After James told me about Amara’s request, I quickly organized, unfortunately my legs were too weak, so James had to carry me until the town’s walls.
“James, I don’t want others to see me like this, put me down.” I whispered into his ear.
“You sure? We kind of took it too far Charlotte.” He joked with a wide smile.
In response I pinched his side. “Don’t get cheeky.”
Even though my legs wobbled as we walked through the town, I tried not to look at other people. All of a sudden, thoughts about the mess I did at Amara’s place five years ago popped up.
I need to make it up to her, maybe I should buy her some more Sidunder herbs for her tea?
After taking a small breath I looked up to James, “do you know what she wanted to talk about?”
He shook his head, “no idea at all but.” He turned his face to me with a brimming smile “what I do know is that Dante can already control mana, he must have learned it from our games.” He raised his head in pride.
My mind stopped working, “What?!” I shrieked only to look down when people started to stare.
“Amazing right? Our child is a living prodigy” James held my hand and kissed me on the cheek making my cheeks flush with warmth, “now let’s go and see what Amara wants to talk about.”
After a bit more walking, we reached Amara’s shop and entered.
We could see Amara and Dante sitting on the table littered with all kinds of sweets.
“You don’t like sweets at all huh, oh!” Amara exclaimed as she saw us, my baby also shined a smile at me as he rushed and hugged me.
After a warm embrace, I kissed Dante on the forehead, and praised him for controlling mana. “I heard that you wanted to talk with us Amara, did something happen?”
Amara waved her hand, “we’ll talk about it, come and sit I’ll make some tea.” She turned her gaze to Dante “child, why won’t you go and see the map a bit more, get yourself familiar with it.”
Dante nodded and went to the bookshelves.
With all of us sitting at the table, Amara started with a small thin smile “so? How was it?”
My entire body shrunk, I felt my cheeks burn in embarrassment, “it was fantastic.” I slowly admitted.
James however, had a stern look as he stared at Amara, “why are you using a barrier?” he inquired, making Amara’s small smile turn into a tight line, her lips pressed against each other.
I noticed small gusts of air hitting my hair, a wind barrier.
“I don’t want the child to hear the conversation we're going to have,” she Admitted. “Why are you using mana and hitting your kid with a sword James? He is just babe.” Amara growled between gritted teeth.
I looked at her with wide eyes “what?”
James besides me, seemed as puzzled as me, “we play sword fighting often, but I don’t really hit him hard,” he brought a confused smile on his face “actually, he hits me more then I hit him, that’s why I wanted him to learn magic too”
Amara’s cold demeanor warmed a bit, “I know that the both of you were good people, and I believe you still are, I understand that your child is a prodigy but.” She stopped; lips again pressed against each other. “Today, when he controlled mana, he remembered something, he had such overbearing emotions, I felt as if I was choking.”
My mind tried to process what Amara just said and my heart stopped for a moment, I looked slightly to the side, he returned the map and brought a book to read, sitting closer to us with his back turned.
“Is he alright? What did he remember?” I asked.
“I thought you would know, he didn’t want to tell me” Her expression turned completely cold.
Yet again I tried to digest what Amara was saying.
“What do you mean, ‘I know the both of you were good people’?” James frowned, “do you think we did something to our own child?”
Amara’s cold expression didn’t waver, “I went to war, James, I saw things that shouldn’t be, I was there when the mountain fell. People who had missing limbs, seeing their comrades being torn to shreds only to come back as their enemy, have shown those kinds of emotions. But a five year old? Never. That's without mentioning the fact that he easily controlled mana on his first try."
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Her statement made James falter.
Amara took a small breath “I know that losing a child is hard. That is why I’m asking, and not talking about this with the town guard.” She said slowly.
My eyes started to get warmer, my heart wretched as I looked down away from Amra’s gaze.
James took my hand in his, “you’re wrong, Amara, we'll never do anything bad to him, he’s our son.”
For several moments we sat in silence, I tried to calm myself, then, I remembered what happened two days ago. In the morning, Dante had woken up from a nightmare and he said that it wasn’t that bad.
But it was, something happened, and I was too concerned about going into town. I berated myself for being stupid until the small guest of wind stopped.
“Child, your parent’s want to ask you something.”
Dante looked back at us, his eyes lingered on me, only then did I feel warm lines across my cheeks.
“Mom?” my baby dashed towards me with worry in his eyes, “what happened?”
My mind raced, I thought about what Amara said, about what my baby must have felt. I softly held his cheeks in my hands “Dante.” My voice was hoarse, “I want you to tell mommy what you remembered alright? It’s very important to us.”
My baby looked at all of us, he watched us, quietly observing.
He opened his mouth, trying to say something, only to close it and look at the ground.
“Kiddo?” James beside me rose from his chair and kneeled next to him “you can tell us what's wrong, nothing bad will happen.” he softly said.
Warm tears dripped from my eyes, as I saw My baby look down to the floor.
“I saw the cloth, the one you spoke of two days ago.” He said, leaving the room silent.
My tears stopped, I looked at my small baby, my mouth opened but he cut me before I could speak.
“I know that I’m not your son, I understand that.” He shook, James softly held his shoulder.
“That’s not true, you are our son, nothing will ever change that.” James spoke softly.
“I’ve… been having nightmares.” My baby uttered, every word seemed forced, as if he was choking. “About losing you, like I lost my real parents, that you would leave me, abandon me.” I could see his fists clench.
My arms reached out to him, embracing him tightly, “we are not going anywhere, we will always be there for you.” I sobbed.
For a couple of moments, I kept on holding Dante, I could see Amara fidget uncomfortably, slightly staring at Dante.
Her cold expression was gone, nowhere to be found, she stared at us from the side, her lips still pressed against each other, “I’m sorry” she said, “I was thinking, that what happened five years ago, changed you.”
I shook my head “Maybe, I shouldn’t have wrecked half of your store and almost blow it up” I chuckled, I kept holding Dante in my arms as he hugged me back. “Nothing bad will ever happen to us.” I whispered in his ear.
“I think it's best we return home, Amara, it was a long day.” James said, he looked at Amara sternly.
She flinched and her face turned sour, “I just wanted the child to be safe. I’m sorry.” Amara bowed.
Another moment of silence passed, Dante was now a bit sluggish, as if he was robbed of his energy, James looked into my eyes for a couple of moments, I saw his eyes spark for a moment as his lips rose to a smile.
I looked at his eyes. What are you thinking?
He turned to Amara. “Does that mean that you and Charlotte are even now? I mean, you did treat us very harshly.”
I looked at James with a wide mouth, “what are you saying?” I shrieked.
Amara looked between me and James, her eyes widened, “Don’t be foolish,” I looked down to avoid her gaze, “I could never repay for what I’ve done right now.”
What she said startled me, “what?” James smiled from the side.
“I never blamed you for what happened five years ago, you were in pain, you lost your…” Amara stopped and looked at Dante, “I hope that you could forgive me Charlotte, truly.”
James placed his hand on my back, gently massaging my back,
I kissed my baby on his head and noticed he had fallen asleep, I rose to my feet and hugged Amara, she hugged me back muttering another apology.
My body became lighter, as if a heavy weight was lifted from me.
After we tried our best to deny Amara from giving us the map of the continent and said our goodbyes, we walked through the streets of the town, people traveled up and down the streets. For the first time in the last couple of years I could look up and see their faces, clearly, with my head raised high.
I felt my lips rise up to a smile, “thank you, I don’t think that I had the courage to ever talk to Amara about what happened.” I confessed to James.
He chuckled “I would give you a kiss but,” he looked at Dante on his chest. “I don’t want to wake him up.”
I smiled at James, while walking I couldn’t help but think about Amara, about how we parted.
“You know, Amara always wanted to talk with you after what happened, she always asked about your well being.”
“What?” I hadn’t known that James talked with Amara ever since I wrecked her place.
“After what happened, I seldom used to go to Amara for some advice, I always thought that it would make you feel worse.” He replied simply with a shrug, “that is also why I advised you to go to the town, I knew that you wanted to go and see her too, but.” James paused and looked at me with gentle eyes, “you were always hesitant about it.”
I took his words in and remained silent for a moment, “I couldn’t have done it without you,” I gave him an awkward kiss, as I tried not to wake Dante, “both you and our baby.”
“Don’t blame yourself for what happened to him either, he would have found it one way or another.” James continued looking at Dante, and I nodded in return.
I’ll just have to keep him safe, I’ll not let anything harm my baby. I thought to myself as we made our way home.
Tomorrow will be a new day.