Looting the thieves had been a grizzly business. Unlike when I had killed the Boar and it had simply disappeared, the corpses still remained after we had defeated them. I supposed it had something to do with them being humanoid, or dwelling within the city. Frankly I didn’t care, and I didn’t feel like asking HELP to explain. I didn’t even want to know.

The arbitrary rules of this universe had begun to bother me more and more. Sometimes I felt so powerful here, and other times I felt powerless. And so I let Pri guide me and order me as we stripped the two bodies of all that was useful. I was numb to it all, slow to react, and quiet. Pri was mentally sharp but I could tell she was fatigued too. I had brought her health back up, that was clear, but it seemed her energy was nearly at its limit.

I begrudgingly brought up my inventory with each new item, watching each one disappear into it. We had gained the following:

2x Rusty Daggers

1x Woodsman’s Axe

50 Silver Pieces

23 Copper Pieces

We both decided that their clothing was not worth taking. My opponent was covered in blood and hers was burnt. The weapons I decided to keep just in case we had another run in and our magic was not available to us, I could share them with Pri. The currency had been the most welcome addition as the guards had taken all we had when we entered the city. Once we had completed looting the hard part began. We needed to find a place to hide the two bodies.

They never show this part in movies. Or in games, for that matter.

I was first to poke my head back out of the alleyway. There was very little activity on the side street adjacent to us. In-fact I only saw one slumbering figure outside a large stone building. He was a very large bald man in a cloth rob with an upturned bowl out in front of him.

A beggar.

He was snoring loudly.

Ok, so the coast is clear. But where do we put these two?

I scanned the street, straining my eyes, still hiding in the shadows just in case. I was looking for anything, absolutely anything that could spark an idea, help us out of this situation. I saw barrels, but they looked far too small to hide a person inside of. Plus we would have to empty them and that would create a giant mess.

I saw a few narrow stone archways. I considered that we might hide the bodies just in the shadow of the arches and hope they weren’t found until morning. But Pri had said that the night watchmen would likely patrol the street at some point, and we wanted to give ourselves as much time as possible between the time we hid the bodies and the time they were found.

Shit, shit, shit! There has to be something.

Finally I found what I was looking for. If it was what I thought it was, it would be perfect for hiding the bodies. If we could stomach it. I motioned for Pri to come over and join me. She hesitated, not wanting to leave the bodies unattended but ultimately relented… coming over to the edge of the alleyway and peering out to the area I was pointing.

“Are you serious?” She asked.

“Dead serious,” I replied.

Terrible pun. But I had to do it.

Unauthorized tale usage: if you spot this story on Amazon, report the violation.

***

The cart was extremely heavy, even with both of us pulling it. It was no doubt meant to be carried by a horse or a donkey or some kind of beast.

Humans carrying dead humans. The circle of life is twisted.

I felt my new body straining to its limits, my muscles bulging, veins popping out. But I did not stop. I knew that we needed to reach the alleyway and get these bodies onto the cart to hide them soon or we might get caught. And I wasn’t cut out for Earth prison let alone whatever they had here.

Did they even have soap to drop?

“You… had… to… pick… the… heaviest… possible… option…?” breathed Pri, barely able to form each word with how exhausted she was. I held back bitter laughter. Something about how dark and absurd the situation was had me on the point of an absurdist mental break.

“Did you have a better idea?”

She shot me a glare. “No.”

I could tell that more than the weight of the cart bothered her. The contents of it were disturbing and foul. I could smell the stench of them from underneath the blanket that covered the pile. I tried not to think too hard about it, knowing that we had made our decision and there was nothing we could do now but execute our plan.

Finally we reached the end of the alley. I was sweating buckets. Now came the final part. We had to put the bodies into the cart. For that we had to remove that blanket and reveal the contents. I looked at Pri and she looked at me, we each grabbed a side and pulled.

The stench was overwhelming. We both gagged and retched violently. Pri and I had both covered our nose and mouth with strips of cloth she’d kept from her old dress and still the foul smell assailed us.

I could only hope the cloth would also protect us from the disease that had killed the men that lay in the cart, now exposed to the night air.

A Plague Cart.

‘Bring Out Your Dead’ had rung through my mind when I had spotted it. But this wasn’t Monty Python. And it wasn’t the least bit funny to me up close.

***

Having left the bodies and the cart behind in the shadows of the alley we now walked out into the street. Pri had suggested we find the closest Inn and I agreed. It had, of course, led to another side quest that popped up in my peripheral.

Room At The Inn?

It seems you have found yourself in need of a place to spend the night! The streets are a dangerous place for travelers who do not know their way. You seek the comfort of a bed, food and ale. And the protection that four walls might bring from those who might harm you.

Objective: Find the nearest Inn and book a room for the night

Rewards:

50xp

1x Health Potion

1x Rejuvenation Potion

I accepted it quickly and then waved the text aside. I looked over at Pri, she was limping slightly and I offered her my arm. She accepted wordlessly, leaning on me as we walked slowly through the street. Keeping to the shadows. I considered talking to her about what we’d seen in the cart. What we’d done.

That was something we both wanted to forget. The flies, the maggots, the stench of disease. The bloated rotting bodies. Falling apart.

I shook the thoughts away as I noticed that we were approaching the torchlit doorway of the building I’d seen earlier, where the robed man was still snoring fitfully. Above his head a sign read:

“The Cheshire Inn”

I pointed it out to Pri whose relief was plain on her face.

I looked from the sign to the man, wondering if he had seen anything. I coughed experimentally. He did not budge nor move. Evidently our stealing the cart had not woken him. I looked down at his bowl. It held only a few copper pieces. I summoned my inventory and got out a silver piece.

“What are you doing!” Hissed Pri. “We might need that to buy our room and board.”

“I need good Karma more than anything right now. One silver piece shouldn’t make a difference.”

I knelt down and put a piece in the man’s bowl. And then I stood up and knocked on the great wooden door.

Answer, for the love of God someone answer.

God? Why do I even bother asking you. You put me here in the first place.