“Nikolay is…”

The guardian finally tore her eyes away from the display, the porcelain mask boring a hole into Raine as it stared into his soul.

“Dead,” she said with finality.

The word echoed inside his mind, the meaning repeatedly hammering itself in. Everything else faded away, as he could only focus on that single, damning word.

Dead. Nikolay was dead.

He shouldn’t have bet on his life so eagerly. What was he thinking? It was a stupid plan to begin with.

“That expression on your face makes up for everything you’ve done to piss me off,” the guardian said smugly. “Though, you’re lucky that illusions only last for as long as the light does.”

Raine shot a dark glare at her. “What is that supposed to mean?”

“Nikolay, unfortunately, isn’t dead. It’s adorable that you believed me, even though we just bet on whether my word could be trusted. Anyway…”

The girl waved her hand in a nondescript manner, and suddenly a necklace dropped straight onto Raine’s head. The surprisingly heavy chain thudded against his skull, a painful confirmation that it was indeed real. Quickly grabbing onto the object before it fell, Raine held it up for inspection. The pendant featured a yellow gem — topaz? — shining in the same strange way that its fellow artifacts and the illusions here did.

“There’s your precious Artifact of Time. Now I’ve upheld my end of the bet, and you’re free to leave,” she purred, pointing at a hallway behind Raine. “Just keep walking down that corridor.”

Leaving sounded nice, but he hadn’t come in alone.

“And where’s Nikolay? I need to find him.”

The guardian brought a hand to her chin thoughtfully, before clicking her fingers. “Oh, him. I almost forgot where I put the original one. You’ll find him, don’t worry. He’s probably found the mirror illusions by now.”

“Mirror illusions? You haven’t hurt him, have you?” Raine glowered, still thinking about her previous stunt.

“Physically? No. Mentally? Well, that depends on your dear partner. Now go, I’ve got a nice comfy bed waiting for me once you two leave. This waking dream was fun, but I’m beginning to get tired.”

If it weren’t for what had happened in the past few minutes, Raine would’ve wished her a pleasant slumber.

Instead, he chose to stalk his way out of the room, ignoring the sharp gaze of the masked girl as he — begrudgingly — followed her directions down the hallway.

—

Oblivious to Raine’s troubles, the other side of the temple kept Nikolay more than busy.

“Um… Excuse me, sir. I’m looking for my sister. Have you seen her?”

Nikolay looked down at the child in front of him. That hesitant, yet courageous demeanour, unsure of his ability but willing to risk it all for the sake of protecting those he loved — it brought him back to a time before the gods’ interference. Juvenile blue shards glittered around the kid, an undeveloped form of the bottomless magic that flowed within him.

The child spoke a tongue that no one had used in many, many centuries. An ancient language that even Nikolay had almost forgotten, buried under the burdens of many lives.

It took a while to remember how to respond, but once he opened his mouth, memories began rushing in like a crashing wave.

“No, I haven’t. She might be somewhere else.”

“But- But I’ve looked everywhere, and she isn’t here! Why can’t I find her?”

For some unknown reason, Nikolay continued to play along. “Is it possible that she could be at home? The last thing you would think to check is your own house.”

“Well… I don’t want to go back to the village just yet.”

“Why not?” He knew the answer to his question already, but Nikolay didn’t want to break the charade.

His bottom lip trembled, the words spilling out without room for taking a breath. “Everyone in the village treats me like I’m a hero, but I haven’t done anything yet. I get a bit scared when they tell me I’m going to save everyone, because what if I fail? What if I’m useless, and all this power goes to waste?”

Nikolay bent down to the child’s height, placing a hand on his shoulder. “I don’t have all the answers either, despite the number of years I’ve lived. But a piece of advice from one wanderer to another: Search for who you are, not what others believe you to be.”

If you discover this tale on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen. Please report the violation.

Although his gentle words comforted the boy enough to cease his incoming breakdown, it seemed like the true meaning hadn’t gotten across.

“I think… I get it? Um,” he cocked his head, uncertainty in his eyes. “Thank you for the advice, mister. I’m positive I’ll understand it when I’m a little older.”

Such a polite child. Since when did he become so blunt with his words?

“I believe it’s time for you to leave. Your family must be waiting for you.”

“Yes, it’s probably time for dinner. I... I should go.”

For his own sake, Nikolay had one more question to ask. “Before you leave, may I ask for your name?”

“It’s Nikolay Alekseev syn Sokolov. Mother tells me to always say my full name, because it’s important for when I’m engraved in history as a hero.”

The older man let out a heavy sigh. “Yes, that sounds like something she would say.”

Young Nikolay’s illusion dissipated into the air, leaving the current Nikolay with nothing but his thoughts and the reignited past.

He hadn’t thought about the events of his childhood for a long time. Partially because his memories had been withheld during his reincarnations, but more importantly, he wasn’t keen on renewing regrets.

The Temple of Light didn’t give him long to contemplate, as another figure burst out of the blurry and garbled mess of lights.

A young teenage girl stomped towards him, a finger pointing accusingly at his chest. Her blonde hair flared out from behind her, accentuating the furious expression on her face like a lion’s mane.

“You… you asshole! I can’t believe you-”

“Your younger brother is looking for you,” Nikolay cut her off, a betraying smile creeping onto his face. “I was just speaking to him.”

“Are you daft? Even though you look different now, I can recognise my little brother when I see him. Though,” she said reluctantly, “It’s nice to see you smiling again.”

“Don’t get sappy on me now.”

“Oh, alright. You want a mean sister instead? That’s what you’ll get. I’m BEYOND pissed at you. Not only do you risk your life to make a deal with the gods, but you live through all of these lives in… in absolute depravity! Did you ever stop to remember your own family, the people who were the first to love you?”

“I have always missed you, Dunya,” he honestly replied. “And I have always missed our family.”

“But you don’t actually miss our family, do you?” she accused. “You’re scared of not missing us. Of forgetting everything that we shared. With each year, decade, century that passes by, your image of us becomes blurrier and blurrier.”

Nikolay flinched instinctively. “I…”

Her face softened when she saw Nikolay’s reaction. “Kolya, I’m sorry. I went too far. I can see a lot of spirits behind you… Those are all the people who you failed to protect, am I right? No matter how much you claim to be the heartless leader of the Crown Guild, you carry far too much guilt for a human to handle.”

Nikolay averted his eyes from her. “It’s a good thing I’m not human anymore, then. The Kolya you knew is long dead.”

This came as a revelation to his sister, who mulled over his words for a long time. Her restless, energetic movements ground to a standstill as everything suddenly became much more serious than before.

“I’m happy for you,” she said at last.

Nikolay turned to her with a bemused face. “Now isn’t the time to be playing games, Dunya.”

“No, I really mean it. I can tell that you’ve changed for the better this time. As your older sister, I wholeheartedly can say that I’m proud of who you’ve become. Go on, live your life. It’s time my little brother finally experiences the freedom he’s always wanted.”

At a loss for words, Nikolay could only helplessly stare at his sister.

“Thank you,” he managed to blurt out belatedly.

Dunya’s illusion had already vanished into the air by the time he finished speaking.

Once again, the myriad of colours and swimming lights morphed into another familiar face.

When he realised who it was, a defeated sigh left Nikolay.

“I was expecting you to show up eventually,” he said simply.

The man shrugged, palms up. “If it’s any consolation, I’m not him. I’m a representation of your memory of Alexei.”

“That doesn’t make it any better.”

“You’re surprisingly cold towards me. We had a beautiful rhythm as the night and day, didn’t we? I quite enjoyed being your ‘shadow’, handling everything behind the scenes while you led the Crown Guild to victory.”

“If you really were based on Alexei, you wouldn’t be surprised at my reaction. I have a hard time believing that you’ve forgotten the way your knife twisted inside my chest.”

“Look, Kolya-”

Nikolay held up a hand, stopping the illusion from coming any closer. “Please. I’ve already severed ties with the past. I don’t want to reopen old wounds.”

“Can you really completely cut out something such a fundamental part of your being?” Alexei asked. “And if you do succeed, will you end up losing everything that makes you… yourself?”

“Starting anew has become a familiar routine of mine. While I bear the same name as the Nikolay from centuries ago, this vessel will lead a different path. I have new goals, new dreams, and new companions. The era of immortals and the Crown Guild is no more.”

Rather than being offended, Alexei nodded with a proud smile.

“…I see that you’ve already made your mind. Then, I have one last request for you. Close your eyes, Kolya.”

He obeyed without question. As his eyelids slid shut, the illusions and visual tricks of the temple ceased to exist in his perspective. The world fell away as he stood there, enveloped in nothing but all-encompassing darkness.

It felt… peaceful.

There was no indication to when he could open his eyes again, so Nikolay took the opportunity to enjoy the scarce tranquility while he could.

When his respite was interrupted, however, Nikolay was far from displeased.

“Hey, Kolya!” a jubilant voice called out. “I got the artifact. We can leave now.”

Nikolay opened his eyes. Standing in front of him was no longer the solemn night sky, but a shining star.

“It’s you,” he softly remarked. “Raine.”

Sensing the delicate atmosphere, Raine cautiously replied, “Yes, it’s me. The illusions are gone, now that the guardian is going back to sleep. She already gave me artifact, see?”

He held out the pendant for Nikolay to appreciate. While the dark brown eyes of his partner slid down to the object, the lingering anguish still in his gaze suggested that his attention was directed elsewhere.

“And since I have the artifact…” Raine led on, not wanting to sound too forceful.

Nikolay cleared his throat and blinked away the residual tears. “Yes, we should leave. This place is too far detached from reality for my tastes.”

In an effort to lift Nikolay’s spirits, Raine jokingly held out an arm for him to hold on to. “Shall we depart then, my dear Kolya?”

At first, Nikolay merely stared at the offered arm with a blank expression.

The edges of his mouth curled upwards slightly. “Fine.”