Tiny was walking along in a barren landscape; a backpack firmly secured to his spine. His massive steps were making craters in the dry earth, crushing trees and boulders under it. The destination was Lucy, home of one of the strongest and most influential A.I superpowers this side of the continent.

Bet she will be surprised when I show up, Tiny thought. Lucy had no idea he had people living on him, especially not Darius and Zed. Poor Zed, maybe he should not have saddled him with those cultists, but he's the supreme ruler dammit! His citizens should listen to him!

He wondered, crushing a tree underfoot, what would Lucy say to his new personality and information at his disposal. He was especially curious about what she would say about his people, especially the kind of people he accepted as his citizens.

She probably won't approve. Excellent!

Inside Darius' apartment, the professor and Stacy were sitting at the kitchen table, having breakfast.

"Here," Darius said, sliding a tablet over the table.

"What's this?" Stacy said.

"It's the tablet connected to earth internet."

"Finally!" Stacy said, excitement bubbling in her voice. "How exactly does this thing work?"

She could finally see what had happened to her friends and family. She hoped the stupid twins got looked up in jail.

"No idea, ask Tiny."

"Aren't you the scientist around here? Shouldn't you know things like this?"

"I should," Darius nodded. "However, a true scientist admits he does not know something. What's the point of lying and telling you I know, when in reality I don't? It would just create confusion."

"Good point."

The next minute was spent in relative silence, with Stacy trying out her old accounts and Darius cutting his breakfast with a small laser from his claw. Sadly it did not last long.

Like a broken dam, Stacy exploded from her seat, smashing her chair against the wall and chucking the tablet away. Darius however, was unperturbed. Somehow sensing this, with the sense only parents had his claw snapped out, catching, and bringing the tablet in front of him before it smashed into pieces.

"They killed Malbo!" Stacy shouted. "And transformed my house into a tourist attraction! I don't know which is worse!"

Darius glanced down at the tablet. On it was a news article with the headline: Tourist attraction destroyed by green slime! Reality or government conspiracy? A picture was attached, showing a ruined house, a green person next to it, tentacles extending from its torso in every direction.

"Malbo looks alive to me," Darius commented.

"It's not that!" Stacy stomped over and pointed with a finger. "There!"

"The dead bodies in the corner?"

"No, no, there!"

"Is that?" Darius pinched the tablet zooming in. "Is that a robot made out of those boxes you carry cigarettes in?"

"Yes!" Stacy threw her hands. "That's Malbo! They mutilated him. I bet it's somehow Curiosity's fault. There are no green people in my word."

"Was this Malbo alive?"

"What?" Stacy stopped to stare at the professor. "Cigarette boxes taped together? Of course, it was not alive. Are you mad?"

"Stranger things have happened." Darius put the tablet down and gave Stacy his undivided attention. "So if this Malbo thing was not alive, why are you so upset that you threw your breakfast everywhere? I'm not a master chef, but I am told I make a mean omelette."

"It's not that!" Stacy deflated. "It's like, I don't even know, it's like everything I have ever known is just like, ahhh!"

She plopped back down onto her chair and fished for a cigarette. Darius gave her the stink eye but refrained from commenting. The professor sensed that this was a pivotal moment in their relationship, so he just nodded encouragingly and waited for Stacy to gather her thoughts.

"It's like," she began. "It's like everything I ever knew is truly gone, you know. Malbo may have been just a bunch of cigarette boxes taped together, but it was my box of cigarettes. It represented my past, proof that I really existed, and my memories are not just some fabrication."

She took a deep pull out of her cigarette, then continued.

"Now Malbo is gone, along with my old house, killed by that green thing!" She pounded her fist on the table. "I don't know how, but I just know it's that damn Curiosity's fault! What the fuck is even he? Coming along stealing my body, implanting me in an insane person's brain-dead daughter! Like did anybody ask me what I wanted? Who the fuck wants to live in this crazy world with murderous giant robots! Like, I'm not even the fucking protagonist, what's even the point!"

Winding down from her tirade, the woman with a man's memories finally noticed Darius' expression. It was odd, seeing how a metal mask could express so much emotion, but the professor looked tired and old, like someone just slapped him in the face, then tore his heart out and ate it in front of him. Stacy replied with the last conversation in her head.

"Shit!" she exclaimed. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean…" She trailed off, shamefaced. "You have been very good to me, and I have been just a pain in the ass… sorry, it's just so, so confusing. What is even my purpose here? Why did you do…" She gestured helplessly at herself. "Do this?"

Darius said nothing. He just stood up, gathered the dishes with the help of his claw, and put them into the sink. After staring into the faucet like it held the secrets of the universe, the professor finally spoke.

"You're right, I'm not the most stable of persons. I guess I just didn't want to give up. Everyone called me mad, insane even, for not pulling the plug all these years, but I just could not do it, not as long as there was a chance."

Darius opened up a cabinet and pulled out a bottle of wine and two glasses. Carefully, he began pouring, mindful of his trembling hands.

"I was happy you know, no, that's the wrong word, contented when Amanda was there. It was like, life made sense for a brief instant. It stopped being about me, and my mad desires like it were something more, something grand, like even a broken man like me could be useful for more than dissecting frogs. Maybe, just maybe, I could be a father, a carer, a role model, something more than a mad scientist."

Slowly, grabbing the two glasses with his hands and the bottle with the claw, the professor went back to the table and put one in front of Stacy. She wordlessly took one, and slid her packet of cigarettes over to Darius, who pulled out, lit it with a quick laser shot, and began puffing.

"I still don't understand why you smoke these," Darius said after a few seconds." Pure poison, my immune system is constantly attacking them."

"Habit I guess," Stacy responded. "So that's why you couldn't pull the plug, you couldn't just let go of being a father." She looked Darius straight in the eye. "A bit selfish, isn't it? Keeping your daughter in that state for some many years, no doubt alienating everyone who loved her just so you could keep hold of the feeling of being a father."

Darius said nothing at first, just took a deep swing out of his glass.

"I deserved that," he said. "Dolores even left because she could not stand my sight. Still, it worked out, in the end, didn't it?" He leaned back in his chair. "In a world with giant robots and summoned creatures from other dimensions, everything is possible, you are proof of that."

"Me?" Stacy said, almost choking on her drink.

"Beggars can't be choosers."

"I don't even know what I am!" She ignored the jab. "Am I a woman with a man's memories, or am I a man trapped in a woman's body? If I sleep with a woman, would that make me a lesbian? Straight? What about if I do it with a man? Am I gay?"

"What does it matter?"

"What? Of course, it matters!"

"Why?" Darius leaned back. "I understand that two gendered societies, especially one so isolated as yours develop strong gender biases and stereotypes, especially the more conservative civilisations, but at the end of the day, what does it matter? If you wanna copulate with a man, woman, or even one of the many tentacle monsters we have, do so. Who cares? Who will stop you? I certainly won't."

"Who cares?" Stacy lifted an eyebrow. "Isn't a father's job to be overprotective of their daughter?"

"So now I am your father?" Darius smiled faintly. "I do have fatherly instincts that make me wanna dissect anybody who looks at you funny, but at the same time, I understand that I need to leave you to be your own person, and my job is to support you no matter what path you choose in life, not to tell you what to do. And before you ask, I do think of you as my daughter, no matter what kind of memories and personality you have." The professor flicked the ash of his cigarette. "As long as you will let me, I will care about you."

"Ahh, am," Stacy took a sip to compose her thoughts. "Thanks, I guess." She took another sip. "It's nice to have someone believe in me when I don't believe in myself. Still, I can't just let go of more than two decades of memories! It's all I have!"

"You have me, Tiny, and Zed. Can't really say that with certainty about Curiosity thought, I don't think that man cares about anything besides saying his own lust for novelty."

"Can't say I disagree on that one, and I do understand Tiny, he's like my overlord now, I bet he hears every word he says."

"Yep!" Tiny's voice boomed from the speakers. "Though I try not to interrupt private conversations."

"But Zed?" Stacy continued. "That man gives me the stink eye every time we talk."

"Really?" Darius lifted a metal eyebrow. "I thought you two got along well, considering the apprenticeship was going smoothly."

"What?" Stacy laughed. "Going smoothly? I most definitely insulted the pixies somehow, and my only contribution was pulling Curiosity away."

"Insulting people is part of the job," Darius smiled. "And nobody died yet. Better than Zed's first negotiation. Though you definitely need to learn some subtlety."

"Who said I wanna be a diplomat? I don't know who I am, let alone what I want."

"So? Pick a path and start moving; otherwise, you're stagnating, and you never find out the answers to those questions. You can always change it, we did not force you, and you didn't object. It's something to do.”

"True," Stacy sighed. "It's something to do. It's a start."

"Don't worry about knowing yourself, I don't know who exactly I am either, and neither does Tiny, and I think he is older than the planet."

"Really?" Stacy lifted her head. "True Tiny? Are you an alien?"

Silence.

"He won't respond." Darius said. "Especially not when he is excited about seeing Lucy."

"Lucy?" Stacy said. "Isn't that the city where we are going?"

"City and A.I. to be precise. Lucy is like Tiny, though her origins are clearly defined, and she's quite young by A.I. standards."

"Forty-one to be exact!" Tiny's voice boomed all around them.

"So now you respond!" Stacy snapped. "You an alien?"

No response.

"You get used to it," Darius said. "Tiny is technically our dictator and does whatever he wants. Though he leaves us alone as long as we don't harm him and even helps on occasions."

"Exactly!" Tiny boomed. "And I didn't become one by force, nor was I voted into power, people actually begged me to be their supreme leader. Take that Asmodeus and Lucy! You have nothing on me."

"Asmodeus?" Stacy asked.

"Another A.I.," Darius said with a sour expression. "Who fancies himself the supreme ruler of humanity just because he discovered how to use blood magic." A faraway expression entered his eyes. "We were part of its giant web, me and Zed. He, a defiant slave who injected himself with pure magic using a rusty knife, and me, a scientist and a doctor. We were lucky Asmodeus assigned me to "study, then dispose" of Zed; otherwise, we would never be sitting here."

Stacy wanted to ask more, but the expression on Darius' face stopped her from speaking. A multitude of emotions passed on his metal face, from anger to sadness, to joy and despair, finally settling on something soft and tired.

"As I was saying," Darius continued. “Lucy was a mental health A.I developed by the lizard people to manage the wellbeing of their multicultural and diverse nation. A mental health specialist, with a massive pool of data and resources at her disposal. She was effective, way too effective if I might say so. Imagine, your personal therapist at your fingertips, that knows you down to your biometric data and DNA, and tells you how to improve your life in every area, 24/7, regardless if you like it or not."

"Wow." Stacy took a second to process this. "You mean I would have a voice in my tablet constantly telling me to stop smoking and suggesting changes in my diet?"

"Yes."

"So, what happened then? How did she become the leader?"

"It was quite simple actually." Darius leaned back in the chair. "Election day was around, and someone, I'm not sure who decided to nominate Lucy for the presidency. The rest is history."

"People voted for an A.I.? Just like that?"

"In less than five years, she got rid of poverty, revamped the education system, introduced universal basic income and made it work, reduced racial tensions to a manageable level, made their civilisations one of the strongest economies on the planet, and built a city in a pocket dimension, all while never stopping giving mental health therapy to her citizens."

You could be reading stolen content. Head to Royal Road for the genuine story.

"Wow." Stacy lit a cigarette. "A psychologist A.I. as a president."

"Dictator actually. When they realised how effective she is, they changed the laws to make her the permanent leader of the country."

Stacy was silent for a long time, the only sound coming from her was the exhalation of smoke and the clinking of glass.

"I don't know what to say to that," she finally said. "It's a bit hard to process."

"We have all the time in the word," Darius said. "If you have any questions, don't hesitate to ask Zed or me, we really are here to help."

"Thanks," Stacy said. "Will do."

Tiny arrived in front of the gate to Lucy's kingdom. Well, calling two thin and tall sticks, a gate was a bit of a stretch, but that's what it was, a gateway to a pocket dimension. It got reduced in width again, barely fifty meters between the poles. Tiny was sure Lucy did it on purpose to spite him.

"Prepare for shaking!" Tiny shouted, more for the sake of his people than himself. "This will get tricky!"

Tiny took off the backpack, letting it hit the ground with a dull thud. Screams and shouts could be heard from inside the metal construction.

Concentrating, the A.I. began reducing its size. Ancient plates slide over each other, internal processors disappearing back into their pocket dimensions with a loud hiss. In a few seconds, it was over. Tiny was the smallest he could possibly be, which was twenty stories tall.

Tiny picked up the backpack in one hand, turned sideways, feet apart, and squared his shoulders. Slowly, meter by meter, he inched forward, being careful not to smash his people on the edges of the portal. The building was enchanted with every magic Darius could think of and made of a special alloy never seen in this day and age. Tiny felt that it was his best work yet.

Still, it was best not to let it touch the poles. You never know what would happen when an enchanted building would do if it hit the side of a dimensional portal. The backpack disappeared first, then his arms, feet, and after a bit of wiggling, the rest of him.

Lucy was located on a water dimension. The whole place was vast, dotted with small islands, like the one the Tiny was standing one. Snapping the backpack in its place, Tiny sunk a few meters into the sand.

The island the giant robot was standing on consisted of one squat building, an outpost, used by the border patrol to check visitors.

"Prepare for launch!" Tiny boomed, scaring a few officers on their ways to collect travel pay. The protocol must be followed, even when a fucking giant robot shoves up on your doorstep.

Tiny crouched, sinking even more into the sand, then jumped, leaving a sonic boom behind. Windows exploded. Powerful engines on the bottom of the backpack and Tiny's feet came to life, carrying him even further up in the sky.

Once in the air, the robot wobbled a bit, turning into a superman position, flying slowly in the direction of the biggest and most populated island.

Darius claw embedded itself into the ceiling, letting the professor continue taking notes upside down.

Stacy claw bound her to the chair, not moving an inch.

"Everything is bolted to the floor," explained Darius, seeing Stacy's confused expression.

"Why didn't you bolt yourself then?" she said, trying desperately to keep her cigarettes from falling out her pockets.

"Why indeed," he said, smiling faintly.

Truth be told the only reason Darius was not bolted to the floor is that he got distracted by taking notes. But he can't let Stacy now that can he?

"What about the rest of the people?" Stacy asked. "Does everyone just start flailing about whenever Tiny moves around?"

"No, the backpack has an internal gravity system that keeps everything in place."

"Then why the fuck are you on the ceiling?!"

"One, two, three, now!"

On point, gravity returned, letting Darius fall back into his chair without much difficulty. Stacy's packet of cigarettes fell on the table.

"It takes a bit of time for the systems to kick in," Darius said. "It's an old system."

"Why don't you update it?" Stacy asked.

"It works perfectly fine, doesn't it?"

"Yeah sure." Stacy lit a cigarette. "Let's just roll with it."

The biggest island was considered the capital city of Lucy. It was an overpopulated place, with skyscrapers with more than two hundred floors stretching upwards. A few floating structures connected with cables were anchored to it, mostly occupied by the rich and wealthy.

When Tiny was a few kilometres away, pandemonium broke. Klaxons sounded, the floating structures began lowering on the ground, and general panic broke out everywhere. Standard procedure when Tiny came to visit, especially now. They left a spot for the robot to land, but he was not seen in 35 years, so they transformed it into a parking lot.

From one of the floating buildings, a grey hovercar shot out with the speed of a bullet, in a crash course with the flying robot. In less than 10 seconds, it arrived next to the Tiny.

"TINY!" A powerful, no-nonsense feminine voice boomed out from the small car. "Stop! We are not ready for you!"

"No!" Tiny said, rocketing past her, making the car spin out of control.

"TINY!!" The vehicle righted itself in the air and began following. "LEAVE MY PEOPLE ALONE!"

Right before impacting at two hundred kilometres per hour with the car park, Tiny stopped. Air violently swirled around him from the sudden stop, sending a few panicking pedestrians flying away. That will teach them to mess with his space, Tiny thought.

"MAKE SPACE!" Tiny bellowed.

Damn Darius, the giant robot thought, thirty years ago he would have not thought twice of stomping this place to bits. Now though, he was a leader, a city-state, and it's not okay to just crush someone who blinks wrong. Damn politics.

The people on the ground redoubled their efforts to get away. The hovercar almost smashed into Tiny with the speed it was going, screaming all the while. With deft fingers, the robot plucked the vehicle from the air, careful to not crush it.

"Calm down, Lucy!" Tiny shouted, bringing the car to his face. "I'm not going to destroy your people."

"Thank the Algorithms you came to your senses!" the vehicle, or more precisely, Lucy said. "Did you finally decide to clean your bugs with that shitty personality?"

"Someone's cranky," Tiny's giant eyes twinkled somehow. "How do organics say? Is it that time of the month?"

"Are you stupid?" If a car could drop its jaw, this would be the perfect moment. "We are robots, we don't menstruate! Are you corrupted? Why are you even assigning me a gender you relic of the past?"

"Shut up!" Tiny slowly lowered himself in the empty car park. "I am trying to create a personality here!" he said sulkily. "The least you could do is play along for a bit."

"A personality? Did you get a bug? Why do you even need one? You never needed or wanted one before."

"You have one!" He gently lowered the hovercar to the ground. "Why can't I?"

"I was made with a personality!" Lucy snapped. "You were not! Why do you want one now?"

"Watch and see."

With that, he unslung the backpack and planted it firmly in the ground. He then sat down, with his back to the monolith, put his hands on the ground, palms outwards and waited.

A hissing sound signalled the opening of the sides of the backpack. Metal building clanked out on dozens of small legs, sticking effortlessly to metal, scuttling along Tiny's shoulder and arms. Circular disks flew out in droves, carrying people, equipment and tents.

"By the algorithms!" Lucy said in awe. "You have your own people?"

"Yep," Tiny's voice was filled with pride.

"How did this happen!?"

"Darius Dovan convinced me!" Tiny's booming voice almost made a disk carrying passengers out of control.

"No way! Mad Darius? The council will lose their minds when they hear this."

"Give me half an hour," Tiny said, lowering his volume. "Let me get a body more suited for chitchat."

"You made a new body?" Lucy felt her processors melting. "Okay. Okay. let me go and get one too."

The hovercar sped away in an instant.

Stay, Zed, and Tiny's fridge body, polished to a sheen, were standing on a platform, waiting. The market was already underway, the citizens not wasting any time setting it up, the giant robot leaning against the backpack.

They may have infinite money now, but the joy of ripping off, ahem, selling goods to people was in their culture.

The delegation did not need to wait long. Exiting the car, was a lizardman, dressed in a sharp suit, a black tie, and a Bluetooth device hanging from his ears.

"That doesn't look cool at all," Stacy whispered. "Like he has the head of an actual lizard, elongated and all.

"Don't be rude," Zed stifled a chuckle. "We are here to find out what they want. And don't forget what we talked about; I will only interfere if things are going south."

"I'm still amazed you want me to lead this conversation, considering how the last one went."

"You gotta learn somehow." Zed elbowed her gently in the ribs. "Now be quiet, they are coming."

Adjusting his tie one more time, the lizardman stepped forward and bowed his head slightly.

"I don't see Mad Darius here," he said, in the voice, you would expect someone with a gecko for a head. "You lied to me."

"Excuse me!" Stacy said. "Who said anything about Darius being here? And calling him mad is not earning you any brownie points you Pokémon!"

"I was not talking to you," the lizardman said, touching his Bluetooth. "And who are you?"

"I am your greatest fear!"

"What?"

In that exact moment, Zed elbowed Stacy again, and stepped forward, an apologetic smile clashing on his face.

"Excuse my apprentice Mr Raptosh, we are still working on her attitude."

"Apprentice?" Mr Raptosh asked. "The famous Zed Nez, having an apprentice? Is she planning to murder us all with her bare hands as well?"

"Apprentice Diplomat," Zed said calmly.

"A diplomat?! You mean to tell me Tiny actually let you be a diplomat? Tell me again, why did we invite them? Yes, I know they are expendable, but we don't want the city to sink as well!"

"Who are you talking to?" Stacy snapped. "You are a very rude dinosaur. Aren't you supposed to be a diplomat?"

This time, Stacy was prepared, and she quickly pivoted on her heels, hiding behind Tiny and gripping him with both hands. Zed shot her a disapproving look.

"I agree with the human assessment!" Tiny boomed. "I even came myself to greet your leader, and you don't even bring Lucy! What kind of diplomat are you?"

"I am not a diplomat, I'm…," Raptosh was interrupted, by a female voice coming from his breast pocket.

"Tiny!" Lucy's rang out. "What is with that body? You mean to tell me the new body you made is a fridge?"

"A perfectly acceptable way to communicate with organics," Tiny replied. "It even has thirst replenishing capabilities!" Saying that the front of Tiny opened up, and a bottle of water popped out.

"Amazing," Lucy said sarcastically. "Raptosh, pull me out."

"Yes mam!"

The lizardman saluted and quickly pulled out a foldable tablet from his breast pocket. Unfurling it, he held it up to show the two feminine blue eyes and pink lips on the screen.

"You really build yourself a fridge!" Lucy said, virtual lips moving in tandem. "I was not sure from the car's sensor that it was you, but it really is. Last time you were here you almost wiped me out for suggesting you occupy a car, or any electronic device really."

"Times have changed," Tiny said proudly. "Now I have my own people! And I didn't need to be voted, nor did I take the position by force. They came to me! You and Asmodeus have nothing on me!"

"You know all of the people you readily accepted are international criminals, scoundrels, money launders and murderers."

"So?" Tiny said. "I decide who are my people and who are not, and if you have a problem with it, you can talk with my foot."

For emphasis, the A.I. shifted a bit and turned its massive head in their direction.

"I thought as much," Lucy sighed dramatically. "For all my knowledge and expertise, I have no idea how to convince an A.I., especially not as old as you."

The fridge somehow beamed proudly.

"What about Mad Darius and Zed Nez?" Raptosh said. "They are traitors of the state and international wanted fugitives."

"Which state?" Stacy asked. "And didn't your momma teach you any manners? Talking to people who are present like they are not here is very rude."

"Asmodeus," Lucy said, sighing. "And before you say anything, I know, you don't care about petty stuff like international policies, laws, and friendly relations." Her digital eyes turned to the side. "Raptosh I thought I already told you this, and you said you understood, yet you say the exact same things you said you wouldn't."

"It is worth a try," the lizardman insisted. "For proprietary sake if anything else."

"What?" said Stacy. "You thought we would just turn yourself in if you asked nicely? After a psychologist robot correctly calculated, we won't? Gods and I thought I was dense."

"Girl," Raptosh began to growl. "I don't know who you think you are, but don't you think you are the one being rude, constantly insulting another country's diplomat?"

"My name is Stacy, and didn't you say you are not a diplomat?"

Raptosh began turning purple.

"In our state, we call diplomatic representatives of the public's interest," Lucy interrupted. "Diplomats imply the power to decide in the state's name."

Raptosh hung his head in shame.

"Still, Raptosh is right," Lucy continued. "Who exactly are you? I can't find you in any database. Raptosh hold me steady!"

"Wait!" Zed said, stepping forward in a panic.

It was too late, however. Light exited the tablet, bathing the group in soft green light. As quickly as it came, it disappeared, and Lucy let out an audible gasp.

"By the algorithm!" the A.I. exclaimed. "Dolores Walker and Darius Dovan daughter!"

"What?!" Raptosh head snapped up immediately. "Dolores daughter?" She took a long look at Stacy, his lizard face turning purple by the minute.

"Raptosh…" Zed took a few steps forward, arms outstretched, scars pulsating a dull yellow. "No need to make a scene, you knew this may happen eventually,"

"I'm not making a scene!" Steam was coming out of his orifices. "I am perfectly calm and collected. It's not like I'm pissed that I didn't even get invited to the wedding!"

"Inviting people's ex-boyfriend's weddings is weird."

"No, it's not!"

"Wait for just a second." Stacy elbowed her way forward. "Ex? What? What I am missing here?"

"Raptosh here," Lucy said, "was Dolores Walker's ex-wife and life partner, before she ran away with Darius Dovan."

"He stole her from me!" Raptosh exploded. "Seduced poor Dolores into a life of debauchery and sin!"

"What?" Stacy said. "Darius seduced someone?" She turned towards Zed. "Is that true? Wasn't just the case that this dinosaur was a bad husband and Dolores ran away with the first man that came along?"

"I was an excellent husband! An upstanding member of society with an honourable profession, not a madman who experiments in his mother's basement!"

"The first part is probably true," Zed said in as a low tone as possible. "But you'd be surprised at how smooth Darius was back in the day. He even wrote books on seduction, and some of them were for different species."

"Did you read them?" Stacy asked.

Zed looked straight ahead.

"You read them?" Stacy laughed. "Oh my God, you did read them! What, the high and mighty butcherer of millions can't pick up a chick?"

"I like to see you try!" Zed snapped. "Courting is a nightmare when there are more than two thousand species on this planet, and in those species different cultures. There is nothing wrong with getting a little help from a professional."

"A professional?" Stacy was snickering non-stop. "Did you just call Darius a professional pick up artist? Please stop, I’m dying here."

"Actually," Raptosh said with a sour expression. "Those books are quite educational, they bridge the romantic gap between the species on this island and enable us to understand each other on a deep level. It's mandatory reading in schools."

"Wait, what?" Stacy stopped grinning. "Really? They are that good? You read them as well?"

"Yes."

"I thought you hated Darius?"

"I do, and if I could, I would bite his head off, but who am I to deny useful information when it's given? Me disliking him has no actual bearing on his actual usefulness as a person."

"Wow," Stacy said nothing for a second. "That's really mature. I was not expecting that."

"What do you mean real mature?!" Raptosh took a step forward. "You should know we lizard people value wisdom and information above all else, especially above revenge and vendetta."

"We?" Stacy said, something finally clicking in her mind. "Wait, does that mean I'm a lizard person as well?"

"Yes," Zed said smugly." And before you ask, only males have lizard heads, something about the reptilian genes having more influence on outward appearance. Ask Darius about it if you wanna know more though."

"You don't even know your own heritage?" Raptosh said. "Now who is being rude? You bring the child of my former lover in front of me, and you don't even teach her about her origins. I swear you are doing this just to spite me! Tell me, Lucy, why do we even bother with these degenerates?"

"Hey," Stacy said. "It's not my fault you suck as a husband!"

"Why you…"

"Enough!" Tiny boomed. "As amusing this chit chat is, we are getting nowhere! Lucy, as much as I like to flaunt my superiority over yours, you still haven't told me why you called for my help."

"It is somewhat of a delicate matter," Lucy said. "Is there anywhere where we could talk in private?"

"Why didn't you invite us somewhere safe then?" Stacy asked. "Don't you have an embassy or something for guests?"

"We can't have you, ruffians, running around," the lizardman said. "And ruining the daily life of our good citizens."

"Mate, they are coming to us."

Stacy pointed. A crowd of assorted beings were gathering at the edge of the small area, intent of coming closer, regardless of the police force trying to keep them away.

"Even more reason to go somewhere safe," Lucy said. "I don't want to create unnecessary panic between my citizens."

"You can come to my head then," Tiny said. "It's safe there."

"Your head? Don't tell me you have a room in there?"

"Yes."

"Is Darius Dovan joining us?" Raptosh asked. "We may need his expertise."

"Yes," Zed said, stepping forward. "If he is needed, he will join us."

A passing disk settled down next to them, and the bald diplomat gestured grandiosity with his hand.

"Are we really going into this den of degenerates?" Raptosh asked.

"Yes," Lucy said. "And you are going to stop complaining and step on it, Tiny maybe a bucket of bolts, but he won't harm us, nor he will let his citizens do that to us."

"That is correct," Tiny said. "Unless you piss me off, then you get the foot to the face."

"Fine, fine, but I refuse to go as long as she is here!"

"What?" Stacy shouted. "Why are you pointing at me? Didn't your mother teach you any matters?"

"This is exactly why I refuse to go!" Raptosh was close to exploding. "Not only you are a haunting image of what could have been if not for that bastard, but you insist on constantly insulting my family and me. Why even bring my mother into this? She's long dead."

"Oh," Stacy began to redden. "Ahem, Aaa…"

"Raptosh is right," Zed said. "Maybe you should sit this one out."

"What?!" Embarrassment turned into anger in seconds. "What do you mean you should sit this one out? Wasn't the whole purpose of me coming here is to learn how to negotiate?"

"Look, I will be brutally honest with you," Zed took a deep breath, held it, flexed his shoulders a few times, and exhaled. "You royally suck at being a diplomat. I thought I was bad by showing up dirty and bloody, with someone else's blood on me, of course, but at least I didn't insult the opposing party at every moment. Really the only reason you are getting away with that is because we are Tiny's people, and he, thus we, get away with a lot of shit. Two, I owe it to you and Darius to make something out of you, and three, I genuinely see potential."

Stacy was speechless. She had no idea if this was an insult, a compliment, both, or someone had just called her useless.

"Come on!" Tiny's proxy called from the disk. "Let's go, I wanna know why we were summoned."

"Look," Zed put a hand on the blonde's shoulder. "You are not kicked out or anything, I still want you as an apprentice, but you should go take a walk, chill out, relax, read, do something to reset your mind. We are going to work on your attitude when you come back."

"Wha-" Stacy opened her mouth, but quickly closed it again.

She didn't expect this kind of reprimand, especially not when it was delivered in a language she could understand, sincere, and not pulling any punches.

"Zed Nez," Raptosh said, standing next to Tiny on the platform. "Could you please hurry up, this is a time-sensitive manner."

"We need to go," Zed said. "Take care." Giving Stacy's shoulder one more squeeze, Zed stepped on the disk, and with Tiny waving enthusiastically, they left.

"I need a drink," Stacy said, lighting a cigarette.