The calm silence of the night was broken only by the soft sloshing of the waves against the dock. They had settled down directly beneath it, where the churned-up sand was a little gooey, but soft and blanketed in smooth tendrils of seagrass. Above, thin slivers of moonlight shone through the slats and danced across the surface of the water. Though she was meant to be sleeping, Karina found the flickering beams of light almost mesmerizing as she laid flat on her back and stared up at the surface.
Her head was resting on Nero’s chest, and his heartbeat was drumming soothingly in her ear, while the gentle currents from his gills tickled the crown of her head.
She flicked her fins and hummed to herself as she hugged her baby. He had been very still and silent for quite a while after birth, but he would not be tethered to her constantly for much longer and she wanted to enjoy the sensation as long as she could. He was becoming more active without prompting, vocalizing and stirring, and it seemed he cared more for sleeping through the day rather than the night.
A low burble echoed in her ears as his tiny tail twisted and slapped against her ribs. She tucked a hand under her fins and began rubbing the orange-red fuzz on his skull. His tiny hands began to knead at her flesh in response as he nursed, and it dragged a deep purr from her chest. She shifted so that she could see him as she loosened her protective fins. One brown eye shone in the moonlight as he stared up at her. Her purring deepened.
She and Nero had been discussing a few possible names for the baby, and they had come to an agreement on one they liked best. Before they made the final decision, Nero wanted to talk to Luna. Karina agreed it was probably for the best, given the nature of the name. She only hoped the young Mer would see the same meaning in it that they did.
“Kierin,” she murmured, testing the name out as she stared at her baby. Karina wanted to acknowledge all the risk and suffering that had happened around her son’s birth, but also give him an identity and a positive meaning despite it. She admired the sapphire Mer for still having so much life and personality despite all she had been through.
And deep down, she knew the name was not just meant as a reminder of how Luna used to be and how she had found herself, but it also served as a reminder of her pod. Her heart squeezed as she thought about it. Her throat closed and she nearly choked on her last breath of water. Her pod had developed a tradition over many generations. It had initially been accidental, then actively done later that the first child would bear a name that started with the first sound of one parent and ended with the first sound of the other. She was not certain Nero knew about it, talking about her pod now was still a raw wound, so they rarely ventured onto the topic, but knowing that the name could symbolize so much and still follow a tradition she had secretly yearned to participate in, filled Karina with a sense of bittersweet joy that made her yearn to grant it to her son.
Within her embrace, he stirred again and began chirruping at her in a squeaky, broken tone. There was no meaning behind the sounds, just his exploration of his own voice, but it brought a smile to Karina’s lips. She continued to purr, but gently placed her free hand on Nero’s chest and whispered his name. Luna and her parents were not far away and she did not want to disturb them. “Nero,” she called again, just a little bit louder when he did not respond.
Nero snorted low in his throat as he woke. His hand grabbed her shoulder. “Is something wrong?”
Karina shook her head and pushed herself into a sitting position. “Come,” she urged as she pushed from the sand and swam the few tail-lengths to one of the pier legs. She sank back into the sand and leaned her back against the post.
Nero’s brows were furrowed, but he did not question her as he followed her lead and settled down beside her. He draped an arm across her shoulders and pulled her close to his side. “Are you alright?” he inquired. “You should be resting.”
Karina shook her head. “There is time for sleep later,” she whispered. She gathered their son into her arms properly without dislodging him so that she could unfurl her fins enough that they held him from beneath, but exposed his tiny body to both his parents. “It will not be much longer,” she murmured. “I want him to stay this small forever, but I also wish for his father to hold him. I know you will make him feel as warm and safe and loved as you have made me feel.”
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Nero purred in response and nuzzled her cheek. It stole a giggle from her, but when she ducked away from the playful attention, she earned a slap from the baby’s fins as he began to vocalize his protests at being jostled. His fingers pinched at her skin a few times before he resumed kneading and nursing. Karina shifted her weight, leaned her head against Nero’s shoulder, and continued to purr. This moment was perfect.
She watched lazily as Nero reached out to stroke his fingers down their son’s spine. Compared to Nero’s hand, the baby looked so tiny and breakable, but Nero’s touch was as gentle as possible and Karina was not worried. With how intense her instincts had been since giving birth, she was almost surprised it was so easy to expose her infant to the open water like this, but she supposed that simply showed how deeply she trusted Nero. He was her mate, her heart and soul, and she knew he would always protect their child. When she was around him, she had little to fear.
“I love you,” she whispered as she turned her head to kiss the skin of his shoulder. Nero was strong, but his skin was still soft against her lips and she hummed.
“I love you too,” he rumbled. He shifted his weight and his arms fell away from both her and their son as he adjusted. Before Karina could ask what he was doing, she had one arm around the small of her back and the other under her tail as he scooped her up into his lap. “I am eager for the chance to hold him too,” Nero lamented. “But for now, I shall settle for holding the both of you.”
Karina hummed in agreement and curled her tail until her fins were tangled around his fluke and she leaned bodily against him. Nero leaned forward and began kissing the side of her neck. Heat rose in Karina’s cheeks and she squirmed in his grasp. Breathless giggles bubbled from her mouth as his lips passed over her gills and she shivered. “Nero,” she protested lightly as he growled playfully and his teeth grazed her gills next. She shivered again and swatted at him. “Stop it!” she protested as she leaned away from him.
Against her chest, their son began to chirp at them, and this time she would have sworn it sounded grumpy. She clucked her tongue and smiled down at him. “I am sorry, but your father is being terribly silly,” she explained solemnly. She gently bounced the infant until he settled back down, then twisted to kiss Nero properly. “You are evil,” she whispered against him as she kissed him again.
He cupped her face and deepened the kiss. Her heart fluttered in her ribcage and she continued to purr. When they finally broke apart for a breath, Karina leaned back down against him. She could hear his heartbeat while she refocused on her son. He had stopped kneading at her and was now just lazily flicking his pale gray fins while his fingers opened and closed in fists. His eyes were closed now, but he was making all sorts of noise, muffled hums and chirps, that Karina did not imagine he would settle into slumber for a little while yet.
“Have I thanked you recently?” Nero whispered.
“For what?” Karina checked.
Nero’s chest rumbled as he tangled his fingers in her hair and cupped the back of their son’s head. “You endured such an ordeal during labour,” he muttered. “You were so brave and so strong, and I just am not certain that I ever properly expressed how grateful I am to have you, and now to have him.”
Karina reached up and cupped his cheek. “You were with me the entire time,” she reminded. “It was not all me. I would not be here if not for you.”
Nero shook his head. “Riley and Katie did more than I did. I hate that I was not able to do more. I should have protected you better.”
Karina bared her teeth at him. “You did everything you could, you are not to blame for what happened,” she hissed. She took a breath and kissed him tenderly. “But I did not mean about the birth, Nero. If it were not for you, I would have been pressured into a loveless bond or perished in the same spill that killed…” Karina bit her lip and looked away until she felt Nero squeeze her hand. “You practically carried me all the way to your pod after it happened. You held me and cared for me and supported me even when I was not the nicest.”
“You were grieving,” Nero murmured.
“That is no excuse for how I treated you,” Karina refused. “I love you, Nero. You owe me nothing. We brought our son into the world together, just as we have done everything else. Do not let what was beyond your control shadow that joy with guilt, because I have not questioned you or your role in his creation once. You are going to be an excellent father, Nero. Just as you are the best mate I could have ever hoped for; and the best friend.” She leaned forward and kissed him again. “I love you.”
“I love you too,” Nero agreed. He smiled and she watched his attention shift back to his son. She hated that Nero felt such guilt over what happened, and she could not accuse him when she felt guilt too for not being stronger or able to help herself at that moment.
But all that mattered now was that their son was strong and healthy and beautiful and that she and Nero were both here to watch him grow. This was her best life and she wanted to live it free of doubts over what could have gone wrong or almost happened. They were safe and happy, and she was going to treasure that.
She smiled as she leaned her head back down against Nero’s chest and closed her eyes with a contented sigh. Nothing had changed, and he always made her feel safe. Their son was safe, she was warm, and slumber was welcoming. Especially once Nero began to rub her scalp and purr.