0:005 on the 1st day of Winter

I awoke suddenly to a loud CRACK. The nightmare faded slowly as I discovered I was drenched in cold sweat. I looked around at my room but there was no sign of what had made the sound. As I got my breathing under control I tried to remember what horror my dreams had put me through this time. Oh, it was a classic. I had relived the day that my mother died hundreds of times by now. The dark and eerie quiet of Cinder's grand ritual room. The crack of the summoning chamber opening. The monster that emerged. The cold shard of black ice that pierced my left temple.

As I tried to clear my head I thought back to the night before. What happened again? Mistila awakened. I left the party with a bottle of spirits from the drinks table. I came back to my room and… well heck. Not my finest hour then.

I pulled myself upright. There was a lerch in my gut but I managed to keep everything down. I stayed like that for a while to let the nausea pass. After a minute I looked around. Daylight was coming in through the closed shutters. The candle on the table had burned down to a nub next to a half full bottle of wheat alcohol. As I looked at the bottle there was a loud CRACK from outside. I jumped to my feet, my heart suddenly racing. I crossed to the window and threw open the shutters. There was another loud CRACK, but this time I could see it was coming from the practice yard. Mistila and father were standing next to each other about ten meters from a straw training dummy. Mistila had her hands out toward the dummy in a wide stance.

My heart slowed again as I realized what was going on. Every measure or so there was another CRACK and the air around the target would explode in red fire. The dummy burned for a mark or two before extinguishing itself. Father was also a fire mage so he must be suppressing the fire every time she lights it. He would be over the moon excited to be able to train one of us in fire magic. No wonder he's got her out there at dawn.

I closed the shutters and crossed back to my desk. I thought about how I reacted to the sound just now. I am so, so tired of being afraid all the time. Even since… Well, ever since Mother passed I have been jumping at shadows. I think that was when it really hit me just how dangerous the world really is. My memories as Theod Aegis are much more clear and recent than my memories of earth. But both my pasts have plenty of trauma to provide nightmare fuel.

On Earth my name was Ted Shields. Either a staggering coincidence or perhaps we were always connected somehow. I grew up in Texas. Both my parents had died in a car crash when I was a teenager but I managed to put myself through college with what they left me. My mother had been a weapon systems tech in the US Navy so after college I found a job with a defense contractor. I liked it. It was interesting work. I remember a whole career worth of projects including a few on the nuclear weapon stockpile. I was proud of my work. Until everything ended. I remember the day when the bombs started falling. First one I heard about was Washington, then Moscow, then Beijing. Who knows who fired first. After that, a billion people died in a day. I remember the dread. The hopeless terror. I died on the second day in a ball of nuclear fire.

I picked up the bottle of spirits and sniffed its contents. Nope nope nope. Looks like I will have to find some other way to deal. I was never very religious back on Earth but the old adage comes to mind that there are no atheists in foxholes. Despite being entirely false, a similar thought two years ago made me look into what this world had to say about the nature of the divine. Quite a lot as it turns out. As far as I can tell there was never anything like the crusades in this world so there is a whole range of options to pick from, even just in this one city. I found temples to many gods of bravery, gods of battle, and gods of noble sacrifice, even a god of heroes. None of those appealed to me as I have seen too many brave idiots die bravely charging monsters or other brave idiots. Instead, I chose to venerate a little known god I found in a small temple near the pit. Mezikyle, or Mez for short, is a god of monsters and their magic. I figured, you know, maybe I could get on her good side.

There was another CRACK that made me jump. That's right, Mistila is a fire mage now. Every one of my family are mages now. Except for me. Every damn one of them has the power to fight demons and monsters except for me. Was I envious? Maybe a little. More than that I was angry at the injustice of it. Why do they get power? But there I go again spiraling into negativity. Just like last night. I resolved to put on a brave face for Mistila. She didn't need to hear my little pity party on her big day. Out of everyone, I know just how life-changing this was for her.

***

0:055 on the 1st day of Winter

After a late breakfast I made my way out to the practice yard. I was glad to see that Mistila was alone. The practice yard is an enclosed dirt and sand field at the top floor of Aegis manor. It is only about ten by twenty meters but getting to see the sky makes it one of our family's many great privileges.

I was walking up when I saw a purple glow pop into existence past her. From this range I heard a loud buzz just before the crack. The buzz triggered a vague memory. Some familiarity that I couldn't quite place. It made me pause briefly before calling out to her.

"Hey Mistila. Can you wait for a bit?" I called.

She turned around to see who it was and then waved me over. As I joged up I could see her pulling something out of her ears. Wax? I guess that's only sensible.

"Hey sister, I wanted to come and apologize for disappearing last night after… well after." I said. "I also wanted to say congratulations for awakening. I know you really wanted this."

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I gave her as big and genuine of a smile as I could muster.

"Thanks brother." she said.

Then she hesitated, like she wanted to say more.

"What are you practicing?" I asked before she could go on. Her train of thought was effectively derailed.

"This is the basic fireball spell. Father is a good teacher but I am a bit worried about his standards. He said to practice this until I can shape the ball, which seems impossible right now." she said.

"Can I see?" I asked.

She shrugged and put the wax balls back in her ear. There was a tray of it out so I picked up some too. We looked toward the target which had been replaced with a small iron ball on a metal pole. She held out her hands, palms facing the target with a slight curve. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes. Then she slowly pulled her hands back until her palms were facing each other. There was a much softer buzzing sound that still made it through the earplugs. Then she opened her eyes and in one swift motion, she thrust out her hands. There was a loud buzz and a cloud of purple glowing gas appeared at the target followed swiftly by a head sized ball of fire.

I had seen fire magic before but not really drawn out like this. Father would light the fireplace with a wave of his hand and there wasn't really any buzz or purple glow. I was curious what the difference was. I clapped for her in congratulations and she gave a mock bow. After we removed the wax I thought of a question.

"What does it feel like?" I asked.

"Strange. Powerful. A bit addictive if I'm being honest." she said. "Apparently it can become painful for mages who don't use their magic often enough but I don't think I will have to worry about that."

"What is the purple glow?" I asked.

"Father says that is the magic before it turns into fire. He said that it can be different colors depending on what you are burning and that practice can almost entirely eliminate it." she said.

My mind was racing. Was fire mana flammable? Was she expelling some gas that fueled the flame somehow? But no, there was no pause between her motion and the gas. If she was expelling some material then it would take time to get there and leave a trail. Before I could go any further down that particular rabbit hole my thoughts were interrupted.

"Brother. Can we talk?" said Mistila.

"Of course," I said, worry at her tone already causing my voice to waiver.

"You know I'm here for you right? If you ever need to talk." she said.

I nodded and gave her my best fake smile. She just winced at that.

"I know we've talked a lot this year about awakening. At least since Ingo." she said. "My awakening doesn't somehow mean that you won't. I still hold out hope that you will too someday."

Then she gave me the most encouraging smile. She was so hopeful that it broke my heart to look at. My brave front slid off my face.

"You know, late awakenings are super rare sister." I said. "And they tend to be much less powerful too. Awakening now, at your age, means you are already several times as strong as I would be if I awakened at my age."

"But" she started to say before I cut her off.

"No Mistila, I turn twenty in only three tendays. Less than one in a hundred mages awaken after they turn twenty and those that do are almost always too weak to fight using magic." I said. I was angry but not at her.

"After Ingo awakened, I told you I still held out hope." I said. "That was half a year ago now. At this point … I just have to accept that I will live as a mundane."

I stopped and ran my hands through my hair. "I'm sorry sister, you don't deserve this. I am genuinely happy for you." I said.

"This means that you can go into the mage service, defend Cinder, and have your pick of what you want to do after. I am so happy for you."

I meant it too. Her safety and happiness brought me peace of mind and joy. However, I don't think it would be possible to say that without a sliver of my bitterness slipping. There was a long pause after that. Neither Mistila nor I were looking at each other.

"Thank you for that brother." she said.

There was another long silence as we both just stood there.

"What do you think you'll want to do?" I asked, trying to change the subject.

"Now that you are a fire mage and all?"

She seemed to relax as the tension eased a bit.

"I don't know. Father wants another battle mage so I think he will be pushing me in that direction." She said. "With the fall of the capital I'm not sure I have a choice. He told me that scouts are already seeing signs of demons headed our way."

She paused in contemplation.

"Yes, but what do you want?" I asked. That broke her out of her thoughts.

"I think I'd like crafting or alchemy better." she said.

I smiled genuinely at that.

“You and I could team up.” I said.

For a while Mistila and I just talked. She told me her dance partner of the previous evening was a Neverin named Jaku Osman. Apparently they were genderless, which wasn't all that uncommon where they were from. Something about how rocks and rivers didn't have a gender so why should people be bound one. Mistila was excited that they had already send her a letter asking to see her again. It felt nice to just talk with her. I pretended like we would just go on like we were before her awakening. But I knew that she would drift away. All of our siblings had. More than that I knew that change was coming. Having memories of one armageddon, I could see how everyone was moving forward despite all the signs that things were falling apart around them. If the demons came to Cinder in force, we were all going to die. But what else was there to do? Run away? No, I might not be a mage but I would stay and fight however I could. But they wouldn't come today and probably not tomorrow so we kept on as if we would live forever.