When I finally come to, I'm strapped to an operating table, with cuffs and all. The room itself seems to be some kind of alchemical lab, dimly lit and no one else is here as far as I can see.

As if this would hold me. I just acquired [Malleable Form] a short while ago, time to already make use of it.

I turn parts of myself into water and easily slip out of the cuffs. This much is nothing anymore, really.

After getting up, I look around the room more closely.

Next to a makeshift bed in the corner of the room, is a soldier lying on the floor. [Appraise] doesn't pick him up at all, he's dead. His armor looks like one of our soldiers, so am I finally really back in my fortress? This better not be a double nightmare.

What happened here?

When I look a bit closer, I see some bitemarks on the soldier's neck. Did I do that and then got captured?

Now that I think about it, I do in fact not feel hungry anymore, so it seems at least possible.

Suddenly, I feel something poking at my back, probably a blunt weapon. Then a voice threatens me from behind, "I thought we tied you up? Well, how about you turn around slowly and don't make any sudden movements? Comply, and no one needs to get hurt, for now."

I feel like I know this voice.

"Yeah, yeah", I turn around as requested.

In front of me stands not Lucia as I expected but her blonde twin.

But before I can process that fact, she jumps at me and takes me in a hug, "Ha! Gotcha!"

Confused I hug her back, "What is going on here? Who are you?"

She scoffs, "What? Already forgot about your wife?"

"Uh, come again?"

She ponders for a moment, "No, this would be our first time I think."

Yeah, totally a Lucia, "And without any nonsense? What's going on here?"

She lets go and scoffs, "Fine, if you insist. I'm the part that got separated from the human Lucia when you two... did it and she became a vampire. I kinda died and she brought me back, somehow. Truth be told, neither of us remotely understands what she did but, well, now I'm both your summoned spirit and also your wife. Though to avoid confusion I go by the name Eclaire now."

"Yeah, no, that sounds like unbelievable hogwash. I'd know if I was married to two women. One Lucia is already the handful..."

She smiles mischievously, "Oh, don't deny it. Search your feelings, you know it to be true."

Then she throws herself at me again and kisses me. Reflexively, I hug her back.

I feel torn. On one hand, I already have Lucia, on the other... I can feel that there is some truth to it, Eclaire seems to be exactly who Lucia was before [Undead Bait] messed with our lives. She seems to be the person I originally didn't want to lose before that accursed skill turned her into a vampire. I don't know if it is a lingering attachment thanks to [Undead Bait] or an emotional mixup because she is at least in part my Lucia and the Happily Married title does its work now, but I know that I don't want to lose Eclaire, not again...

ERROR: Y̴̯͝ȍ̶̳u̶̺͘ ̷̀͜ç̷̎a̵͖̓ṋ̶̊ń̴̫o̶͈̽t̵̙̿

M4rRiag€ vth EcL̸̛̩ũ̸͈c̶̡͒ị̴̅a̸̢̾ r3c0nfIr/}d. 4920646F6E2774206B6E6F7720686F7720746861742068617070656E65642C

706C65617365206164766973652E

m̵͔̄å̵̟r̵̜͑r̶̟̎y̴̘̆ ̸̲̽a̴̟͒ ̵̟̌s̵͇͊p̸̪̏i̶͚͗r̵̩̍i̸̟̾t̴͎̆.̷̪̈́

And of course, something breaks, "What the hell did you do now?"

She sneers, "Geez, you don't even know what a kiss is? What loveless world did you come from that you have no clue about simple intimacy between lovers..."

"I meant the part after that, I got a message that only NOW we're married", I sigh, "so much for trusting a variant of Lucia... Ever the trickster."

She sounds mostly sincere, "Sorry, but it was quite necessary. Though I thought you'd be fine with that, you were quite into me even before the incident."

Let's ignore the near-mind control of the [Undead Bait] skill, "That might be but now I'm already married to Lucia, well the other Lucia, and I've no intention to cheat on her. I don't even want to imagine what she'll say to this..."

She's excited while answering me, "Oh, she is fine with it. In fact, the whole operation was her idea."

Now I'm even more confused, "Why that? She struck me as the overly jealous type."

She hesitates for a moment, "Uh, well, you see she has a plan, a quite impactful one if everything works out the way she thinks. In fact, I even got two impactful skills out of it already! So thanks for playing along."

Full joy, she shows me her two new skills.

Self-made Spirit

Passive

You pay your own upkeep for being a spirit, your upkeep cannot be paid in any other way.

Instead of being unable to use magic at all, you're able to use each generic magic skill once per day

but still need to pay the regular cost and can't apply spell shapes to them.

So her upkeep cost is completely taken care of, and she can use the remaining MP maybe for some elemental spells, but only the regular projectile versions and only once per day per skill.

Word of Refinement

Passive

The followers of your religion can now retrain production classes into proper classes if they meet the requirements; for that, the retrained production class still counts towards their stats but not towards the number of classes they have.

Retraining this way does not use class cores.

The retrained class resets to level 1 and the total stats get adjusted accordingly.

"Someone needs to get promoted to pope as soon as possible, though I still don't see where you two are going with this."

Eclaire sheepishly admits, "Lucia was so proud of her plan she forbid me from telling you any details, she wanted to tell you personally. Though Elly was against the plan for some reason, I honestly didn't understand why, so I'm not quite sure we should go through with it until we're on the same page."

"Fine, be that way. Speaking of, where is everyone else? I feel like I want to hear Elly's opinion on that plan as well."

She facepalms, "Oh, right, I forgot. Lucia wanted to know ASAP when you wake up, give me a sec."

Eclaire goes to the door and shouts, "Hey, Iris, could you please go and tell Lucia? Jared is back with us."

So Iris was waiting outside the whole time? I thought this was the underground lab, did they tell everyone about this secret?

Iris answers her, though her voice sounds a bit raspier than before, "Eclaire, you know as well as I do that I don't fit through the doorway anymore, I'm stuck down here!"

So many questions...

Eclaire mockingly replies, "Oh, right, I totally forgot about your diet problem. Then I'll go myself, while you please keep him company while I'm gone, and make sure he doesn't cause any more casualties. One guy is already enough."

Then she turns to me, "Jared, don't be too surprised, okay? A lot of things have changed while you were unconscious."

"I bet they did... how long was I even out?"

Eclaire ponders, "Hmm, about three weeks? Well, ask Iris for the rest, I gotta go."

"You know you could just as well take me with you to Lucia."

She shrugs, "No, I think you should take it slow for a while. Trust me, a lot of things have changed and that will be hard to get your head around. Ask Iris if you want to know more. Laters."

She waves goodbye and leaves, leaving me behind with even more questions than before. I take a moment to order my thoughts and then leave the room as well to talk to Iris.

I'm not sure what I expected but what I see now wasn't this. Iris has certainly gotten bigger in some ways, her lower half has become part spider. She has become an arachne. Thanks to her new spider legs she's easily wide enough to take as much space as three people, no wonder she can't fit through the stairs going up. Though she seriously needs to work on her clothing, the scraps of spider silk don't cover that much. Maybe I shouldn't ask about the origin of the silk, that might be an uncomfortable topic...

Name Iris Status none Age 23 (frozen) Classes Nun 16, E̸͎̓n̴͍͐t̵͕͑ó̸͕m̶̬̾ą̷͆n̷̳̿c̵͖͊e̸͍̿ŕ̶̢ 15, Druid 7, Dryad 7 Race Dark Elf 15 Divine? A̷̞͑ř̶̰a̶̖͑c̵̜̀h̸̞̎n̷̳̒e̶̘͊ 7 HP 2810/2810 MP 3304/3304 SP 2475/2475 STR 239+365 DEX 307 VIT 330+65 MAG 579 FTH 574+15 WIL 423+15 CHA 399 Equipment Zatzaknoife, Reinforced Suit, Habit Skills - Weapon Dagger Training 15 Skills - Magic Acid Spray 7, Cure Magic (Rank 1) 7, Earth Magic (Rank 1) 7, Locusts 15, Nature's Grace 7, Spook 7 Skills - Special Create Food&Water 7, Insect Control 15, Luck Boost 15, Web 7 Skills - Passive Ageless 1, Familiar 1, Sleepless 1, S̶̲̈́p̴̩̓i̷͆͜d̵̹̚e̷̖͐r̶͕͝ ̷͚̀C̴̨͠l̸̪̀ä̴̩́s̸̮̾s̶͕̉ 15, Stealth 15 Weakness Earth, Wind

I guess that explains at least in part where the Three of Disaster title came from. Me, Lucia, Iris. But then I'd have expected Arachne to be a generic monster, maybe a boss monster and not the big commander. And why does she even have that?

Stolen from its original source, this story is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.

"Uh, hi, Iris. You look a bit... different than last time we met. What has happened to you?", while asking that, I look around. As far as I can tell, we are in fact in the underground laboratory but in a more remote backstreet corner. Through one of the alleys, I can see that the barrier around the Glitch Zone still seems to be intact but it looks flimsier than before, though that might be the distance. I can also spot a few people walking about, working on something; it seems a lot of them have changed in some way, Iris isn't the only one that has some obvious monster parts to them.

Iris turns toward me, "Ah, Jared, it is good to see you again under the living, or whatever we now count as. Err, you see in our disastrous dungeon trip I got captured by some spider monsters and they... turned me into one of them, or at least tried to. I'm not sure what exactly happened, at one moment I was stuck in a spider's cocoon, getting fed with spider monsters, somehow absorbing them into my skin and the next... everything exploded and we were outside. I was still human at that point, and they took us to Karen here to check us for glitch contamination. But soon after... I began changing into this form. It was a terrifying experience, to say the least and I've been stuck down here ever since."

"Sorry, I had no idea about any of this. But I think I have an idea of how I could get you out of here. Please endure it, it may sting a little. Now, give me your hand", what did I gain [Essence Drain] for if not for a situation like this?

Iris gives me her hand like I requested, and I can feel the skill reacting to my will.

Just randomly creating something is out of the question, the chance to get something like [Disguise] out of a random draw is minimal. But what skills can I use as a catalyst to get something similar? I don't want to sacrifice my copy of [Disguise], still need it.

Can I simply delete the responsible class? ...can't. Classes don't seem to be a valid target. So the glitched-up class-in-class was just a red herring after all. What else...

Hmm, maybe a bit of a stretch but maybe my World Resident title? According to its description, it allows me to "blend in" with the native populace, kinda, so maybe...

What do you know, it is a valid target. So classes are off-limits but titles are okay? This damn system, consistently inconsistent.

Okay, now two skills from her so she becomes a valid recipient. She should clearly keep her cure and earth magic spells. Maybe Web and the weird one.

S̶̲̈́p̴̩̓i̷͆͜d̵̹̚e̷̖͐r̶͕͝ ̷͚̀C̴̨͠l̸̪̀ä̴̩́s̸̮̾s̶͕̉

NO EFFECT

Yeah, that one can go into the blender. And the result is...

Hybrid M̷͔͂a̸̖̒s̸̟̋k̸̢̆e̷͖͒d̵̙̅ ̷̯͘Ȧ̸̫r̴͔̎a̴͍̾c̶̘͂h̴̤́n̷̨̊i̷̘͊d̴̤͘ extra class Growth Rates

14.5 HP, 19.5 MP, 28 SP, 4.5 STR, 7 DEX, 2 VIT, 4 MAG, 2.5 FTH, 3 WIL, 3 CHA Human Form

Concentration

You can transform into a human-like form.

The form is fixed and cannot be altered by this skill.

Superfluous non-human parts physically disappear into your body.

Discovering the difference between your original and human form is impossible without magical aid. Web

200 MP

Spread a sticky web over an area.

This web does not affect a victim if it has the [Spider Climb] skill.

It can also trap the affected like a regular spider web.

The web exists until another is created via this skill or it is burned Spider Climb

Concentration

You can climb along walls, webs and web-like structures.

While climbing non-web surfaces this way your speed is reduced by 80%. Earth Weakness

This is the first time I have seen fractional stat growths. Weird but whatever.

I think [Human Form] should solve Iris' immediate problem and I get rid of the detrimental World Resident title while she doesn't really lose [Web]; she loses it from Arachne and regains it from Hybrid, whyever it is called that. Two birds with one stone. Done, I confirm the choice mentally.

I can feel a weird psychic stream moving from me to Iris then merging with her soul. I feel like the World Resident title is gone.

...no, I take that back. Just a moment later, I feel the title coming back. Shit, I forgot about the link between Lucia and me, synchronizing our titles. Well, gotta pay more attention next time and sacrifice the same detrimental title from both of us at the same time to get rid of it.

Curiosity gets the better of me, so I try to create another class for Iris. The link comes up again just like before. I try to select the World Resident title again but this time I can't select it, other skills are selectable just fine. Damn, now this title is a zombie process...

I cancel the link and then check on Iris' status.

Name Iris Status none Age 23 (frozen) Classes Nun 16, E̸͎̓n̴͍͐t̵͕͑ó̸͕m̶̬̾ą̷͆n̷̳̿c̵͖͊e̸͍̿ŕ̶̢ 15, Druid 7, Dryad 7 Race Dark Elf 15 Extra Hybrid 7 Divine? A̷̞͑ř̶̰a̶̖͑c̵̜̀h̸̞̎n̷̳̒e̶̘͊ 7 HP 2810/3201 MP 3304/3830 SP 2475/3231 STR 360+305 DEX 496 VIT 384+65 MAG 687 FTH 641+15 WIL 504+15 CHA 480 Equipment Zatzaknoife, Reinforced Suit, Habit Skills - Weapon Dagger Training 15 Skills - Magic Acid Spray 7, Cure Magic (Rank 1) 7, Earth Magic (Rank 1) 7, Locusts 15, Nature's Grace 7, Spook 7 Skills - Special Create Food&Water 7, Human Form 7, Insect Control 15, Luck Boost 15, Spider Climb 7, Web 7 Skills - Passive Ageless 1, Familiar 1, Sleepless 1, Stealth 15 Weakness Earth, Wind

Is it just me or are the stat increases very substantial? And why does it start already at level 7? Questions, questions...

"There, done. Can you try your new [Human Form] skill?"

Iris is taken aback, "What exactly have you just done to me? It felt... weird."

"Apparently I can give my familiars a mostly random extra class. By sacrificing unneeded skills I can nudge it in a certain direction, so I did that to give you a transformation skill."

She seems to check her changed status while talking to me, "Ah, so it is finally my time to receive the strange Hybrid class most others have gotten."

"What are you talking about?"

Iris uses her new skill to transform back into her old dark elf self, and all of her monster parts disappear. Without exception.

The undercover arachne begins explaining, "Ah, sorry, my apology, you were unconscious when it happened. Maybe I should start at the beginning? ...having human legs again feels so wrong as if three-fourths of me were missing."

She tries to walk a few steps and stumbles over, I catch her when she falls over, "Don't worry, I got you. And, yeah, please start at the beginning."

She gathers her thoughts, "So about two days after we returned from the dungeon everything just went wrong. The sky above us changed, it took a greener tone, the air became weird like the heavier atmosphere you find in a dungeon and the flood monsters just disappeared. We later found out that the area around the fortress now counts as a dungeon."

"Wait, we're now in a dungeon? If I was out for about three weeks and this was just a few days after I went out... Wait, normal people get no benefit from sleep while in a dungeon, wouldn't then everyone have died of exhaustion by now?"

"Correct, that is why Lucia made the decision to give us familiars also the [Familiar] skill and ordered us to take as many people as we can as familiars so that they'd survive through your [Sleepless] skill."

"But that should only give us at most... what? 20 or 40 is the cap according to the skill description. Maybe double since you only get the skill at level 1."

She shakes her head, "I'm not sure about the details but it seems that all the familiars we take become your familiars instead. You should have several thousand familiars at this point, basically, everyone who survived here is one."

"And where does the Hybrid class come in?"

She sighs, "At first it was just that, the people that became familiars would just get the same three skills you've shared with us and that was that. But then after about a day, all new familiars also get this strange Hybrid class. No one understands why, but this class does something different for everyone. But no matter what, it... changes the people. They feel like they've become more like monsters and... if I'm honest with myself, it might as well be my fault. I let myself be captured by spider monsters, partially became one of them, and me being here might as well have corrupted the familiar bond for everyone else. I'm sorry, everyone..."

By my understanding, [Essence Drain] is an active ability, and I wasn't even aware I got additional familiars, much less wanted to use the skill on them. But then just a random glitch mutation giving everyone exactly the same result as the skill sounds very improbable. It is much more likely that the glitch within me is to blame, but for some reason, I have a hard time admitting that...

"I don't really understand or know what is going on but if someone here was a monster first that would be me. Even if your transformation was the cause, you're just as much a victim as everyone else. You only became an active part of our party recently, and you've never fought before, so asking you to win against a whole dungeon by yourself is simply unreasonable", I try to comfort her with a hug, "Please don't blame yourself for this, Iris. It is not your fault."

She tries to hold back some tears, "Thanks..."

So to summarize the situation: we're fucked.

The whole place now counts as a dungeon with all the relevant consequences. And probably no clue on how to end this crawl.

To save as many people as possible, Lucia basically made every survivor one of our familiars. And of course, glitches wanted to have a word in, so the familiars also became part monsters.

"Do you have any idea how many people even survived this ordeal so far?"

Iris lets go of me, "No not really. I think Therese can tell you more accurate numbers. She should have a meeting with Lucia and Karen at your residence right about now. Though you'll have to be strong, okay? Some people you knew didn't make it. For example, Marca..."

Well, I did say I wanted Therese as my familiar as punishment for certain treatments, so it seems I did get my wish. Hopefully Darius too, his well-being was supposedly needed to keep the barrier around the Glitch Zone intact.

"I expected as much. A monster mimicking her was the last boss I fought in that disaster dungeon..."

"Is that so? Truth be told, a monster bearing her likeness appeared recently. Geoffrey didn't take it well... at all..."

"Huh? I thought the monster flood was gone?"

Iris just shrugs, "That it is but that doesn't mean there are other random appearances of monsters. Overall the situation is very confusing and unclear to all of us."

"Alright, I get it. Let's just go to the meeting, maybe there I'll get the answers I need. While we're at it, we can introduce your new form. Oh, and Iris, would you please put on some clothes? The threads of spider silk that covered you before disappeared when you switched form. You, uh, might want to fix that."

She looks down at herself. After a moment, her face turns a slightly redder shade of brown and puts on her old suit again, "Uh, sorry, guess I missed that... I was kinda distracted by suddenly only having two legs instead of eight. Thanks for telling me."

That was... less of a reaction than expected. I mean, I didn't mind the view but should I now be worried that the "hybridization" has done more than just changed her physically or is this merely a cultural thing I didn't know about?

While having some meaningless small talk, we head towards the exit together.