We enter our house and Lucy is already angrily waiting for us, "Where have you been!? You two are late!"

She leads us toward the meeting room and gestures for us to sit down, "Now, mind telling me why you are late?"

"Alright then", I take a deep breath, "I talked with Elly about your little disagreement, put her out of her misery, and went on a date with Eclaire to take my head off of things, then the solid road ate us, and a secret underground passage somehow led us to a new dungeon entrance. So in short, it was really just a normal Friday afternoon."

Eclaire facepalms, "Jared..."

Lucia is confused, "You've... found a new dungeon?!"

Why is that what she's focusing on? Given Lucy's jealous nature, I would've expected her to react to the first statement. Guess she's growing up a bit. Just a tiny bit.

Also, who would believe that crap!? None of this makes any sense!

"This is indeed what I said, yes. However, the whole thing is very suspicious. The entrance disappeared once we got a bit away from it."

Eclaire adds, "Not only that but the entrance itself was sealed behind a slab of metal too massive to be called a door. You'd be forgiven to think it was full body armor for a boar."

"Yeah, someone wants whatever is inside to stay there. Though, it would've been nice if there was a sign on the entrance that told you what is inside, or rather if the strange symbols on the frame were readable; who knows what they mean. I couldn't even tell you whether whoever designed that seal could be our enemy or not. For all I know, they have the mother of my previous life imprisoned there."

Eclaire asks confused, "Now that I think about it, I still don't understand why this passage was there in the first place. The last System update said they had finally fixed travel methods that normal people shouldn't access."

Lucia facepalms, "It says that almost every time. But as you can see, nothing ever changes. Not that any of us ever used any of these... allegedly problematic methods."

"Sounds more like they are fighting against the damages caused by Glitches - and failing. How long has that even been going on?"

Eclaire answers, "Longer than any of us has been alive. Way longer. Even the people that raised us said not to worry about it, it was a recurring entry for probably thousands of years if not more."

Maybe when we find out what's going on with Justo we could ask him. He's several thousand years old after all, he might know something about it.

Lucy suddenly makes a wild guess, "Say, could your discovery be where the world-threatening artifact we're looking for is hidden?"

Eclaire shrugs, "Honestly, I hadn't thought of that. I assumed it would be a dangerous creature or something like that. But why would it be here, Lucy? And behind a glitch passage no less?"

"It probably isn't. Not really. Earlier I ran into one of the glitch creatures that should've been sealed behind the barrier. Anyway, he... dragged me around for a while, and the path he took made absolutely no sense. From that, we can assume that spatial connections are just different for Glitches than for real people."

Eclaire jumps in, "They are Features, not Glitches."

So I'm not the only one that talked with them? Strange, I assumed I would be the only one because of this... 'Customer' business...

"Oh, did you run into them, too?"

Lucy gets impatient, "Doesn't matter. So from what I understand, you traveled through a glitch-created passage - which normal people shouldn't be able to enter - and ended up in a place that may not even be anywhere on this continent. There you found a sealed-off room which may contain the source of all of our troubles?"

"It is just as likely to contain a monster that is even more dangerous than the artifact."

She beams, "Then it is a good thing we're monsters as well, right? That'd simply improve the odds that they'd be a powerful ally."

Monsters? Hardly. If we were, we wouldn't be talking here, we'd be out there doing... monster things. Hunting, killing. Thanks to [Mindless Monster], the System controls them, not themselves.

Eclaire disagrees with her other half, "That’s not how this works, you impostor. That’s not how any of this works. I mean, even if it did, what does it matter? Nothing stops humans from fighting among themselves either, right? So why should it be different for anyone else? Or have you already forgotten about the boss fight in the disaster dungeon where we had to pick the side of one monster army and help defeat the other?"

What? I wasn't present for that!

"Shouldn't you start by refuting us being monsters? That seems more important to me than a lesson in philosophy."

She shakes her head, "Eh, have you looked at yourself recently? Mr. vampire?"

"Uh, I guess... fair enough. But what about you?"

She spreads a pair of bat-like wings and rubs one of them in my face, "I'm not sure what your Hybrid glitch-magic did to me, but it certainly didn't make me more human, and I was already some kind of unholy chimera before that, thanks to you two!"

"Eh, there's more to a chimera than just one or two little extras..."

Eclaire shouts at me, "Not the point! But it should be obvious that we're getting further away from being humans. Just look out there! Most of the people who got one of your Hybrid blessings have also received some monster-like features."

Lucia adds, "That is if they haven't completely lost their mind and fully started behaving like monsters... that has happened a few times as well..."

"But we're not monster monsters, right? We don't suffer from the [Mindless Monster] skill after all."

Eclaire hesitates before answering, "I... wouldn't be so sure..."

"And what's that now supposed to mean?"

Lucy frowns, "Just... check your skill display filters, Jared."

I'm not in the mood for this, "I swear if that is just a setup for yet another prank..."

If I recall correctly, the filter option was kinda hidden in the skill menu somewhere under appraisal. Ah, there it is!

Stolen content warning: this content belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences.

...and it is running away. You goddamn button, hold still!!

Ha, got you!

Filter Options S̸w̴e̴e̸t̷u̸m̴s̶,̴ ̴A̵b̵a̶l̸a̶m̸a̸ W̷h̶e̸r̸e̴ ̶a̷r̴e̷ ̷w̷e̶ ̴o̸h̴ ̵s̷o̵ ̷b̷l̸u̷e̶ S̷w̵e̴e̸t̴u̵m̷s̴,̸ ̵A̵b̵a̵l̶a̶m̸a̵ L̶o̷a̸d̴,̷ ̴I̵′̶m̶ ̵c̴a̸m̵m̶i̷n̵′̶ ̸h̷o̴m̸e̶ ̴f̸o̵r̵ ̵y̴o̷u̸ O̵h̸ ̷t̶h̵i̵s̷ ̵w̵a̷s̷n̴'̶t̸ ̸m̶e̶a̶n̶t̷ ̸f̶o̵r̵ ̷y̵o̸u̶ F̴̘̚ư̶͖ĉ̵̥k̴̘̈́ ̸̱̌ȯ̸̭f̴̓͜f̴̭̈́

Nothing left of the original, just another mess with nonsensical symbols dancing all over the place. If I didn't dread the possibility of it meaning our death, I'd definitely demand a reboot of this shitty System right this fucking instant...

"Ok, what kind of garbage is this now..."

Lucy sighs, "It means we're kind of blind. We don't even know what we don't know when using [Appraise]. At least I can tell you that [Mindless Monster] still doesn't appear when appraising monsters, so... anyone could have it and we wouldn't be any wiser..."

Eclaire clicks her tongue, "Psh, as if you had ever paid attention to it in the first place. Not that it is my problem, because as a spirit I can't use the skill anyway, and even if I could I would still use it much more sparingly than our dear spam-happy husband! 300 MP per use is too much for us normal folk who don't own a title to waive the cost for us. So no loss for me, really."

Stop being such a diva, Eclaire, Lucy is the one with those classes.

"Honey, it is your problem as well. Even if you can't use the result screen yourself you should still see when we use it."

She relents and sighs, "I mean, I guess..."

Lucy is smiling, probably because of some misguided schadenfreude. We're supposed to be in this together, you dumb broads!

"Ok, so we have no clue which skills are hidden from [Appraisal] if any. It could even be random. So... you're telling me there's a possibility all of us have [Mindless Monster] and we just don't know it? That's utter bullshit."

Lucia shrugs, "It would at least explain why Dan is suddenly on good terms with us."

"He... what!?"

How did that happen!? Didn't he try to kill everything that moves not too long ago?

Eclaire nods, "Yeah, he's often playing with the kids at the orphanage."

Okay, now I'm really confused, "I thought... I thought these Hybrid classes made us closer to Glitches but now it is monsters?"

Eclaire responds, "Is there even a difference? First I was doomed to have my soul processed into a monster, now I'm turning into... this. I'm speaking from experience when I say that it feels the same... And what worries me the most is that I can't bring myself to mind..."

"Hey, now. There's no way it'll come to that..."

Lucia bluntly states, "Jared, you have to understand what she... what we have been through. As you know, first, she was killed and our soul somehow ripped in half; then I became a vampire, while she was trapped in a dungeon. Eventually, her soul was bound to us and turned her into a spirit, and finally... this happened... And who knows if this is even the last transformation we'll be forced to go through. We... are tired of not knowing what we will be, or what we even are anymore... it just is... too much..."

They changed so much, but have I changed at all? I'm not sure.

No, I've changed, rather, I was changed. I wasn't supposed to be a Hybrid, I chose to be a vampire, I wasn't meant to wield the power of Glitches, but here we are...

"I know, I... I understand but what do you want me to do? Just sit by idle while everyone dies? I couldn't. I had to do something..."

Plus, you asked me to. You tempted me into trying it, and it worked...

I take a deep breath, "Look, I know this is uncomfortable, it is scary. I feel the same. I'd also rather stay the same, but it... beats dying. Death is scary, permanent death even more so, especially when you are painfully aware of it. I was face to face with it when I chose to come here. Eclaire, you should've felt the same dread when the dungeon threatened to turn you into a mindless monster."

Eclaire relents, "Yeah, I guess I did... still don't like either outcome."

"So can we please drop this topic and get back to dungeon discovery?"

Lucia sighs, "Yeah, you're right. So anyway, what do we do about this find? As you said, there could be anything behind that dungeon door..."

"I'd rather leave it alone. The thing was probably sealed for a reason, and we have already enough problems."

Eclaire disagrees, "That would be a waste. I think we should at least send a scouting party or two. Worst comes to worst, we can bury the entrance again should they not return."

I'm surprised, "Why do you think so?"

She shakes her head, "I... no, just... a gut feeling. Whatever is in there might be important for us."

And my gut feeling says the opposite, now what?

Okay, so she's for it, I'm against it, and Lucia has to break this tie.

"I guess this makes it a tie, so it is your decision, Lucia. What shall it be?"

Lucy hesitates for a moment, "I think I agree with the blonde knockoff. We should check it out. We could gain a lot if that dungeon is usable."

The optimist in me says that we've chosen... poorly...

The pessimist... has already ordered a funeral for the planet and drowned himself in a cheap bar. And now complains that he can't taste the alcohol anymore.

A-anyway, I do not like this decision in the slightest, but I'm man enough to accept when I'm overruled.

Defeated I sigh, "Fine, as you two wish. Suicidal scouting mission it is then. I just hope that we don't have to waste too many people on that. We've already lost enough people in the last couple of weeks."

Eclaire agrees, "Yeah, we can just have Therese organize two or three groups of volunteers. There should be a few people who acquired some stealth or scouting abilities from their Hybrid class."

Lucia struggles with herself to add, "I think one full group is enough. I agree with Jared that we've already lost enough people, we can't afford to throw away that many people with a specific qualification. But this one attempt might be worth it in my opinion."

I know this is a suicide mission, one that isn't needed but I was already overruled, so I guess I have to tolerate it, "As long as everyone involved is aware of the risks then that's a compromise I'm willing to accept."

Barely. I'd rather not open another Pandora's Box...

Eclaire sounds suspiciously happy about the result, "Thank you."

"I guess that's all then? Say, shouldn't the others have been here a while ago? We're not the only ones being late, are we."

Lucy fidgets around a bit before asking, "So, Jared, what was that about Elly earlier?"

I think I'd better leave out the part where we fought to the death, "She... apologized for her inability to explain herself properly to you. In the heat of the moment, she forgot about the language barrier between you two. She would've loved to sit down and explain it thoroughly, without any misunderstandings this time. But it shouldn't be. The glitch infection had already damaged her beyond repair, I had no choice but to mercy kill her. She will not come back."

She looks down, "So you had to take that away from me..."

Someone's vindictive today...

She sighs, "No, no, it is fine. You couldn't have known. I... didn't express it properly to you back then, Jared."

Or not? What is going on here?

"Look, I know that you didn't part on the best of terms but-"

Lucia interrupts me, "No, I didn't mean it like that. I... Look, I wanted to try and apologize to her. I, I know that I've... changed since I became a vampire. I've been made aware of that. But... I try. I try to become more like my old self, but trying is hard. I wasn't ready, I wanted... I wanted to tell her myself but now I... I'll never have that chance..."

She starts crying and I rush to her, take her into my arms to comfort her, "Hey, now..."

I want to tell her that it'll be fine, but... wouldn't that be a lie? She'll never get another chance to make up with Elly, the little mindbug is already gone forever.

"I know that trying is hard, but if you keep it up, you'll get another chance. I just know it. Trust me."

Eclaire hesitates for a while but eventually joins in the group hug as well, "He's right, you dummy. If you do your best to be a good girl from now on, you can redeem yourself. I know you can see this through to the end. After all, you're me."

Lucia answers, "I guess you're right..."

We stay cuddled up for a while while Lucia tries to calm down. Eventually, her sobbing stops and she frees herself.

She wipes off her remaining tears, "So, she's really not coming back? I thought..."

I know. Spirits should only have a timeout of a week when they die, but that is not the case here.

"No, that is very unlikely. The glitchy atmosphere did a lot of damage to her body and mind; in the end, she couldn't even speak properly anymore. As it is now, I neither sense her presence anymore nor is there an entry for her in the menu; where her name should be is now only a lump of garbage characters. I even tried to summon... that, but nothing happened. I didn't even get an error message because the spirit was under repair or something."

Eclaire looks down, "That's a pity. I quite liked her while she was sane..."

Lucy reluctantly agrees, "...me too."

She had some moments I could've gladly done without but overall, I'll miss the damn spy, "Me three."

We unanimously decide to mourn her passing for a moment in silence.