“Maybe you're pregnant?” Valeria said with a grin and looked at me with raised eyebrows.

“Oh dear,” I said sarcastically. “I had my period after I broke up with Reese. That doesn’t make any mathematical sense.”

She just shrugged her shoulders. “There are the craziest things. And I once heard that you can have nightmares when you’re pregnant too.”

Ariana clicked her tongue disapprovingly, took the Nutella from Valeria's hand and smeared a generous portion on her toast.

“Or even when you’re just stressed. Don’t be so dramatic.”

Then she put the glass aside and bit into her toast with relish. The Nutella stuck to her lips and her teeth as she chewed with her mouth open, grinning because she knew we didn't like it.

I just rolled my eyes and took a long sip of coffee. “I am neither pregnant nor stressed. I just need coffee and new friends.”

Ariana laughed. “Clearly stressed.”

We had a leisurely breakfast together and then I headed home.

University would start again tomorrow and I wasn't ready. Neither physically nor emotionally.

Luckily the sky was overcast today and therefore no strenuous sun. I ran home, which didn't take too long, and by the time I unlocked the door I could already hear that Ravi clearly hadn't gone home yesterday. Because it wasn't just my mother's voice that laughed loudly, but also a male one.

“You’re really dirty,” I heard the male voice.

At that my eyes widened and I wished I hadn't heard it.

“If your daughter knew what you were thinking...” he said, turned around the corner to the kitchen, which could be seen from the front door, and spotted me.

He fell silent and looked at me with wide eyes. Big clearly caught eyes.

“Um, Hi. We thought you’d be late?”

I frowned. “Is that a question or a statement?”

He thought about it.

“We?” I asked, looking at him with clear disapproval.

I was not ready to accept after such a short time that my mother should now belong to a different “we”. A “we” of which I didn’t yet know both parties well enough.

He scratched his head, clearly overwhelmed by the situation. I let him cook for a moment, then relieved him by throwing my hands in the air and saying, “I have to prepare for tomorrow. I’ll go upstairs.” He clearly looked relieved.

I had been watching Netflix all day when it was already getting darker outside and the day was slowly but surely coming to an end. My last day of freedom. My last day before university. Why did summer go by so quickly?

It was really cool to spend so much time with my friends. But then there was something else that was important - education.

Was it overrated? No plan, but my mother had insisted on it, my father had insisted on it and I had insisted on it. I would rather go to school for three more years than work already.

I sighed, quickly pressed the cross that ended the Netflix episode before the next one could automatically load and tempt me to binge watch, and put the phone down next to me.

Was I the only one who was always lounging around in bed, even when it was daytime outside? I hoped not, because then I would feel really lazy. Or sad. Depends on the way you look at it.

I stretched, cracked the vertebrae in my back a little, and then sighed deeply. It couldn't be put off any longer. I reached for my school bag next to the room door, opened it and found my roll-on deodorant inside that I had been looking for so often. Because it was the special one that made you sweat less. Anyway, that's what it said on the label.

Annoyed with myself and my forgetfulness, I put it on the bed, took out a few tissues and pens and then put the empty bag on my chair. I put my laptop, which was thankfully charged, in first. Then my water bottle, which I quickly filled up, my pencil case and a pad, my computer mouse and my student ID found their way into the bag.

I took another look. “Ahhh, that’s fine,” I said, putting it carefully next to the door so that I wouldn’t forget it tomorrow.

Now I had the choice of Netflix - I'd rather not, as otherwise I would exhibit real addictive behavior, which my mother already nagged me for constantly - not least because I belonged to my current generation.

The other choice would be to talk to my mother and Ravi. Definitely not. My social battery was low and I needed a little time to get used to the idea of the two of them probably being at home together more often. Not least because I didn't like new people in my private space - and yes, that included my home.

This tale has been pilfered from Royal Road. If found on Amazon, kindly file a report.

The only good thing was that I could finally live in the dormitory starting next week. Everything had been sorted out before the start of summer. Last year they ran out of space because I registered too late. Financially it was good because I just continued to live at home and took the bus - although it took a long time, it saved me a lot of money. But I hadn't been able to take part in as many of the activities that others had always talked about.

So this year I was ready. It was my last year for this course and I was ready to make the most of it. It would be great.

As I finished packing my things, showering, mentally preparing for tomorrow and lying in bed, a strange feeling came over me.

The last two nights had exhausted me so much that I was just tired even though I had just relaxed and watched Netflix all day today, at least since the morning after the late breakfast with the girls and my surprise return home.

I no longer wanted to feel guilty if I spent a day just chilling. However, I was also still restless.

What if I had dreams like the last two nights again? I didn't want to go to college tomorrow with tired eyes and a headache.

I knew what lack of sleep was doing to me, and I didn't want to test that again on the first day back to college. So I made a spontaneous decision, sneaked into the bathroom and into the medicine cabinet that my mother mainly used and I sometimes used, and picked out the appropriate packet. It was white with some pink stripes on it. Diphenhydramine. That was it. I took a toothbrush cup, filled it with water and swallowed the little white tablet.

Normally I hardly took any pills, at most a few supplements. I hardly ever took sleeping pills or painkillers. I was always a bit paranoid about what it was doing to my liver, even though rationally I knew it wasn't that bad and millions of people took these pills over and over again without much difficulty. But it helped when I was lying in bed and my eyelids became heavy. And that was enough for me.

I woke up the next day after a night I couldn't remember. My head had remained empty and dark and I was extremely happy that I had a reasonably good night's sleep.

"You look pretty. Are you ready?” my mother greeted me and held out a large cup of coffee with oat milk.

Oh my, she knew me so well.

I nodded slightly and took a few sips before I could answer. Let's be honest, before I was approachable.

She smiled and stroked my cheek. “You’re going to rock this.”

I rolled my eyes slightly but smiled.

“Mum, it’s just Uni, not an interview.”

She shrugged and pushed a can towards me.

“I know you're an adult, but I prepared a snack for you. I don’t have that many opportunities left before you move out next week.”

She pouted slightly. I hugged her. “Thanks, Mom. And don’t worry, you have someone now,” I said, grinning and wiggling my eyebrows.

Then I took my things and went to the front door.

“Besides, you never know whether you’ll spontaneously meet your future boss at university. That’s why you should rock it.”

I waved to her and walked out of the house without another answer.

I thought of a few stories that I sometimes read on the Internet about a callow main character who fell for the boss at her new job, who was a bad boy and wicked and yet hot and irresistible. Oh my, totally Fifty Shades of Grey. I am not gonna lie, Christian Gray was hot. Not my type, but still very hot.

This was the fourth time I had seen Ariana in just a few days and I was always happy to see her bright hair swinging and her grin wide open.

“Are you prepared?” I ran my hands through my hair.

“Why does everyone ask me that? It's not like I'm going into battle. I'm learning some new things. That's all."

She giggled and drove off. “Well, figuratively speaking, we’re all going into battle. The battle called a career.”

We arrived at campus when it was still fairly empty. The parking lot, the hallways, the hallway in front of the lecture room where I had my first lecture.

“Where are they all?” I asked, looking around confused.

“We’re just damn early, darling. We're over-punctual. Today is the first day after summer. It is predetermined that one will be late.”

And she was right. Shortly before the lecture began, the hallways gradually filled up and none of the people, some familiar faces and many unknown ones, looked even remotely motivated. But the joyful and excited voices were still present. The people who were happy to see their friends and fellow students again.

“Who is the hottie?” Ariana poked me in the side and nodded her head in the hallway behind me.

“If I'm not mistaken, he is coming right in our direction. Oh my God,” she grabbed my arm and squeezed painfully.

“I think this is your new professor. You’re really lucky,” she grimaced in envy and I fought not to turn around.

That just could not be the case. Please not my own Fifty Shades of Gray – University Version.

“Don’t you have to go to your own lecture,” I asked her and looked at her questioningly.

She sighed, then let go of me and blew me a kiss as she left. “Don’t be a spoilsport.”

Then she left and I went to the lecture room.

I knew the small hall from last year. Our university was large, but certain courses always used the same rooms. And even though it was a new course and we chose it voluntarily, I recognized many faces from last year.

I said Hi to a few and smiled at them, but was relieved when I saw Cece in one of the back rows. She waved at me and patted the seat next to her. “Come on, I’ve reserved one for you.”

I hugged her. “How was your summer, did you do anything great?”

She unpacked her books and placed them carefully in front of her on the small table that bordered the front row of seats.

“My parents dragged me to Spain. I actually wanted to hang out with my friends, but they made it so important because it's the last family summer. I’m going away for a while next year.”

I shrugged and put my laptop on the table in front of me as well. “But Spain is cool, isn’t it?”

She made a scrunched face. “Yes, but not when you have to camp with your parents in a cramped tent and at night you not only hear the circuses, but also your parents doing certain adult things.”

I grimaced and laughed painfully when she added, "I mean sex," as if I didn't get it.

She grinned and lightly pinched my shoulder.

“But I bet you enjoyed the summer. What have you been up to? Did you go for vacay?"

I turned on my laptop and silenced it when the registration tone sounded.

“Yes, my dad went to the sea with his new girlfriend and I for two weeks. That was really cool. And I did a lot with the girls. And,” I looked at her almost apologetically, “I broke up with Reese. Sorry I didn’t tell you sooner.”

Her eyes widened and she opened her mouth as if to protest, but in that moment our professor started talking and I added in a whisper, “I’ll tell you about it later.”

She seemed only slightly satisfied, but nodded and also turned to the front.