Crisis Aversion

Chapter 9

Once the core was destroyed, I still had to watch the heroes take a victory lap and start looting. It was uncomfortable to watch. They bagged shards of the core along with anything else that wasn't nailed down.

I understood it intellectually. They were the victors, and the dungeon's contents were their spoils. I mean, really, I'd done worse when playing games. Who hadn't committed some home invasion robbery in an RPG?

Despite all the logic and humor-based deflection, I shuddered. To them, the core was just sparkly chunks of magic rock. They chatted amiably about how much it was worth and wondered if it could be used in magic items. It was playful party banter about loot.

"Why yes, Mr. Wizard, this corpse chunk would make lovely earrings!" I imagined the thief saying and felt nauseous. To me, they were picking up scattered remains and talking about turning them into nicknacks and jewelry. It was a grisly scene in my eyes.

Agony picked up on my distress and floated over to pat me on the shoulder. He wasn't large enough to hug me, but I appreciated him trying to comfort me nonetheless.

"Hey, it's fine. Everyone gets wrecked the first time," Agony said kindly. From his perch on my shoulder, he patted my head to console me. His hand was a q-tip sized dot of warmth, and I tilted my head into the feeling. My body was nearly numb, so even small sensations were rather precious to me.

"Okay," I acknowledged. I wasn't upset by my poor performance, at least not entirely. I had felt horrified at the fact that actual people were going up against my design. Their blood would have been on my hands had they died.

Unfortunately, that wasn't the main reason I felt miserable. The stuff that replaced my guts was twisting in knots because of an unfortunate personal revelation. I knew the heroes were genuine people during the raid. Despite that, I'd only feared for my own safety.

"I felt like I was in danger," I said, not sure where the feeling had come from. I didn't think that watching the hero party make its way should have affected me that much. It started like ants crawling across my skin and built up to something like a hand around my throat.

I couldn't explain why I'd felt it so strongly. I'd know it was a tutorial from the start. I'd initiated it. Yet, it had felt all too real at the time.

"That's normal. You aren't connected to this dungeon, but you can sense it to a degree. You'll know when someone is inside yours. You'll also feel an instinctive response to the danger they pose," Agony explained. I nodded, accepting the answer since it fit with my experience. That this was the light version of the experience was unwelcomed news.

I lacked a human sense of pain, but I had a creeping suspicion that the system wasn't going to let me off scott free. That would have been a touch too kind going by everything I'd already experienced. I would not be looking forward to this new dungeon master exclusive experience.

"You should take a break. Doing too much at once isn't good for anyone," Agony suggested. The tone of his crackling hearth voice was gentle.

"When you feel ready, don't hit continue right away. You should review the footage of the raid before starting the next section," he added.

"Thanks, I'll do that," I said without much enthusiasm. It was sound advice, but I wasn't in the right mindset to appreciate it.

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"The next round is graded. Your performance determines your starter pack and what bonuses you get," Agony said. I hummed in response, and he left me alone. I took Agony's advice and spent some time trying to calm down.

The Hood hadn't been kidding when he said the system wasn't kind. I hadn't had any rose-tinted delusions of avoiding the problem, but I was only in the tutorial phase.

No one had died in the first dungeon I put together, but I had a choice to make. If I spared the next group, my resources would suffer. To do my best, no matter the outcome, I'd have to actively try to kill people for my own benefit.

I didn't panic, but I wasn't unfeeling either as I reflected on what I'd have to do. I felt horrible that I was even entertaining the idea of proceeding.

"How are you doing?" Agony inquired after a while.

"I'm… thinking about things," I said, dodging the question. Agony nodded but studied me, his confusion evident in his eyes.

"Uhm, not to pry, but most new cores are excited. Well, arrogant, but you get the idea," he ventured.

"Really?" I asked and then remembered my passenger. It made sense that the people who got standard invites would enjoy themselves. Especially since the system would prevent them from freaking out. This was psychopath heaven or a close equivalent.

"I got a glitch invite," I explained. Agony paused, blinking hard for a moment as he absorbed what I'd said.

"Are you..." Agony started then stopped with a grimace. I watched him struggle for a few moments before he scrubbed his face with his hands.

"I wish I had advice or comforting words to give, but I don't," he said finally. I laughed at his bluntness. If the situation were reversed, I wouldn't know what to say either. This wasn't the kind of situation for cowboy speeches.

"I know what the moral thing to do is," I said unhappily. It was either letting someone destroy my core or wait until my first two weeks ran out and accept the penalty. I recalled the Hood's warning about not expecting a painless death.

Agony looked at me, conflicted, but didn't say anything. What could he?

"I can't do it," I added. When the hero party had gone through my dungeon, I'd felt something familiar—a straightforward desire to live.

That wasn't why I felt guilty. You could still want to live even as you made a moral choice to the contrary. That I wasn't so much as entertaining the idea made me sick. I didn't want to die, and that was all there was to it.

I didn't have a special reason or rationalization for it, but that was enough. I wasn't going to bring about my own demise for the greater good.

"I'm going to start reviewing the raid," I continued, sighing. It would have been nice to blame my cowardice on the system suppressing my feelings, but I didn't. Why the system suppressed panic but not guilt was an irrelevant mystery.

"Okay, take your time," Agony replied, giving me a tiny pat. It felt odd to have him comfort me now, but I didn't refuse it. He seemed friendly, but he liked his job.

Well, not exactly. Agony enjoyed teaching about dungeon design and management. He could live without dickheaded students. He also didn't mind that people died to illustrate the lessons.

Glitch invites weren't discriminating. At least not about anything other than my ability vs. the original recipients. At least that was what the Hood's explanation had led me to believe. I found it comforting that I didn't resemble the usual candidates, but that was its own problem.

We were an ethical mismatch, and I hadn't thought to hide it. Agony knew that now but his demeanor toward me hadn't changed. I felt relieved though I would have understood if it did.

Agony wasn't just an employee but a teacher for chaos. Yet he still possessed empathy, as far as I could tell. My life would depend on doing something I knew was wrong from now on. That I didn't have to become a cartoon villain was reassuring.

Done ruminating for the moment, I started watching the footage of the hero party. Troubling as it was, they were professionals. Knowing how they operated would give me insight into how to improve my design. Engrossing myself in the review process also helped me to clear my head.

Having a project to work on made it easier to control my thoughts. It didn't lift my low mood, but it was better than wallowing. I needed to absorb as much as I could to help with the second half of the tutorial.

I'd made up my mind to live, so I needed to do what I could to ensure I could. My future victims wouldn't come and happily lay down their lives for me. It would be a life-and-death struggle for us both.

I needed to learn and gain every advantage possible now. When I was ready to get back to work, a 'continue' button had appeared. Once I hit it, the second part of the tutorial would begin. I selected yes.