Sitting on a bench a few streets away from the museum, Curiosity was holding the book of arcanum in his hands, watching the busy streets. Sleek grey cars were stopping randomly on the street, pedestrians running into them from the sidewalks.

He was expecting chaos or cars hitting each other, but it never happened. Each stop was made with precision, with plenty of space for the pedestrians to enter. The citizens as well, ran with practised ease, not panicking nor making a fuss.

"What do you think is happening Cherry?"

"Huh?" Cherry said, from her usual seat. "Let me check."

The diminutive bodyguard finished cleaning her most recent weapon, gave it a kiss, and tucked it into her many pockets. Surveying the rapidly emptying street, she pulled out a lollipop and began licking.

"Looks like an evacuation to me," Cherry said. "Probably because of us."

"Probably," Curiosity said, glancing at the book. "But we got the time, and with this book," A strangle smile took root on Curiosity's face that made the remaining citizens run around the corner. "Revolutionise how the universe functions."

"Really? How?"

"I know who wrote it, well I knew his thoughts. The person, or being who wrote it, was curious, very, very, curios. I don't know anything about the person besides his curious thought, but it's the reason I knew to take my first chance to interact with the word."

"Oh, right, your body is a possessed one."

"Possessed is a strong word," Curiosity winced, fishing for a cigarette. "I would say take advantage of this, this biological being does not have what traditionally is thought of as a soul, it only has data. I did copy over the memories though!"

"What do you mean no soul?" Cherry said. "You mean no magic? Cause I can't sense any form of mana in you."

"Magic, mana, soul, spiritual energy, whatever you wanna call it, these species don't have it. They are purely biological, a combination of memories and DNA. They are actually a very efficient system untainted by any type of supernatural and universal energies." He let out a small puff of smoke. "Easy to take over, blank states, no mystical protection. Though some habits of this body are tough to break."

"How did you do it?" Cherry sat a little straighter. "A place like that would be heaven for some of the supernatural folk I know, it should have been heavily protected.

"It was. The very laws of reality protected it, and it's probably still after me." Curiosity looked at the book. "It's this book, the first attempt since creation to find a way to change our fate, to change the laws of the universe. Wanna know?"

"Yes boss yes!" Cherry saluted. "I will swear upon my height that I won't abuse that kind of knowledge too much."

"Good," Curiosity smiled. "It's actually a quite simple three-step process. I can only recall two of them, sadly, this vessel cannot host my vast database of ideas. The first one is simple. Find a strong idea, no matter how good or bad, and implant it into someone."

"Makes sense, makes sense."

"Second, it is not enough to tell that idea to someone, you need to find people who believe in it, and are willing to try it out. Does not matter who, what, or from where. It just needs to start, somewhere, in any shape or form, and you need to make sure it constantly spreads to people. The more people believe in it, the higher the chance of something related to it will happen."

"And the third?" Cherry was almost hanging by a hair in front of Curiosity's forehead.

"Let's find out." Not waiting a moment longer, Curiosity opened the book.

Cherry waited with barely contained anticipation for her boss to read it, this kind of information can change how words work! And maybe, just maybe, she will find a way to escape that horribly dull place. She does not want to go back, especially not now, after experiencing freedom for the first time in who knows how many centuries.

Still, something was not right. Time was passing normally, but her boss was not saying anything. In fact, Curiosity's face was getting more desperate by the seconds, his muscles tensing and his hand paging through a book like a man possessed. Finally, after what felt like ages, Curiosity leaned back and let out a deep breath, facial muscles relaxing.

"It's fake," Curiosity said. "I don't know how to react to this."

With a flick of his wrist, he threw the book close to Cherry. The bodyguard ambled over, and using her foot, she opened the text. The pages were empty, with not even a title inside.

"Shit," Cherry said. "There is not even a cryptic drawing or message or anything of the sorts. In my experience, there needs to be something like that or at least a calling card of something."

"There is nothing of the sorts," Curiosity said. "Trust me I checked, it's just a book with empty pages."

"The museum probably has the original in some secure location or a vault,"

"Yep."

"So Mr Edwards died for nothing."

"Yep."

"I liked that guy!"

"Me too Cherry, me too."

"I don't understand something," Cherry fished for a lollipop. "Didn't we send Silvia to buy the tome from the museum staff?"

"Yep."

"So why didn't the damn elf contact us and tell us it's fake or something. Surely the museum staff told her when she asked."

"That is a good point."

"She was too busy gouging her eyes out." A voice said behind them.

Curiosity jumped and turned around. Standing behind them was Zed, a thin layer of sweat shining on his skin, his green robe open and messy. Silvia was held in his hands by her robes, the way a mother cat would hold her kitten.

"Master!" Silvia rasped. "We found you!"

"Ugh," Cherry said, taking a step back. "What did you do to the lanky woman, you look disgusting!"

That was an understatement. The two coins Silvia rammed into her skull were still there, embedded deeply into the eye sockets, blood and mucus surrounding the destroyed organ. That wasn't even the weirdest thing, that award went to the massive third eye in the middle of her forehead. It was white, like an egg yolk, with two black pupils swirling around each other.

"Your insults mean nothing to me," Silvia said. "This magnificent look is thanks to Master’s magnificence!"

"What?" Cherry said. "Boss, you did this?"

"No?" Curiosity said questioningly. "At least I don't think so."

As if on cue, more cultist members stepped out from around the buildings and alleyways. Normally, you would not be able to tell the cultist from regular people, seeing as they did not have uniforms or any recognisable badge; however, it was impossible to mistake these beings for anything else.

Aidan West slithered, yes slithered forward, smiling broadly. The bottom half of the half-elf was gone, replaced with what looked like a motorised snake bottom. The scales were made of brass that shone in the afternoon soon, and a click-click sound could be heard as he slithered forward.

The cultist with the cowboy hat was next, looking exactly as he did before, except his hat had eyes and a mouth, and was chattering incessantly about correct hat hygiene. A man with a tuba for a head, yes, an actual tuba just extended from his neck, unperturbed by silly things like gravity and common sense, popped from the corner, dressed in nothing but a loincloth.

One by one, a dozen or so cultists appeared, most of them in long black or orange robes, and in one strange case, a man with a red nose topped off with spikes.

"Master," The cultist said in unison. "We are at your service."

Silvia elbowed her way out of Zeds, grip, and along with the rest of the members, kneeled, head almost touching the pavement. The hat complained loudly about the dirt.

"Amm," Curiosity said, pulling out a cigarette. "Thanks?" He quickly lit it. "Why are you here?"

"We need your help," Zed said. "There is an infestation of zombie-like slime monsters in the city's underground tavern complex."

"What?" Curiosity blinked. "There are bars under the city?"

"That's your question?" Cherry said. "What about the zombie slime monsters?

"Habit," Curiosity shrugged.

"You said the Master needs our help!" Silvia said, glaring quite effectively at Zed. "You lied!"

"I didn't," Zed said. "He does need your help. You would send your master alone in a dangerous and possibly deadly situation, would you?"

"We would never!"

"Good. Now chop chop, we don't have much time, follow me."

"Amm," Curiosity said, eyes fixated on Aidan West. "Sure."

"What just a second," Cherry said. "Why should we help you? I have no idea what this help is, and if I don't know, Curiosity does not know either."

"Do you want to get stomped into dust by Tiny?" Zed asked.

"No."

The narrative has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the infringement.

"Then come, we are wasting time."

Five minutes later, Zed, Curiosity, Cherry, Silvia, Aidan West, and a dozen or so cultists were crammed inside an empty building. Posters with the underground bar complex littered about, advertising every conceivable tavern people could come up with, from small, tree-shaped ones catering to pixies, to ones made purely out of metal and serving lava, and even ones shaped like shoes.

The only other thing in the building was a terminal in the middle of the room, perched on what looked like a raised platform. Zed stepped on it and gestured to the rest of the party to follow him. It was a tight fit, with some of the cultists perched on Aidan West back, but somehow everyone managed to pile on.

The bald professor pressed a button, and the platform began descending noisily through a softly illuminated corridor. Seeing as Curiosity was preoccupied in picking the brass scales on Aidan West, Cherry decided to take upon herself the important question.

"What is exactly our mission," the pint-sized bodyguard asked. "And how come the freakshow became even freakier?"

"We are not a freakshow," Aidan West said, tone slightly metallic. "We are the chosen ones, blessed by Curiosity itself, given gifts beyond what mortal, nay, even gods can comprehend. We are instruments of his will given flesh, for the sole reason to spread his teachings to the masses."

"Teachings? Since when did Curiosity teach anything useful except making a mockery of everything sane and normal."

"I think they gained my ability," Curiosity interrupted. "I can feel my energy coursing to their body, destroying the fundamental laws of the universe and making things that are impossible, possible."

"We have been blessed by our master," Silvia added. "His will, his energy courses through our bodies, letting us push beyond what is normally possible."

"Great," Cherry said. "The ability to make a mockery out of the rules of physics and they use it to give themself a damn tuba for a head!"

The cultists with the said instrument for a head let out a dejected trumped sound.

"The mission parameters are simple," Zed said, wrestling control of the conversation. "You stay back, and don’t do anything stupid while I try to reason with these creatures, and if, and only if, things go sour and I give the signal, you step in."

"Search and destroy," Cherry nodded. "Got it."

"It's not a search and destroy, it's a search and find out what these creatures want and resolve it peacefully."

"Tell me about the layout of this place, it's called the underground bar complex, right? What does it look like, where are the exits, hiding places, etcetera? You look like a man who knows the drill, so spill."

Zed gave Cherry a sour look for talking to him like that but obliged anyway.

"The underground bar complex is a wondrous thing," a small smile appeared on his scarred face. "Built by the citizens of Lucy, it's a massive underground bunker, where everybody, regardless of race, status, and wealth, can build a place to chill out and have a drink."

"Did you say a drink?" Curiosity said, instantly forgetting Aidan West and his brass scales. "What kind of drinks?"

"Every kind imaginable, elven vine, human rum, Rockman beer, which is boiling lava, by the way, all the way to the bug cocktails lizardman drinks."

"Oooh." Curiosity's eyes were sparkling now. "Is there food as well?"

"Yes, though most of it is poisonous to humans."

"Hey, hey," Cherry said, waving a lollipop threateningly. "You still haven't told me about the exits and layout of this place. You're really bad at debriefing Mr diplomat and butcher of millions."

"There are no exits." A vein began pulsating on Zed's forehead, his scars turning red. "Only these elevators that go up and down to the first platform, where flying disks are located, let you travel to the other part of the complex."

"See, that wasn't so hard, was it?"

"As for the layout," Zed said, taking a deep breath, "see for yourself, we are exiting the tunnel now."

As by magic, the platform exited from the illuminated corridor, giving Curiosity and his cult the first glimpse of Lucy's main tourist attraction, the first thing that popped in everyone's mind is that Zed is very bad at describing things. Calling it massive was an understatement.

It was the size of the city itself, maybe bigger and the corners of the place could barely be seen, even by the cultists with a telescope for an eye. Millions of various buildings were scattered about, some floating by their own power, some suspended between the thick metal poles that criss crossed all over the place, and others piled on massive platforms that hovered gently in the air.

On busy days, the place looked absolutely stunning, with people zipping about, bunched up on gently floating disk drinking and laughing, and generally having a good time. Even the few drinks that fell out of the moving pubs were quickly caught by the rest of the patrons, and in worse case scenarios, automated padded disks were flying about for just that reason. Lucy made sure her citizens were well cared for.

Now, however, it looked like something out of a disaster movie. Half the buildings were set on fire or in the process of exploding. The rest were equally divided between being covered with green goo and flying about animals, smashing into each other, and you guessed it, making even more fire.

The platform the small group was supposed to land one was gone, along with every other landing platform along the top of the complex as well. Most of them were destroyed or hanging sideways by the cables that were supposed to keep them in place and horizontal.

"Wow," Cherry whistled. "Someone really did a number on this one."

"Multiple someones," Zed said. "That's why I gathered you here. Now let's see if we can find why they did this and if we can do something about it."

Before pressing the terminal to take them to the bottom, Zed took one more moment to stare into the mayhem unfolding. He had a look on his face that only people who realised that someone made a mockery of their favourite place, then spit on it, pissed on it, and kicked it as well for good measure. Letting out a deep sigh, he pressed a button, and the thick disk began descending.

"We are going to the bottom," Zed said. "Hopefully, we can find some answers."

They made their way towards the bottom slowly, avoiding flying pubs and the occasional flying debris. Thankfully, it didn't seem that anybody was targeting them, so they had an easy time descending.

Around halfway through, they realised things were quieter, and the numbers of fires were decreasing as well. That was probably because most of the pubs have already been burned down or reduced to splinters, and the ones that weren't, were coated with a thin layer of green mucus.

The deeper they went, the more of these green blobs could be seen sticking on buildings. Some of them, however, were rolling about their own power, jumping from building to building like some kind demented green go. Some of them were gathered together on a platform, just standing there, and if Zed's ears were still working properly, talking.

"I hear talking," Cherry said. "Over there, by that funny looking building."

"It looked like a bucket," Curiosity added.

"That's because it is," Zed said. "That was one of Darius' favourite hanging spots."

"What I don't understand," Cherry continued. "What are those blobs doing?" She fished in her skirt for a foldable telescope, and with a flourish, she put the nail sized device to her eyes. "It looks like they are playing poker." She put down the telescope and gave Curiosity a glance. "Boss, I don't know how, but I’m sure whatever is happening now it's your fault."

"Hey, you can't blame me for everything!" Curiosity protested.

"I agree with your bodyguard on this one," Zed said.

"Come on, not you too," Curiosity turned towards his cult members. "What about you guys, do you think this is my fault?"

Silence.

"Really? Silence?" Curiosity looked directly into Aidan West's eyes. "What about you, do you think it's my fault?"

"I can't say the thought didn't cross my mind, Master," Aidan West said carefully.

"Not you too," Curiosity threw his hands up in frustration, then turned towards his last hope. "What about you, Silvia? Do you think your wise and handsome master is responsible for what is happening here?"

"Yes," said Silvia. "I can see the Master's energy permeating the place."

"E Tu Brutus?" Curiosity said, falling to his knees. "You didn't even flinch." He began weeping crocodile tears.

"You can see Curiosity's energy with that freaky eye of yours?" Cherry asked.

"I can see everything," Silvia replied. "I can even see sounds."

Boom! Everyone turned towards the sound. Zed was holding his fist in his palm and smiling dangerously.

"Enough with the chit chat," Zed said. "It's time to focus, we are almost at the bottom."

True to his word only a mile or so separated them from the bottom. This part of the complex was in the most disarray. It was like a big room full of lego buildings, that had green gasoline poured on it and then set on fire.

A few dozen blobs could be seen converging towards their approximate locations. They appeared from everywhere and nowhere at once, squeezing out from the rubble, half-burned buildings, corners, dumpsters, and in one mud-coloured ooze's case, the toilet.

"Remember," Zed said. "We are here to find out what is going on and why are they doing this. Let me do the talking and stay put, we only resort to violence as a last resort."

"Ahem," Cherry nodded noncommittally. "I wonder what will work against these things. Grenades? I have some self-immolation grenades that worked fine against those giant pink jellyfish."

"Giant pink jellyfish?" Curiosity asked.

There was no time to tell that particular harrowing tale because the flying disk landed with a soft thud. The blobs stopped about twenty feet away, swaying side to side like gelatine. One of them, big, shaped like a cannonball with arms and legs stepped forwards, a small indistinct head forming on its stop.

Good, Zed thought, these beings are intelligent enough to talk. He stepped down the platform, hope filling his heart. The mere fact that they surrounded them instead of attacking, and sent one representative, means that negotiations were on the table.

He straightened his back, took a deep breath, and put one smile that destroyed not only nations but millions of hearts as well.

"Greetings." Zed bowed deeply. "My name is Zed Nez, envoy of Tiny, the wandering robot. We are here to inquire about what happened here, your reasons for occupying this place, and to see if we can come to some sort of agreement regarding the future of this place, and your race. May I ask what the name of your species is?"

Two sets of eyebrows formed on the round ooze, staring silently at Zed for what felt like centuries. Then slowly, the eyeballs rolled to the other side of his head, surveying the rest of the green monsters. Most of them didn't move, while others shimmered and bubbled like some kind of poorly made soup.

Finally, the eyes rolled back, surveying Curiosity and his cultists one by one, going back to Zed. What happened next was so fast, only years of experience saved Zed from becoming a pancake via homicidal gelatine.

A small cloud of dust rose from the impact of the round slime hitting the ground at full force, and before it could reform, Zed was in front of him, light up like a Christmas tree, leg raised. The following kick was so powerful, and so fast, it slightly heated the air, cutting through the gelatine-like a hot knife through butter.

Zed was not done, however, if there is one thing that pissed him off more than people who want him and his people harm, is beings who have no concept of diplomacy and don't even try. Blurring to the ooze's other side, leg raised, he vaporised another part of the monster. Then another, and another, and another, until finally, the only thing left was two milky eyeballs that were quickly crushed under Zed's sandaled foot.

"Shame," Zed said, blurring into view. "Diplomacy was always an option."

"FREE FOR ALL!" Curiosity screamed. "Come on, boys, let's show them what we are made of!"

The cultists cheered. The one with the trumpet for a head let out a long war cry that reverberated through the rubble.

"Wait," Zed lifted his hands. "I haven't given the signal yet!"

It was too late. All hell broke loose.

Aidan West exploded forwards like a coiled spring, the cultists with the talking hat riding on his scaly behind, screaming obscenities and shooting into a group of ooze with a revolver. Three cultists dressed in rugby overalls sans helmet charged the back of the line, the trumpeter close behind them giving them strength. A cultist with a long black cloak obscuring his whole form melted into the ground and reappeared behind the oozes, daggers gleaming in both hands.

Two other cultists threw off their cloaks, revealing a man and a woman with an eagle's head, dressed in full military uniforms, guns, grenades, and even what looked like a flamethrower strapped to the woman's back. Massive grey wings unfurled from their backs, and grabbing the cultists with the red nose, they launched into the air.

Rudolph, if Zed remembered his name currently, was launched towards a cluster of slime monsters towards the back, screaming incoherently. His nose, yes, his actual nose, shot out from his face with the force of a shotgun, exploding in a pink cloud that vaporised everything in a two feet radius and smelling faintly of snot.

Silvia was not to be undone either, the woman began running, yelling a battle cry, and promptly fell on her face a few feet away from Zed. It seems that that massive eye was not good at depth perception.

Curiosity and Cherry, on the other hand, were having the time of their life. The former had his shovel in hand and was pocking two oozes inefficiently, occasionally hitting them and absorbing a bit of their mass into the shovel. The latter was standing in her usual spot in the hair chair, cackling maniacally, and throwing incendiary grenades left and right.

Zed took a deep breath, held it, and let it go slowly, relaxing his shoulders. What had he just unleashed? Explosions could be heard all around them, punctuated by the screams of the cultists as some of them were trampled, crushed, or just plain old dissolved by the corrosive gelatines till not even bones remained.

Oh well, as Darius used to say, if you can't fight them, join them. Walking over to Silvia, she picked the woman up with both hands and tucked her under his arm.

"Do you have any useful abilities?" Zed asked.

"I can shoot a laser out of my eye," Silvia said. "Though my depth perception is terrible."

"I noticed. I will hold you towards the enemy and when I tell you, let loose with the lasers. Okay?"

"Alright."

"Now!"

Yelling a battle cry and holding a laser-shooting woman under an armpit, Zed joined the fray.

Lucy still uses footage of the battle to this day to teach the next generation on how dangerous, and insane the people of Tiny truly are.