“What did you do?”

“Hmmm?”

“To my body just now… what did you do?”

“It’s called a reverse cowgirl positi-“

“I’m not talking about that!”

*laughs “Then you should have been clearer with your words.”

*sighs “I’m referring to the blood-mana thingamajig you did to my body.”

“Oh that? I’ve told you already, I leveled the playing field between Synnove and me. No outsiders allowed.”

“Yeah. I’m still not clear about that.”

“Remember the Goddess who gave you your powers?”

“The little girl? What about her?”

“I’ve severed the connection between you and her.”

*shouts out in alarmed “You did what?”

“Relax. You still have all your powers. And it’s really not as serious as it sounds.”

“Explain it to me quickly then before I freak out.”

“It’s actually more of a barrier really. I made sure she can’t summon you willy nilly.”

“…”

“Now you won’t have to worry about suddenly teleporting to her side because she called for you on a whim. I spared you the agony of having to walk on eggshells when you’re with a goddess, answering her every beck and call, living in a constant fear and carefully watching what you say or do because you’re scared you might offend her.”

“…”

“You’re welcome by the way.”

“…”

“What? Are you so shocked you can’t say ‘thank you’ properly?”

“No… it’s just that, outside of books, this is the first time I met someone who actually said ‘willy nilly’.”

“…”

“I mean, only old people and dorks would use-OW STOP BITTING YOU’RE GOING TO TEAR IT OFF!”

*grumbles “Serves you right, asshole.”

“It’s bleeding! I’m actually bleeding!”

“It's just a flesh wound.”

“Why aren’t my wounds healing already?”

“Maybe it’s because I coated my teeth with mana. Remember what I’ve said about injuries caused by mana attacks taking longer to heal?”

“Stop using mana for trivial stuff like biting!”

“Relax. You can hardly see the bite marks now.”

“…”

“Why the long face? Don’t tell me you’re disappointed I prevented you from becoming a Goddess’ pet?”

“Is it really going to be okay?”

“Yup. And now Synnove and I can compete comfortably for your affection without the fear of you suddenly disappearing from your bed in the middle of the night.”

“…”

“Trust me. I’ve saved you from a fate worse than death. And no, I’m not talking about marriage. Although being married is no worse than answering the whims of an almighty being, if you’re stuck in an unhappy marriage and the love is lost, at least there’s an option for a divorce… or the chance of one partner dying earlier than the other.”

“I guess with a goddess, the words ‘till death do us part’ don’t mean shit.”

“There’s nothing romantic about having a goddess fall in love with you. You think your wife’s a bitch for nagging your ear off because you left the toilet seat standing? Wait until a goddess catches you looking at, no I mean even thinking of another woman other than her.”

“So, a goddess is just like a normal typical wife then? Got it.”

“You don’t know the hell I went through to learn that blood sigil technique just so I could get away from this one clingy jealous goddess. Made me rue the day I seek her out in the first place.”

“You went looking for a goddess? Why?”

“To find a solution about my condition, of course. I was in a bad place, I felt that my countless reincarnations had been dragging on for far too long, and with no end in sight, I got desperate. Even though I should have learnt my lesson and avoid goddesses altogether after my run in with the first one.”

“Thanks to you, I’ve learnt that telling a goddess to go fuck herself is probably not a great idea.”

“Glad to be of service. Anyway, this new goddess, terribly clingy and jealous as you might have deduced from what I’ve said earlier, let’s just call her Jenny to protect her privacy. And also, it’s because that’s her actual name.”

“…”

“Anyway, Jenny, at first she was all sympathetic and understanding, giving her assistance and helping me in my search for answers. When that failed, she offered me a shoulder to cry on, after that her bed. Things were great for a while. Next thing I know, I wake up in the middle of the night and found her writing her name on my chest.”

“That doesn’t sound so bad.”

“Oh no no, she wasn’t using a pen.”

“…”

“She carved it…”

“Shit…”

“Using her fingernail.”

“Oh you poor bastard.”

“And sex with a goddess is really overrated by the way. It’s more punishment than pleasure. Unless you’re a god yourself, no mortal man can survive such fierce pounding, even if the goddess grants you powers and upgrade your body. It will still be like a horny She-Hulk having her way with a normal office worker.”

*gives Rolfe a blank look “…”

*sighs “Just imagine an elephant and a really tiny mouse.”

“I’m trying hard not to, the sheer mechanics of it are mind-boggling. Tell me your body at least had an increased healing factor?”

“Don’t need to. She can heal me.”

“Oh no…”

“I know, right? I can’t even use the cliché excuses such as ‘I walked into a sharp corner’ or ‘ I fell down some stairs’. Not that there’s anyone else I can turn to anyway.”

“This shit is messed up.”

“She kept breaking me and healing me. Saying she’s sorry and it won’t happen again. But a few moments later, I get pushed into a coffee table and I had absolutely no say nor the ability to push her off me."

“…”

“What?”

“You do realize the irony that parallels your past relationship and our current situation?”

“Ah, but there are some major differences.”

“Really? Please do tell me what they are?”

“I will never say I’m sorry.”

“Bastard.”

“And I’m too fond of my coffee table to break your body with it.”

*shouts “My place on your social totem pole is even lower than your furniture?”

*laughs “Anyway, one day, I finally got tired of her shit and while she was away, I stole the book of knowledge she kept locked in her vault, learned a few forbidden spells, and then casted some on myself.”

“After which you ran off into the sunset without the fear of having to look over your shoulder?”

“Nope. I committed suicide, satisfied with the knowledge that she can’t resurrect me and that my body is no longer her temple.”

“…”

“…”

“Now that I think about it, that’s actually not as deeply and heavily soul crushing as I initially thought it was when I first heard it.”

Stolen from its rightful author, this tale is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.

“I’m still alive and talking to you, aren’t I? Anyway, I walked away from the experience with a whole new outlook in life.”

“Having a few new-found powers to play with certainly help.”

“Yup. Thanks to her book of knowledge, I managed to get myself out of a scrape whenever I found myself up against a god or a goddess. Makes me grateful I didn’t kill Jenny.”

“Wait. You can actually kill gods? How?”

“Extremely fucking hard, that’s how. I mean, gods don’t become gods because they’re easy to kill.”

“Still waiting for that explanation, Rolfe.”

“There are many ways to kill a god. The simplest one, vis-à-vis could also be the hardest one, is to wipe out every single one of his worshipers.”

“…”

“Why? What’s the matter?”

“It’s nothing. Found a small piece of a jigsaw puzzle. Don’t know where it fits yet.”

“Start with the edges and work your way from there.”

“M’kay.”

“Anyway, Jenny’s mistreatment of me aside, she really helped me when I was down on my lowest low.”

“You’re only saying that because you’re looking through rose-tinted glasses.”

“Jenny marking me is not actually the worst part.”

“Don’t tell me. She carved multiple possible baby names on your body too?”

“Nope. It was dinner with her parents.”

Both beings laugh until their sides hurt. As the boy wipes a tear from his eye, he nudges the entity who is lying on top of him, trying to coax her into moving.

“Synnove will be back soon.”

“Mmmm.”

“We should really get going and clean ourselves in the bathroom.”

*sleepily “Just five more minutes.”

“That only works if you’re lying in your bed in the morning and you’re mother is waking you up for school!”

“It’s just a nice day today.  I think I’ll call the office and pretend to be sick.”

“Apologize to your boss for lying and to your co-workers who have to pick up the slack!”

“Doctors advised waiting half an hour after eating before going into the water.”

“That’s only applicable for swimming, and what sort of eating are we talking about here!”

The entity doesn’t answer the boy but continuously nuzzle her face against his chest.

“Rolfe…” the boy whispers, almost pleading.

The entity looks up with a huff, puffing her checks and glaring at the boy, all while still resting her chin on the boy’s chest.

“You do realize having us suddenly all nice and clean and wearing new clothing is as good of a sign to tell that girl what we’ve been up to?”

“I know, but there’s still such a thing as being a respectful competitor and not openly gloating.”

“If she can’t stand the heat…”

“Don’t tell me you’re doing this to rub it in her face…”

*coldly “Believe me, if I was rubbing her face in, I would be wiping skull fragments and brain matter from my hand.”

“I know. And I’m really grateful you’re holding back for my sake.”

*huffs “I’m not doing it for your sake, asshole…”

“I know…”

“…”

“…”

“Okay! I’ll go to the bathroom with you.”

“Thank the gods.”

“But on one condition.”

“Godsdamnit!”

“Actually, make it two.”

“Fine! Tell me what they are before you change your mind or make more demands.”

“The first one, carry me there.”

“…”

“Is there a problem?”

“You do realize you’re bigger than me, and heavier…”

“So? Just used the super human strength the goddess gave you.”

“And I have only one working hand.”

“A bridal carry is out of the question then. I guess I’ll just have to settle for a piggyback ride.”

“…”

My house. My rules. My call. Remember?”

“Fuck it. Whatever. Get on.”

The boy struggles as he carries the entity to the bathroom. Thankfully, it’s not on the second floor. The tired, hungry boy doesn’t have time to enjoy the two pleasant sensations pressing into his back. Synnove will be back soon and the boy really needs to wipe down the floors, walls, ceilings, furniture entire living room and do some serious damage control in order to avert the Apocalypse from arriving a little too early.

“As for my second condition…” the entity suddenly whispers into the boy’s ears as she hugs him a little bit more tightly than before.

*pants “Yes?”

“Please don’t look at me with such fearful eyes ever again.”

“…”

“You’re the only one I can’t stand to look at me with such eyes. It hurt me in more ways than I care to explain.”

“Okay.”

“If you have any misgivings or things you don’t agree with, you can always tell me straight up.”

“Honesty is the highest form of intimacy…”

“I’ll try my best to understand your arguments before beating you senseless for daring to go against me.”

“…although with you it’s not always the best policy.”

“Don’t worry. I’ll promise to be gentle and to forgive you the morning afterwards.”

“I wonder if Headmaster Joss knows of any domestic abuse shelter that I can take refuge in.”

“You’ll come back to me. You always do.”

“I know. Besides, you have my scent now so there’s no place I can hide. And running away will only make it worse.”

“You’re still worried…”

“Not about you or Synnove, mind you.”

“Then it’s about your goddess then.”

“I still think it’s a mistake to cut off my connection with the little girl.”

“An easy enough oversight. You haven’t met enough gods or goddesses to form an adequate and reliable opinion regarding them.”

“…”

“Trust me when I say this…” whispers the entity as she nibbles on the boy’s ear as he struggles to open the door with his one good hand.

“To err is human, to really fuck you up requires a goddess.”

********************************************************************************************

Good news everyone! As of this moment, Demon Hero Reaper Saviour is is currently in the #49th place in the Active Top 50 ranking. Please give a huge round of applause (bows down). Thank you, thank you. Proudest day of my life. Seriously Ma, get the camera,

As for the Best Rated ranking, we're in the #79th place (small round of applause). Doesn't give me the same warm fuzzy feeling but hey, I'll take what I can get. But it actually feels nice knowing where you're standing in the totem pole.

This chapter is dedicated to qtjr168 and SkullCrusher who left a comment on every chapter. And also to anyone else who left a comment and a review (you know who you are).

Thank you.

PS And to the ones who are always lurking, can I pretty please get some more review? I promise you, there's a blueberry muffin in it for you if you do.