Hello friends!
Please let me introduce myself in this story.
Ahem!
My name was: Gruragaramograd the Great numbered Twenty-five point One, born and raised in a family full of Demon Lords.
Heh?
No!
You read it right!
From my great great grandpa to the tiny little kids, we were all Demon Lords!
Yes.
One hundred percent real Demon Lords.
But...
Why so many Demon Lords you ask?
Hehe...
I have no fucking idea.
Well, it’s not like you can choose your own mom and dad!
You know what I mean?
Urgghh…
It was awful, to be born in the wrong family.
It was like a curse.
What?
You think I’m joking?
Why?
I’m telling you the truth!
Because of my bloodline, I soon became the strongest warrior, brought forth destruction and despair to a million and three races.
Let's see...
Hmm... yellow goblin, white goblin, black goblin, red goblin, pink goblin, …#FF6347 goblin, #FF6348 goblin …
And why would I do that?
Isn’t that obvious?
Because I was bored to death!
Yes, I was sooo bored.
So I went all over the world looking for a worthy opponent.
But... sadly, everyone failed me…
Most of them died right after my first kick you know?
And even the Great Dragonogard, the Dragon of all Dragons, who was NOT invisible by the way, could only withstand two kicks.
Sigh.
In short, life was too easy for me.
I could get my hands on anything, except not the thing I wanted the most.
Yes, It was ironic...
That when you became the strongest, everything became meaningless.
Or should I say...
I had everything, but in the end ...
It doesn't even matter.
So, friends, do you understand?
How the hell can I live a life like that?
Fortunately, the gods seemed to understand my wishes. They somehow transported so many random people from another worlds here to fight me.
And for a short moment, I was so excited!
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Peope from another world!
Unknown challengers of mysteries!
And that made me spend days and nights hardening my horns and honing my skills to the greatest while waiting for my hero in shining armor.
But you know what?
They were all idiots.
Challengers from another world... fucking idiots!
Rushed to fight me without proper preparations.
Bland personalities.
Dense.
And worse, stupid as fuck.
And what the hell with that so many underage companions?
Can they even fight?
And even a slime!?
Isekai heroes ... my ass!
And THAT (pause), is the reason why I decided to act.
On that starry night, October the first, when bears started their long winter nap under their tiny caves, here I was, on the top of mount AntDew, facing my one hundredth opponent from another world.
----------------------------------------
“Demon Lord Gruragaramograd the Great numbered Twenty-five point One!” the warrior Megamon called out to me angrily.
Why the hell are you so angry? I thought.
And then, suddenly, Megamon shouted:
“In the name of justice! I shall have your head!”
Ehhh… Such a rude person.
But, as I knew that human are intelligent lacking creatures, I didn’t really mind.
So then “Okay!”... i said to him, and then Pop!
Unplugged my head.
“Here you go, there’s my signature on top, please don’t lewd.”
However, upon seeing my beautiful gift, Megamon turned pale and screamed.
“WHAT THE HELL IS DIS!?”
Gasp!
You can’t tell?
You asked for my head but don't know what a head is?
Oh boy… I sighed... Not another retard!
“Friend, this thing is called “the head”, an anatomical unit that consists of the skull, hyoid bone and cervical vertebrae. And MY - HEAD is a work of art that maaaaany people are wishing for you know?”
Yes friend, that’s the truth!
The head of mine appeared on millions and millions of posters all around the world, with so many numbers below it you know?
However, even though this dude heard my explanation clearly, he continued shouting and yelling non-sense at my face.
“What!? You Demon! I’m not buying your fucking head! And I’m not your fucking friend you fucking piece of shit!”
Gasp!
Can you believe it? He cursed me!
“NO! I am giving you this for FREE!!! You don’t have to buy it!” I said politely.
But it was in vain.
“Arrrrgghhh!!!” He screamed.
“Urrghhhh,” so do I.
At that point, I gave up, as I noticed my brain cells were committing suicide one by one.
There is no way in hell I could hold a proper conversation with you dumbass creature anymore…
But then, I realized..
Oh Yeah!
I forgot.
Humans are …
IDIOTS.
They do NOT understand a work of art.
----------------------------------------
Following that, as the conversation couldn’t continue anymore, the guy decided to do something else.
“Demon! I’m not gonna waste my time talking nonsense to you anymore! I’m gonna kill you right now! With my awesome ultimate move of justice and friendship!” and with a schwingg, Megamon pulled out this very beautiful sword with golden shining hilt.
I appraised the sword by using ultra demonic vision of darkness, and I could see it...
The sharpness!
It sliced an electron in half!
Brrrrrrrrrr!
I shivered, and with a dancing heart, I jumped back waiting to receive this upcoming "ultimate move of justice and friendship" with anticipatory excitement.
“Wa** na wa Megamon! O great God of Twenty-eight dimensions! I offered thee my soul in exchange for power! To protect the globe from destruction! / To dominate all people within our nation! …”
OOoooohhh! It’s coming!
I could feel it, the massive amount of energy building up within the sword!
It sucked the continent dry of magical molecules!
Bone dry!
Swheeeeeeeeeeeeeennnngg!
The ground shook vigorously as the sword glowed brighter and brighter and vibrated with this ear-wrenching sound.
“Haha awe-soooooooooooooome!” I couldn’t restrain my dancing heart anymore.
And then it came.
“O’ Great Holy Sword of Englando! EAT THIS YOU FUCKING DEMON! EsssssssssssssuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuUUU….”
“HAHAHA! COMEEEEE!”
“…UUUCALIBURA!!!!!!”
PHSSSS#%$#%#@%@!!!
With the sound of unreal explosion, Megamon shot out a beam of light so intense that it destroyed the whole top of mount AntDew in an instant!
Everything the light touched vaporized in the blink of an eye.
Heaven and earth screamed in fear.
Woah!
Great move!
Such power, much wow!
“I won, there’s no way he could have survived my ESUCALIBURA!” I read his mind.
Well, it was a nice try, Megamon.
But to defeat me?
Pfffft!
As the man slowly regained vision since he blinded himself with that intense beam of light, he could see the aftermath.
The smug look disappeared from his teenager face and his facial skin went white.
His eyes shot open.
“No… NO WAY!” he screamed, as he could still see...
ME! A handsome and beautifully tanned Demon Lord!
POP!
“Sorry friend, but gotta go now. Thank you so much for the gift and see ya later!”
I smiled cheerfully and gave my thanks to him, for the gift exchanging event and that flashy firework.
I didn’t forget to include a proper goodbye either.
Well, it was fun, but I had to come home.
So...
Well, see you later young isekai-er!
Can’t wait to put your art on the shelf when I get home!
Hmmm… now I think back about it...
Megamon the warrior, what a nice guy he was!