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“Here, bunny, try this!” a girl gave me some steaks
Sniff sniff “Yes, thank you very much.” I accepted the offering.
nom nom nom
“Very good!”
“Try this too!” another girl shared half of her sausage with me.
Sniff sniff “Sure!”
Nom nom nom.
“Yep, that’s some good stuffs”
“How about this cupcake?” a boy with blue hair asked.
“Of course!”
Nom nom nom…
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Haha! Friends, that was me! I was being fed!
There were many small children surrounding me. They gave me many delicious stuffs to eat and in exchange, I gave them the permission to touch my ears.
But how did I ended up in this situation you ask?
Well, upon waking up, I found myself in a big white room, NAKED! Then, the creepy doctor did so many stupid stuffs and experiments on me, but he also gave me delicious food, so in the end it wasn’t very bad. And following that, the two little girls came and carried me home, and then I stayed at Riku’s place.
Riku and Meetty then made me a white bunny suit to wear so I wouldn’t be naked.
Haha, a bunny in a bunny suit, how ironic was that? Well, that's couldn't be helped.
Anyways, this time, lucky for me, they finally understood common sense and fed me real food. It was great, as I got to eat meat everyday, and even cakes!
However…
PTOEY!
“Oh no! He found out about the broccoli!” the boy with the blue hair surprised.
Broccoli? Why the fuck do you morons have to put broccoli in the cupcake? Are you insane?
I don’t know why, but the kids kept adding stupid stuffs into my food! Broccoli in cupcakes, lettuce in meatballs, even spring onions in eggs! What the hell was that? Well, at least I finally knew about the reason why humans were so stupid. They were the ones eating stupid stuffs after all.
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“See? I told you! He will know if you put veggies into his food!” Meetty said.
Duh! Of course! I’m not stupid enough to eat poison! I don’t want to die you know?
“But yesterday he ate my blueberries! And Ilsa’s strawberries too!” another boy in the group joined the conversation.
Why not? Berry blood is delicious!
“Hmmm, so he can eat fruits, but not veggies?” the girl named Ilsa spoke in a very soft tone.
Yes, yes, so you finally understand. For god sake, please keep that in mind.
“Yeah, but it’s weird. He really doesn’t poop or pee at all! I wonder where all that stuffs go. Did you watch him carefully?” the blue hair boy asked.
“Yeah! Me and Meetty spent three whole days doing that you know? But we couldn’t catch even just a single moment of him pooping! And his ass is alway clean! Maybe … he has a very good belly?” Riku guessed.
“Or he has a stomach bigger than the universe?”
“Oh! I know! I know! Maybe a wizard is living inside his belly and uses special magic to destroy poop and shit!”
What? I wondered how the hell did they come up with those ideas.
Well, mehehe, you kids are ALL wrong! The reason I, the great Thunder_xXx_Thunder, don’t need to do those dirty callings issssssssss...
Tadaa!!!
It seemed that the God of Reincarnation did a very good job! He created a secondary inventory just for me, and all of my poop and urine went straight into that!
Well, I knew that I would probably have to take those stuffs out and dump them someday, but I wanted to test the inventory’s limit first, so I decided to keep it like that.
So far, at that moment, I had 756 Cecotrope, 432 Normal shit and 1240 Normal Urine water.
I wondered what a Cecotrope is, and why they all had this “normal” prefix.
Does it mean that there will be “abnormal” ones?
Haha, friends, that’s a spoiler!
Oh!
Wait a minute!
Holy shit! Did I just forget to introduce those little devils to you?
Aha! What a stupid me! Please forgive me of this unforgivable mistake!
Well, it turned out that this Online world had a thing called Adventure schools, where people came to learn about becoming adventurers. Riku and Meetty were enrolling in one of those, called Elemental Tree, for humans from ten to fifteen years old.
The school had many classrooms and many students, but for the best education quality, each classroom only had five to ten kids, and many different teachers for every different subjects.
And thus, after a few days resting, Riku took me to school with her. This was where I met five more bastards. Three boys and two girls. And the interesting thing was... they all had different hair colors! And exactly followed the rainbow color code! What a nice coincident, haha, as I could easily tell them apart just by looking at their heads!
Red: Riku, a girl.
Orange: OliseEE, a girl.
Yellow: Yomundorudo, a boy.
Green: GeorgEy_168, a boy.
Blue: Blob_Blob, a boy, also leader.
Indigo: Ilsa, a girl.
And finally, Violet: Meetty.
Yes, that’s all of the info dump!
Now let’s continue!
A few days later, at night, when the moon was full and in its highest position, Riku and all the kids gathered at the school’s playground.
They brought me with them of course!
And you know what they did?
One of the kid, Blob_Blob, brought a ... demonic spell book! The fucking real Necronomicon!
I recognized it because I had several copies of it in my old home. I was a Demon Lord, remember?
But how the hell did he get it? And why the book also existed in Online? I had no fucking idea.
Anyways, they turned to page 6669, prepared the ingredients based on the picture and spoke in unison.
“Bula bula bula bula bula…
“From now on, Riku, OliseEE, Yomindorudo, GeorgEy_168, Ilsa, Meetty and I, Blob_Blob, will be known as The ~RAINBOW RIDERS.~! Under the bunny’s witness, we vow for the destruction of the world and universe!
“ALRIGHTTT!!!”
Urghhh… you know?
To summon Cthulhu, you need unicorn juice, not milk, and several dragon testicles, not just some stupid marbles…
Well, you didn’t even speak the chant correctly anyway...
And thus, in the end, nothing happened. They just officially formed this stupid superhero squad.
But what about the Necronomicon?
Well, I had to wait for the right moment to jump in and eat it whole. That shit was just too fucking dangerous in the hands of kids!
So remember this, friends.
Don’t you ever, ever, EVER,... read or perform random rituals in suspicious books that you don’t know nothing about!