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Dust in the Wind (RWBY x Fallout: New Vegas)
Poker in the Face (Anniversary 2022)

Poker in the Face (Anniversary 2022)

I looked across the table to Yang, slowly and methodically drumming my fingers on the table.

"You sure about that sunshine?" I asked "It doesn't take much to be wrong."

Yang's eyes creased into a hard squint as she stared me down. Her violet orbs twitching from side to side as she did so, searching for a weakness. "I think I can take my chances."

"Are you so sure about that?" I asked again, voice even and smooth "This isn't something you can so easily feel out. All it takes is one small miscalculation, and you can lose it all."

Yang's eyes creased further, her lips drawing tightly together in a pinched look.

"It wouldn't be the first time you've underestimated me either." I said "Remember that time you had me play a board game with you?"

"…" Yang exhaled softly through her nose, and set her cards face down on the table pushing them away from herself. "I fold."

A smirk spread across my lips. "That's what I like to hear."

I set my own cards face down on the table. A two-three, five-six, and eight high card. She could've taken me to the cleaners with a hand like that. Not that she needed to know that. My hands swept out over the table, pulling the pot towards me.

Over the course of making dinner, the topic of how wastelanders pass the time came up. Most of the answers were the usual, reading, training, surviving, and a litany of more mature activities. However, given the Mojave's rich tradition of gambling, I'd also told them about the games played in the casinos. Which, invariably, led to my trying to explain Caravan to them. I still had my cards, so I tried my best to explain the rules to them. Unfortunately, I suck at the game, even though it's all about how you stack your deck. So, after fumbling my way through a hand of that, I offered up poker instead. Which they all agreed to, since it was more than just sitting there and listening to me ramble. We pulled a couple tables together and gathered around them, or under them in Zwei's case, who was now napping peacefully by everyone's feet.

I thought about teaching them Hold'em at first, but decided to stick with Five Card instead. Hold'em was probably simpler to teach, but offered less chance, and probably wouldn't be as fun for a beginner. In place of poker chips, we substituted my bottle caps and Legion coinage. It was all in good fun anyway, so I didn't mind playing the House.

After fishing out the appropriate number of cards from my stockpile, I went through a hand or two to help iron things out for them. Teach them about hands, betting, raising and folding. The important functions of actually being able to play the game well.

However, I only briefly touched on the importance of being able to bluff your opponents as well. A poker-face being a colloquialism for how well one can control their expression, I figured it wasn't necessary. Nobody said you had to be honest in these sorts of games, and I figured they picked up on that. As long as they weren't out-and-out cheating anyway. Besides which, after the first few hands for explanations, the gloves came off. We were playing for real.

Ironically, given that there were nine of us playing, we had just enough cards to actually play a proper game.

I began raking the pot towards me, and stacked everything up properly. No sense in getting everything disorganized.

"I call shenanigans." Nora grumbled.

"Perhaps you shouldn't smile whenever you've got a good hand then." I said, smirking "Take a few lessons from your boy toy, he's got a good poker face."

Ren looked at me blandly, exemplifying exactly what I said despite probably trying to look nonplussed.

"He's not my boy… toy?" Nora asked, the last word causing her to trip up.

"Well if he's not your boyfriend he's gotta be something else, right?" I asked coolly "I'd say you two are well past friends by this point, if you've really known each other as long as you say."

Ren blinked blandly at me, clearly able to read that I was trying to screw with them.

Nora, on the other hand, apparently missed the memo, and turned as bright a shade of red as Ruby's hood. I could've sworn steam was coming off her head too.

"W-we're not together-together." Nora defended.

"I never said you were." I said back "Now I think you're just trying to put words in my mouth."

"Well, I mean, they are partners." Jaune offered "So doesn't that already make them more than friends?"

"Depends, would you say the same about you and Pyrrha?" I asked

A wheezing breath escaped Jaune as he gave me a look like I'd just stabbed him. Pyrrha, meanwhile looked frantically between myself and Jaune. Like a small animal suddenly caught in the headlights of an oncoming car.

Before she could react however, Jaune sucked the wind back into him and sputtered. "P-point taken."

Jaune looked to Pyrrha, and gave her a pained, worried smile. Pyrrha returned it to him, looking to be quite pained herself. Though, the moment he looked away, her expression fell notably.

"You know, you're being more sarcastic than usual." Blake said, giving me a calculating look.

"I'm on a hotstreak." I said "You should try it, I feel immaculate."

"But you've lost more hands than you've won." Blake said, giving me a confused look.

I shrugged "I feel like a winner in my book though, so I'll take what I can get."

Ruby began drumming her hands against the table, silver eyes glittering. "C'mon, deal'em, I'm starting to get a rush!"

"That's the spirit!" I said, gathering everyone's cards "Nurture your inner gambler!"

"You're a bad influence." Yang said, giving me a dry look.

"No, I'm teaching a valuable lesson about reading people and being aware of your situation." I said "That makes me an educator, and therefore a great influence."

Yang just chuckled and shook her head. "Just deal."

I gathered the cards back into a single deck and began shuffling them, making a small show of it as I did. Normally, when you see someone doing that, you worry that they're cheating. I wasn't, I was just being silly. Beside the fact that there was no sense in cheating when I clearly had a few unfair advantages already. It was also only for fun, so really, what was the point?

I finished shuffling the cards and, after everyone anteed up, began to deal them. Five cards each, as was the game. The table fell silent as everyone began to look over their cards. I could see that most of them were doing their best to try and keep a straight face. But some of them stuck out as pretty terrible. Nora for one, Ruby for another. Ren, Pyrrha, Nora, and Jaune called. Weiss huffed and folded her hand, returning her cards. Yang eyed the pot for a moment, then nodded and called. Blake called as well, which then left Ruby.

Who proceeded to raise by two aureus.

"We can make it more interesting." Ruby said, smiling.

"…" I set my cards down on the table. "Fold."

Given that Ruby had raised the pot, the order cycled back around once more. To see who would stay in and who left.

One by one, everyone dropped their hands.

When it came back to Ruby, she looked disappointed.

"Why'd you all quit?" Ruby asked.

"You've got a terrible poker face for one." I said "For two, you basically just doubled the pot in a single bet. Either your cards are really good, you've figured out bluffing, or you've got no clue what a normal bet looks like. Of those three: I'd believe one, doubt another, and laugh at the third."

"…" Ruby pouted and dragged her chips in "You're no fun."

"Learn to keep a straight face." I shot back.

Ruby stuck her tongue out at me, and I repeated the previous rhythm of preparing the next hand. This time passing it to Nora for dealing.

"This is actually quite fun." Pyrrha said "I don't believe I've ever had a chance to play before."

"Poker's a classic." I agreed "Like Go-Mirelurk and Old Ms. Nanny, or Blackjack and B.S. if you want something a bit different."

"B.S.?" Nora chirped.

"The name's Bullshit, but I didn't want to offend your delicate ears." I said "It's a game about bluffing, even more so than poker. We can try it another time."

"What's wrong with the name?" Nora asked.

"Nothing, I told you, it's Bullshit." I said.

"Yeah, but what's wrong with it?" she asked again.

"Nothing, it's just…" I caught what she was trying to do, an immediately stopped "Cute, leave being a smartass to the professionals."

Nora hummed and began passing the cards out as everyone anteed once more.

I checked my cards: Two pairs, eights and aces, plus a three. All black suits, Deadman's hand.

Casually, I craned my neck to look like I was stretching. Really, I was just making sure my back wasn't to the door. Naturally, given my luck, it was. The door was closed, so that would buy me a second if they had to open it.

Unless the hypothetical shooter just decided to blind fire, in which case I was pretty much screwed.

I finished craning and turned back to the table, then everyone took their turn again. Ren raised by two denarii, Nora called and dropped most of her hand, Pyrrha called, and Jaune folded. Weiss, once again folded immediately, while Yang dropped two cards and called. Blake hemmed over her cards for a moment, then rubbed her bag-heavy eyes and folded. Ruby, having hopefully learned from the previous hand, called and kept her cards, scowling all the while.

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Looking down at my own hand, I called and passed in the hole card. I got a king in return, which didn't help on its own, but was better than a three.

"Last call for bets." I said "Anyone sweetening?"

Ren shook his head, no.

Nora, still practicing being a smartass, dropped a bottlcap in. "Raise!"

Ren looked at her blandly, and Nora smiled back at him.

Pyrrha chuckled and called, Jaune followed suit. Yang and Ruby followed after them, then me. Weiss, meanwhile just kept scowling at the table. The turn made its way back to Ren, who called his partner's bet.

"Alright, show'em." I said, and fanned my cards out "Two pair and a high card."

Ren nodded, and showed his hand. Three fives, a four and a three. "Three of a kind."

Nora blew a raspberry. "My highest card was an Ace."

That drew a small chuckle out of me.

"I have a two, three, four, five, and six." Pyrrha said, laying her cards down "That's a… straight?"

"Correct." I said "And is currently the winning hand unless someone does better."

Ren nodded to Pyrrha. "Well played."

Pyrrha smiled in return.

Jaune produced a pair of queens, which dropped him among the rest of us.

Yang produced a three of a kind herself, all twos. "Aw man."

"I call shenanigans." Ruby whined, producing two pairs of her own, sevens and eights.

"Considering who won, I'd say you lost fair and square." I said, motioning to Pyrrha "Congrats, the pot is yours."

Pyrrha beamed winner's smile and dragged her winnings towards herself.

"This is stupid." Weiss complained, pouting angrily.

"You could've stayed in this hand if you wanted." I told her "Part of the fun is in the gamble, choosing to fold each hand you get is a guaranteed way to lose."

"I just don't see the point in playing this game." Weiss huffed.

"Maybe it's because you don't actually stand to win anything." I ribbed, though a thought occurred to me "… You never got to play many games as a kid, did you?"

Weiss's pout turned into a glare that could chip steel.

"Sorry, cheap shot, I know." I said, checking the time. I needed to get going soon. "… Y'know what, how about you and me play a hand?"

"Why would I do that?" Weiss asked, looking at me blandly "Clearly I haven't wanted to play any other round, why would I want to play this one?"

"Because unlike every other hand you've chosen to quit, there'd actually be something on the line." I said.

Weiss looked at me skeptically. "Why would I have an interest in actually gambling something?"

"Because then you'd actually stand to win something." I said "You can't tell me that the prospect of a tangible reward doesn't tantalize you. Even just a smidge."

Weiss continued to look blandly at me, keeping a good poker face herself. However, I could make out the small glitter her eyes seemed to pick up. Vocal about it or not, the idea of actually winning something seemed to resonate with her. "… And what would I win?"

"Were you to win?" I said "A one time, no strings attached, expiration-free, favor from me. Good for anything that does not involve me doing something grossly unethical."

Weiss's eyes lit up. "A favor?"

"Likewise, that would be what you bet as well." I said "The same rules apply. No expirations, nothing unethical or inappropriate, just a single favor that I can burn up any time I want."

Weiss pondered the request for a moment, considering it, then focused back to me. "If I were to ask you to remove you helmet, for example?"

"I'd deny it. Just like I'd expect you to deny my asking you to remove your clothes in front of me. Highly unethical." I said succinctly.

Weiss's face flushed slightly. "Right… but almost anything then?"

"Correct." I agreed, looking to the rest of the present players. All of whom were watching with thinly veiled interest.

Weiss took a moment longer to ponder the bet. Then she puffed out her cheeks, completely unexpected really, and fixed me with a stony look. "Very well. Let's play."

I smirked "That's what I like to hear."

Everyone else leaned back as Nora passed me the cards. This would be a short hand, then I'd be taking off. No additional bets to be made all we'd have to do was focus on bluffing and trading. Folding was basically out of the question.

I got my five cards and was glad I had my mask on, because I wouldn't have been able to keep the smirk off my face.

Four of a kind, all nines.

Weiss meanwhile, looked at her cards blandly, but in could see her brow crinkly slightly. A barely suppressed glare.

"You doin' okay over there, Snowflake?" I asked, trading in my hole card. Getting an Ace in return.

"I'm fine." Weiss answered, passing in a card of her own. What she got in return had her face light up slightly, but overall, whatever her cards, she wasn't pleased.

"I hope so, because it's time: Show'em." I said laying my cards down "Four of a kind, Nines."

Weiss's expression fell, the light falling from her eyes as her expression became crestfallen. She scowled as she turned her cards towards me. "High card… Ace."

"Damn, that-" I started, then immediately stopped.

There was definitely an Ace there.

Plus a King

A Queen

A Jack

And a fucking ten.

I stared silently at the cards for the longest time. Then looked at Weiss. She was still glaring silently at me, in an expression of genuine frustration. My eyes darted around the table, just to make sure I wasn't the only one seeing it.

Nope. Everyone else clearly saw it too.

Because they started chuckling, if not outright laughing.

Weiss's face grew red with what I could only assume was embarrassment.

"… Well?" She asked "You won, you don't need to laugh."

"… Um, Weiss." I said "Do you know what hand you have right now?"

Weiss scowled at me and sighed "High card, the lowest one in the game, right?"

"That's- uh-" I stuttered.

"Which is stupid!" Weiss said "I've got the highest cards all in my hand it should be more than that!"

"Um, Weiss-" Ruby tried to cut in.

Weiss however, ignored her partner "-and this is easily the FIFTH TIME it's happened!"

"…" I thought about the number of hands we'd played up to this point, and the fact that Weiss had folded each time. She had not once actually drawn a card, only a folded.

She'd been dealt that hand at least four times, and never used it. Four.

"… Snowflake, that's a royal flush." I said, after she took a moment to breathe.

Weiss looked at me testily. "And?"

"And, it's the winning hand in Five Card." I explained "As in: No other hand beats it."

"…" Weiss's expression lit up suddenly, shocked, probably at both the information and her own ignorance.

"You had that hand five times?" I asked.

"… I won?" Weiss asked.

"Were you not listening when I explained the hands to you!?" I asked.

"…" Weiss's arms shot into the air and she rose triumphantly, which disturbed Zwei under the table. A huge smile crossed her face "I WON!"

"… Yeah." I agreed, shaking my head "You did, and could've won more often if you actually tried."

She looked down at me haughtily. "And now you owe me a favor."

"Because of course I do." I groused, checking the time and rising from my own seat. "It's time for me to get moving anyway. You want to cash it in now or save it for something important?"

Weiss continued to look at me haughtily for a moment, a smirk on her lips. "Allow me a moment, I want to savor this."

"…" I smirked "As you wish, not a smart way to burn a favor, but it's your call."

A moment passed, before Weiss's smirk evaporated "Wait- no! That's not what-"

"Too late, you've burned your moment." I said "Syntax is a fickle thing."

"But… but that's not fair." Weiss said "I won."

"You did, and I gave you the moment you asked for, fulfilling my favor." I said "I feel no further obligation to field your requests."

Weiss looked at me, dumbfounded, for a moment. Then her expression fell. "You… you didn't even give me a chance to ask for something."

"Again, I gave you what you asked for. You just weren't thinking about it when you did it." I said and began to make sure I had everything ready to go.

"Oh let it go Weiss." Yang said, waving me off "C'mon, let's play another hand."

Weiss looked to Yang for a moment, then down the table at everyone. They were all looking at her expectantly, but welcomingly. Clearly, they wanted her to play with them. Despite clearly seeing the girl had luck like a Two-Headed Coin Flip when it came to the cards. I could see that she wasn't put off by the prospect either.

"… Fine, I guess another hand wouldn't hurt." Weiss answered, but settling back into her seat.

"Yeah!" Ruby cheered and began to collect the cards as she gave me a smile "This is fun, thanks Six."

"No problem, Ruby." I said "Just make sure you put everything back where it belongs, yeah?"

"I will." Ruby nodded, before giving me a sly grin "Next time, I'mma be unbeatable."

"If you can find the luck…" I reached out a hand, and lightly jabbed a finger into Ruby's forehead "-and work on your poker face…"

Before anyone had a chance to respond to that, I turned and bolted out the door.

I swear, I could hear Yang cackling as I ran down the hall.