"This… is terrible." Yang said, pushing her food around her plate.
"What, what's wrong with it?" I asked, continuing to dole out dinner, giving an extra scoop to Weiss as I passed her plate back.
"It's… just look at it!" Nora squawked, tilting her plate towards me. The contents of it slowly sliding towards the edge in a thick mass.
"… I still don't see anything wrong with it." I said.
"Don't you have anything that's a little less… brown?" Ruby asked, picking up a fork-full of her food and letting it fall back onto her plate with the thick, lethargic, gloppy fluidity of old motor oil.
"Sadly, no." I said "Can't harvest my garden just yet, and I'm fresh out of vegetables. Might have to pick some up in Vale."
Weiss looked down at her plate, examining the chunky brown mass I had passed to her. I'd made sure to give her an extra helping, since she was nothing but skin and bones.
"… I preferred the omelet- THERE, I SAID IT." Weiss huffed, pouting over her food.
"Well gee, I'm glad you enjoyed it." I said sincerely "Too bad we're not having that tonight, we're having chipped Cram and potato."
More commonly known as Shit on a Plate.
A completely serviceable meal. Chopped, or 'chipped', cram served in a dark gravy with some form of vegetation and starch. Sometimes beans, sometimes greens, sometimes jalapeno for a little kick. There are even people who throw in an ear or two's worth of maize kernels, sick bastards.
It was, however, extremely bland. Not even salt could improve it, as cram tends to be fairly salty.
Naturally, this was just the closest approximation to it, given what was available. Strangely enough, I was able to almost completely recreate it. The only real substitution I needed to make was the cram, but potted meat was potted meat. The less you know about what it was made from, the better.
"It is a little… off-putting." Pyrrha said, grimacing at her plate.
"Well, they can't all be winners." I said, passing out the last of the food. "You want wasteland cooking, you get it. Most of it's not particularly glamorous, and I've been throwing you soft balls the last few nights. Tomorrow we'll try Huevos Yermos or something."
"Wav-o's yer-moms?" Nora asked.
"Way-v-os Yur-mow-s." I said, enunciating "An old pre-war dish Raul taught me. Mostly eggs and beans with hot sauce."
"That just sounds so much better than this." Yang said, pushing her food around her plate. "I mean this just looks… *guh*."
"I'm starting to think you're all just a bunch of picky eaters." I said "You've got perfectly serviceable food in front of you and you're complaining about appearances."
"Looks are part of the meal." Ren said, having the bravery to at least try a bite. His reaction to it said it wasn't the worst thing he'd ever eaten, at least.
"Yeah, but if all you're going to do is judge by looks, you'll miss out on whole worlds of food. Literally in this case." I shot back "It's not the most appealing meal, but it's not supposed to be. This is subsistence food, a depression meal-"
"Well, it's working." Yang said, forcing a bite down "I'm feeling depressed already."
"Har-dee-har" I shot back "You guys just can't appreciate different cultures. There are so many foods I could make that you'd all be too off-put to actually try. Red paste, thick red paste, blood sausages, steaks of every variety-"
"Well at least they sound kinda normal." Jaune said, trying a bite.
"Oh, but that's just scratching the surface." I said, feeling myself get on a roll "Once you start trying new things, mixing them together opens up all new possibilities. Black-Blood sausage and insta-mash, canned beans and Rice, Molerat confit, roasted Buffalo Gourd and agave, Barrel cactus and Yucca slaw, chitterlings- if you can stomach them. Endless possibilities."
"What's a chitterling? Sounds cute." Nora said, sneakily trying to empty her plate onto Ren's.
"Braised molerat intestines." I said "Served stewed, fried, or stuffed to make sausage."
It was already quiet to begin with, since none of them seemed too interested in eating. But somehow the room got so quiet I'm pretty sure I heard someone in the dorm room three doors down stub their toe.
"… Braised… intestines?" Weiss asked, looking thoroughly disgusted "As in their stomachs?"
"Not the stomach, just the digestive tract, two separate parts." I clarified "You could probably use the stomach to make something similar, but I'm not-"
"That's disgusting!" Weiss shouted.
I recoiled a little at the sudden outburst. But, almost as immediately, I returned fire. "Just because you can't appreciate the value of food doesn't make it disgusting."
"The digestive tract includes the colon." Ren said, grimacing as he tried to slide his food back to Nora's plate. She wasn't paying attention, frankly she seemed more disgusted by my description of Chitterlings. Not so cute now, I had to guess. "You know that, right?"
"Yea, which is why we thoroughly clean them before cooking them." I said "You know that sausage casing is made from basically the same thing, right?"
Ren didn't respond, but the grimace he gave implied he either hadn't known that, or preferred not to think on it.
"That's- uh… I don't want to think about that." Jaune said, putting on a brave face as he tried to take another bite of his dinner.
"Probably not a bad idea. But in the wasteland, you waste nothing." I clarified "You turn heads into head cheese, bones into bone broth, and every scrap of meat into something edible or close enough. Steaks, stews, sausages, and whatever other way you can trick yourself into eating it. Though most people are put off by Mojave Mussles."
"Muscles…?" Ruby asked, flexing one of her arms.
"You mean the shellfish, right?" Blake asked.
"What does greed have to do with this? We're talking about food." I said.
"… They're not seafood, are they?" Weiss asked.
"Course not, The Mojave's a desert nowhere near the sea. You can get fish and lakelurk meat from Lake Mead, but that's not the same." I answered.
"Then they're going to be something disgusting." Weiss grimaced.
"Pff, no they're not." I lied.
"Yes they are!" Weiss shouted "Every time you feed us something there's always a twist!"
"Not every time." I said "When you first forced me to cook for you, I'm fairly certain I didn't trick you into eating things you weren't comfortable with. In fact, the only thing I've tricked you into eat was deathclaw eggs. And you loved them!"
"Oh yeah, then what are they!?" Nora squawked, having rebounded from her newfound culinary knowledge "C'mon! We can handle it!"
"Deep fried Gecko testicles." I answered curtly.
The words hung in the air for a moment, as everyone processed them. It was followed shortly by both my teammates and JNPR quietly setting their plates aside. Clearly contemplating what I'd just said. Among them, I noticed Jaune turning a little green around the gills. It looked like he hadn't yet worked up the courage to swallow his food yet either.
"… Not too many things you can do with a Gecko." I continued "You can turn their hides into leather, and their bones into fertilizer. But while the meat is edible, it can be pretty unpalatable at times since they're carnivores. But some crazy bastards calling themselves the Great Khans figured out you could chop thei-"
"STOP!" Weiss snapped "Not another word!"
"What's wron-"
"That's disgusting!" Ruby cried, clasping her ears in a way that suggested she wanted to un-hear what she'd just heard.
"They're not that bad." I tried to continue "They're a little chewy, b-"
"Just stop." Yang said "Please, this is just… ugh."
"I really don't see what the big deal is." I said "We make them with Brahmin 'meat' too. Call 'em meatbal-"
Jaune couldn't keep it down any more, and promptly spat his food back onto his plate. Audibly gagging in the process.
"… Ok, now I see why you wanted me to stop." I said.
"Can we talk about something- anything- else!?" Weiss snapped.
"Well that's what we're supposed to be doing anyway." I agreed "Sorry about that, Jaune."
Jaune waved me off weakly, while Pyrrha put a reassuring hand on his back. It didn't seem like he was going to retch any more than he had, but she was there for support if he needed it.
Guess I went a little too far.
"Right…" I started "Well, since we're already talking about food-"
"No." Weiss immediately cut in.
"We could talk about the culture of the Mojave." I continued pointedly "Talk about some of the smaller things you could expect to see there."
"…" Weiss nodded, but continued to silently glare accusations in my direction.
I waited a moment, just to make sure there weren't going to be any more outbursts from the pinyon gallery. They were all watching me warily by this point, having apparently gotten fed up with my food talk. Pyrrha especially seemed to be a little miffed with me. Can't say I really blamed any of them, I've got an iron stomach for most things, but I really should've been paying better attention.
Probably best to move it something as far away from food as possible.
Which lead to an idea.
"Actually, y'know what?" I asked "Why don't we start with one of you instead?"
"One of us?" Ruby asked "Why?"
"Well, a problem we seem to keep running into is the various bits of culture gap between us." I explained "For example, I find nothing wrong with eating-"
"Don't you dare say it." Weiss said sharply.
"… Eating what's put in front of me." I finished "But, what I find edible, most of you don't. It's the little things that make explaining a little bit harder. So why not let you start this time? See if it can't make everything a bit smoother."
"I'm not sure that'll work as well as you think." Ren said "We may run into the same problems you have."
"True, but we won't know until we try. For all you know, you may be better at explaining things than I am, and my comprehension may be better than I think it is." I explained "Plus, y'know, it'd be nice to get to know you guys a little better."
"D'awww~!" Yang said, giving me a sunny, saccharine smile
"Don't make it weird." I groused "We're all friends, but I hardly know anything about you guys, outside bits and pieces. Maybe it's time we started working on that."
"What if there's stuff we don't want to talk about?" Blake asked.
"Have you forced me to talk about the things I don't want to?" I asked "… outside of the obvious, I mean."
Blake pondered that a moment, then shook her head.
"Then I'd say you can reserve the right to not talk about something as well. Silence is always an option, just not the only one." I answered "So… any objections?"
"I do not see why we shouldn't." Pyrrha said, nodding "With how often we all spend time together, wouldn't it make sense, Jaune?"
"O-oh, yeah." Jaune stuttered "I mean, yeah, we're all friends, so I guess getting to know each other better would probably be good to, since we're already here."
"And occasionally getting insights into other's lives anyway." I said, remembering some of our previous conversations.
"Sounds like a good idea to me." Ruby said "Who wants to go first?"
"How about you or Yang?" I offered "As I understand it, you've both grown up around this area. Since most of my knowledge about this world is centered around Vale, it'd make a good frame of reference for everything else."
"Um… ok." Ruby nodded, thinking "Well…. We grew up on Patch."
"That's the island off the coast, right?" I asked.
"Mhmm." Ruby nodded "There's- um- a city- er… town?"
"You don't sound so sure." I said.
"I… I don't know if it's a city or not." Ruby said "Vale's a city, and Radia is smaller, but doesn't it still count as a city?"
"I don't know, why are you asking me?" I asked.
"I don't know, it's confusing." Ruby groaned.
I took a breath, thinking it over for a minute. "… For our purposes, just call it interchangeable. City works just as well as town."
"Ok…" Ruby said, face scrunching up in thought "There's Signal academy, which is in Radia, the- uh- city I was trying to tell you about."
"Alright, good start." I nodded.
"Radia is sort of the 'main town' on Patch." Yang explained "There's, like, a couple of other small villages on Patch, but Radia is the one closest to Vale."
"I'm guessing it's the only one with a port too." I said "If it's the largest, it's likely the one that gets the most traffic."
"I think there's a couple small ones around the island too, for fishing." Yang nodded "But yeah, most people who visit Patch use the Port through Radia."
"So, they're more hamlets than towns or villages, really." I surmised.
"Hamlet sounds like a word for a small ham." Nora murmured.
I resisted the urge to snort out a little chuckle.
"Ok, so that's a start." I said "But what's it like?"
"It's… small?" Ruby offered.
I stared at Ruby for a moment, before shifting back to Yang.
"Yeah, it's kinda… small." Yang agreed.
"That's not very helpful." I said.
"There's not a lot out there." Ruby pouted "Patch is mostly covered in woods, and Radia isn't that big. If you really need something, you get on the ferry and go to Vale."
"Small, quiet, and all around remote." I said, nodding "Sounds like a nice place. What else is there?"
"Well, there's Signal." Ruby offered, again "The combat school Yang and I went to before coming here."
"Ooh, there's something." I said, a connection kicking off in my brain "What's a combat school? I remember randomly catching flak for not going to one back when I first got here."
"Oh, they're- um- schools where you learn to fight." Ruby said.
"… That is decidedly less than helpful." I said.
Ruby puffed out her cheeks "Well it's what they are."
"Combat schools are just as Ruby said." Weiss cut in "They're where any future huntsman or huntress begins their journey. Alongside general education, you learn the basics of combat, as well as how to make your own weapon."
I nodded "Sounds a lot like this place" I motioned to the academy around us. "Only, y'know, more basic. Suppose that makes sense."
"Vale actually has a couple of Combat schools." Yang said "We have Signal out on Patch, but there's also Pharos here in the city."
"Really?" I asked "Huh, must be some place I haven't seen yet. Probably makes commuting easier."
"Our dad works at Signal too." Ruby said "He teaches a couple different classes and is the sparring instructor. Uncle Qrow too before he, umm…"
"Do I sense a funny story?" I asked.
"…Maybe." Ruby said coyly, before giving me a smirk "But it's off topic."
"Ha, funny." I said "I'll ask another time."
"But our dad still teaches at Signal." Yang said "He was always making sure we kept our grades up too."
"He was so excited when I got accepted into Beacon early." Ruby said, giving a slightly saddened smile "Then he started worrying about both of us leaving, and made us promise to come back and visit."
"At least you know he cares then." I nodded "But, to keep from getting too far off topic, is there anything else notable about the island?"
"Not really, it's a quiet place." Yang said.
"There's lots of woods and Grimm, especially Beowulves and Ursai." Ruby added "But it's not like the Forever Fall, or places outside of Vale."
"Should consider taking a trip over at some point then, sounds like a nice place." I said.
"That'd be nice." Ruby nodded "Now you, is there any place like our home where you're from?"
"Well, it's a desert, so no." I said "But there are some places like Patch all around the Mojave. Relatively isolated locations that tend to get left alone, and aren't such a bad place to settle down. One easy one I can name is Jacobstown, a settlement in the mountains to the northwest of Vegas. Before the bombs, it was a ski resort. Due to the mountain's natural geography, most of the lodge remained intact, and was made into a refuge. It's not too dissimilar from how you described Patch. A quiet, isolated area, surrounded by woods, with the occasional beastie lurking through it. Good people too, though some of them are a bit unstable at times."
"How do you know what Ski-ing is?" Weiss asked.
"Cultural osmosis mostly." I explained "You'd occasionally hear messages regarding the lodge and what it was used for on the radio. Enough of the information stuck around that way you could piece together what it was. I've never actually done it."
Weiss nodded, accepting that "Well, it can be quite fun."
"Good to know." I said, returning the nod "But, that aside, there are other, smaller locations around the Mojave similar to Jacobstown. While most places tend to crop up due to economic and security factors, there's always outliers. The town of Goodsprings, for example, is one such place. It's off one of the main roads leading from Vegas, but stays fairly safe due to one of the roads leading in being a breeding ground for the likes of Cazadors and Deathclaws. Another is Red Rock Canyon, which has the benefit of isolation, geography, and just being close enough to the main trade routes that the bandits that used to live there could easily pillage traveling merchants."
"A place like that exists and wasn't being watched?" Blake asked, skeptical.
"Oh no, it was, most people just knew to leave the Great Khans, the aforementioned bandits, alone. They were brutal, marauding warriors, with a penchant for chems, violence, and not giving two shits about 'civilized' society. That said, however, they weren't without their own code and ethos. It may have been ass backwards and next to non-existent from an outsider's perspective, but they had one. They were far from any measure of good, but having even some form of ethics made them better than the likes of the Legion."
Ignoring the fact that they almost joined up with the Legion, until I got them to realize they were going to be completely annihilated if that happened. Oddly enough, their ethics increased dramatically after I found the book Papa Khan had wanted. Having some measure of knowledge about their purported 'ancestors' gave them something more to strive for. Papa Khan had actually sent me a messenger after the second Battle of Hoover Dam, once more thanking me for finding the book. It had apparently left an impression on them.
"If they were a problem, why didn't someone stop them?" Nora asked innocently.
"They did." I said, thinking about all I knew regarding the Khan's history "They were a hardy group. Believe me though, there was a lot of blood in their history, much of it their own. It's also important to bear in mind that, in the wasteland, our way of handling a problem involves a more permanent solution than the way you might've intended."
Nora's eyes widened a little, perhaps realizing what she'd asked as a sad look crossed her face. "Sorry."
"It's alright, I know you hadn't meant it that way." I intoned "We're getting off topic, but before you ask how I know these things, remember, I've moved around a lot."
Nora nodded her head, clearly still listening intently.
"Now, all those locations aside, there are plenty of other, smaller locations you can make a home for yourself at." I explained "It's not uncommon for people to take up homesteading in the wastes and set up successful farms. Even if you can't build something yourself, there are still enough intact buildings left behind from before the war that you can set up shop pretty much anywhere. Near Vegas, the middle of the desert, in the canyons, in the mountains, heck there's this one cabin at Lake Mead that… That- uh…"
"… Everything ok Six?" Ruby asked
"Y-yeah." I answered "Just been a while since I thought about that last one. Funny that it would come up here is all… anyway, the point I'm trying to make is that there're places like that all over the Mojave if you know where to look. Maybe a bit of a stretch comparing it to Patch, but if it helps you understand, then it works."
"If nothing else, it's interesting." Ren said, picking up a forkful of his dinner and eying it warily.
"But even the ones that aren't isolated can still be fairly decent places to live." I continued "Get enough people together, and you can keep just about any place safe. Assuming you can stomach being around one another. Vegas had a couple such neighborhoods at its fringes. They were largely passed over by people traveling to the Strip, who just wanted to gamble their money away. Effectively meaning they were hiding in plain sight to the rest of the world, barring certain incidents. Since not everyone can afford the Strip, these communities made up the majority of Vegas's overall population. Since they were at the fringes though, they were largely left to their own devices, practically being settlements unto themselves."
"So, they get ignored for being poor." Blake said, rolling her eyes "Hmm, how familiar."
"Same old song and dance no matter where you go." I nodded "But most of the people around Vegas have long since learned it, and how to roll with it too. Most know how to work with each other when times get tough. Good example of that is North Vegas square which is, as named, to the north of the strip. It's not so easily defended compared to some of the others, but it's a reasonably sized trade site for anyone who can use their head. They certainly respect anyone who'd rather try and make it there more than anyone they'd see headed for the Strip."
"The Strip is where all of the major businesses are, correct?" Weiss asked.
"If you could call casinos, dancehalls, luxury hotels, and whorehouses businesses, then yes." I answered "Why do you ask?"
"You've mentioned it a few times now, and I just wished to clarify." Weiss answered primly, glaring down at her so far untouched food.
I expected her to eat the whole plate, she didn't look like she ate enough.
"Well, I'll clarify it a little more then, I guess." I said "The Strip is home to the people running the region, including the Late Robert House. These people, referred to as the families, were tribes that had lived in the region around New Vegas prior to the city being resurrected. From what I understand, they were given the 'opportunity' to come revitalize the city, in exchange for some creature comforts. The basics, like a permanent roof over their heads and hot running water. Though a steady stream of the city's more sought-after indulgences probably helped."
"Is it really that big of a deal?" Jaune asked.
"Which, the Strip, or the benefits?" I asked back.
"Umm… yes?" Jaune said, now confused himself.
"Good, you're learning." I said, smirking "The Strip is treated as a major hub for the region. Despite its attractions and clientele, it houses various other resources. Such as embassies and consulates, which make it pretty important, yeah. But aside from that, you really don't realize the importance of hot water until you've spent a few day- scratch that, weeks on the trail without bathing. Keeping a working water heater in order is a lot harder than you think."
"No kidding." Yang said, giving me a look.
"Seriously." I nodded "Plumbing isn't easy, lots of math involved. But because hot water is a valuable commodity, and there's lot of money to be had and lost, the Strip doesn't let just anyone past the gates. They do a credit check on you before they even let you set foot on the streets outside the casinos. As a result, it tends to be a place where the rich, powerful, and soon to be destitute gather. And because it's also a source of political power in the region… well, I think you can see how things can snowball occasionally."
"I can't see how that would happen at all." Blake said snidely.
"Careful, sarcasm is habit forming." I said "Getting back on topic though, just outside the strip, you have a neighborhood known as Freeside. The polar opposite of North Vegas, Freeside has a far greater degree of security due to its proximity to the Strip. Being closer to the heart of the city as well, many groups and businesses have setup there as well. You'll still run into the occasional thug that wants to shiv you for your pocket change. But since one of two entrances into the Strip is in Freeside, that pocket change could be a tidy sum for any enterprising crook. But there's good to be had as well. The local branch of the Followers of the Apocalypse is set up there, can't imagine a better place for them, honestly. They provide all the education and healing they can to the more downtrodden residents. The place is roamed by a resident street gang called the Kings, who do pretty well at keeping the peace. There's also plenty of clean water and electricity, so it's not without its charms."
"I guess being close to where all the money is means it's better taken care of." Blake added
"Hey, I'm warning you about the sarcasm, next thing you know you'll be responding to every sentence like that." I cautioned.
"Sure I will." Blake said, rolling her eyes.
Then she blinked, realizing what she'd just done. Which earned a chuckle from our teammates.
"I warned you." I said "Careful kitten, don't get tangled up in your new yarn ball."
Blake's cheeks flush slightly, but she didn't say anything.
"Now, between North Vegas and Freeside, there is one more settlement worth mentioning: Westside. If you consider the edge of Vegas to be like a sprawling circle, Westside sits between the other two. As a result, it gets the benefits of neither, and all the trouble of both. Despite that, they're actually the ones prospering the most. They're surprisingly welcoming, they keep a well-trained militia, and they've got a surprisingly lucrative farm set for themselves. Granted, they're not all morally clean, and they've done some questionable things in the past. But I've seen the good they've done for myself, and none of what they did was ever truly done out of malice. Just like everyone else, they're only trying to survive."
"Honestly, it sounds as though you're describing a harder hit neighborhood, you'd find… well, anywhere." Pyrrha said, mulling that statement over.
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"Scary, isn't it?" I said "All the destruction from the war, and a whole world apart, yet some things are still the same."
Pyrrha nodded, looking wistfully at her plate "It sounds like somewhere I used to live, truthfully."
Perhaps without intending to, Pyrrha drew the attention of everyone present to herself. I couldn't help but blink at that either.
"Really?" I asked, intrigued "You used to live in a war-ravaged city?"
"No, no, mercifully." Pyrrha said, waving me off "… But, my mother and I used to live in a rough neighborhood, towards the eastern edge of Argus."
"Argus… That's the Atlas colony near Mistral, right?" I asked.
Pyrrha nodded "Quite… We didn't have a lot of money, when I was younger. My mother worked hard to make a life for me… It wasn't an easy upbringing."
"I can understand." I said, nodding "Spent some time in Freeside. Lotta kids there living on the streets or forced to find work."
Something I'd been working to fix during my tenure in charge. But there are battles easier fought than won.
Pyrrha chuckled, a warmth I couldn't describe was carried with it. "In a way, that's much what I had to do as well. I found work, helped my mother and I be somewhere better."
"Is that why you fought in the tournaments?" Weiss asked, clearly listening intently.
Pyrrha nodded again "Indeed. There wasn't much I could do to help. My mother worked to make certain I could receive an education, so I felt I needed to return that, somehow. Fighting in the tournaments was the only way I could see succeeding."
"You were a prize fighter?" I asked, once more surprised.
"In a way." Pyrrha nodded "I didn't win immediately, but, after a few tries, I won."
"You're a champion?" I asked.
"Of course she's a champion." Weiss said "She's placed first in the Mistral Regional Tournament four years in a row, and graduated the top of her class from Sanctum Academy."
"No shit?" I asked "Well, that's news to me."
"How did you not know that?" Ruby asked "We've all been friends for months now."
"Because no one's ever actually brought it up before." I said "You all consider it common knowledge, but it's never been brought up in polite conversation before." I turned towards Pyrrha "The few times I've actually seen you fight, I just assumed you were naturally talented."
"Well, maybe a little." Pyrrha said, bashfully looking down, a soft smile on her face.
"Guess you can tack hard-working onto that epithet as well." I said "Takes more than talent to hold a title like that for four years and be considered the best of your class."
I couldn't help but notice the tips of Pyrrha's ears turn a little red. Her hand shooting up and rubbing the back of her neck. "It wasn't an easy road. But I made it all the same, and am happy with what I accomplished."
"As you should be." I nodded "Having spent some time on the gladiatorial circuit myself, I know it's not an easy road to walk, nor easy to continue down for long."
Pyrrha's eyes brightened suddenly, and they came back up to look at me. "There are tournaments where you are from?"
"Well, not as such." I said "Hard to really organize something like that in a place like the Mojave… But there are places that'll let you fight. Put on a show for the people, earn some reputation as a fighter, and get a nice paycheck on the other side."
"So… fight clubs?" Yang asked.
"Again, not quite, gladiator fights are a sadly accurate description for them." I continued "Between Freeside and Westside, there's this underground fighting arena called the Thorn."
"So a fight club." Yang said.
"No, I mean it was literally underground." I explained "The place's founder and show runner, a woman by the name of Red Lucy, set the place up in what used to be the area's sewer system. It was actually remarkably clean for what it was."
"It certainly doesn't sound it." Weiss needled, a muted look of disgust on her face.
"To be fair, it'd had a few centuries to dry up and air out." I offered "We weren't rolling around in sewage down there, otherwise there'd be no fights."
"Still though, a sewer?" Blake asked.
"No one ever said it was glamorous." I countered "The fights took place in what used to be a cistern. Combatants would check in with Lucy, then descend into the arena after they'd decided what they wanted to fight. They could bring whatever tools and armor they wanted into the fight. There was only one rule about the whole thing: Kill what you're fighting or die trying."
"That's a little harsh." Ruby said, clearly off-put.
"Chalk it up to Lucy having founded the place around some idea about 'enlightenment through combat'." I said "But most of the things you were put in the ring with weren't tamed animals either, they were the same kinds of beasts you'd find roaming the wastes. Everything from radroaches and giant Mantises to Cazadores and Deathclaws. You got to choose how many of them you wanted to fight at once too."
"Then you were dubbed a champion for surviving, I assume." Ren said "With such harsh combat, surviving should carry some weight with it."
"Well, yes and no." I explained "Just winning a fight or two would earn you some credit, but wouldn't mean anything if you couldn't keep doing it. A lot of people can get lucky, most can't do it consistently."
"Then how did you do it?" Jaune asked, clearly intrigued.
"Kept throwing myself into the ring, that's how." I said "Didn't have luck, but I could take a hit. I was young and needed the money, at the time it just seemed easy enough. Nobody really batted an eye at it at first."
"What changed?" Pyrrha asked, watching me intently now.
"Decided to do three consecutive matches against three deathclaws simultaneously." I answered
My teammates and JNPR fell silent, looking at me dumbstruck.
"…Wasn't in a good place at the time" I said "-figured doing something stupid was easier than the alternative."
"Three Deathclaws?" Yang asked, disbelieving "That giant lizard-grimm from initiation, you fought three of those. At once?"
"They weren't grimm when I fought them." I corrected.
"You did that three times?" Jaune asked.
"And made out with a nice chunk of change to boot." I nodded.
"… I'm sorry, but I don't believe it." Weiss said shaking her head "This time I'm almost certain you're lying."
"Believe what you want, I know what I've done." I said, turning back to Pyrrha "Point stands, I've been in the ring too. I've got an idea of what it's like."
"It certainly is a different sensation." Pyrrha agreed, a reserved tone to her voice "The roar of the crowd, the cold lights overhead, the ring of the bell-"
"How the air feels so hot around you, it's almost boiling." I said "The trickle of sweat down your back as you struggle and strain."
Pyrrha's eye suddenly went wide, brightening.
"The feeling like your heart is about to burst out of your chest it's beating so hard." I continued "The shock that goes through you when you manage to get a hit in."
"The pain when someone manages to hit you." Pyrrha said, disbelieving "How quiet everything else seems beyond who's in front of you."
A smirk wormed its way onto my face. "That little niggling of fear in your gut about what might happen if you lose… You ever get that one?"
Pyrrha didn't answer right away. She sat there, looking at me in equal parts disbelief, melancholy, and isolation. Strange to see among friends. Then she blinked, and they vanished with a bright smile and a warm laugh. Those almost apparent feelings replaced by elation, acceptance, and camaraderie. "Every time!" She laughed.
"Yeah, that's one that doesn't go away." I nodded "Good to know you ain't the only one feelin' it either."
Pyrrha nodded, the warm smile never leaving her face.
"So, he's telling the truth then?" Jaune asked, baffled.
"I'd certainly believe it." Pyrrha answered, giving her leader a smile that could disarm an entire battalion.
"Whoa." Jaune said, looking my way once more. An action that was, once again mirrored by everyone else as the disbelief shattered across the room. If the resident champion could believe I knew what I was talking about, then I wasn't just blowing hot air.
"Y'all need to stop doubting me." I said "You'd be surprised by some of the stuff I've done."
"Uh, no kidding?" Yang asked, setting her plate aside and leaning back on her hands.
"This is certainly a surprise." Pyrrha continued "Almost everyone knows about my victories, to think there's someone just as skilled here and yet no one's noticed."
"I try not to advertise." I said "Perhaps we could spar sometime though? Wouldn't mind trading licks with a fellow champ."
"Y-yes." Pyrrha nodded, a bright smile on her face "That sounds quite enjoyable."
"Ooh- ooh! I want to fight too!" Nora cut in, giving me one of her patented grins
I instantly got one of those squirrely feelings in my gut that said I'd just opened a can of worms.
"You did that for money?" Ren asked.
"Hey, people do worse for it." I shrugged.
"I'm more surprised you've got a system of currency, actually." He corrected.
"Well, obviously." I said "What, did you expect us to gamble with shiny rocks or something?"
"Well, most currency was just shiny rocks at one point." Ren shot back.
"… Touché." I relented, feeling the conversation shifting away from the topic we started on. "But the Mojave, and the wasteland at large for that matter, does have a currency and economic system. Depending on where you are, it might even have several. The Mojave certainly qualifies, given the number of people coming over from the NCR to gamble, and the Legion knocking at the door."
"There were actually people that would trade with them?" Ruby asked "Isn't that kind of a bad idea?"
"Not to sing them any praises, but there was some logic to it." I admitted, begrudgingly "The Legion was good about keeping their roads clean, apparently. Meant they were safer to travel and trade on. They also dealt in gold and silver which, on paper, would make their currency far more valuable than the standard. But good luck finding anyone in the Mojave who'd accept them. Anything stamped by the Legion was practically worthless since the majority of people know better than to deal with them."
"Why not just melt it back down?" Ren asked "If the only problem is that it was made by an enemy, why not melt and re-cast it?"
"A reasonable suggestion." I agreed "Unfortunately, actually finding the tools to do it properly is a pain in the ass. Even if you could, then you'd need to get other tools to re-stamp it back into coinage, unless you want to carry around full-size bullion. Not to mention that gold is extremely dense, so carrying around ingots of it isn't the brightest idea. Then you run into logistical issues of who can even realistically trade with gold in large quantities. Really, the problems just start to snowball from there."
Ren nodded, accepting the answer with contemplative silence.
"A good notion to be sure," I said "-but realistically, the only good re-smelting and casting it would do would be to stock your gold reserves until you're ready to either cut it back down again or buy in bulk."
"Which I imagine would make it valuable to some of the other groups in your world." Weiss said "If they are trying to re-establish themselves, then making sure their currency is worth something is rather important."
"Again, a valid point." I assented "Trouble is, you'd need to make sure people have a reason to respect your currency in the first place. The Legion used gold and silver, but were so reviled that most people wouldn't accept it. On the flip-side of the denarii, you had the NCR and their dollars"
"Doll-er?" Nora asked.
"Think of them like the Lien here, which they pretty much are." I explained "Styling themselves after the pre-war world, they tried to copy the currency prevalent from the time. Easy enough, considering there are bundles of it still floating around via barter and trade. It's more widely accepted than legion coin, but not worth anywhere near as much."
"Why's that?" Ruby asked, finally mustering the nerve to take a bite of dinner. She grimaced, but didn't find it bad enough to warrant spitting out.
"Because the NCR uses Fiat currency, rather than one backed directly by gold." I continued "A while back, they got into a war with the Brotherhood of Steel, whom we've discussed previously. One of the Brotherhood's preferred methods of hurting the NCR was making raids on their treasury. While the NCR managed to push the brotherhood out of their territory eventually, they still lost a good chunk of their economic power in the process. Supposedly they used to mint coins much as the Legion does, or rather did, prior to that."
"What's a Fiat currency?" Jaune asked.
"A type of money backed by a governing body rather than a valuable commodity such as gold." I answered, motioning to his plate "Let's say that plate of yours is a giant coin. I claim it's part of my currency, and that it has a value of one. It gains an inherent worth based on that, and it's my duty as the currency's backer to make sure it stays worth something."
Jaune blinked and looked down at his plate uncertainly, so did his teammates, and mine.
He looked back up at me. "But it's a plate." He said, clearly confused.
"Yes, but a plate that has a value of one." I continued.
"But nobody else here thinks that." Weiss said "It's just a plate with food on it."
"And that's the problem with Fiat currency." I explained "The money is only worth something if people actually believe it's worth something. If you can't convince them of that, you're left with plates whose monetary value is worth less than the value of the materials making it."
"Which is why NCR money is worth less." Weiss concluded.
"Exactly." I said "Because people don't believe the NCR can make good on their claims, the value of their dollar is worth less as a result. Which can turn into a feedback loop when your own people stop believing in you, because then you get less power to back those claims, making your money worthless, meaning people won't support you, meaning less power-"
"So, what, their money revolves around 'think happy thoughts and it'll work out'?" Yang asked.
"… In a funny way, yeah, kinda." I admitted "But that's what happens when you want to try and take charge of your economy. They'd probably just have been better going back to backing their currency with water. Weaker though it may have been, the stability is worth more than you think."
"Why would you use water?" Weiss asked.
"Well, what could be more valuable in a desert wasteland than that which gives life?" I asked in return.
"Um… breathing?" Nora offered, though I couldn't tell if she was being serious or not... frankly, she had a point.
"… Not the point." I said, muscling forward "But that's the reason water is used to back most currency. In a world where clean water is a valued commodity, it's safer to use it to back your currency, than just try and trade everything unevenly."
"Emphasis on clean." Ren said "I imagine not just any water would work."
"You'd be correct." I agreed "Most water you'll find is either mixed with other liquid soluble nastiness or irradiated. Your money's not worth much if every time someone touches it they catch dysentery."
"Ok, so the legion uses gold-" Weiss said, clearly trying to process everything "The NCR uses their imagination, who uses water?"
"The rest of the wasteland, obviously." I said "You don't need centralized government for trade to still exist. You just need to have something with an agreed upon degree of value."
Weiss rolled her eyes, then hoisted up her dinner. "So you expect us to believe you consider dinner plates to be valuable and used as a currency?"
"Don't be ridiculous." I chided "Dinner plates are too big to carry around, and way too fragile. We use the bottle caps from beer and soda bottles."
"…" Weiss's eye started twitching.
"You're just messing with us now, aren't you?" Yang asked flatly.
"Why would I do that?" I asked, reaching into the box under my cot "Heck, I think I've actually got some here, gimme a sec…"
I fished around in the box blindly for a moment. I could have just pulled the whole thing up rather than just feel around, but that would've made sense. Plus, it also wasn't so big a deal if I didn't have them. I could always prove it at a later time.
But, it turned out I was right, and I produced a small coin purse from my box of goods.
I opened the little leather sack and got a look at my valuables. Most of my bottle caps were from Sunset sarsaparilla and beer, but there were some varieties of nuka cap mixed in. What NCR bills I had were kept in tightly rolled wads, mostly to keep them from getting crumpled under the various caps and legion coin.
And there was a lot of legion coin. I may not have been able to trade it but that hadn't kept me from claiming it off of every legionnaire I came across. I'm stubborn, it's shiny, and I'd spent most of my time skirting poverty for one reason or another.
This wasn't the only pouch I had like this either, just the one I carried around the most frequently. I kept a few others with the rest of supplies, and many more back at the Lucky 38. Never keep all your eggs in one basket, or coins in one purse.
I'd taken to stashing my Lien in there as well, just for the sake of convenience.
I pulled a couple of the bottle caps from the pouch, giving them a little shake in my hand. The old steel clinked against each other as I held them out to be seen.
"Most bottle caps come off of either Nuka cola or Sunset Sarsaparilla." I explained "Occasionally you'll find beer bottles still topped with them, but that's pretty rare in the Mojave."
My teammates said nothing, just staring at the dinky little circlets of crimped steel in my hand. JNPR was doing much the same, but Nora was at least amused, if her smile was anything to go by.
"… That is so dumb." Yang said, clearly failing to grasp the value of money.
"Next to no one makes them anymore, so their value is pretty much stable." I continued "They're abundant, since they'd normally be considered a waste product. Most importantly though: it's almost impossible to make new ones. Meaning no one can devalue it. There're obviously more valuable things out there, but caps have stuck around as a stabilized, roughly central currency because they're so stable. You could back them with anything and achieve the same result really, water is just the standard because… well, everyone needs it."
"… It's still dumb." Yang said.
"Call it what you want, if it works, it works." I answered.
Yang shrugged "Guess there's no changing your mind then."
I looked at her in confusion. "No, why would you even assu-… Oh."
Yang quirked a smirk my way. "I knew you'd get it, guess I was right on the money."
"Stop." I said.
"Why?" She smiled brightly "My jokes are gold."
"Speaking of gold." Ren said, clearly having more drive to end the pain than I did "Back when we started doing this, we pulled out a gold coin."
"Good memory." I nodded, fishing back into my pouch and producing an aureus "What of it?"
"Those would be the Legion coins you were referring to, yes?" he asked.
"Correct." I nodded.
"If no one accepts them unless they're working with the Legion, why do you have them?" he asked.
"An excellent question, with an obvious answer." I said, flipping the coin into the air before catching it "Even if it's minted in a form no one accepts, it's still gold. You yourself listed off what to do with it based on that fact."
"Ok, but why do you have them?" Weiss asked, cutting in "How did you get them?"
"Ah, that's a little trickier to answer." I said "Sometimes people would stash large quantities of it away for later, again: gold. But the Legion also paid its soldiers and assassins with it as well. They've actually got silver versions of these coins called denarii too, though I think some of you have seen me trade with them here."
"Oh yeah." Yang said nodding "Guess they work here, silver-linings, huh?"
"…" I said nothing, I wasn't going to encourage her.
"Are you saying you… worked for the Legion?" Weiss asked.
"Fuck no." I said, firm and immediate "… But I did run afoul of them, after a fashion. Given that I'm willing to defend myself, they certainly going to be putting it to any good use."
"… Are you saying you took that after you killed them?" Jaune asked, looking mightily disturbed.
"It's hardly a crime in the Mojave." I replied "In fact, not looting someone's corpse is almost more of an insult. Like saying they're so worthless the only value they had was in breathing."
Jaune's disturbed look spread to the rest of his teammates and mine. I wasn't entirely surprised. They'd been raised on civilized sensibilities and decorum. Frankly it was probably better they didn't have to know what looting a corpse was like anyway.
I held the aureus between my thumb and index finger and looked at it. Funny to think, I could never use them or my denarii back in the Mojave. Here though, they most certainly had value, and no one batted an eye at them. Gold was gold, silver was silver, cash was king, and as long as it was legitimate, they didn't seem to care about its source.
Though, technically, I was devaluing it by introducing more of it into circulation…
"Actually, I've got a question." I said, holding the coin out again "How much do you think this thing is worth?"
"You mean you don't know?" Weiss asked.
"Obviously." I answered "I picked up a book on how to determine the value of gold, but unfortunately it was more a book about economics than anything practically useful. In hindsight, that should've been more obvious."
"… have you never bothered to grab a newspaper?" Weiss asked "There's a whole section devoted to economics."
"Who reads newspapers?" I asked "They're all propaganda and advertisements."
"…" Weiss pinched the bridge of her nose.
"All I want to know is how much they're worth." I groused.
Weiss gave me a withering look, then pulled out her scroll, sliding it open. Her fingers gliding across the transparent pane in furtive frustration.
"What are you doing?" I asked.
"Do you know how much one of those coins weighs?" She asked, completely ignoring me.
"…" I slid the aureus into the palm of my hand, held it there for a second. "… Somewhere between one and two ounces, I think. Measurements on these things are less accurate than the Legion thought they were."
"Very well." Weiss said, tapping at her scroll a bit more. Her eyes lit up a moment later, and she nodded. "If they are on the lower end, then their current market value is one thousand, eight hundred and fifteen Lien."
My hand instinctively snapped closed over the coin.
"… You mind repeating that?" I asked "I think I misheard you just now."
Weiss quirked an eyebrow at me, but assented "One thousand, eight hundred and fifteen."
"On- one thousand-" I stuttered.
If I hadn't already been sitting, I'm pretty sure that would've knocked me on my ass. My teammates must have been picking up on the fact that I was struggling to process this. Judging by the looks they were giving me.
I slowly re-opened my hand, staring down at the gold piece in my palm. The image of Caesar in the time before his death still embossed on the soft, lustrous metal.
"… nearly two grand, you say." I said, working the piece back betwixt my fingers "Is that measured in troy or imperial ounces?"
"A troy ounce?" Weiss asked, visibly confused.
"A unit of measure reserved for precious metals." I said numbly "It's only slightly larger than a normal ounce. Should be more surprised that you use the imperial system here, but I'm feeling a bit off right now."
"Imperial?" Blake asked "It's called the Valian system."
"Mhmm." I said, only half paying attention.
"I'll have you know that Atlas is developing a far more accurate metric system based around the weight of water and the circumference of Remnant." Weiss said haughtily.
"…That's stupid." I answered.
"Stupid!?" Weiss asked, oddly offended "You use water to make bottle caps valuable, you have no authority!"
"Yeah, water." I said, too busy running numbers in my head to formulate a response.
"… uh-" Jaune grunted "You ok, Six?"
"Y-yeah." I said "Just… weighing this thing out in my hand."
"How heavy is it?" Ruby asked.
"Oh, y'know-" I said, a lilt to my voice "About an ounce, ounce and a half… might even be pushing two with some of the poorly minted ones."
Ruby's silver eyes grew as wide as her dinner plate.
"… Snowflake, what's the price of silver?" I asked, slowly coming to terms with a reality that'd apparently been here this whole time.
Weiss quirked another eyebrow at me "Silv-"
"I have a lot- and I mean a lot more silver than I do gold." I explained "Silver will be a drop in the bucket by comparison, but I want to know."
"Is it really that big of a deal?" Yang asked.
I held the aureus up for her to see. "I'm holding upwards of two grand between my fingers right now. I want to know."
Yang gave me an uncertain look, then turned to Weiss. Weiss looked between the two of us for a moment, then tapped at her scroll a couple more times. "… Roughly twenty lien for an ounce." She answered.
Which frankly, seemed far more reasonable, but didn't change anything.
I had hundreds, maybe thousands of aureii.
And I certainly had thousands, if not tens of thousands of denarii.
I'd been actively working to stomp out the Legion and had been fending off their assassins for a long time. Which is a long period of collecting back pay.
Pay I'd never been allowed to actually seize, until now.
"… I- uh…" I stuttered "… I think I might be rich."