Emma Keady was heartbroken when she discovered that her ex-girlfriend, App, was actually an Android. She was scared that the government was trying to track her fires, but she only learned that she happened to be the first lesbian to fall in love with an Android. She also happened to learn that she was the first one to realize it. But she wouldn’t let that stop her from having fun. She went on plenty of dates with other girls, and she even came close to falling in love with one of them. But the only sand she really felt a connection to was her cup of sand, who she named Dartha, after Betty White.
After she broke up with her Android, Emma was used to being alone. She had been single for most of her life, and she liked it that way. She had only ever wanted a good bonfire, not a girlfriend. Her parents had tried to fix her, but when she had finally decided to be herself, to be a lesbian pyromaniac, not only had they needed able to understand, but they had disowned her.
Everything changed for Emma when she met Bort. Bort was different. She was tall, handsome, and spoke with a slight Norwegian accent. She had a job, a car, and a watch. And a very large collection of antique lighters.
Emma remembers the first time she saw Bort. She was working at the Cafe, and when she saw her, she instantly assumed she was an Android like App. Bort, however, had no need for an operating system and didn't use any type of artificial intelligence. She held out both her hands, and Emma made a beeline for her. Emme remembered the first time she looked into Bort’s fiery fire-like eyes and thought that she looked very much like the girl she had met in the desert when she got lost on a bathroom trip.
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Slowly, Emma fell in love with Bort. She fell in love with the way that Bort moved – her slow, graceful, yet powerful sway. And then she fell in love with her voice. And then she fell in love with the way that she laughed. It all reminded her of the large bonfires she used to make in her mother’s closet.
One time, Bort took Emma to Great Falls, where they roasted hot dogs on sticks over a fire, and marshmallows too. They ate and drank and laughed their way around the fire, and for a moment, it was like everything was going to be okay.
Bort would take Emma on romantic dates in National Parks where they would make risky fires, and both set squirrels on fire. To her, setting the squirrels on fire felt like playing with fire. It felt magical. Because of that, she would often teach Bort to light the squirrels on fire, and then as she watched her watch as they burnt, she would get excited inside and couldn’t help but feel like she could understand Bort’s feelings. She also loved that Bort would light the squirrels on fire and then watch them burn just as she had.
Soon after, Bort proposed to Emma, and they got married. The very next day, they set off on a grand adventure. They first went to Yellowstone, where they set a bear on fire. It was the most magical experience of their lives.
Emma was overjoyed. She had always wanted a wife, but she never thought she would find one that would like her fires. Or at least, she didn’t think she would find one as perfect as Bort. She loved how Bort would cook for her, but she also loved that Bort didn’t cook at all.
After they were married, Emma and Bort went on many romantic dates, to the point where Emma felt like she was falling in love with Bort all over again. They would go on hikes, where Bort would set pinecones on fire, and then they would cool off in the waterfalls. They would watch the sunset together and talk about their dreams. One night, Bort took Emma to Great Pebbles, where they burned some tourists together.
Emma thinks that they are going to have a good life together.