“Come on, Headmaster Joss.” the boy tries to pacify the agitated older man who is currently lifting him in a one-handed choke hold. “Use your words, buddy,”
“What did you do!?”
“I swear to the Gods! She’s still a virgin!”
“To my body! You did something to my bo- Wait, what?”
“Wait, what?” asks the puzzled boy as well. It looks like Headmaster Joss is crossed for a different reason.
“What’s this about someone still being a virgin?”
“Nothing! Can we go back to the reason why you’re trying to throttle the life out of me?”
“…”
The headmaster gives an unintelligible grunt before tossing the boy back onto the bed he was previously resting on.
Earlier, Synnove had let the older man back into the room. Not suspecting anything from his rapid knocks, the pigtails maid was taken by surprise when she was pushed aside by Headmaster Joss as he brushed past her quickly, heading towards her master who was still lying on the bed.
The boy who saw Headmaster Joss walking across the room in swift movements tried haplessly to stop the man from charging him, asking the agitated headmaster what was wrong and if they could settle it peacefully like gentlemen. That attempt failed miserably as the boy was still grabbed by Headmaster Joss and raised high into the air, his feet dangling several centimeters from the room’s floor.
Which brings us to the scene just now.
“You did something to it…” mutters the headmaster as he paces the room, still in a restless state.
“Why don’t we start from the beginning?” Did something happen at the restaurant?” the boy asks as he continues to rub his sore neck.
“My body… it won’t move no matter how much I willed it to do so.”
“I thought you went out for lunch with your old friend. Don’t tell me you visited the local House of Pleasure instead to do a different kind of celebrating? You sly dog you.”
“Even though I wanted it so bad, my body refused to listen to my commands.”
“Well, as you get older, there’s bound to be some issues with your performance. One out of five elderly men suffers from-“
Headmaster Joss shoots a look at the boy which shuts him up immediately.
“Why am I unable to drink any alcohol now!?” shouts the headmaster finally.
“How the heck should I know? It’s your body. Do I look like some kind of puppet master, controlling your body with strings?”
“…”
Headmaster Joss is silent, but based on his agitated movements as he paces about the room and the death glares he occasionally shoots at the boy, it seems the headmaster is still unsatisfied with the boy’s explanation.
“But I do have a theory…”
“What is it?”
“It looks like your body is unconsciously preparing yourself for what’s coming.”
“…”
“And I’m not talking about the Razors thirty years from now. In the months to come, you and I will be facing challenges that we have never faced before. You have your work cut out for you, Headmaster Joss. There are many trials and tribulations heading your way that will test your mettle as a headmaster, and somewhere deep in the recesses of your mind, you are subconsciously aware that you need to be in peak condition… physically, mentally, spiritually and emotionally…”
“…”
The headmaster gives out a grunt of annoyance as if disagreeing on the last part of what the boy had said.
“Trust your instincts, Headmaster Joss. You know this to be true. Further exposing your body to the ill effects of alcohol overconsumption, although I must agree sounds like a tempting and grand idea given the need to revel at Master Haithur’s unexpected departure, would only serve to weaken your already fragile body more.”
“You’re doing that thing again…” says the headmaster quietly.
“What thing?” asks the boy while smiling.
“Lying.”
“…”
“Or using convoluted and excessive words in order to disguise facts and conceal truths, which is basically the same thing in my book.”
“Convoluted and excessive... I’m pretty sure I’m not the only one.”
“What is it you’re not telling me?”
“Do you really want to know, Headmaster Joss?”
“I…” the headmaster pauses for a bit before finally answering. “Tell me.”
“You may want to sit down for this.”
“Just fucking tell me already.”
“You’re going to die soon.”
“Fuck!”
“And just to clear things up, it is not due to being involved in any mechanism by my hands. Or because you were targeted by my enemies. Look, Headmaster Joss, the term ‘as healthy as an ox’ doesn’t really apply to you. Years of being complacent and heavy drinking has transformed your body from a grand temple into a common outhouse. You’re what? Sixty? Sixty five?”
*growls “I’m fifty three years old.”
“See? In a continent where every odd year a war will break out between feuding kingdoms, where the average expected lifespan of an individual is fifty, you who managed to thrive and survive for this long albeit barely, could almost be considered a miracle in itself.”
“…How long have I got?”
“In the original timeline, you drank yourself to death before the end of this year. This was way back when you had been pushed out of office by Master Haithur of course.”
“And now?”
“Well using conventional methods… healthy diet, exercises, eating your green vegetables… you’ll probably have five good years left in you… seven tops, before you’ll eventually slow down and take the inevitable dirt nap.”
“You really are the bearer of bad news…”
“If it’s any consolation, I really hate giving bad news to good people.”
“So there’s no chance of me being by my family’s side… protecting my daughters, thirty years from now.”
“Not ordinarily, no.”
………
…..
..
“Wait… you've said conventional methods just now. Which means...” the headmaster who’s been aimlessly pacing up and down the room stops and turns to look at the boy “Are there any unconventional methods?”
The boy beams a wide smile at Headmaster Joss when he hears the man ask this.
********************
It was during the journey back to the Whiteford Academy that Headmaster Joss decided to ask the boy another question that’s been bugging him for a while now.
“So how did your meeting with Ser Rayze go?” asks the headmaster nonchalantly as he gazes out the carriage window.
“…” the boy who is deep in thought immediately looks up, a surprised expression can be seen from his face.
The headmaster turns his head to meet the boy’s inquisitive gaze.
“I saw him lurking from the corner of my eyes as I was exiting the inn to go to the restaurant.”
“…”
“Oh, come on. Did you really think someone with his build and red hair would escape my notice?”
“It’s nothing really. He just wanted to stop by and check on my health. Ser Rayze is a member of the school board after all.”
“And?”
“He also asked me if I knew where Master Haithur might be headed.”
“That’s it?”
“Well, yeah…”
“Huh.” says the headmaster with a little snort at the end as he turns his head to return looking through the carriage window, watching the sceneries pass by.
“What is it, Headmaster Joss?”
“No, it’s just that… judging by the way you chased me out of the room, I thought that there’d be more to the matter than what you were willing to let on.”
“Actually, I also wanted to spend some quality time with Synnove here. It was a nice room after all, very comfy bed you see. It’d be a shame to let it go to waste.”
“Just so you’ll know, that won’t work with me anymore.”
“What won’t work?”
“You… saying shocking and uncouth things in order to distract me.”
“Distract you from what exactly?”
“That you had a meeting with someone who has deep ties with Ouroboros. Ser Rayze is a well-connected member from the organization, is he not?” says the headmaster as he stops gazing out the window and turns to look at the boy for a second time.
“Okay, Headmaster Joss, either you’ve successfully concealed some mind reading powers that I don’t know about, which is no small feat by the way…”
“Why do I feel like there’s an insult coming up?”
“Or you’re the most brilliant of actors who managed to accomplish the impressive task of fooling me into thinking that you’re nothing but a simple-minded drunk.”
“Yup, there it is. How the fuck did you managed to do that? Compliment me and abuse me at the same time?”
“It's a rare gift. Then how did you…”
“Try spending a whole hour starring at a goblet of wine, unable to drink a drop, and your mind tends to wander upon other matters as well.”
“Figures.”
“Plus your exaggerated reaction just now pretty much confirms my suspicion.”
“Oh…“
“I’ve told Master his penchant for talking and over-dramatization will get him in trouble one day.”
“Synnove?”
“Yes Master?”
“Be quiet. And I’m still very crossed with you.”
“I understand, Master.”
*sighs “Anyway Headmaster Joss, to be fair, what you did just now is pretty impressive. And I’m not someone who is easily impre- Hey guys, look! A rainbow…” says the boy in awe as he stares out the carriage window.
“Stop acting the fool and answer me seriously for once.”
“But it’s a rainbow. What kind of soulless evil bastard doesn’t like rainbows?”
“What did Ser Rayze really want!?”
“Fine! He had some burning questions about me that he needed answering.”
“And if he didn’t like those answers?”
“We would have never left that room alive. All three of us.”
“Yeah, I kinda had a hunch about that as well.”
“Wait… on your way back from the restaurant, you knew there was a possibility you could be walking into an ambush…”
“Yes?”
“Yet, what matters most to you the moment you entered that room was to ask me why you couldn’t enjoy your drink?”
“Well, seeing how we’re unmolested, still breathing and enjoying each other’s company in this carriage which is on its way back to the academy uninterrupted, I’d dare say I got my priorities right. Turns out not being worried about you is the correct thing to do.”
“Headmaster Joss, you really need to get your priorities straight.”
“Anyway, I kinda have the feeling you could handle it. If you were unable to do so, you would have asked me for help. And besides, I don’t think Ser Rayze really wanted you dead.”
“What makes you say that?”
“It was something he shouted immediately after you got stab with Master Haithur’s knife. It’s also part of the reason why I suspected him of being from Ouroboros.”
“…”
The boy scrunches his forehead, trying to recall the incident. But all that comes to his mind is the unsightly image of Headmaster Joss puking on the table in front of him. Before the boy could use his powers to find out the answer, the headmaster decided to step in and enlightened him.
“When you got stab with the Master Haithur’s knife, he ordered that no one touches the blade because it was poisonous. The only other reason that I could think of as to why Ser Rayze would know that fact, besides both of them being from the same organization, is maybe Master Haithur had shown the former general his dagger during dinner at Ser Rayze’s house and said ‘Hey, looky ere at mah fancy poisonous blade.’”
“It could be he shouted that order due to the heat of the moment. And that was a terrible impression of Master Haithur by the way.”
“You really think someone like Ser Rayze who’s been a general for so many years is person who panics easily? And also, bite me."
“Still doesn’t justify the reason why you think he won’t kill me. After all, I had calculated that there’s a 95% chance of-”
“He also ordered for Master Haithur to be brought back immediately so that the antidote he has in his possession could be given to you. Now, if that isn’t concern for you, then I don’t know what is.”
“…”
“Look, what little I know of Ouroboros, maybe more rumors than fact, is that any members who managed to distinguish themselves to the organization will carry a special blade. This blade is endowed with a combination of poisons unique to each individual. They will also carry on them a custom-made antidote for the poison on that particular blade, just in case accidents happen.”
“…”
“What is it? Is there something on my face?”
“No, it’s just that… I feel like I’m meeting the real you for the first time. You’ve taught me a very valuable lesson today, Headmaster Joss.”
“What lesson?”
“That a person’s true worth, their value, can never be assigned with a number… a percentage. No, numbers and calculations can only get you so far... The rest is up to the strength of the human heart.”
“Right… you're being weird now." the headmaster then realizes how ridiculous that statement sounds, which is why he decides to correct himself. "Okay, you’re being a lot weirder than usual.”
“I think I finally realize the reason why I chose you over Master Haithur. I knew there was a rational explanation for that illogical decision. Even though I couldn’t properly justify it at that time. Even though the percentage didn’t agree with me.”
“I don’t know whether I should be comforted or concerned that you have so much faith in me.”
This text was taken from Royal Road. Help the author by reading the original version there.
“And to think I almost hesitated for a second back then during that night in the north hall. Still, I’m really glad I went with you instead.”
“Yeah… Wait, what’s this about you choosing me over Master Haithur?”
“Hmm? It’s nothing really.”
“Don’t casually brush it off. You said something funny just now.”
“Do you really want to know, Headmaster Joss?”
“My days of spending my time being ignorant in bliss are over. Tell me.”
“Well, using my powers, I calculated that I have a higher percent of success with my plans if I chose Master Haithur to be the next Headmaster of the Whiteford Academy. This is after I turned him over to my side, of course.”
“How much of a percent?”
“Around 40%.”
“Then how about with me?”
“Oh, maybe about 5%-ish. It was actually 4.96% but I’m just rounding it up to make you feel good.”
“Then why would you-“
“Because I would take your 5% over Master Haithur’s 40% percent any day, every day, until the end of eternity.”
“…”
A heavy silence falls inside the carriage, the only sounds left are that of the spinning carriage wheels as they creak and moan when running across some random pebbles on the road. Occasionally, they could hear their driver outside, Kulyk shouting and cracking his reins as he guides the horses back to the academy.
“You’re a fool…” says the headmaster without turning his head as he continues gazing out the carriage window.
“You’re welcome.”
“Don’t think this will make me happy.”
“Headmaster Joss, what did I say about you acting like a tsundere? It doesn’t really suit someone of your age and character.”
“And what happens if I end up failing you?”
“Failure isn’t an option for the both of us, Headmaster Joss.”
“…”
“And besides, you have a compelling reason not to be neglectful in upholding your duties.”
“My daughters... and my wife.”
“Yes. They still love you, you know.”
“I know.”
“Maybe in the near future, when we have a moment to spare, I’ll help you patch things up with them again.”
“There’s no way in hell I’m letting you near my family!”
“But for the time being, we need to conclude our business deal. I’ve held up my end, removing Master Haithur. Now I need you to fulfill your part of the bargain.”
“Use my connections in the Order of Enahel to send out summons for a meeting to the rulers of the kingdoms in the Grandiel Continent…”
“Yes. Anyway, ordinarily this would already be an arduous task in itself. But there’s a catch…”
“I knew I should have read the fine prints before I sold my soul!”
“Those summons need to be sent out using the Black Letters. Of course, I will be helping you achieve this. These are the Black Letters that we’re talking about after all.”
“You know, a year ago if someone had told me that, I would have ask them to step out of this carriage which is travelling in high speed, but now… there is nothing you can say or do that will ever surprise me.”
“Don’t sweat it, Headmaster Joss. Remember when I said I will be assisting you? Getting those letters written will be a walk on the park for me.”
“Seriously. You have broken the part of my brain which handles surprises. I will never be shocked again.”
“Oh Headmaster Joss. Never say never.”
“Try me.”
“Your daughters have started dating now. Both of them.”
“WHAT!”
********************
As the carriage enters the Whiteford Academy’s grounds, Kulyk expertly guides the horses to the stable. When the vehicle finally comes to a stop, the staff member in charge of taking care of the school’s horses immediately jumps down from where he’s been sitting and opens the door to the side of the carriage.
“We’re here, Sir.” says the man, not caring whether he’s addressing the boy or Headmaster Joss. All Kuylk wants to do is get the day over with. After what he’s been through, no one could blame the man.
“Thank you Kulyk, nice driving by the way. You’ve really earned those three gold coins.”
“Just doing my job, Sir.”
“Now, if you would be so kind as to tend to Headmaster Joss and see the poor tired elderly man to his room, after taking care of the horses and carriage of course, it will be much appreciated by me.”
“…”
“Goodbye Kulyk, I’ll just get out of your way so you can continue doing your job.”
“…”
Earlier, Headmaster Joss has harassed the boy so much on news regarding his daughters, the boy had no choice but to distract the headmaster by asking him to look out the window, and delivering a swift chop to his neck to render the man unconscious.
The headmaster is now currently slumped over the seat inside the carriage while snoring loudly.
As the boy is leaving the stable, his pigtails maid following closely behind him, the boy stretches his left arm as he yawns tiredly.
“Well I’m beat. I think I’ll head back to the manor and call it a day.”
“…”
“You have permission to speak now, Synnove.”
“Thank you, Master. I thought you were still sore with me.”
“Well my mouth and tongue certainly are. And did you really need to pull my hair that hard?”
“I’m sorry, Master. I got a little too excited.”
“Calling what you did to me as ‘excitement’ is a severe understatement, Synnove.”
“If Master like, you can return the favor later and pull my pigtails at the same time.”
“I’ll have to take a rain check on that.”
“I’ll hold you to your promise, Master.”
*sighs “Which promise? The one where you want to stab me a couple of times with a knife or the one where I should use your pigtails as reins?”
“Both.”
“Figures. Anyway, do you want to accompany me to Rolfe’s manor?”
“I think I’ll retire to my room, maybe ask my friend Delyth what sort of homework and class assignments I’ve been missing out on the last few days.”
“I would have asked you to send my regards to your friend, but I know how crazypossessive you can get. Anyway, as for tonight, will you be stopping by later to take Rolfe up on her offer to spend the night there, sleeping in your very own room at the mansion?”
“No, I don’t feel that particular need to do so today, not after I’ve had my fill of Master.”
“Just use me and throw me away, huh? Like a glass slipper… or a condom… or a glass condom.”
“And besides, knowing Rolfe, she probably has a nasty surprise waiting for me the moment I walk through that front door.”
“Did anyone ever tell you that you have a gift of foresight, Synnove?”
“I'll take that as Master agreeing with my assessment. Anyway, it’s what I would do if I was in her position.”
“You and Rolfe are more alike than you guys care to admit.”
“The only thing I have in common with her is we both love you deeply, and we both want to stay by your side.”
“That’s actually two things, Synnove.”
*sighs “I’ve just told Master that I love him, and he chose to focus on other things.”
“I can’t help it, I love to count. Count Coolculator. Oooh, that’s another great title. I should also add that to list of things they’ll be calling me.”
*groans “I guess a lame pun is the closest thing I could get to an answer for my confession. Goodbye for now, Master.”
Before the boy could react, the pigtails maid reaches for her master from behind, spins him around and kisses him deeply. All the while Synnove’s hands are around the boy’s neck and shoulder, to restrain him from escaping.
Just as the boy is contemplating using his left hand to tap on Synnove’s shoulder, asking her for a timeout, the pigtails maid finally releases her master’s lips, but she still has him locked in her embrace.
The boy looks up to the pigtails maid who is several inches taller than him.
“There are people watching, Synnove.”
“I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. Fuck em.”
“You know, this act and that attitude are unbecoming of a maid.”
“What is Master going to do, write a letter of complaint to the Maid Association? Maybe ask them to send a replacement?”
“Nah, you’ll probably send them and their suitcases packing.”
“I’m hurt that Master would think of me that way.”
“You will welcome them with open arms instead of turning them away?”
“No. I’ll probably send them back packed tightly in their suitcases.”
“That’s horrible, Synnove.”
“Is it? I’m told I’m pretty good at folding clothes.”
“Synnove, I specifically forbid you from folding anyone and stuffing them in a suitcase. A human body does not bend that way.”
“It does when enough pressure is applied. I have also been told that my body is pretty limber.”
“…”
“By the instructors at the training center. Gods, Master. Get your mind out of the gutter.”
*sighs “You do realize you’ve said goodbye about seven lines ago? And yet, here you are still.”
“And does Master realize that I’ve released him from my embrace since a while back? Its Master’s left hand around my waist that still keeps me here.”
“…”
The boy breaks eye contact with Synnove and looks down. Sure enough, it is as the pigtails maid has said. The boy releases her immediately.
“Ahahaha.”
“Something funny, Synnove?”
“Yesterday morning, when we met in that abandoned classroom after we’ve successfully rescued your friends, Master was all panicky and fidgety after you had kissed me.”
“I think that’s more due to the fact you tried to stab me with a knife. Not to mention you broke my right arm in three places with a freaking makeshift bat.”
“But now look at Master, all calm and collected… after we’ve shared an even deeper kiss.”
“Is there a point to this, Synnove?“
“It looks like the baby training works.”
“…”
“I’ll see you tomorrow, Master. Please don’t think about leaving without me.” says the pigtails maid with a smile as she turns to leave, heading towards the building where her private room is located in.
“You’re still determined on following me? Even after I’ve told you that your mother knows you’ve been playing hooky? It's a safe bet she knows about us as well.”
“Don’t you know the Devoted Maid’s Creed, Master? A maid’s place is one step back behind her master. Unless she’s retiring for the night of course. Which means she should sleep by her master’s side in his bed.”
“Stop twisting the Devoted Maid’s Creed with your own perverted interpretations! And don’t walk away Synnove. This conversation isn’t over yet.”
“It’s already too late, Master. I’ve already walked away too much.”
“No you haven’t. You can still turn around, come back and finish listening to what I have to say.”
“I’m sorry Master. I can’t hear you over the awesome sound of me making a resolute decision to join you tomorrow.”
“You do realize there will be consequences with your mother if you continue skipping classes in order to follow me?” says the boy in a loud voice to Synnove as she gets farther away
“Then I’ll burn that bridge when I come to it!” shouts the pigtails maid back without even looking behind her.
“Don’t say such cool one-liners! That’s my job!” is what the boy wanted to declare but he knows Synnove has walked well out of earshot.
“Fuck…” the boy mumbles gloomily as he kicks a pebble lying in his path on the way back to Rolfe Primero’s manor.
“I wanted to have the last line in that conversation.” sighs the boy as he shakes his head dejectedly.
********************************************************************************************
*sighs We got knocked back down from #38 to #40. Well that's life. Sometimes you're on top. And sometimes a hamster overtakes you.
Next chapter release will be the conclusion of DAY 4, which means anyone who's lookin for some sweet Rolfe Primero's lovin will have to hold on for a bit. Also, I decided to hold the Q and A until then, maybe release another comic in order to commemorate. If you have any questions, there is still some time to post them in the comments so I can read and dodge answer them.
And before anyone asks... Yes, condoms do exist in the Grandiel Continent. They're made with chemically treated linen and animal tissue (intestine or bladder) though.
This chapter is dedicated to readers wildex999, potemkin as well as the countless others who are kind enough to leave a review.
So what can the readers look forward to for the conclusion of Day 4? What sort of nasty surprise did Rolfe has in store for Synnove should she had chosen to follow the boy back to the manor? Will there be a new girl that's going to be introduced? Will this ff stop dragging half a page for a simple fucking goodbye? Find out next week on Demon Hero Reaper Saviour The Ultimate Vexation (thanks to reader Cruxio for the title suggestion).
Leave a review if you wanna help me reach the 30th place in the Best Rated category or a comment if you see any plot-holes, glaring grammar mistakes or just wanted to show your appreciation.