Curiosity should have definitely checked out Tiny's market first.

Stalls were set up everywhere, selling everything under the sun. Clothes that change colour, flying boots, back scratchers, talking swords, a bow that told you the time when shooting and if his eyes were not deceiving him, a gun that shot spectral kittens at people.

"What do exactly spectral kittens do?" Curiosity asked the octopus man behind a small plastic stand.

"They scratch your eyes out," came the bubbly response. "What do you think a cat fired at high velocity would do?"

"Right, right," Curiosity nodded sagely. "Makes sense."

And the smell of the place, well, Curiosity could barely stop his saliva from escaping his mouth. There was every kind of food imaginable here. Sizzling sausages on a stick, red stakes cut into small pieces served with garlic sauce, deep-fried cheese and vegetables, laser roasted chicken and other animals curiosity was not familiar with, and all of this was mixed with the pleasant aroma of alcohol permeating the air. He barely stopped himself from attacking a stall that sold some kind of breaded seafood. Gear first.

Thankfully, his search did not last long. At the end of the lane, he found an open tent that sold combat-oriented equipment. Neatly arranged on plastic boxes were shirts, boots, belts, pants, winter equipment, goggles, anything really that you need for any situation.

After a bit of searching, Curiosity found some black combat boots, cargo pants, a plain red shirt and a military vest with many pockets. He put the bundle of clothes in front of the clerk. It was from Mark. The assistant's hair was green now, and he was staring vacantly into space.

"Mark!" Curiosity greeted loudly. "How are you here? I thought organics don't come back to life after their guts are scattered on the floor."

"Curiosity?" Mark blinked a few times. "What are you doing here?"

"I'm shopping. What does it look like? What are you doing here? How are you doing here?"

"Well," Mark scratched his nose. "It's a long story, are you sure you wanna hear it? Don't you wanna buy those clothes? Do you even have the money for it?"

"I don't think so." He rummaged in his pocket for a bit. "Nope, nothing."

"How do you expect to pay?" Mark arched an eyebrow. "You know things cost money you know; you can't just take an item you like."

"Don't change the subject!" Curiosity snapped back to reality. "Tell me, how are you alive?"

"Are you sure you wanna know?"

"Yes!"

"Sure? It's an uncomfortable and very personal thing, just thinking about it wants me to pop a pill." Mark rummaged in his pockets for a bitten and pulled out a white pill with an A stamped on it.

"Yes!"

"See?" Mark swallowed the pill in one gulp. "Look what you made me do. I don't even know what this is, I stole it from Darius' cabinet."

"Tell me!"

"Fine, fine," Mark sighed. "If you want to know, I'm not really Mark. At least not the Mark you know."

"What?" Curiosity had his full attention.

"I'm a clone. Nr 231. I think."

"What? How?"

"Darius's experiments are usually quite dangerous, and his summoning rituals usually require a human sacrifice. Three years ago, Zed and Darius's wife wanted to shut down his experiments, seeing as most of his assistants came out with missing limbs or strange robotic parts. If they came out at all. So I struck a deal with him."

Mark popped another pill in his mouth, took a deep breath, and continued.

"I became his full time and only assistant, and whenever an experiment resulted in death or mutilation, Darius would gather my DNA and clone me."

"Ooh." Curiosity was in awe.

"So here I am, Mark number 231, the immortal assistant," Mark sighed dramatically. "Though I was not expecting the constant existential dread. You know I can remember each death in excruciating details, and well… I don't even want to think about the slow and painful ones, like the time the professor infected me with an alien parasite that clawed its way out through my stomach…"

Mark pulled out another pill, looked at it intensely, and put it back into his pocket. He then shook his shoulders, slapped his cheek a few times, and looked back up at the awestruck Curiosity.

"So?" the assistant said. "Are you gonna pay for these items?"

"What?" Curiosity blinked a few times. "Pay? You mean money?"

"Yes. Do you even know what money is? You can't buy this stuff without money, and before you ask, I won't put it on Darius, Tiny or Zed's tab. Everyone pays for their own stuff over here."

"I know!" Curiosity beamed. "You are going to pay for them!"

"What?" Mark was affronted. "Look, I could help you with a few credits, but this gear you picked up its top quality, made from the nanofiber and enchanted to stop a bullet or two. It's twelve thousand credits, a year's wages for goodness sake."

"Just shut up and give me your arm!"

"What?"

"Shut up and give me your arm mate!" Mark extended his arm. "The other arm!" Curiosity grabbed the proffered limb with both hands.

"I'm Curious," he said.

A heavy weight settled on everybody around them, bringing unsuspecting shoppers to their knees. As fast as it came, it went away. Mark clambered to his feet, blinking in confusion.

"Alright," Curiosity said, grinning triumphantly. "Check how much money you have."

"What?"

"Shut up and do it!"

Mark, eyes wide, hovered his arm above the cashier's terminal. It gave a ping and then displayed an infinity sign. Mark did it again. The singing did not change.

"Do you like it?" Curiosity's grin almost split his face in half. "You never need to worry about money ever again."

"How?" Mark scanned his arm again just to be sure.

"Twisted reality a bit." He waved noncommittally. "Not a big deal. Now, pay!"

Mark, still in a daze, did as he was told. He was not sure if he should celebrate or panic. Twisting reality does not seem like a healthy thing to do, but infinite money is infinite money. It's probably better to roll with it lest the madman takes it away.

"Now," Curiosity began undressing. "Give me a second to put these clothes on, and help me find a weapon."

"Mate!" Mark closed his eyes. "You should not do that, people are watching."

Each and every customer, including people from the adjacent stalls, stopped from what they were doing and began starring in mute fascination. There was not an ounce of shame in Curiosity. Each piece of his attire was thrown in the ground unceremoniously, including his boxers, and then one by one, the newly bought equipment was put on.

The crowd increased by the second. Mark needed to stop Curiosity mid dressing and bring him a pair of extra-durable any sweat boxers because no, you can't go commando in combat pants, that's just stupid and reckless. After 5 minutes of fumbling about, Curiosity was ready.

"Right!" The idea of curiosity itself said, radiating happiness. "Let's find a weapon!"

Just then the crowd parted amongst yelps and protests, and an irate demoness lumbered forward.

"Curiosity!" Hidara snapped. "You can't just undress in the middle of the street!"

"Why?" Curiosity lifted an eyebrow. "This is a stall, no? I thought you needed pavement for a street."

"It's not the point! You can't just undress randomly, it's indecent!"

"I didn't feel indecent."

"Fine!" Hidara let out a breath. "Fine, different dimensions, different customs." She took a few seconds to crack her knuckles. "Now could you tell me please why you disappeared and left me alone when it was my job to take care of you?"

"You were boring."

"What!" Hidara said, flabbergasted. "Me? Boring?"

She sauntered over to Curiosity, hips swaying in such a manner that every living being within ten-foot radius stopped to stare.

"Yes," Curiosity replied simply. "Your description of the surroundings did not capture my interest at all. I think the correct term is a bad storyteller."

If there was ever a textbook on seduction, Hidara just executed the perfect wrapping around a man and pulling him close manoeuvre. It was so expertly done, Mark, and everyone who saw, who saw it began turning a bright red. Except for the two octopus people. They just deflated like a balloon.

Curiosity, on the other hand, except a bit flushed did not look worse for wear. Instead, he was staring puzzled at his reddening skin.

"Soo," Hidara pureed slowly. "Am I boring now?"

"Why is my skin turning red?" Curiosity said, not paying her any attention. "And why is my blood pooling in my reproductive organ?"

Everyone, Hidara included, gave him an incredulous look. In an instant, like being struck with a hammer, a realisation hit him.

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"Ahh," Curiosity said. "I am getting aroused!" He turned a beaming smile toward Hidara. "Does that mean we are going to have sex?"

"Not that fast tiger," Hidara said, recovering quickly, they were in familiar territory now. "First you gotta take me on a date."

"A date?"

"Yes, somewhere nice, a restaurant, the beach, on maybe even Tiny's left shoulder. I heard the view from there is fantastic."

"Maybe later," Curiosity said. "Right now, I want to buy a weapon."

"A weapon, you say." Hidara skilled in his shoulder. "Come with me, I know just the shop."

The citizens of Tiny, most of them the kind of people who decided to live on a massive homicidal robot out of their own free will, could smell a disaster at least 2 hours before it's happening.

The crowd parted like Moses parted the sea, and just as fast closed behind them. They began following at a respectable distance. Stalls closed down, and customers were ushered away. Some decided to stay. It's not every day you get free entertainment, not of this calibre at least.

Circling Tiny's seated form; they arrived at his left buttock. Hidara stopped in front of a patch of metal shaped like a door. Moss, grime and the faint trace of rust-covered it. The demoness knocked twice.

"Really?" Mark said. "Really? Here?"

"What?" Hidara said. "It's a perfectly acceptable shop. Mike does excellent work."

"If you consider stuff that not even Darius would touch with a 6-foot pole excellent, then sure."

Hidara banged the metal door a few times. A panel moved on its side, radiating a blue glow that swept over the group slowly, scanning them head to toe. After a few seconds, it disappeared, and the door opened without much protest.

"Hi, Mike," Hidara greeted, stepping inside. "We came to visit."

The room inside was well lit, spacious, with shelves occupying each part of the circular room. Swords, guns, knives, rocket launchers, robotic arms, with the occasional strange and esoteric instruments were occupying each available space. Each one was carefully glued to its place with duct tape, and in the case of the weapons with a bit more personality than strictly necessary, tied down and muzzled.

Smack dab in the middle of the room a long table took up the rest of the space. Screwdrivers, cutters, precision laser cutters and other tools of unknown function were scattered along its length. A white glove on a stick occupied the middle of the table.

"What do you want?" Mike growled. "Can't you see I'm busy?"

Mike was a yeti. A big yeti. His fur was singed beyond recognition, thick goggles perched on the top of his head. In one head he was holding a screwdriver and the other a bar of chocolate.

"What are you working on?" Hidara said.

"It's the slap-o Matic 3000," Mike said. "It has improved a lot since my last model."

"Hopefully this one will not blow up in your face."

"It won't. Hopefully. What do you want?"

"I need a weapon for him," Hidara said, grabbing Curiosity by the shoulders and presenting him as a trophy.

"Hi," Curiosity beamed. "I'm Curiosity."

Mike stood up and began circling Curiosity slowly. The Yeti sniffed the air a few times and growled something unintelligible under his breath.

"Can't sense any life force," Mike said. "Are you a zombie or something?"

"I'm perfectly alive; thank you very much," Curiosity said. "I'm technically from a different reality."

"Right," Mike grabbed Curiosity's arms. "What about melee weapons? Do you know how to use them?"

"Nope."

"Guns?"

"Nope."

"Can you at least use magical items?"

"Not really," Mark added helpfully. "He has a translation amulet on, and it does nothing."

"I see," Mike put his hairy hand down Curiosity shirt, and with a quick application of nails, snapped the amulet cord.

"Hey!" Curiosity protested. "Why did you do that?!"

"You don't need it."

"It was the first thing I ever got since I started existing!"

"So?"

"So?" Curiosity's eyebrows began twitching. "It has sentimental value," So this is how anger feels like.

"Bah," The Yeti chucked the talisman behind him. "Sentiments are for pussies."

He shuffled over to one of the shelves, and after a bit of rummaging, he bought back a weapon.

"Try this," Mike said. "I made it yesterday," It was two hammers chained together at the base.

Curiosity twirled them around for a bit. After hitting himself in the face, twice, he politely gave the weapon back.

"What about him?" Mike said, a new weapon already in his hands. "it's the Gun-inator 2000."

"What does it do?" Curiosity almost dropped the weapon; it was so heavy.

"It fires guns."

Curiosity took one hard look at the massive cannon shaped weapon and then politely gave it back.

"What about that?" Curiosity pointed towards the Slap-o-Matic 3000.

"This bad boy?" Mike picked it up. "I was high when I designed this," he put the weapon reverentially in the young man's hands.

The slap-o-Matic 3000 was a long metal rod, with a white glove on top of it. It's capable of delivering more than 3000 slaps / second to a person. Sadly, the kinetic gem in its powerbase absorbs the damage, so the enemy's face does not become a pancake.

Its real power comes from the humiliation at being slapped around at high velocity and not being able to do anything about it. Curiosity twisted the small knob at the handle. The hand started shaking left and right.

"The more you turn, the faster it goes," explained the Yeti.

Curiosity turned the dial to maximum. Instantly it flew out of his hands flying towards Mike with loud clanking noises. The Yeti, who was prepared for this kind of eventuality, snatches it out of the air without much trouble.

"I don't think you have the power necessary to control it," Mike said, putting it on the table.

"What about the shovel thingy?" Hidara said.

"It's not a shovel thingie, it's THE shovel," Mike said, affronted. "My greatest creation."

"You made it on drugs!"

"So? They were good drugs. Made my fur stand on edge."

"I know, right?" Mark added sagely. "I made that batch myself."

"That explains a lot."

The Yeti fished out the weapon from under the table. Slowly, reverently, he put it in Curiosity's hands.

"What do I do with this?" The young man lifted the gardening item.

The handle was made from metal, with an anti-slip grip. At the top of the handle, a small and smooth gem was located. It was black, glinting softly when turned.

"You dig," Mike said.

"Sure," Curiosity said.

He put the shovel to the floor and put his feet on the metal bit.

"Not inside you dipshit!" Mike yelled. "Outside! Tiny will kill us if we damage him!"

Once outside the group spread out in a semicircle, with Curiosity slightly further away. The whole market was there, watching. Some people arranged a few chairs around the buttocks, and some food stalls were being set up. You never miss good entertainment.

"Can I dig now?" Curiosity said, pressing the shovel to the ground.

"Yes," Mike nodded.

Curiosity put his feet on the shovel and began digging. It was like cutting butter with a hot knife. He never actually cut butter with a hot knife, but it was an expression that Steve knew, so he knew it too. Hmmm, how smooth as cutting butter with a hot knife really is? Now he was curious. And where did all the dirt disappear to?

With every hole he made, the dirt disappeared with a small plop noise. Looking closer, he saw that the soil was being absorbed by the gem, almost instantly. A hot knife was probably not as smooth as this shovel. He already had a decent-sized hole in less than a few seconds.

"Now stop!" Mike shouted. "See the red button on the side at the top of the handle?"

"Yep."

"Press it."

The head of the shovel bent and slid back on the handle, placing the gem at the tip.

"See the green button that just appeared on the opposite side of the red one?" Mike continued. "Press it while twisting the handle gently."

Curiosity did. A small amount of dirt trickled out from the gem. He turned more. The soil came faster. He twisted the handle to its limit. The following jet of mud was so intense it blasted Curiosity backwards, in a course collision with the sitting crowd.

The peanut gallery was prepared. An octopus man jumped from its perch atop a Rockman back and wrapped its tentacles around Curiosity. Two rockmen were on their feet, arms open. The falling octopus was caught with the sound of flesh hitting stone and lowered gently to the floor.

"I told you gently!" Mike shouted. "Tiny's gonna kill us!"

He sprinted towards the opposite way, towards Hidara. The jet of mud and dirt was so fast it punched a hole straight through her stomach.

"WHOO HOO" Curiosity shouted, untangling himself from the tentacles. "Let's do it again. And thanks for the save guys."

"No problem" A Rockman grunted and patted him on the back. Curiosity's spine almost broke in half.

On the other side, Hidara was doing alright. The hole in her stomach was already closing. Sadly, for the next two weeks, pieces of rocks and dirt will be bouncing around in her stomach, putting her in excruciating pain and agony.

"That's some serious firepower, Mike!" Hidara glowered. "I almost got killed!"

"But you didn't," Mie said.

"But I could have."

"But you didn't."

"It hurts!"

"Hey!" Curiosity interrupted, coming closer. "I like this shovel. How much?"

"Thirty-three. Million. Credits," Mike said.

"WHAT!" Hidara shouted. "Are you serious?!"

"Hey! This is THE shovel we are talking about. My best work."

"Thirty-three million??" Hidara stumbled forwards. "That shovel almost killed me! I demand a discount!"

"No way!" Mike growled. "You healed didn't you?"

"That's not the point!" she sneered. "I demand some compensation!"

"Sure," Curiosity interrupted quickly. "I can pay."

"What?" Mike's jaw dropped. "I mean, yes, sure, thank you."

The crowd went Oooh and Ahhh.

"Mark! Come here!" Curiosity snapped.

Mark, who wisely threw himself to the ground the first chance he got, clambered to his feet and trundled forwards.

"Honey," Hidara's voice softened. "That price is outrageous, you can't be serious."

"Don't worry." Curiosity waved her concerns off. "I have my wallet here with me." He went over to Mark and grabbed him by the shoulder.

"Marks have money?" Hidara raised an eyebrow. "Since when?"

"I have all the money," Mark said smugly.

"What?"

"So where do I pay?" Curiosity asked.

"Here." Mike raised a hand, showing a sleek bracelet wrapped around his wrist. "Transfer the fund directly to me."

Curiosity put Mark's arm on the Yeti's bracelet. The device beeped, once, twice, then thrice.

"I'll be damned," Mike whistled. "You actually had the money!"

Hidara's jaw dropped. The crowd went Ooh and Ahh again.

"How much money do you have?" Hidara asked.

"Infinite," Curiosity said, beaming. "And yes, I can give you infinite money too." He extended his palm. "Give me your arm."

The girl just stared at him in confusion, but Mike was not one to waste an opportunity. He pushed Hidara out of the way and slammed an arm in Curiosity's hand.

"I'm curious," said Curiosity. The gravity increased for a second, then dissipated. "Alright, who's next?"

"IT WORKS!" Mike screamed, looking at his bracelet in disbelief. "I HAVE INFINITE MONEY!"

The crowd began bustling with nervous energy.

"You?" Curiosity gestured towards a wide-eyed Hidara. "Don't you want infinite money?"

"Of course, I do." Her tail swished wildly. "I just don't have a credit chip implanted in me."

"Oh?"

"My body's temperature is too high for the Nanomachines to survive in me for long." She stepped closer. "But I have a wallet."

"Where?"

Hidara executed another textbox wrap around the arms, this time on Curiosity's other side.

"In my room," she whispered in his ear. "Wanna come and help me find it?"

"Sure." The reply was instant.

"Excuse me." A deep voice tapped Curiosity by the shoulder. "What about us?"

"Huh?" Curiosity turned around.

An orderly queue has formed behind him, with the who Rockmen and the octopus at the forefront. All of them were grinning maniacally and were holding out arms, bracelets, collars, wallets and other assorted accoutrements.

"We would like infinite money too," the Rockman said, presenting his shiny teeth.

"Aaah." Curiosity looked at Hidara. "Sure?"

"Let's get over with," Hidara sighed. "They will never leave us alone if we run."

"Listen to the smart missus." The Rockman jingled the teeth in a massive arm. "Infinite money, please?"

"Right, of course."

That's how the next two hours went, Curiosity grabbing each being's arm, tentacle, or accessory, muttering the magic words, and moving on to the next. Some of the lucky elves and pixies who stayed behind got in line as well, their fortunes and happiness changed forever.

Curiosity, on the other hand, was getting exhausted. At first, he was excited at the prospect of meeting so many new people at once, but after ten minutes of handshakes and thank thanks, everything just started blurring together.

He didn't even have a chance to talk to them. And there was one guy with six arms and an afro. An afro!

"Master?"

Curiosity's eyes focused blearily.

"Silvia?" Yes, it was the crazy woman who swore fealty to him. "What are you doing here?" She looked exactly the same... "Why are you wearing the exact same robe?"

"It's not the same Master, this one's orange."

For the first time in his admittedly short life, Curiosity was speechless.

"Amm," he tried, then gave up. "Why are you here?"

"Where you go, we follow Master," loud cheering could be heard from the queen. "Besides, I heard your graciousness is offering infinite money to anyone, the rest of your cults want it as well."

"Master?" Hidara said, popping in from the side with a bottle of water in her hand. "You already got a mistress? And here I thought you are a clueless babe."

"I'm no mistress!" Silvia snapped, then quickly flashed Curiosity a grey smile. "Unless the master wishes to?"

"Uum…" Curiosity was not sure how to answer that.

Thankfully he didn't need to, a gust of wind swept through the gathered crowd almost blowing him away, if not for Hidara's firm grip on his arm. Tiny's massive form was shifting.

"ATTENTION CITIZENS," The giant bellowed, so loudly it reverberated in the bones. "WE ARE MOVING OUT IN TWO HOURS!"

Dejected murmuring broke out from the crowd, at least from the people who were not clutching their ears in pain. Curiosity wanted to ask why, but the world was ringing.

"As for the reason why," Tiny continued in a lower tone of voice, "Lucy needs our help!"

Cries of what, really, and how come broke out between the citizens. Even Hidara stopped checking up on Curiosity's health to share a look with Mark.

"Exactly my reaction!" Tiny continued. "After I programmed it, of course. That sorry excuse for an algorithm finally recognised my, ahem, our greatness and probably wants advice on how to be a model A.I."

The citizens froze in place. Tiny let out a dejected sigh that shook the ground.

"ENOUGH CHIT CHAT!" the giant suddenly bellowed. "GET TO PACKING! SCRAM!"

Nobody needed to be told twice.