me. My crossed arms fell, and I looked at Herald. I couldn’t prevent the hurt and lost expression that forced itself on my face.

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“But I need him,” I said quietly.

I’d never considered Valentine an ally, but Kairos?

Kairos was definitely an ally. Regardless if the reason was that he found my body attractive, he clung to my side like glue. While he had more to gain from ousting me, he kept my secret. Not to mention even if he weren’t my ally, I was his.

“I am certain you will fare well without servants,” Herald dismissed.

My expression broke even more. Oh. Oh.

Alone.

Again.

Again.

A feeling I should be very used to by now felt foreign. It hurt, my entire body aching and my heart feeling like it’d been stabbed.

I didn’t expect the sudden influx of emotions, the numbness I’d been expecting not there.

A feeling rose in my throat. I found myself falling to my hands and knees, coughing and gagging. I expected vomit to escape my lips as Herald took a step back, but the only thing I threw up was blood as tears streamed down my face.

Fuck, what?

Even more pain stabbed at my heart. I gasped for air, reaching up and holding my chest.

“Shit!” Herald hissed, darting forward.

His hand landed on my back, and the pain in my chest became frigid. The coldness numbed the feeling.

More blood was thrown up, pooling on the stone tile.

“Lance, what are you doing! Help her!”

Spurred into movement, soon the pain vanished entirely as Valentine’s magic reached out.

“You care about that man that much?” Valentine asked, sounding hurt.

“What… what…?”

I tried asking what was going on. What happened. My world spun too quickly for me to get the words out, though. My head bowed as burning hot tears fell from my eyes. I closed my eyes after I saw my hair fall into my blood.

“Ugh.”

I fell into my puddle of saliva and blood, exhaustion weighing me down. I was sick of being tired, though. Sick of being in an infirmary. Sick of being around Valentine. Sick of this world, and this weak ass body.

So I remained awake. I pushed myself to my feet. I staggered away from Valentine.

I only noticed I couldn’t hear anything when I saw Herald’s mouth moving without any sound coming out. My vision was reddish black on the edges.

“What’s going on?” I asked.

I didn’t hear my own voice, though. Not that it was my voice. The world grew darker at my own thoughts.

I gave Herald a lost look, tears streaming down my face.

What was happening? I just took an emotional blow! At most I should’ve cried, not thrown up blood!

I can’t cry in front of others. It’s weakness.

I ignored the bitter thoughts, more tears streaming down my face. Why was this happening? What could I do to prevent this from happening again?

Reaching up, I wiped at my eyes. My hand came back red. Was I crying blood?

I sniffled, swallowing thickly. This was how it always was, this was how it would always be. I shouldn’t be sad.

I kept him alive. I revived him. That’s all that mattered. Now, I doubted he would take Aphrodite. That means that he was safe in the potentially upcoming war.

My ragged breathing eased, my tears stopping. A healing circle appeared, not my own. I found my vision and hearing restored.

Looking up, I saw a healer. They were in blood-stained white robes, their hair white despite their youthful appearance. Their eyes were blue.

Star? … No, Star was a mage affiliated with the Mage’s Tower. They wore robes, yes, but they were a vibrant blue. This was definitely a healer.

“Who…” I managed.

I couldn’t muster up the willpower to speak beyond that. What was the point in knowing someone’s name? I sighed.

Maybe I should just go mute. Talk to no one and do nothing. Then the world and all the people I love would end.

…

I sighed again, feeling very burdened. Did it even matter? How was I supposed to stop the end of the world? What was I supposed to do?

“I am Lazarus,” The man introduced, “I’m the resident healer for the Academy. We’ve met before, but you were unconscious.”

That’s hardly meeting someone, I mused. Soon, the light green magical circle faded. I looked around.

Valentine looked heartbroken. Herald looked exhausted. Swallowing again, I reached up, wiping at my mouth.

Well, whatever. I wasn’t injured anymore. We should get back to the point.

“So what was the soulmancy thing you used on me again, Lance?” I asked, turning to him.

Valentine didn’t react to my words, staring blankly ahead. Both men were leaning against beds.

I sighed, turning to Herald, “Anyway, I feel fine now. Exam?”

Herald stared at me for a long time. His exhaustion seemed to increase for a moment, and he took a deep breath, standing up.

“Sure!” His voice was extremely chipper, “Let’s do the written exam first. Come on, this way. Do keep up!”

Lazarus’s expression twisted, looking pained, “No, wait—“

“Thanks bye!” I interrupted, chasing after the speed-walking man.

Lazarus made a noise of complaint, then sighed, giving up.

I skipped next to him, looking up at his expression. Despite his cheery tone, he looked serious. His green hair was in a low pony-tail, pink eyes focused straight ahead. His lips were pursed.

I looked down at my hands, flipping them after a moment.

My arms and legs were dusted a light red. Was I sweating blood before I was healed, too?

“I hope you don’t pass,” Herald muttered to himself.

I glanced up curiously to see that he was looking down at me from the corner of his eyes.

“You have been nothing but trouble since the moment you’ve arrived.”

I hummed. That was kind of true, but also wholly unfair. I didn’t mean to be trouble.

“Being trapped somewhere and having all of my supports taken away from me, doesn’t it make sense I’m acting out?”

Herald gave me a stern look.

I continued at his look, hands raising in surrender.

“I really don’t plan to be an agent of chaos, here! I plan to be a peace-keeper. Probably won’t even stay past the first or second year before vanishing into the wilds somewhere to fight monsters and live a nice life.”

Herald gave me a long searching stare before speaking, “You never told me what your goal was, just that you had one.”

“Mhm,” I agreed easily, “Why would I tell you my goals? I mean I know you’d agree with them, but you doubt everything I say. At best you’d be a burden.”

“At best I would help you with them,” Herald muttered with a sigh, “Anything to keep you from becoming my burden.”

I chuckled, “Yeah, taking care of people sucks. You chose the wrong career path if you’re this stressed over some stranger.”

Herald remained silent as we continued walking. Soon, I was taken into a pretty plain room. It had a single desk with two chairs. On the desk was a stack of papers and a quill.

“Have a seat. Feel free to start whenever. You have an hour.”

I did as asked, looking through the written exam. Picking up the self-inking quill, I started writing. A lot of the choices were easy one-word or one-sentence answers about the history of the world.

There were several math questions, and various basic questions about monsters and different species.

It even mentioned the Fae. Most of my answers for those were “Avoid them at all costs. If not possible, kindly explain that as you do not know their laws you do not wish to speak with them, then avoid them at all costs.”

My answer for the dragon sector was much, much different. “Don’t piss them off. If you do, throw expensive or otherwise beautiful or shiny resources at them until they calm down.”

From what I knew of dragons in the novel, they were just werepeople with anger issues. So long as you didn’t try to piss them off, they were cool headed and level individuals.

After a while, I got to a weird sort of personality test part. It was the last few pages. I stared at them for a long moment.

What would I do, if I encountered something? Humming, I glanced at the last three pages, front and back.

What a weird personality test.

If I met a dragon, I would praise the ground it walked on and ask to touch its scales.

If I met a Fae, if it was the Fae King I would give basic small-talk so as to not accidentally make the Silver Kingdom enemies with the Fae. If it wasn’t the Fae King, I would not speak to nor interact with it.

If I met a feral werewolf, I would treat it like a dog—No, wait, dogs didn’t exist in this world. If I met a feral werewolf, I would treat it like a regular wolf.

If I met a Lich, I would ask if it was a god, because one of the gods is definitely masquerading as a Lich, I’m like very confident in that.

If I met a necromancer, I would definitely blackmail them into becoming my ally, or at the very least prevent them from bringing me harm. No, wait, wasn’t there laws in place for what to do if you found a necromancer?

Well I didn’t know them.

If I met an Elemental I’d say hi, because aren’t I like a distant relative of the elementals? My father is an elemental who decided to become mortal out of love, isn’t he? Why else would his hair and eyes change colors?

I looked at the next question. It was the same one as the one before, just changing the elements. I repeated my answer five times before moving to the last page of questions.

If you were falsely accused of something severe that could kill you, what would you do?

Make fun of it by agreeing with whatever I was accused of. If I got executed because an idiot believed a rumor then may my blood be spilled with a curse on my tongue and a blight cast upon the idiot. May the oblivious be cursed with intellect.

The last question was a bit of a difficult one.

I stared at it for a long time, rereading it over and over.

What would you do if you were deep into enemy territory, surrounded by danger, without any allies by your side and no way to escape?

I already was. What was I doing? Aside from dying?

“Time is up,” Herald said after a moment, “As you are on the last question, a verbal response is allowed.”

“I’ll just leave it blank,” I refused, handing Herald the papers.

He flipped through them until he got to the last page, staring at it.

“Are you certain? You are one answer away from passing,” Herald said, looking up at me.

I stared at him with a frown, “How am I supposed to answer that? The same question was asked during the part that wasn’t a personality test. I’ll just use that as my answer. Take stock of surroundings, think of ways to get to safety, don’t panic, etcetera.”

Herald sighed, “It isn’t a personality test, but an indicator used to determine whether you are eligible to be a student here at the Academy. Not that you have ever experienced it, but attempting to lie during that part of the exam results in the paper burning and an automatically failing grade. Only individuals we are certain won’t become evil individuals in the future are allowed entry into this prestigious school of magic. If you do not answer the question, you will not pass.”

I frowned, then I shrugged, “Okay, then. You already asked after my goal, I guess I can tell you it.”

“That isn’t the question,” Herald rejected, tossing all the papers aside from the last one to the side. His legs were crossed, and he was staring at me intently.

I shrugged, standing up, “Yes it is. Where do you think I am, Doom Herald? I woke up in a body not my own and was told that if anyone found out who I was, I would be killed. Then I was confronted by Lance and taken advantage of due to my own unique circumstance.”

I crossed my arms, staring at Herald.

“You already know what I would do, because I’m currently doing it.”

Herald hesitated, then sighed, glancing at the paper and re-reading the question for a moment.

His eyes met mine again, “Fine. Tell me of your experiences in this world, and tell me what your goal is.”

I shook my head, dropping my arms. As I spoke, I gestured around aimlessly with my arms.

“Whatever. When I first arrived I didn’t realize it and punched Aph and the king in the face. After I realized where I was, I panicked and accidentally blackmailed my servant, Kai. It didn’t work, but he was smart enough to realize I wasn’t who I said I was after I panicked, so he decided to help.”

I shrugged, walking toward the door.

“After that I really, desperately needed something to focus on, so I gave myself a goal. This world is fated to be destroyed in a war that involves the other realms,” I explained, spinning and walking the other way.

The plain room’s wooden floors passed by as I stared at them.

“I plan to stop it. Or, well, I’m not that confident. I plan to save the lives of ten people, and hopefully stay alive myself.”

My legs moved, spinning me once more as I continued walking.

“So far, the goal has gone pretty well. I’ve blackmailed or made deals with several people to try and put myself on even footing with everyone else, and I am currently here, attempting to gain information on what caused the war, so that I can better prevent it.”

My hands reached up, running through my hair.

“So far I have definitely saved one person’s life, and two of the ten make it to the end of the apocalypse anyway, because they’re immortal. I have seven people left to save. If the war doesn’t look like it will happen, however, which I will probably know within the next two years, I will run. And hide. And live my life as quietly as I can as some nameless adventurer, because unlike my world, this one is rife with danger.”

I laughed, slightly hysterically. I turned to continue my trek.

“I can only hope I live long enough to enjoy whatever life I’ll have remaining, because at this point my only other options are finding literal gods and begging them for transport elsewhere or killing myself before someone manages to otherwise hurt my soul.”

I groaned, stopping. My hands clung to my strands of hair.

“Which is very hard, because I now puke blood every time I’m even slightly sad, and the Demon King is coming to fucking kill me whenever he has spare time, and for some reason I panic every time Kai is gone because he’s the first person I met in this stupid fucking world and I was dumb enough to grow attached to someone who probably is just using me and agh.” I collapsed to my knees at the end of my rant.

I panted, realizing I’d been pacing, hands tangled into my hair. Oh. Oops. I just trauma-dumped on a relative stranger. Looking around, I noted I was on the ground. Ah.

Right.

Standing up, I cleared my throat awkwardly, brushing myself off and fixing my hair. Anyway.

“So, in short, my answer is panic and die,” I responded coolly, sliding back into my seat.