"Doo da doo da doo walkin down cave, bum bum bum, gonna get a seizure, boo ba boop boop, can't find the exit, DaDaDaDaDaa".

*Growl*

{Beatbox part stops} "Huh?"

“What the hell was that, was it the growl of the Chimera?” (Or perhaps the mating call of a minion of Cthulhu, or maybe the most dangerous of all).

“The stomach growl of a Lvl 1 human with dwindling sanity and multiple personalities. The growl of a fool’s stomach,who, rather than doing further research, had decided to jump in to a random server and location, and was now stuck in a cave”.

(Ok D Serious Time)

“Mental Log #1” (Time to try out

“Hol'up” ( where's the mana cost? )

(That's not how spells work, spells are supposed to consist of an effect number that affects a target, that is the very definition of a spell in any type of VRMMORPG, hell even the old RPG's, so why isn't there any information on the ?)

(Maybe because it's an action classified as rather than spell, so maybe it doesn't apply to the logic of spells and is only bound to the affect, the spell has given after casting).

"Yeah that about sums it up, ".

^Player has been put under the affect for 10:00 Minutes.

"Cool, no hunger for 10 minutes that's not bad".( Especially at no cost to myself )

“Lets keep walking”

{As I continued to wander through the cave, I began to hear the sound of water dripping, as well as the sound of wood crackling, as if it were being burnt, I begin to see light ahead, moving and writhing like that of a tortured being, as well as cold, stone bricks}

(I might need a torch for light, better ste-borrow that real quick).

“Huh, why is it so bright all of a sudden? Where’s this wind coming from, and why is it pushing against my back?”

{I look down, and below me spans a town, complete with a large castle, spanning out for kilometers.}

{The only problem being, I was now plummeting towards said town}.

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{Whilst gazing upon the beautiful scenery; the wonderous castle, it's beutiful garden and the sheer amount of trees I see over the Horizon, I suddenly felt as if I had been stabbed in the gut by herself.}

“Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Shit! Fuck! Fuck! Shit! GOOOOOD DAAAMNED SHIITY DEEEEV’s!!!”

^Player has fallen 1526 meters to his death, shattering every bone, except for his thick skull, in the process. The death in a Town does not result in the loss of items.

*Blip*

^Welcome Player to Ishville, would you like to start the tutorial, Y/N?

“What the fuck?”

“Why? What the hell? Where is this, spawn?”

(Ishville? What kind of stupid name is that?)

{I looked down from the spawn platform and saw a very linear path to what seems to a house, its color more emphasized than the surrounding buildings.}

“… Yes, I would like to go through the tutorial”

^Great! Please walk towards the Village Chief's home and accept her quest,

“...”

^[Village Chief] Ah, Jahil I have wondering where you have been, please help me find my left oven mitt before the bread I'm baking burns.

^The Quest has all requirements met, would you like to accept? Y/N

“...Yes”

^[Village Chief] Great! Thank you Jahil now please locate my before the bread burns, I think only 2 minutes remain.

{I see a worried look on the woman’s face and I look around the small kitchen to see a cloth mitten lying on the door handle, I pick up the mitt and give it to the worried chief.}

^[Village Chief] Ah, AH! Thank you Jahil for finding the so quickly let me get the bread.

{When she ran past me I think her ears were quite red though, her face did not show it.}

^Congratulations Player For Completing the quest Would you like to accept the rewards <5 Loaves of Crispy Bread>? Y/N

“...... Yes”

^Player Jahil has acquired <5 Loaves of Crispy Bread>

{I look at the Village Chief’s ears and they’re still red}

(Hmm I’m just a little curious but.)

{I hold a loaf of bread}

“Item Description”

*Blip*

Uncommon

This particular piece of bread was kept in the oven for a little too long, but has resulted in a much more aromatic and refined crust. When eaten you shall feel the passionate love and pleasure that the baker had felt during the time of baking. per consumption of loaf.

(Guess the chief put a different type of ‘bun in the oven’ while the bread was being made, an interesting mechanic nonetheless)

^Congratulations for completing the tutorial Player

“Wait that’s it?! It was so short. That easy ass quest was the whole tutorial? Where was the combat, the world building, the struggle?!?! The only mechanic I learned is that when you fuck next to bread it tastes better!!”

{I see the Chief’s face turn bright red and quickly leave the kitchen as soon as I had said that aloud}

^You have activated the hidden quest would you like to accept? Y/N

“Oh, I see now, nice touch shitty DEV’s.”