"Aaaaaaaaagh! This is boring!~" Ruby whined.

"… Excuse me?" I asked.

We were all sitting in my teammates', and by extension my, room. 'We' being myself, my teammates, and JNPR. I'd doled out platefuls of desert salad to each of them, to mixed reception. Though something told me that wasn't what Ruby was complaining about.

"We don't want to talk about plants." Ruby said "Can't we talk about something cool?"

"But… plants are cool." I countered "Plus, they're an easier stepping stone for explaining some of the Mojave's nastier creatures than just skipping headlong too them."

"But this is booooring~"

"Yeah!" Nora whooped "Tell us something cool!"

"…" I gave Ruby and Nora a deadpan look. Which probably got read as silently me just silently staring at them by everyone else. "… You know what? Fine." I shifted out on my cot, so I could more conspiratorially sit amongst everyone. "You want to skip hundreds of years' worth of evolution and knowledge, be my guest. Don't blame me if it ever comes back to bite you."

"I can't imagine it will." Weiss mumbled, eating her salad in ladylike fashion.

"Do you know the difference between Pinyon Nuts and White Horsenettle?"

"…"

"Good, because I'm never telling you now." I shifted to focus on everyone at large. "So then: Where should I begin? The Mojave is full of stuff besides the local flora. Where would you like me to begin?"

"Ooo, Ooo!" Nora continued whooping "Tell us about Melty cheese man and Lily!"

"… You could remember giant blue lady's name, but not Raul's?"

"Tell us about them!"

"… does that work for everyone?"

A round of shrugs, nods, and grunts of agreement.

"Well, alright then. If this is where we want to start, let's talk about the mutants, monsters, and abominations of the wasteland."

"Does that include the ghosts from that story you told us?" Jaune asked, looking a touch fretful

"Maybe." I shrugged "There's plenty to cover though, so I make no guarantees."

"Oh, good." Jaune said, looking and sounding less stable than implied

I collected my thoughts for a moment. "… I think the last time we talked about them, I'd given you a basic gist on what Ghouls and Super-mutants were, right?"

"Uh… They were people, right?" Yang asked "But something happened that made them… not normal?"

"For a given standard of normal, yes. Good on you for remembering, Yang."

She nodded and continued eating her greens.

"While they still are people, by the standards of the wasteland they aren't classified as 'human' anymore." I explained "As previously explained, they've been mutated into something that makes calling them human taxonomically incorrect. It was more than just their appearances that changed."

"Isn't Lily supposed to be super strong, and faster than a speeding bullet?" Ruby asked

"Not that fast, but yes. She is supposed to be inherently stronger, faster, smarter, tougher, and all around better than any human could ever hope to be. That is, of course, keeping in mind that aura doesn't exist in my world. Or taking into account that she's effectively immortal."

"But how did she get so big!" Nora asked, in usual bombastic fashion "She's supposed to be a little old lady, right?"

"She is, or I guess more, accurately was." I conceded "But that's the life of a Super-mutant. Doesn't matter what age you were when you changed, you're basically bumped to the prime of your life again, inside an eight to ten-foot-tall, muscle wrapped and psychologically fractured package."

"How?" Pyrrha asked.

"Like I told you last time, they're exposed to something called the FEV. Which stands for Forced Evolutionary Virus."

"Soo… She got a cold and turned into something like that?" Yang asked.

"Not a cold, Yang, it doesn't really work that way."

She shrugged "Well, it's nothing to sneeze at anyway."

A small smirk spread across her face. An annoyed glare spread across everyone else's.

"… Can you not go five minutes without making a pun?" I grumbled.

"You all secretly like them." Yang smiled sunnily "I'll get you to admit it."

"No, I'm pretty sure we're all sick of your shit Yang."

Everyone's glares casually slid over from Yang to me. Yang's smile doubled in size.

"… I hate you so much- Can I continue or not?"

"Hey, don't let me stop you."

"Good. I won't." I took a deep breath "… The Forced Evolutionary Virus, or FEV was developed prior to the bombs falling. I don't know all that much about it, since even back then it was something of a government secret. But what I do know is what's been found and spread around since then. Supposedly it was intended to be a weapon for use in the then ongoing Resource Wars. Shocking, I know."

Ruby raised her hand.

"You don't need to raise your hand Ruby."

She sheepishly lowered her hand "Why they use something that makes their enemies stronger as a weapon?"

"Well, it probably wasn't intended to do that. But it probably never got that far before they started using it for something else."

"Like turning people into blue skinned giants?"

"Most Super-mutants are green actually. Lily's a special variant I'll tell you about in a bit." I Explained "Anyway, the FEV was changed from a weapon, into an attempt to create super soldiers by directly manipulating the human genome. Kind of like how radiation does, but with a greater degree of control. Which, speaking from a purely scientific standpoint, made it a resounding success. Anybody hit with a concentrated dose of the FEV was guaranteed to mutate."

"Ok… so why isn't everyone in your world a 'super-mutant'." Weiss asked "If it is so much better?"

"Because it's not, and the bombs stopped it from being put into full use." I continued "Just because it improves many desirable attributes of human physiology, doesn't mean it's necessarily 'good'. Starting with the fact that it completely overwrites who you are physically, in favor of a hulking tower of meat. Remember, Lily is an old lady. But she looks like a man who spent their entire life lifting cars over their head. Do you want that done to you?"

"Of course not!" Weiss snapped, sounding a touch defensive.

"Damn right you don't!" I snapped back "I hope none of you ever have the misfortune of ever seeing it either. Because aside from the physical changes, there's still more damage done. Such as the virus sterilizing anybody infected by it. Meaning that anybody infected will never be capable of having children. On top of that, there's a greater chance it will drive you completely insane, and fill you with murderous rage. I cannot stress enough how much the FEV is not a good thing, nor is it 'cool'."

I had no idea where the sudden burst of anger had come from, but it took everyone else by surprise as much as it did myself. Maybe it was because I'd spent enough time trying to help Lily that I just had enough in-depth experience to know better. It was a surprise either way.

"… Sorry" I said, "I have no idea where that came from."

There were no immediate responses or questions. Everyone just sat, eating their salads for a moment.

"… If it's so bad, why would people still use it?" Blake, of all people, asked.

"Never said they had a choice." I answered "Somewhere around a century ago, my time, there'd apparently been someone called 'The Master'. Whoever they were, they'd made it their mission to forcibly change everyone into Super-mutants. Don't ask me why they thought it was a good idea, I'm pretty sure they were insane. They'd been winning too."

A curious look spread across Blake's face "So then why aren't you a mutant?"

"Depending on who you ask, I technically am." I said "But the reason why I, and by extension most of the wasteland, aren't super-mutants is because somebody stopped 'The Master'. Apparently, someone managed to get close enough to them, and inform them of the mutants' self-imposed sterility. Meaning that, even if the Master 'succeeded', The Super-mutants would have no means of increasing their population."

"But aren't they immortal?" Ruby piped in.

"Immortal just means they can't die of old age Ruby. Super-mutants are tough, but that doesn't mean if you rip the heart out of one it won't die."

"So by killing off humanity, they'd be dooming themselves in the process." Blake surmised.

"That's a little tune we like to call 'Mutually Assured Destruction'." I nodded "For all their supposed advantages, in the end Humanity had a leg up in the one area that mattered. We're pretty good at making more of us."

It took a moment for that statement to sink in, but when it did, I found myself surrounded by red faces.

Except for Blake, who just got this odd, kind of shifty look.

"Relating all this back to Lily-" I continued "Lily was a vault dweller- you all remember the Vaults, right?"

A round of nods confirmed they did.

"Well, Lily was a vault dweller, and by extension a 'pure' human. No mutations, diseases, or pre-exposures to FEV to inhibit the process of turning her into a super-mutant."

Stolen from its rightful place, this narrative is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.

"But wouldn't already being 'exposed' turn her into a mutant?" Ruby asked.

"Surprisingly, no, just like catching a cold doesn't turn you into a jabbering ball of snot."

"Ew."

"You see, when the bombs fell, the main containment for the FEV was broken. Meaning it could escape into the wasteland and infect other organisms. But this also meant the virus was open to being mutated like everything else exposed to radiation. This mutated strain became common, if immediately harmless to everyone. However, if you were to be exposed to FEV in concentrations that, say, are enough to turn you into a super-mutant after being exposed to the mutant strain, then you have problem. Remember how I said FEV turns you into a murderously insane monster? Well that's if you've been exposed to the mutant virus, which most wastelanders have been."

"So to get the 'ideal' mutant, you needed somebody who'd never been exposed." Pyrrha surmised.

"Bingo." I nodded "Which would be hard to do, since you'd only find them in Vaults."

"And Lily was one of them?" Weiss asked.

"Yes, she, her children, and her grandchildren all were."

A small look of dawning horror washed over Weiss. I think it did all of them.

"As far as I'm aware, Lily was the only one to survive. She was turned into a Nightkin. A 'superior' variant of super-mutant that was considered to be the apex of their 'species'. She served 'the Master' until their army fell apart. By the time I met her, it'd been over a century since then."

"That's horrible!" Ruby practically shouted "Who could do something like that to someone?"

"I don't know Ruby." I answered, empathizing "Worse still? Because of a piece of tech nightkin use called 'stealthboys' they've all got crippling schizophrenia and dementia… When I first met Lily, she thought I was one of her grandchildren."

A heavy silence settled over the room. It's hard to talk about things like that without the air feeling like it suddenly weighed an extra thousand pounds. But they wanted the truth, and I wasn't going to lie to them. I just wish it wasn't always so ugly.

"… Is she okay now?" Ruby asked.

I shook my head. "It's complicated, you can't just give someone medicine and expect all their ailments to disappear. Last I talked with her though, she seemed clearer headed, one of her better days."

Ruby nodded sadly, there wasn't much more to it than that. "… What about Raul?" She asked.

"Raul?" I parroted "Well, like I said, he's a ghoul. Someone who's been exposed to large amounts of radiation and had the misfortune of not dying. Though that sentiment varies depending on who you ask."

"How'd he not… y'know?"

"…Die?" I asked.

Ruby nodded.

"Dunno" I shrugged "No one does, really. Most people die from it, but some don't. That's about all we really know. I've heard some people say it's because they've been infected with FEV too, but I couldn't say."

"Does it hurt?" Nora asked, having the look of a concerned child.

"Never bothered to ask. But I'd probably assume it isn't too comfortable, since your skin is the first thing to fall off." Everyone got a little squeamish from that. "Aside from that, they're functionally immortal too, like Lily. Their body, sort of, eats radiation from the surrounding area. Using it to sustain and heal them somehow. But it also comes with the drawback of eventually causing them to go feral."

"Feral?" Weiss asked "Like a wild animal?"

"Yeah, assuming you want to equate people to animals. If exposed for long enough, or just given enough time, most ghouls will go 'feral'. Meaning they lose any remaining semblance of humanity, and become slavering monsters that operate purely on the basis of surviving."

"So a wild animal then."

"There's no way to help them either, is their?" Ruby asked.

"Well, not directly. But I've met ghouls that have managed to find their way back from being feral."

"Really?" Ruby asked, a hopeful glow in her eyes.

"Yep, don't know how they did it, but they did. They've got no hope of looking human again, but I'll take being able to talk to them without fear of them ripping my face off instead. Though there are people who don't see it that way, and would sooner shoot ghouls than take the chance."

"People shooting one another because of physical differences." Blake said snidely "Why does that sound familiar?"

"… Y'know, funny you mention it, I remember thinking the same thing when first learning about Faunus."

Blake rolled her eyes, then finished her salad and picked up her book again.

"Aside from that, Raul's personal history isn't for me to tell. Though I can pretty much promise you that it wasn't pretty. You don't survive over two centuries without a lot of heartache."

"So that's ghouls and super-mutants then." Yang said "You got any other crazy monsters to tell us about?"

"Oh, dozens. We're only getting started, and aren't even out of the, potentially ,FEV created beasties. Wait 'till we reach the Ghost People, or the Tunnelers."

"… Nope." Jaune said "No thank you, I've got enough nightmares right now."

I snorted out a chuckle and twisted on my cot. "Don't worry, I think I've scared, scarred, and tortured you all enough for tonight. We've got plenty of ground to cover, so no point in rushing."

"It all feels really confusing." Ruby said "Is it all going to be like that?"

"Not all of it. Once you wrap your head around the fact that it's only important because it's trying to kill you, it gets simpler… or, at least, more manageable."

"Is there anything that isn't trying to kill you?" Jaune asked.

"I'm pretty sure the plants will leave you alone." Ren muttered, clearly intent to keep eating.

"Funny you should mention that." I said, eyeing Ren "There are actually a number of plants that will try to kill you. They'll also try to take control of your body and use you as a hybrid plant-meat puppet to attack people too."

"…"

"You got any other wise-ass remarks?"

"… I feel as though you could spend days telling us about the monsters from your world, and you'd still have more."

I looked at Ren for a moment, then chuckled "Hmph, you're not wrong… So, any other questions?"

"I don't know about everyone else-" Weiss answered "But I think I've had enough for one night. At this rate you'll be telling us that your world has dragons and rats the size of beowulves."

"Oh please, my world isn't some sort of fairytale, snowflake. We just have giants and evil plants… among other things."

"What about Faunus?" Blake asked.

"What about Faunus?" I parroted,

"You haven't said anything about them." Blake continued "Do we even exist?"

"Far as I know?... nope." I shrugged "Hadn't ever heard of you guys until I got here. Though we do have the word 'Fauna', which is a generalized word for animal life."

Blake nodded, but didn't say anything. I couldn't really tell if her specie's lack of existence in my world was a shock or not.

"… Actually, you mind if I ask you a few questions, Blake?"

"Questions?"

"Assuming you don't mind, that is."

Blake looked a little surprised by my interest. "What kind of questions?"

"Just some general curiosity things. If you feel like they're too personal, you don't have to answer."

Blake stared at me for a moment, sporting her trademark impassivity. I couldn't tell what she was thinking, but I'm not much good at reading women anyway, so that's no surprise. Surprisingly, she shrugged and set her salad aside.

"I'm listening." She said.

"… Well~" I said "First, what's it like having two sets of ears?"

Blake twitched, and a look of surprised confusion materialized on her face. Notably, one of her ears quirked up while the other flattened to her head. I think everyone else was a bit confused as well

"I'm… what?" Blake asked back.

"What's it like having two set of ears?" I repeated "Where I'm from everybody only has the one set. Or, at least, the one functioning set. I'm just curious what it's like having more than that."

"… Aheh-" Blake said, overcoming her surprise "Um… I guess I can't really say. I mean, what's it like not having them?"

"Eh, hard to say, but Jaune's screaming doesn't wake me up anymore, so it can't be too bad."

"Hey!" Jaune whined, though he was promptly ignored. Not my fault he couldn't get over whatever nightmares he was having.

"Hmph, That I still hear." Blake answered.

"… Alright, to be specific, do you hear double?" I asked "When I say something, is there a second, delayed version of my voice that comes through?"

"…No, why?"

"Evolutionary trait that allows for the cancelation of sounds within the ear." I answered "It keeps you from suffering sensory overload, and also means that you having cat ears is a completely natural part of your biology. Which, I might add, is absolutely mind blowing."

"Really?"

"Uh, yeah. Faunus don't exist where I'm from. As far as I'm concerned, The fact that I'm the first wastelander whose getting to meet you is the equivalent of discovering a new species… Technically, I think that means I get to name you too."

Blake gave me a small, pointed glare "You do not get to name me."

"According to science, I do."

Blake continued glaring at me.

"Okay, okay-" I said, holding my hands up innocently "I'll let it go, but I do have some other questions to ask you."

Blake continued glaring for a moment, then gave a heavy sigh and motioned for me to continue.

"Alright, on the subject of hearing, how good is yours?" I asked "How much further can it reach, or how much more sharp is it than a human's?"

"Sharp enough." Blake shrugged "If I try, I can hear Pyrrha tell Jaune to stop screaming."

"Stop using me as a reference!" Jaune whined

"Interesting, that wouldn't be an easy feat." I said, ignoring Jaune "You've also got natural nightvision, right?"

Blake nodded "It's not perfect, but I can see pretty well in the dark."

"Not too well I'd have to guess, considering you read by candle light."

Blake shook her head. "No, I could read in the dark if I wanted. But it's still easier to read in the light."

"Interesting… Are there any trade-offs for your night vision?"

"Trade-offs?"

"Things like slight color blindness, loss of depth perception, things like that."

"Um… not really, but some colors do stand out more."

"And is this the same for other faunus?"

Blake shook her head again. "It varies among faunus. Some have better hearing, other have better sight."

"Sounds about standard. Assuming all faunus have evolved from different ancestors, then of course some of those traits would carry from the obvious of course. Aside from... well, y'know." I motioned to her ears. "… Here's another one, do you have claws?"

Blake quirked an eyebrow. "Claws?"

I nodded "I had a run-in with Tukson not too long ago, and despite lacking ears like yours, he had an impressive set of claws. Carved into wood easy enough."

"Who?" I heard Nora whisper to Ren, who shrugged.

Blake nodded "We found a note saying he'd seen you before leaving… No, I don't have claws. Faunus only have one specific 'trait' showing what we are. Mine are my ears, Tukson had his claws."

"… Now that's a bit strange."

"What do you mean?"

"Normally, by the process of evolution, traits that would aid in the survival of a species are passed from parent to child. Such as your enhanced hearing and nightvision. But, it's also significantly harder to remove those traits once they're presented."

"… My dad does have claws like Tukson's." Blake said, after visibly reflecting for a moment.

"Ever stranger then, as in all likelihood you should have them." I said resting my hand in my chin "Basic genetics provides an explanation as to why you don't, through dominant and recessive genes. Meaning you carry the potential for your children to have them… But that also leaves the possibility for you to have both…" I shook my head "You're certain that Faunus can only have one specific trait, correct?"

Blake nodded "Yes."

"Then that leaves something of a mystery. Somewhere along the evolutionary line, something would've needed to transpire for it to be more beneficial for Faunus to only carry one visible trait at a time. I'm probably just over thinking it, but that's why I'm asking questions, so whatever."

It was certainly an oddity to keep in mind though. Genetics were not something easily tampered with or understood. Maybe only having the one trait was a natural result, but there was something… not quite right with it. I do remember hearing about humans and Faunus being able to have children together, so perhaps that had something to do with it?

Of course there was also a much darker possibility: That the faunus' 'traits' were the result of deliberate genetic engineering. Remnant hadn't displayed any tech capable of it from what I'd seen, and it would've been a recent development regardless. No more than maybe fifty years ago. But humans had also figured out how to modify plants and animals over the course of thousands of years. By forcibly crossbreeding them until desired 'breeds' were achieved. Who's to say that hadn't been the case with Faunus?

'… Yep, definitely overthinking it now.'

"Well, I guess that about covers it then."

"Really?" Blake asked "No dumb questions like 'do you play with balls of yarn' or 'do you like fish'?"

"No, why would I ask stupid things like that?" I asked in response "Besides, we already know you have a thing for fish."

Blake looked surprised at that. "That's a surprise."

"It really is, yeah. Ruby figured it out, apparently it's one of the things you seem to consistently eat."

"No, I mean, aside from the fact you all apparently don't have a big issue with me being… me, I was kind of expecting something insulting."

"… Why?" I asked "You're already our friend, and, in case you haven't noticed, probably the only person in this group who'd have a problem with it is snowflake. And she got over it pretty quick."

Weiss shot me a small glare, but gave a small, accepting nod.

"As far as I'm concerned, as long as you're not trying to kill me, you being a faunus is kinda… well, actually is, pretty cool. I'm kinda jealous actually, having natural night vision and increased hearing would be pretty sweet."

Blake stared at me in surprise for a moment, then chuckled and gave a small smirk. I guess the idea of someone being jealous of her was amusing.

"Ooh, ooh!" Nora cut in "Can I ask a question?"

"I dunno, can you?" I asked

Apparently it was my turn to get ignored, because Nora brushed right past me and to Blake. "Alright listen up kitten! Because I've got a question for ya!"

Blake rolled her eyes, kept up her smirk, and motioned for Nora to ask whatever she'd apparently thought up.

Nora put on that manic, toothy grin of hers, and leaned in closer to Blake "… Do you purr?"

"…"

The smirk melted off of Blake's face.

The silence in the room was deafening. A look of surprise and intrigue spread across my teammate's faces. The same could be said for half of JNPR, while Ren maintained his stoicism and Nora was… well, Nora.

I, on the other hand, suddenly felt very stupid. Not because I had allowed Nora to ask. But because I hadn't thought of it first.

"… Well, answer the young girl." I said, turning to Blake "Do you purr?"

"… This conversation's over."

Blake immediately got up and, very stiffly, walked over to the dorm's door. She left the room and left the silence to blanket us.

"… That didn't sound like a no."