Today was a stressful day for Nikolay.
It wasn’t because he had to work in Tabitha’s bar, which he was still unfamiliar with. It wasn’t even because of the patrons getting blackout drunk in the middle of the day.
Today was stressful because it was the first time that Nikolay hadn’t been within arm’s reach of Raine since they’d first met. He’d attempted to convince Raine against going to the markets, but somehow Raine had interpreted it as a way to call him unreliable.
He wanted to put some sort of magic protection on Raine, but Nikolay knew that Raine would’ve seen it and insisted he’d be better off without it. If anything happened to Raine, he would be none the wiser until it was too late. What time was it normal to return home? How long did it take to walk from the markets to Tabitha’s bar? Was it dangerous? Were there snakes, or buildings on the verge of collapse, or a high risk of a wildfire?
“You look so damn anxious,” Tabitha called to Nikolay. “What’re the odds that it’s related to Raine?”
“Zero,” Nikolay replied with gritted teeth. “Absolutely none.”
“Sounds like the opposite to me. Don't worry, Raine seems like a capable guy. And it’s not like Aurelinne Village is crawling with dangerous people, anyway. Hell, I could personally introduce you to everybody in the village if you were that concerned.”
The last thing Nikolay wanted was to suffer through countless conversations with strangers.
“You already know that I would hate doing that.”
Tabitha sighed with dramatic effect. “Alright, it’s clear that you’re not getting anything done in this state. Let’s take a break for the rest of the day.”
Nikolay stared at her. “What about the customers?”
“I’ll close the bar, obviously. It’s no sweat off my back; they’re better off without drinking while the sun’s still this high up.”
“Even still…”
“Oh, you stickler for rules. Nothing you say can change my mind. Wait here. I’ll get something out that’ll help clear your mind for a bit.”
Nikolay crossed his arms and obliged, watching Tabitha close the doors and duck into a side room.
When she re-emerged, Tabitha carried a leather suitcase in her hand. The material was worn; the corners being badly scuffed from years of use. She walked over to a table by a window facing away from the village and Lake Litchmere. The scenery depicted rolling green hills and trees gently swaying in the drifting wind.
Nikolay followed her, sitting on the opposite chair. He eyed the suitcase with a scrutinising look.
“It’s not going to jump out at you,” Tabitha said, noting his wariness. “I promise.”
He remained silent as Tabitha undid the leather clasps. She pulled the top half up to reveal a classic wooden chessboard, complete with intricately carved pieces.
“Why chess?” Nikolay asked.
“Well, have you ever played before?”
“No.”
“Even better. I can teach you. Don’t worry, I’m used to it — I explain it to new patrons all the time. It helps to focus on something to replace whatever’s bothering the mind. Tried and tested on many troubled customers.”
“I am not troubled.”
“Mhmm. Black or white? White goes first.”
“Whichever.”
“Predictable. I’ll play black then.”
Tabitha set up the board for them with practiced efficiency, her hands moving just as fast as they did while mixing drinks.
“Alright. To start, let me explain how each piece works. The pawns can move forward two spaces for their first move, but otherwise, they move one space forward. They can only capture another piece if it’s one diagonal space away- are you okay?” Tabitha paused to look at Nikolay.
Nikolay seemed to not hear Tabitha at all, merely staring into the empty space in front of him.
“Hello?” Tabitha waved her hand in his field of view. “You there?”
Eventually, Nikolay snapped out of his daze and focused back on Tabitha. “I just remembered something, that was all. Continue with what you were saying before.”
She shot him a curious look, but refrained from pressing further.
“Alright, so as I was saying before, the pawns…”
Throughout Tabitha’s instructions, Nikolay listened with rapt attention. He was visibly trying his best to avoid lapsing back into the state he was in before. Even though uncertainties and doubts lurked on the fringes of his thoughts, Nikolay drowned them out with the intent of learning all the intricacies of chess.
After playing a practice round with guidance, Tabitha set up the board again. While keeping her hands busy, she struck up a conversation.
“How did you and Raine end up travelling together? Not just a pleasant honeymoon in Aurelinne Village, if I had to guess?”
Nikolay deadpanned, “I thought you said this was supposed to take my worries away.”
“Oh, so you admit that it was about Raine?” Tabitha raised her eyebrows. “Anyway, if you can’t even get into the game, then there’s not much chance of it distracting you. Talking about it might help more."
Nikolay let out a sigh of defeat. “You asked about why Raine and I are travelling together, right? It was a set of unfortunate circumstances; we had no other choice.”
“Makes sense. And you’re still under whatever pressure is forcing you together? I won’t pry into your business. Don’t worry.”
He hesitated. “Not exactly. I had the chance to go on my separate path — I technically still do — but it seemed like a bad idea.”
Taken from Royal Road, this narrative should be reported if found on Amazon.
“You chose to stay with Raine? Awww, ain’t that cute?”
“I think… I had already decided a while ago. The time when Raine told me that I was human,” Nikolay looked down at his hands, refusing to make eye contact. “That was when I realised I would never find somebody else who believed in me like he did.”
Tabitha nodded. “Raine seems like he has the tendency to do that. Accidentally charm others with his unerring kindness, I mean.”
Instead of agreeing or refuting the statement, Nikolay frowned. “Are you talking about the person who was flirting with him last night?”
“Oh?” Tabitha’s eyebrows almost shot up to her hairline. “Didn’t know you were still thinking about that. You concerned?”
“No,” Nikolay quickly said. “I just thought that you were referring to it.”
A sly smile crept onto Tabitha’s face. “I knew you were jealous. Don’t worry, nobody can quite match up to your intensity.”
“That’s exactly the point. I can tell that he thinks of me as overbearing,” Nikolay muttered. “But I can’t do much else.”
Protecting him was the only way to atone for his actions.
The events that took place at the campfire haunted him every time he looked at Raine. It only worsened last night at the bar when Raine said that he had placed his trust in Nikolay when he drank that much wine. Even if Nikolay were to find himself falling in love with Raine, he didn’t deserve it at all. Raine needed somebody who wouldn’t shamelessly take advantage of him, somebody who could give him the support he needed.
And so, Nikolay would be more than happy to protect Raine from afar. Nothing more, nothing less.
“Are you sure?” Tabitha said with a sad, sympathetic smile. “Don’t you ever wish for something more?”
“As long as Raine is happy, I won’t wish for anything more. Check.”
Tabitha leant back and studied the board. She flicked her eyes up to Nikolay with an impassive expression. He had the feeling that she was studying him just as much as the chess pieces.
“And what if Raine thought otherwise?” she asked.
“I find it unproductive to discuss impossibilities,” Nikolay crossed his arms. “But in that situation, I still wouldn’t change my mind.”
“Even if he wanted you to?”
“Of course. If I changed my mind so easily, then I would no different from a customer who orders five rounds of alcohol, knowing that it will turn him into a slobbering, incoherent drunk. Just because somebody ‘wants’ something, it doesn’t necessarily mean that it is the right choice.”
He thought that his view was reasonable enough, but Tabitha erupted into laughter after hearing his words.
“Oh, that’s something,” she squeezed out amidst her laughs. “I don’t even know where to begin. Who are you to determine what’s the ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ choice? So many things are subjective, no matter how much you try to put it into those rigid definitions of yours.”
“W- Well…” Nikolay trailed off, derailed by Tabitha’s sharp accusations. “Just get yourself out of check first.”
Tabitha calmed down and stared at the board for a long time, before finally making a move with an exasperated huff. “You play so defensively. Half of the pieces are locked in position.”
“Is that a bad thing?” Nikolay replied, not caring about the answer.
“Yes! It’s annoying!” Tabitha exclaimed. “And on a more serious note, it means that you can’t move any of your pieces, either. I can’t launch an attack, but neither can you.”
“Perhaps going for a draw isn’t as bad as you make it out to be. After all, there’s no way a new player could beat somebody who has played chess with their bar’s patrons countless of times. Even if they were drunk and stumbling over their own feet.”
“You underestimate yourself. And the ability of a drunk man.”
Nonetheless, the next few moves were all positional rearrangements of their pieces.
Nikolay looked out the window with a frown. The sun had already sunk past the horizon, leaving the village doused in the faint glimmer of moonlight.
“Raine hasn’t come back yet,” Nikolay noted with concern. “The market should be closed by now.”
Tabitha gave him a reassuring smile. “You shouldn’t be worrying about Raine this much. It’s not good for you.”
“But what if he-”
“No, Nikolay. Preparing for every single bad outcome will only give you a headache,” Tabitha sternly scolded. “You’ve been getting away with it because nobody has been around to tell you off. Other than Raine, I’m sure.”
Her words carried the searing truth within them, facts that Nikolay had been hiding in the shadows from for as long as he could remember. Even still, he wasn’t nearly ready to face the evidence that Tabitha was right.
Just as Nikolay prepared to speak again, the door blew wide open and a person stumbled through.
“I’m back!” Raine announced breathlessly.
Nikolay immediately snapped his head towards Raine, then quickly glued his eyes back to the chess game in front of him.
“Welcome home, Raine!” Tabitha jovially shouted back.
“The cabinet in our room is empty,” Nikolay said calmly, his eyes still trained on the chessboard. “You can put those bags in there.”
“Got it,” Raine said, already on his way up the stairs.
Tabitha watched the scene unfold in front of her eyes in disbelief. “Nikolay, weren’t you concerned to death about him a few minutes ago?”
“No,” Nikolay muttered quietly. “I was just contemplating whether it would be necessary to search for him.”
“I can’t believe you two,” Tabitha sighed, shaking her head. “Hopeless, the lot of you.”
Nikolay didn’t react. “It’s your turn, Tabitha.”
She briefly flitted her eyes over the board, then almost immediately let out an even deeper sigh.
“Because you focused too much on your defensive position, you missed a royal fork,” Tabitha explained, moving her queen to seal the game’s fate. “And now, I can put you into checkmate. Guaranteed mate in 3 moves. Can you find it?”
Nikolay’s eyebrows furrowed together as he analysed the board. “…Yes, I can see it. The knights and rooks are all paralysed, so they can’t protect the king.”
“Good. Learn from your mistakes, or the consequences will come to bite you later. Why don’t you get ready for your shift tonight? I’ve got to set up and reopen the bar as well.”
Tabitha stood up and began packing up the chess set, a clear indicator that she wasn’t asking. With no other choice, Nikolay took the hint and walked upstairs to his shared room.
When he eased the door open, it let out a quiet creak.
Inside, Raine perked up at the sound and turned around with a smile.
“Hi Kolya! Look, I know I got back a little late, but there were so many things for sale in the markets. I even organised everything to perfection to make up for it, just like you always do.”
Raine paused, then not-so-discreetly kicked aside a stray plastic bag. “And also, I’m glad that you found yourself a new hobby with Tabitha. I remember the conversation we had a long time ago, about making this current life ‘yours’. So it’s good to see you finding yourself. The ‘you’ right now, I mean.”
Nikolay’s eyes darted towards the bags behind Raine. It was true; not a single item was out of place. If he hadn’t known any better, Nikolay would’ve thought that he himself organised the new items.
A sense of pride and affection shot straight through his heart. But just as quickly as the feeling had appeared, it was replaced by deep-set guilt. His conversation with Tabitha surfaced again, reminding him of the role that he was supposed to play.
“…I suppose so,” Nikolay muttered, casting his gaze elsewhere.
Raine shouldn’t have to worry about doing this much for Nikolay. In any case, it should’ve been Nikolay’s burden to carry.
In an instant, the smile on Raine’s face vanished. “Are you disappointed? Did I put something in the wrong spot?”
Nikolay’s already overwhelming guilt rose to even higher levels, threatening to spin out of control. He deceived Raine into believing he was at fault. What kind of self-proclaimed protector was he? No matter how hard he tried, it always ended up hurting Raine instead.
“You’re worth more than my opinion. Worth so much more,” Nikolay’s wavering voice cracked slightly. “So please don’t say that.”
Instinctively, he reached a hand up to comfort Raine.
He froze. A vision blazed through his mind: of campfire light, an empty wine bottle, bodies pressed up against each other. He hastily pulled his hand away.
Raine softly grabbed Nikolay’s hand and held it against his cheek. A spark passed between the skin upon contact, opening a channel for their minds to connect — a reminder of their shared past.
You can touch me. Please. I feel like there’s something wrong with me if you treat me as something poisonous.
At the desperate tone of Raine’s plea, Nikolay complied and dissolved into a hug. He buried his head into Raine’s shoulder — frankly; he wasn’t tall enough to do anything else, but he would rather die than admit it.
Nikolay felt the slow, rhythmic rise and fall of Raine’s chest, and the sound of his own heartbeat slowing down to match. Through the faint link between their thoughts, a warm and reassuring sensation lingered.
Said simply, it was nice. Time slowed to a sluggish crawl around them. Neither of them wanted to pull away, lest it shattered the fragile moment they shared.
Eventually, Nikolay spoke, his voice muffled by Raine’s shoulder. “I should go and shower for tonight’s shift.”
“You always smell like citrus, anyway. But go and shower.”