Chapter 13 - Messages
Lilly smiled as she walked through the familiar old bakery, taking in all the wonderful fragrances of fresh pastries. The store was warm and inviting as ever, giving her a deep sense of comfort and safety.
Some activity from the kitchen caught her attention as a deep old voice rang out to her. “Hey there, Lilly! Where have you been? At Mia’s?”
Tears started forming in her eyes as she looked at the kind old man standing there, setting down a plate of fresh buns on the counter. Gramps looked as healthy as ever, and he smiled like everything was fine. Like it was just another day.
She had dreamt of him every night since he passed, but this was the first time she was lucid. The sadness and sorrow she felt made her hesitate, but she still walked over to him and hugged him tightly.
Gramps just accepted it soundlessly, hugging her back like he usually would. The warmth was so comforting and painful at the same time, forcing tears from her eyes.
“How is he doing?” she asked, knowing she would get an answer.
“He’s doing great, dear. But he’s really worried about you.”
The voice came from behind her, but Lilly knew who it was. Finally, her mother had come to visit her again. She let go of Gramps, and without looking at him, she turned to her mother.
“Mom.” Tears were still streaming down her face, but now she was on the verge of crying. She walked to her mother’s outstretched arms and buried her face in her shoulder.
“It’s not fair!” she cried. “It’s not fair that you all leave me!”
Her mother’s voice trembled as she replied. “Oh, Lilly… I’m so sorry. I know how hard this must be for you.” she gently stroked the back of Lilly’s head as she continued to cry.
Lilly shook her head slowly. “It’s not your fault, it’s mine… I never should have trusted that witch!”
“Lilly… I don’t fault you for hating her… But I owe it to her to at least tell you this: she has been begging for our forgiveness ever since it happened.”
The small part of her that cared was quickly silenced by anger as Lilly lashed out. “I don’t care! She should stew in that regret forever! It’s fine for you guys, all reunited again, but I lost the last family I had left! All I have is this fake!” She pointed behind her at the Gramps in her dream, who stood there with a sad expression.
Her mother held Lilly’s face in her arms, looking deep into her eyes. “That’s not a fake, Lilly. That’s the part of him that lives on in your heart. That’s the kindest, warmest, and wisest version of him, and probably the part of himself he likes the most.”
Her words resonated with Lilly, and she felt her tears start to stream once more. She turned to look at him with a new view, and saw him smile bashfully back at her. A sorrowful laugh escaped her mouth, but it quickly turned to sobbing again as she realized how much she would miss him.
“And we’re not fine, Lilly. Sure, we’re happy to see him again after all this time, but we all worry about how you’re doing. You don’t understand how much we care for you if you think we’re fine.” She gently caressed Lilly’s face, wiping a tear rolling down her cheek.
Lilly knew she was being difficult, and that her emotions were irrational. But she found it very difficult to silence them. The sense of betrayal from Myndia was the worst, after all their planning and the bond she felt they had built.
There was a slight nagging feeling in her heart, though. One that told her she had betrayed Myndia first, by letting Eolanathel escape and disregarding her revenge. ‘But what could I have done? I was powerless once he knew what we were planning…’
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“As for Myndia… She cried, as she begged our forgiveness… She never cries, at least not in front of anyone. She has a terrible tendency to blame herself for anything bad that happens, and I think she feels immense guilt.”
Lilly recalled the last time Myndia visited her in the dream, and how she had blamed herself for not knowing about Eolanathel. And how, even through all of that, she hadn’t cried. She had crept into a ball of regret, letting Lilly comfort her, but she hadn’t cried.
Her mother hesitated slightly before continuing. “I only heard her side of things, but she said she lost control when the man responsible for the massacre was about to get away. And I’ve seen the kids… I mean, the victims of that period.” She took a deep breath as if to steady herself. “I don’t blame her, is what I’m trying to say.”
Her mother had countered every part of her outburst perfectly, letting her emotions cool down through cold logic. A short sniffle cleared her sinuses before she replied. “See, this is why I need you, Mom. You’re the best at making me realize things I’m too stubborn to consider.”
Her mother smiled at her. “I’m right here, Lilly. As long as you have the flame, we’ll be able to meet. Then you can tell me about your problems, and I’ll do all I can to help.”
“It’s a deal. Tell Myndia to respond through the amulet again, and that I’ll listen to her apology. I’m raising her pet at the moment, but I can tell her about that myself.”
Her mother looked confused. “I’ll tell her you’re open to listening to her. But what pet are you talking about?”
“Oh, a phoenix that she has raised a few times after it’s been reborn. It’s a baby bird right now, so I’m feeding him and keeping him safe,” Lilly replied, smiling lightly at the thought of Beak sleeping in the oven.
“A phoenix? Oh, Beak? I’ve heard of him, that’s incredible!”
“Yeah, he was pretty intimidating before he died. Now he’s a cute ball of fluff.” Lilly turned to look at Gramps, feeling his absence sting again. “Did Gramps have any messages to me?” she asked, looking at his wise eyes.
“Oh, more than I can remember! But I’ll try my best. Don’t worry about the bakery; it was due for a makeover. Try to bake once in a while; skills deteriorate if you don’t use them. Then a bunch of housekeeping stuff, but I’ll say you got them.” She smiled cleverly at Lilly as she said that.
Lilly remembered that her mother never bothered much with cleaning or keeping things in order, so it made her chuckle.
“Keep doing what you’re passionate about, regardless of how many duties you get in the future. Take good care of your new family, support them as they support you. Only make choices that you can live with. Family first, justice second, and everything else third.
Don’t try to be perfect. Flaws make you who you are, and you are perfect.”
Lilly looked at his warm smile as she listened to his words. She nearly made it without crying, but the last part pushed her over the edge. She couldn’t help but give him a hug as she replied.
“Tell him I miss him more than he knows. Tell him I love him, and that he’s the best reserve parent I could have asked for. Tell him how amazing the version of him in my heart is. And tell him how happy I am that he gets to see you guys again. Nothing fills me with more warmth than thinking about that.”
Dream-Gramps gave her some pats on her back. “He’ll be overjoyed to hear it, Lilly.”
Lilly gently ended the hug and looked at him, seeing his tearful face smiling at her. She smiled back, feeling like there was more of him present than she thought.
Her mother also had tears running down her cheeks, looking like Lilly felt; overjoyed and sorrowful at the same time. “I’ll let him know, Lilly dear. And I agree, he’ll be overjoyed.”
Lilly went to give her a final hug, feeling a lot better now than she had in a long time. This was the perfect place for her to be if she wanted to calm down, and these were the perfect people. It took her back to simple times, long before life started weighing her down.
“I love you, Mom!” Lilly said, nested up to her chest.
“I love you too, Lilly! I’ll see you again later,” her mother responded, lovingly rubbing the back of Lilly’s neck.
image [https://i.imgur.com/UVE5nYI.png]
Details in the familiar bakery had started blurring now, signaling that her sleep was about to end. Lilly looked around one final time, still holding her mother's side, trying to take in all the impressions she could before it was gone.
A final pat on her shoulder was the last thing she felt before she opened her eyes and saw the morning sun streaming through the window.