I had been in an accident before. Working on farm as a shepherd it’s only a matter of time really before you roll a bike, fall off a horse or get hit by animal big enough to cause you damage. It is why Health and Safety promote wearing a helmet as much as they do, as statistically it is going to happen and when it does you want to protect your head more than anything. And I believe it now especially with everything that I am seeing now. A couple minutes ago I was driving my bike down the side of a hill with my 5 dogs Brandy, Scotch, Rum, Gin and Ale (I had thought naming them after drinks was funny the first couple times and after that I stuck to my theme) on the back coming back from mustering sheep and then there was an explosive sound, which in hindsight I thought sounded like a sonic boom from a jet, and a massive black sphere appeared in front of me which I couldn’t avoid despite slamming on the breaks of the bike. Skidding on the wet and muddy grass I went straight through the black sphere and could see nothing for the next several seconds before coming to a halt parked up in amongst some giant trees. And these were GIANT trees. At best guess they would have to be at least 2-3 meters across. Which was incredibly alarming as where I worked was all grass, no trees. It was pasture for feeding livestock. So as I looked around widely, my heart beating rapidly in my chest my first thought was this:

“I’ve crashed the bike and knocked myself the fuck out”

My brain started going into overdrive. “Ive crashed the bike, knocked myself out and I am unconscious or hallucinating” I thought starting to panic, the bike idling underneath me. “That is about the only thing that explains all this” My eyes rapidly scanning side to side trying to understand what I was seeing …

“WOOF”!

I just about left orbit with how hard I leapt in my seat from fright. I’d completely forgotten the dogs where with me. Wait, the dogs where with me? Looking to my sides I counted all 5 working dogs were with me, Scotch and Brandy the black and tan huntaways breed to bark, and Ale, Rum and Gin the black and white Heading dogs born to chase. Scotch and Gin where happily sitting on the bike still mouths wide open, tongues lolling out the side of their mouths while June and Rose were standing next to me on my left looking up at me. Ale being the classic boy that he is already had one leg in the air and was peeing on a tree. That’s the reason the rest of the team was girls, they don’t pee on your stuff when you’re not watching them. I stared down at Brandy and Rum blankly. How and why are they here in my unconscious fever dream? How did Scotch nearly blow out my ear drums with her bark? That should not be possible while out cold. Well the loud bark part is, Scotch is a loud girl. “I am thinking surprisingly clearly for being out cold” I thought. “Even my dreams are not this clear”. My brows furrowed on my head as I stared the dogs, the trees and the bike under me, for which I idly turned the key off. None of this was making sense.

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I mean the black hole I drove into could be written off as seeing things while tired but that doesn’t explain how I ended up in a forest? Being knocked out and dreaming would explain that but then how are the dogs and bike here with me unharmed? “Aha! My phone” I thought triumphantly. “That will show me where I am” as I rapidly dug into my chest pocket for my smartphone. Bringing it out I gave the screen a tap and hit the maps app and watched it load. The blue dot loaded up on a grey screen. Staring at it I looked at the top right corner and saw that there was no bars showing for reception. “Well that’s not good” I thought to myself.

“Catapie”

At that sound all the dogs, and myself, looked up in reflex into one of the trees surrounding us and there looking back down on us from a branch was a great big green caterpillar. And I mean BIG. “Look at that thing” I thought to myself mouth slightly ajar. “Its got to be nearly a foot high!”. That caterpillar had a big red t-bar on its head and yellow circles going down its body. It reared up onto its tail and its head turned between the dogs and I on the ground. “Caterpie”!

Now, I know I am not the smartest man in the world but even I could figure this one out. That there is a pokemon, and I am most definitely hallucinating.