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Dead Men [Marvel/Other?]
(Tobi) Chapter 2: Fight insanity with insanity

(Tobi) Chapter 2: Fight insanity with insanity

(TOBI) CHAPTER 2: FIGHT INSANITY WITH INSANITY

Wandering around the base, Tobi despite the danger of the situation was content with the fact that he had regained control of his body. Maybe it was because he ate a whole cafeteria full of food or the fact that he was confident he was safe. Tobi did not know but he was not going to question it right now.

Behind him were the defeated forms of the guards littered the floor. They put up quite a fight using laser weaponry but the surprise of being attacked by seafood caught them off guard. A slowly healing white carparce had shielded Tobi as he wrapped tentacles around them crushing and hurled them against each other

[https://i.pinimg.com/originals/58/07/40/5807401baa2233a1aa61f73ca3959b02.jpg]

https://i.pinimg.com/originals/58/07/40/5807401baa2233a1aa61f73ca3959b02.jpg

‘Wish they had something to identify them with, everything is too generic I can’t tell where the hell I am.’ From his imprisoned room, the guards and his powers. There was not enough for him to pinpoint what world he was in. The mutant comment put a point towards marvel but then in most universes the word mutant was a generic insult.

No more guards were attacking him now, the steel hallways were just full of red blaring lights. Even the robotic voice was quiet. ‘Had they all evacuated or are they going to use tr-’

Mechanic walls rose from the floor and were starting to seal the entire corridor. Sizzling white gas came in from vents beside him. Instead of running through the hallway Tobi just pointed his drill at the ceiling and jumped.

The drill spun digging into his replenished stamina reserves as he drilled his way to freedom. Bland floor after floor he passed, some containing computers and various instruments he had never seen and offices. Soon he arrived in a large dome hall, filled with blood, jailed cells and clinical beds alongside equipment filled it. As he landed on the bloody floor his eyes widened, as they fell upon the sole occupant of the room.

Strapped to a bloody clinical bed was a familiar man. Tumors littered his cancer riddled body but his bald face was one Tobi would recognise anywhere. Despite the amount of blood the man had probably bled, he was still alive and just staring at Tobi.

Approaching the man to get a better look, Tobi spoke up. “Deadpool?”

“Who the fuck is that, the name’s Wade Wildon.” The name was all he needed to hear, to know which universe he was in. “If you're done staring at my sexy body, can you do me a solid and use that claw to cut me loose.”

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“So you're telling me that I really did sign up for the superhero program, just one of the later programs made after Weapon 1 which is good old captain America.” Somehow there were weapons and armour in the operating room, putting on a vest and proper pants. Deadpool… well he was Wade Wilson right now. Arming himself, Tobi looked away giving the merc privacy “Well that makes me a whole lot better, Francis kept saying all those generic evil boss lines about how I’m a disposable weapon and so on. Guy loves to monologue a lot.”

“Still how the hell did you know all this.” Inspecting a pistol, the merc shot Tobi a curious look. “Is that why they nabbed and poked at you?”

“No idea as for where the internet is a weird space and when you get in a place like this. Things start to make sense”

“Ah good old conspiracy theorists online. When they're right they're so dead on but most of the time their raving about lizard people or aliens.”

Stolen from its rightful author, this tale is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.

“So do you know the way out.” “My plan was to just drill out”

“Drill your way to the heavens eh.”

“Wait was that-”

“You’ve only adopted the internet, I was born in it molded by it. I was a man by the time I reached this story.”

Before Tobi could ask if Deadpool was being meta with that quote. The door to the room was busted in and a feral looking girl in black spandex came rushing in. Two claws popping out of her hands while one came out of each foot, she let out a bestal roar and lunged at Tobi.

Wade’s pistols flashed, firing a warning shot but the girl moved slightly. The bullet sliced part of her cheek and strands of her long black hair but the wound healed instantly. “Who’s this girl? She’s a little to young to be in here”

“X-23 a girl raised her to be an assassin” Despite the different looking interactions of her character her claws, healing and her long hair were all Tobi needed to identify her.

Tentacles sprouted out of Tobi’s left hand surrounding X-23 but unlike the guards who were caught by this. The clone of wolverine sliced into the tentacles with her bone claws. “Eh keep things PG, you know what happens with girls and tentacles.” Wade threw a grenade at the floor which then bounced through the gaps between the tentacles and ended up behind her.

“I’m pretty sure it’s only if she gets caught in them.” Tobi’s right hand morphed into a hammer and slammed down on the floor hard forcing it to collapse. The bantereing Duo were safe however Laura fell. “Plus throwing a grenade at her ain’t any better Wade”

“Point, but still it’s the principle of the matter.” Using a machine gun, the older of the duo sprayed the lower floor with gun fire preventing the girl from coming back up.

“She’s a clone of the person whose power was given to you” Reabsorbing the sliced limbs off, Tobi aimed down and sprayed ink on various pieces of debris. His plan was to cut off any chance she could pull an anime move and leap over them to lunge at him.

“Oh so my power came from a hot chick. Nice.” The ink was of no use as Laura being the resourceful assassin ran further back away from their sight before running up a wall and stabbing her claws into the ceiling.

“No James Howlett is male.” Wade paused momentarily before firing the moment he saw flashes but the assassin gracefully evaded. Some shots landed but it did little damage to the regenerator.

“Well that’s a bummer. At least he has a manly name.” Catching a glimpse of her Tobi grabbed a nearby operating table and hurled it hoping to smack Laura down. Only for her to leap into the air, letting herself get shot and use the bed to jump back onto the floor. “A friendly tip throw something that she can’t walk on next time”

Before the fighting could resume a loud whistle drew the three’s attention. At the entrance of the room stood a tall dark skinned woman wearing a tight skin military outfit. ‘Why do people wear so much tight skinned clothes in this world? Oh wait-’

“Most scientists and higher up in these facilities are perverts!” Wade finished Tobi’s thought for him, feeling Tobi’s stare at him he casually replied. “That look on your face makes your inner dialogue so obvious young padawan.”

“You sure know a lot Subject PWXI.” Strutting like she owned the place, the woman glared at Laura’s back. “After the useless girl catches you, I’m going to have a nice time chatting with you.”

“Who’s this obvious female villain with clear childhood issues.”

“Her name’s Kimura and she has dense skin and can somewhat phase through things.” Unlike Wade staring at the two with a deadpan, Tobi was starting to worry slightly at their chances. “She was made to counter-” Laura ran forward to stab him ignoring the bullets digging into her body courtesy of Deadpool.

Bone claws met armoured fists and the two young duos started fighting. Kimura charged at Wade and bullets just bounced off her so Wade leaped back trying to put some distance between them. Then lobbed a grenade at Kimura who had a look of a cat playing with a wounded bird. Covering her face, with her arms she ran into the grenade.

An explosion rang out, from the fire and smoke and an undamaged Kimura ran out. Her clothes were signed but her skin was unharmed.

“Oh so she’s one of those hard ass bitches, that’s clearly made for males to fantasise about and be nothing more than a sub boss for the protags to beat.”

Landing a kick on Laura, talons emerged from his foot pinning her down. “Accurate she’s really just a mean girl with powers.” Tobi gasped in pain as Laura clawed at the foot and on reflection he kicked her away.

“The higher ups wanted you alive, they said nothing about you losing a limb o-” Kimura quickly closed her mouth as a bullet bounced off her lips. She glared hatefully at a smirking Wade.

“I love it much better when you shut that mouth of yours. You're clearly overcompensating”

“Pretty much, I’ll leave her to you.”

“Good now you two play nice, Good old uncle Wilson needs to take care of a thot” Before Tobi could respond, Laura lunged back at him like an angry badger going for his throat. The armoured youth responded with a punch which soon devolved into a brawl. Their fight started to destabilize the already damaged ground and the two fell to the lower floor.

Waving cheekingly as the two fought Wade, fired another shot at a charging Kimura, Forcing her to close her eyes as bullets slid off her eyelids. “You think-” Forced to raise her hand towards her mouth a dented bullet fell to the floor. She kept the hand there and did not reopen her eyes. “-you can beat me, please your nothing but a cancer filled reject.”

“True but there’s one thing you have forgotten thot.” Instead of attacking Wade posed dramatically “I have the power of the internet on my side”