Chapter 16 - Confession
Lilly had another dream. This time, her parents were around her, surrounding her with their comforting presence. She was so happy; they weren't dead after all, and had finally come back to her. And they were running the bakery together with Gramps, just like in the old days.
It's so easy to ignore contradictions or things that don't make sense in dreams, but maybe that's the only way we can feel the joy our minds want us to feel in moments like these.
The dream continued for a long and short time, but then the ever-present amulet started glowing again. And Lilly was suddenly awake inside her dream, reminded of the last time this happened. 'Oh, of course, it's a dream...' she realized with a mix of disappointment and gratitude. This realization allowed her to fully appreciate the moment, to soak in every detail of their presence.
Her mother told her something about taking out the plate of bread from the oven, something completely unimportant, but she still listened intently just to hear her voice. The red hair they shared looked so much better on her mother, Lilly thought, but she didn't mind one bit.
But then her mother asked why the amulet was glowing, and that seemed like a strange thing to ask, but Lilly still briefly explained about the amulet. 'She’s just a figment of my imagination, she’ll understand,' Lilly thought. However, her mother's expression turned serious.
"Have you tried burning it, Lilly?" she said, looking the way she did when Lilly did something she shouldn't have.
'Burning it? Why would I?' Lilly thought, and she found the conversation a bit strange now.
"No, Mom, why would I burn the amulet?" she asked, trying to make sense of her mother's words.
Her mother, still with a serious face, said, "You should try it once you're gone, Lilly. The Vermilion Flame might be here again."
'The Vermilion Flame? Where is that coming from? And once I'm gone, like out of the dream?' Lilly found it harder and harder to follow this dream, and she was starting to think it might be something else now.
“Okay, Mom, I’ll give it a try,” Lilly replied, embracing her mother tightly. “I love you, Mom!”
“I love you too, Lilly! And I miss you.”
“... This isn’t just a dream, is it, Mom? You’re not making sense.”
“Does it really matter, Lilly?” her mother countered softly.
“Of course, it matters! What else could this be?” Lilly asked, pulling back from the hug to look directly into her mother's eyes.
“This is a dream, Lilly. But how much do you really know about dreams? About souls?”
Lilly felt a wave of emotion wash over her. “But… So, this is really you, Mom?” she asked, her voice trembling.
“Who knows?” She said with a clever smile. “You shouldn’t let your dreams trick you Lilly.”
“Mom!” Lilly grabbed after her, realizing from the playful banter that this might be her actual mother and not some dream version. But as she tried holding it closer, the dream faded away, leaving her more distraught than any other dream had in many years.
She spent a lot of time in bed after that. 'Could it have really been Mom visiting me in a dream? Do souls linger after death? Is she even really gone?'
Then she realized she was thinking about crazy theories just from a dream, which could have been just that, a dream.
'And what was that about a flame? Vermilion, like red?' she pondered, trying to make sense of it all.
She felt foolish for taking the dream so seriously, but if there was anything to it… She should try burning the amulet. Worst-case scenario, nothing would happen; it can take a lot more than that. But maybe she should talk to Gramps about all this first; she needed someone with a clear head right now.
She went downstairs after getting dressed, not bothering to check herself in the mirror this time. Gramps was in the bakery kitchen as usual, baking.
“Good morning, Lilly! Is something wrong?” he said after looking at her, noticing that she didn't look like her usual self.
“I think so, Gramps. Could we talk a bit?” Lilly hoped he didn’t have anything in the oven at the moment.
“Of course, Lilly. I’ll just clean my hands first, you just go sit on the couch and I’ll be right up,” he said, looking a bit surprised but fully ready to help her with whatever she needed.
Lilly went back upstairs to the living room, wrapping herself in a blanket on the couch, seeking some comfort. Gramps came up soon after, looking at her with concern.
“What’s wrong, Lilly? Are you sick?” he said as he sat down beside her.
“No, I don’t think so… I… I had a dream again,” she said, feeling a bit silly for scaring him about a dream.
“Oh, Lilly, a nightmare? Or was it about your parents?” he said, remembering past times when Lilly had been deeply affected by her dreams.
“Mom and Dad, yeah… but it felt real this time somehow,” Lilly admitted, her voice tinged with a mix of wonder and confusion.
Gramps wrapped an arm around her shoulder, drawing her close. “I understand, Lilly. Those dreams are tough. Waking up and realizing they're not here... it’s heartbreaking.”
“It is, but… I really think I talked to them, or at least to Mom,” Lilly said, feeling awkward about this dream situation. She hoped he would make sense of it, or maybe even agree with her, just so she could make sure she wasn’t crazy.
“Oh, like she visited you? What did she say?” Gramps asked, his tone more curious than dismissive.
"She said she missed me… Well, to start from the beginning, it began when the amulet started glowing and sort of woke me up, so I knew I was dreaming. Mom asked why it was glowing, and I explained it quickly. But then she asked if I had tried burning it," Lilly said in a questioning tone, hoping Gramps had some idea. But his reaction was much larger than she expected.
"What!? She asked you that? Lilly, how… You couldn't have known that," he said, more to himself than to Lilly now.
“Know what, Gramps? Is there something you haven’t told me?” Lilly asked, a hint of suspicion in her voice.
“I... just give me a moment to think, Lilly,” he requested, looking slightly dazed.
"Sure, Gramps," Lilly said, hoping he would explain somehow. Now she really was thinking her mother had visited her, given that she mentioned something Lilly couldn't have known about. She felt a lot of emotions thinking about that, but she kept them suppressed for now.
"I… Did she mention the Vermilion Flames?" Gramps asked, his face etched with worry.
"Yes, she said it might be here again, I think…" Lilly replied, trying to recall the exact words from her dream.
"Oh, great… But then it really was her, Lilly, it must have been!" Gramps seemed momentarily very happy about that but quickly came back down again.
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“Alright, Lilly. I’m going to tell you everything. Everything I know, everything you want to ask. I'll be completely honest with you. Where should I start?” Gramps offered, his tone earnest.
Lilly was surprised there was so much he was keeping from her. This wasn't like him and didn't seem like something he would do, unless it was for her sake.
"... Am I in danger?" Lilly asked after thinking to that point.
“Not right now, Lilly. But if you decide to delve deeper into this, into the Vermilion Flame, then you might be,” Gramps cautioned her.
“Delve deeper? Does this have something to do with the amulet?” Lilly inquired, trying to piece things together.
"Well, I don't know nearly as much as your grandmother did. It was her inheritance. The amulet and the bloodline. But yes, the amulet is special, as you know by now. It's tied to your family, as you might have guessed, but it's not the amulet that is powerful. It only acts as a tool to reveal your potential."
"Okay, Eldrin and I had theorized that might be the case earlier," Lilly found that easy enough to digest, compared to the rest of this situation. "But what is our family then? An ancient super bloodline or something?"
"Well, most of the information has been lost to time. The only proof you had is that amulet, and that's about all I knew for a long time. But later I learned that the amulet was useless unless the wearer had 'The Vermilion Flame' within them, which is some sort of power unique to your bloodline. I didn't think much of it before you came back from the library talking about the amulet awakening…" Gramps explained, his voice tinged with regret.
“So, you knew about it back then? And you didn’t say anything?” Lilly asked, a mix of surprise and hurt in her voice.
“Lilly, everything I’ve done, every decision I’ve made, has been to protect you. You've always wanted to do something great, but greatness often comes with a price,” Gramps said, his voice heavy with emotion.
“But you let me go into the forest, didn’t you?” Lilly pressed, looking for consistency in his actions.
Gramps hesitated, his eyes betraying an inner conflict. "... I… Lilly, you know I would do anything for you?"
That sounded ominous.
"Yes, Gramps, I know you would jump in front of any arrow to shield me. What did you do?"
Gramps took a deep breath, struggling with his words. “I... didn’t exactly let you go.”
“What do you mean?” Lilly asked, her confusion growing.
"... You seemed so set on becoming an adventurer, no matter what I said. But look at you now! You've been so happy this last month, learning and meeting new people."
"What did you do, Gramps?" Lilly’s tone was insistent now, demanding an answer.
"... I hired Thoren and the others to bring you and scare you away from becoming an adventurer."
Before she knew it, Lilly was on the road, walking away from the bakery. She heard Gramps shouting after her, but she didn't even think about turning around. She needed someone to talk to, someone she could trust. Not Eolande, she realized with a sinking heart – Eolande was a liar too.
She thought back to the trip to the forest and couldn't figure out how they had tricked her so badly. She had picked the trio out from many others in the tavern that day, and she was the one who decided to bring experienced adventurers. Was Eldrin using some sort of mind magic on her? He was concentrating on a book when she met them, but was that just a cover? Was Gallus in on it as well, suggesting she bring adventurers? And most importantly, was everything Eolande and Eldrin had done for her just a lie?
She couldn't believe that; that would be too painful. They must have made those decisions on their own after the trip. They must have.
She walked until she started hearing the familiar clang of a hammer on metal, knowing she could let her emotions out soon. It was hard to keep them bottled up right now. The skies didn't have the decency to let it rain right now, but she felt like it did anyways.
Lilly entered the forge and saw Mia alone, working on one of the necklaces. Mia heard Lilly enter this time, so she turned around to see.
“Lilly, what– whoa, what happened to you?” Mia said after seeing Lilly, clearly surprised to see her looking like this.
Lilly didn't stop walking before she was head-deep in Mia's shoulder, and then the tears started flowing freely.
“Lilly? What’s wrong?” Mia asked, her arms wrapping around Lilly in a comforting embrace.
“They all lied. All of them. I’m so stupid,” Lilly managed to say between sobs.
“What? Who lied, Lilly? Do you want to go to my room?” Mia consoled, understanding that this would require some serious comforting.
Lilly didn't like the idea of going through their house like this, but she couldn't do this standing up, so she nodded in the end.
“Okay, come here,” Mia said, guiding her through the door to the hallway. No one was there at the moment, luckily, so they got to the room without any fuss. Once inside, Mia sat Lilly down on the bed and took a seat beside her.
“Okay, what happened Lilly? Tell me from the start,” Mia urged, her voice calm and steady.
Lilly had calmed down a tiny bit now, but she still felt betrayed by everyone but Mia at the moment.
“Gramps told me, no, I had a dream today, with my parents. But Mom was actually there, and told me about The Vermilion Flame, and how I have it and need to burn the amulet, but then Gramps, I told him, and he explained some stuff he has kept from me, and he told me—”
“Hold on Lilly, you’re rambling. You had a dream about your parents and your mom was actually there, what do you mean?”
“She, she told me things I couldn’t know about, and that she missed me. The amulet awoke me, in the dream, so I knew I was dreaming, and I thought Mom seemed strange for a dream. And Gramps confirmed it when I told him,” Lilly explained, her voice shaking slightly.
Mia’s eyes widened. “Okay, that’s incredible. But not the main problem?”
“Gramps told me he would tell me anything I asked honestly, so he told me about the amulet and how it only works on our bloodline, if we have the Vermilion Flame thing. But then he told me he hired Ell– Eolande and Eldrin and Thoren to scare me out of being an adventurer. He never intended to let me even try, and just let me think I would die if I went out there.”
“Oh gods. I’m so sorry, Lilly.” Mia said and hugged Lilly close to her, like Gramps had done earlier. It didn’t mean anything, but Lilly noticed the similarities bothering her slightly. Mia smelled a bit better though.
“I feel so betrayed, and Eldrin and Eolande have kept it from me all this time… Do they even… is what they’ve done since then even real?” Lilly felt there wasn’t any good reason to think like that, but her insecurities all came to the surface now.
“I think they were just respecting Gramps' wishes, Lilly. They probably didn’t want you to feel tricked by them,” Mia reassured her. “I know Eolande cares about you, Lilly. And Eldrin, he's taught you so much. He seems like he genuinely wanted to be a good teacher to you. Plus, hiring them like that probably would've been too expensive for a baker, no offense.”
“None taken,” Lilly replied, feeling a small sense of relief as her tears subsided. Mia’s perspective helped, especially since Lilly was doubting her own judgment. “Now say Gramps is stupid and mean.”
“Gramps is stupid and mean. Absolutely the worst person I can think of, all old and stuff. And he doesn’t even bake all that well, just okay. And so stupid, how are you even related?”
“Good, good. I almost believed some of those,” Lilly said, feeling a bit better. She knew why Gramps had done what he did, and she couldn’t argue with the result looking at where she was right now. But that made it even worse somehow, she couldn’t say he was wrong, and she knew she would keep trying to become an adventurer if he just didn’t let her. It was the fact that she was treated like a kid, and was so thoroughly deceived, that made her feel so terrible.
They sat in silence for a while, while Mia gently stroked Lilly’s head. Lilly suddenly felt a pang of guilt, thinking about how she hadn’t been completely honest with Mia either. ‘So that’s what we Bakers do, we lie to protect people,’ she thought to herself. ‘That’s not right. But can I really do this right now? While I’m like this?’ Lilly felt bad about her own dishonesty, but she also didn’t feel like this was the best time to tell Mia about that. But if she didn’t do it, she would always find reasons to delay. She was scared of what might come, after all.
“Mia.”
“Yes, Lilly?”
"I would feel like a hypocrite if I didn’t tell you, especially after all this."
"Tell me about what?" Mia paused her comforting gesture and looked at Lilly, her curiosity evident.
"When I put my mana inside you, I could sense that you felt a bit of romantic love for me."
The room was silent, so silent.
And Mia was red, so red.
Lilly was sure she could hear a heartbeat other than her own at that moment.
It seemed Mia hadn’t realized her feelings were detectable back then.
“I didn’t know if I should tell you or ask you about it since it felt like a breach of trust somehow, taking advantage of an accident to learn something you keep so hidden. But I understand that it’s better to be honest, or I hope it is.” Lilly said, trying to explain her side of things.
Mia went through a lot of expressions, but eventually settled on a nervous one.
“Aah, damn. I didn’t know you knew about that. I guess there’s no use trying to deny it at this point…”
“I’m sorry, Mia.”
“No, it’s fine… Or, not fine, but I’m glad you told me.” She looked up at the roof, clearly going through a lot right now. “I, you know, I tried to suppress it, to keep it buried. But there was always a stubborn piece left, almost screaming at me. Yeah, I guess I’ll just say it then.” She sat up and looked Lilly right in the eyes, like a declaration was about to happen.
“I have a crush on you, Lilly.”