It was a walk of shame towards the city’s centre. Raine was painfully aware that they were sticking out like a sore thumb amongst the drab greys of Marque. Though, it was hardly his fault for not looking as if he lost the joy of life.
They had unintentionally intruded on a local market, with food stalls blocking most of the streets. Although markets were usually colourful and bustling with life, somehow the atmosphere felt more akin to a funeral. People ambled past each other with hardened looks, and seldom exchanged words when they bought goods. More than once, Nikorai received an unfriendly elbow in their side from walking too slow.
It saddened Raine to see an occasion renowned for liveliness turned into a monotonous chore. Yet, he knew that looking on as an outsider was far from the truth. He was unfamiliar with the city’s customs; it was highly possible they had other ways of connecting with each other.
A ping of annoyance from Nikolay signalled Raine to cease wallowing in his thoughts. Having a shared headspace was convenient, but it was brutally transparent when it came to emotions.
As Nikorai trudged past the cobbled streets, residents of all ages stopped their activities to stare at the newcomer. Raine was pretty sure that an old woman was about to throw her basket full of groceries at him. Whether this was in fear or disgust, it still gave Raine a sense of discomfort either way.
Can you take over? Raine whined. You’d fit right at home in this depressing town.
Nope. I’m having too much fun watching you squirm.
You sadistic jerk.
A young woman dressed in rags blocked their path, stumbling in front of them. In a reflexive manner, Raine quickly stepped forward to catch her before she hit the ground. It was far from a valiant rescue by a knight in shining armour, but Raine managed to ease the brunt of the force.
Her hood fell off as Raine helped her stand up. Raine was startled to find that she was about the same age as him. With a lovely face, too. There was a flush to her cheeks that was indicative of her past beauty.
“Thank you, kind sir,” she mumbled through cracked lips. “Few people help beggars anymore.”
Ah. That would explain her rags.
“Don’t worry about it,” Raine said, scratching his head. “Uh, you look great. I wouldn’t have even known if you hadn’t told me.”
Nikolay was amused by Raine’s response. Never held a girl before?
If you haven’t noticed, I’m equally awkward around everyone, no matter their gender, Raine remarked. What the hell am I supposed to say when someone tells me they’re a beggar?
Even the girl was a little confused at Raine’s comment. “T- Thank you. I should leave. I’ve already taken up your time.”
Raine had the strong urge to slap himself for being such an idiot.
“Wait!” he said, grabbing her wrist. “Here, take this.”
He reached into his pocket and found some spare coins lying at the bottom. An assortment of gold and silver coins were deposited carefully in the woman’s hands.
Why do you have loose coins in your pock-
“Thank you so much,” she whispered as she cradled the coins. “I appreciate it, kind stranger.”
“No problem. I hope the rest of your day goes well.”
Nikorai watched as she swiftly darted away, weaving in and out of the market stalls. Apart from a few flashes of her brown rags, they quickly lost track of her. A middle-aged man roughly pushed past their unmoving figure, reminding them that they were still in the middle of the road. Raine quickly began walking again, partially pushed by the other market goers.
You shouldn’t have given her those coins, Nikolay sighed. People don’t give money to beggars for good reason.
It’s easy to say that when you can easily live in a life of comfort, blissfully ignoring the suffering of others. The least we can do is to help those less fortunate than us.
In an instant, the disappointment in Nikolay’s voice disappeared. Any hint of emotion was wiped clean; it was as if Raine was sharing a body with a blank slate. Instead of being relieved at Nikolay conceding, he only felt unnerved by the change.
In a quiet, flat voice, Nikolay asked, Do you truly believe that I spent all 8 of my lives in lavish luxury?
In that case, you should know better than anyone how tough it is, he replied softly.
Empathy and sympathy are two different things.
But if we lose our morals, then we lose our humanity. It’s our unique ability to feel emotions that makes us human.
Stolen content warning: this tale belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences elsewhere.
If Nikolay had heard his words, he didn’t acknowledge them. The lack of response meant that they lapsed back into an uncomfortable silence.
The void in place of Nikolay was painfully apparent now that they had stopped talking. To ignore the nagging sensation of Nikolay’s emotional absence, Raine stood up and began walking towards the nearest building. It seemed to be Kosira’s version of a convenience store, judging from the random assortment of general goods put on display.
Raine walked into the store with bated breath. He expected Nikolay to berate him for not following a niche custom, or for blindly walking in without checking for traps. Instead of the usual scolding about some nonsense, he was met with radio silence. Clearly, they had touched on a sensitive topic for Nikolay. Unfortunately for him, Raine was feeling more alone than ever without his presence.
...Hey, Nikolay.
No response. He wasn’t sure why he expected one to begin with.
Can you come back, please? It feels empty without having someone here.
Again, there was no response. Even though Raine had obviously anticipated this, there was still a sense of disappointment that crept up on him.
Just as Raine was about to push down his feelings and move on, a familiar deep rumble stopped him.
You idiot, I’m obviously here. Where else would I go?
Despite the roughness of his words, Nikolay allowed a sliver of resignation filter into their shared minds. Raine smiled. For all of his tough talk, Nikolay had some kindness left in his perpetually grumpy state.
Naturally, there was a sigh from Nikolay when he felt Raine’s gratefulness.
Looks like they’ve got all kinds of things, Raine remarked as he inspected a white box near the counter.
“Young man, you cannot buy that,” the shop owner said in a heavy accent. “They are for old men only.”
They’re cigarettes, Raine. It says so on the side.
Oh, shit.
Raine hastily put it back and apologised to the owner. In light of his unfortunate mistake, he decided that browsing at the back of the shop would yield less pressure. He made a suspicious-looking beeline towards the corner furthest from the window and the counter.
What should we get here? Raine asked. Seems like everything will be useful in certain situations.
We’ll need a first aid kit, most of all. And toiletries, too. We probably won’t have access to running water all the time, so buy some bottles. Buy as few battery-powered things as you can; there won’t be electricity in the middle of nowhere.
Raine couldn’t stop himself from grinning at Nikolay’s almost practiced speech. It was like Nikolay’s perfectionist attitude perfectly suited this task. At least now he was talking at a fervent pace, rather than the abject silence that was present earlier.
As they went about their grocery run, there was the occasional quip of advice from Nikolay.
Don’t forget the shaving cream, too. You just walked past the insect repellent, idiot. The non-perishables aisle is on your left. That one’s cheaper, it costs less per gram. No, not that one. The one next to it.
With the aid of stern instructions from Nikolay, Raine filled an entire basket with important items for travelling. It was getting heavy, but not quite enough to stop Nikorai’s pitifully weak arms from keeping it barely off the ground.
You’ll need to buy another bag to hold all tha-
Nikolay paused when he noticed a duffel bag already in Raine’s hands.
So there are a few brain cells left in you, after all.
Raine felt like cheering when Nikolay half-complimented him for thinking of buying another bag. Earning Nikolay’s approval was a rare commodity, and Raine would be damned if he didn’t congratulate himself on achieving it. Even if he was a little too proud of something so small.
The imminent arrival of another obstacle swiftly ruined his mood. Mainly, the shop owner’s intimidating demeanour acted as a psychological ward against confrontation. Chalking it up to ‘apprehension’ severely understated Raine’s feelings about approaching the counter.
In a false, sweet tone, Raine said, Hey, Nikolay... Since I’ve been in control this entire time, would you be so kind as to check out the items for me?
You lost me at ‘kind’.
Please?
No.
Pretty pl-
NO.
With great effort, they hauled all their items to the counter. Raine just barely managed to keep Nikorai from slamming the basket on the countertop. He stepped back and immediately started fidgeting with his hands in nervous anticipation.
“102.15 Kosyran,” the cashier said in a practiced tone.
He didn’t even scan any of the items...
The total is right, though. Pay up.
I might be stupid, but you didn’t need to tell me that, Raine grumbled.
Raine fished around in their backpack for their wallet, before coming to a horrifying realisation. He combed Nikorai’s hands through their backpack one more time, but only came up with their spare clothes. Dread insidiously crept into both of their brains as the cashier stared unblinkingly at Nikorai.
The beggar definitely stole our wallet when she ran into us; there’s no other way. I checked it before we left the ship.
Raine groaned. Say ‘I told you so’ and I will throw us off the nearest cliff.
This is why you shouldn’t trust anyone. Especially when you’re visiting another country as a clueless tourist.
She probably needed the money, anyway.
This prompted a deep sigh from Nikolay. Even if you gave away all of your money, nobody will be there to give you money in return. People are too absorbed in their own self-pity to bother helping others. And no, I do not care if this offends you by grouping you in with everybody else.
Raine gave the shop owner a half-hearted excuse, then quickly stepped outside of the store. The owner seemed unfazed by their odd behaviour, but Raine was sure that it would be a different story had they brought the basket outside with them.
Do you really think that’s true? That people are all self-absorbed and selfish?
I have lived as so many people, and yet, I can recall exactly zero times where somebody helped me out of the kindness of their heart. Eight lives, Raine. This is beyond luck with meeting the ‘right people’.
A wall of Raine’s sorrow virtually smacked Nikolay in the face, only serving to further irritate his mood.
I know you feel sorry for me. It doesn’t help.
There was a deep exhale from Raine, who was having trouble with finding the right words to say. He slumped against a nearby stone wall, too occupied with Nikolay to keep their body upright.
There are good people in the world. I promise.
An empty promise is worth nothing more than your naivety.
Raine firmly crossed his arms at the prospect of a challenge. Then I’ll prove it to you. No matter what, I’ll make sure you see that unconditional kindness still exists. Before we part ways when this prophecy is over, I will fulfil this promise.
How touching, Nikolay deadpanned. You should write a novel with such grandiose language.
Although Nikolay would have liked to believe Raine, it was probably not the best idea to deliver such a moving speech after they had their wallet stolen.