Chapter 15 - Myndia

Eolande returned up the stairs, the amulet hanging from her hand, and stopped as she stared at Lilly.

Lilly took a deep breath before walking up to her and taking it in her hand. Feeling the warmth spread through her arm, she looked at it with mixed emotions. It had been with her since she was a child, but now it felt foreign.

“I’ll be in our room,” she said quietly, glancing at Mia as she stepped towards the hallway. She could feel two anxious pairs of eyes staring at her back, but they did little to help her nerves.

After closing the bedroom door, she sat on the bed and held the amulet between her palms, fingers intertwined.

‘I’m ready to listen, Myndia.’

A few seconds passed without a response, but the silence in her mind soon filled with an emotional and tender voice: ‘I’m so sorry, Lilly, for everything that happened. It was selfish and incredibly stupid of me to take action like that. I swear on everything I hold dear that I won’t take control of your flame again… unless you want me to.’

Those were the words Lilly had expected to hear, but they still made her emotional. Anger, pity, and helplessness filled her, and she was unsure how to respond.

Myndia continued nervously after not getting a response. ‘I– I started writing a speech at first, but I thought it might… not feel as genuine as I wanted it to. But I can try if you want!’

Lilly couldn’t help feeling sorry for her. She knew, despite the anger and grief she still felt, that she was ready for this.

‘No, that’s not necessary. I just… What you did caused me a lot of pain. And you knew exactly why I didn’t want you to act because of what might happen. If anyone else had died, I certainly would never have forgiven you.’

Myndia stayed silent, but Lilly thought she could hear the anticipation in the silence.

‘But because it was Gramps, and because no one else would be as pleased to reach the afterlife. Because you had an extremely good reason to be beside yourself with rage. Because I stopped caring about your revenge. Because everyone in the afterlife seems to have forgiven you as well…

I forgive you, Myndia.’

A silence lingered for a moment before the amulet signaled a response. ‘... Truly?’

‘Truly. But you’ll have to abandon your revenge on the other members of the clan of assassins and never take control of my flame again,’ Lilly responded, thinking that was a good way to end this entire saga.

‘I promise to abandon my revenge! And thank you, Lilly! This has been an unbearable weight on my mind. Truly, I… can’t tell you how much this means!’

The emotions in her voice were clear and genuine as they sounded out in Lilly’s mind, moving her deeply. Myndia was one of the most powerful humans in history, as well as one of the oldest. Few things could bring her emotions to the surface anymore, which was evident by her cold demeanor when they first met.

‘I trust you, Myndia. You can still go after the assassins if they do anything bad in the future, but not for what they have done in the past. You’re welcome to act like you have in the past now, helping me with whatever you can.’

‘I’ll do what I can, Lilly! I wish we were meeting in your dream instead; this feels too impersonal. Is there anything you’d like tips on at the moment?’

Lilly smiled, thinking of a few things right away. ‘Well, did Mom tell you anything else before you came here?’

‘Not that I can think of. She told me you were willing to listen to me through the amulet, so I stayed ready to respond.’

‘Then let me get you up to speed. After the funeral, a grand visitor came to our humble city. A phoenix named Beak.’

‘Ah! He came here? What happened?’ Myndia asked worriedly. She clearly cared deeply for him, but it made perfect sense. Even Lilly felt protective of him after only a few days.

‘Well… I flew up to meet him over the city and quickly understood who he was. I could sort of understand him and told him you wouldn’t be around for many years yet. So he… gave me his heart. And now I’m caring for him until he’s ready to leave.’

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‘... Did he seem sad? After you told him I wouldn’t be there?’

Lilly recalled how Beak had lowered his head sadly after she told him, and felt a bit guilty. ‘Yeah, he did… I’m sorry I didn’t bring the amulet. I think I would have let you speak to him, at least.’

‘No, it’s fine. If anything, it’s my fault. But I’ll see him again... It just became sort of a tradition for us to see each other off at the end. It’s not the first one we’ve missed, and it won’t be the last.’

Her words did little to make Lilly feel better, and the fact that Myndia blamed herself again made her feel even worse.

‘How could you possibly take the blame for that? It’s not your fault the flame stayed dormant for so long, or that Eolanathel knew about our plans. It’s barely even your fault you attacked him. I’m not the only one who’s noticed your tendency to blame yourself for everything, and you need to stop.’

A sigh could be heard before Myndia replied. ‘I… hold myself to a very high standard. You’re probably right, but this is the method I’ve learned to prevent similar mistakes in the future. And unlike most people, I have all of eternity ahead of me. I need to remember my mistakes.’

‘No one expects you to be perfect, Myndia. All anyone can expect is that you try your best, and I know you do. So I think it’s better if you let people think of you as confident and reliable instead of paranoid and regretful. I don’t think you’ve made nearly as many mistakes as you think.’

‘Hah! Well, perhaps there’s some truth to that. But, you see, I knew Eolanathel. The two of us were nearly the same age. I even… ahhh. I thought of him as a friend once. I just thought he died a long time ago… So I have made mistakes.’

Lilly didn’t have much of a response to that. She hadn’t thought about how they knew each other, but now it seemed obvious there was some history there.

‘Everyone makes mistakes. I understand that people in important positions should be more careful than others, but no one can expect people, or even demigods, to be perfect. I’m sure even the people who died in the massacre didn’t blame you.’

‘Fine, I’ll try to be less critical in the future. I’m sure you have some questions about Beak now, though. How is he doing?’

‘I think he’s doing fine; he has grown a lot since yesterday. I went to the library to see if I could find some tips on raising phoenixes, but I didn’t learn too much. We put him in our oven overnight since he seems to love warm places.’

‘Ah, that’s a clever way to keep him calm. Heat has a calming effect on them, especially when they’re young. But if you keep him there, he won’t grow as fast, since it slows his metabolism.

‘Oh, really? What happened to make him so big, then?’

‘Well, he still grows a lot regardless of where you put him. As a descendant of a divine beast, phoenixes grow by draining mana from their surroundings. They still enjoy eating, but it doesn’t do much for their growth.’

Lilly felt her cheeks redden, realizing her feeding ritual had been unnecessary. ‘I see, so… chewing meat, would he manage on his own?’

‘Of course! You could feed him rocks, and he would be fine. Why? Have you been feeding him something else?’

‘Uhm… I’ve sort of taken inspiration from other birds…’

‘Oh, worms and stuff will be fine. Seeds might be quite dry, but he would manage. I doubt he would enjoy it much, though.’

Lilly felt that keeping her method a secret would be fine. ‘Right, that makes sense. But I won’t have to feed him much going forward?’

Myndia seemed to sense something was odd, but didn’t quite manage to pick up what. ‘Have you been digging in the dirt for worms or something? He might still ask for food and tends to get bothersome if you don’t give him some, but he should grow just as quickly without it.’

‘Good to know!’ Lilly exclaimed, willfully putting an end to that discussion. ‘Right, his heart! What enchantment should I put on the staff?’

‘Oh, right. Well, it’s a bit of a challenge. The only significant systems remaining are the resistance to heat and the ability to sustain oneself through environmental mana. The former is useless for anyone with the flame, and the latter is nearly useless. It might help when one is forced into a rebirth, but otherwise, there are plenty of ways to get sustenance.’

Lilly nodded, agreeing that they were pretty useless. ‘If you’re fine with using other materials, I could give it a good enchantment, but I’m guessing the sentimental value of using the heart is significant. I can try to look through the heart to find other systems, but I can’t guarantee I understand what I find.’

A short silence followed Lilly’s suggestion, but she let Myndia mull it over.

‘I’d like it if you tried finding other systems first. If nothing interesting is found, we can consider using other materials.’

‘I’ll see what I can find. I need to start preparing for a meeting with Adelia and a royal investigator, so we should discuss it later.’

‘Ah, okay. I could secretly offer some advice during the meeting if you’d like. And thank you so much for giving me a chance to apologize! I feel like a great weight has lifted from my heart.’

‘You should thank my Mom; she’s the one who convinced me I should listen. And I’d feel a lot more confident with some extra advice, so I’ll take you up on that offer.’

‘Great! I’ll thank her again, then! I’ll let you start getting ready.’

Lilly smiled as she got up from the bed, knowing Myndia wasn’t the only one who felt lighter after that conversation. Lilly had felt a bit lost ever since they had stopped talking, losing someone who could offer so much knowledge and help.

She had regained an invaluable ally, and now she felt closer to her than ever.