The Shrine of Restoration, as Irideis had called it, was strikingly similar to the ‘sacrificial’ shrine recommended by the sage. From the cracked pillars to the overgrown flora, it wasn’t a stretch to call it a carbon copy.
Naturally, both Raine and Nikolay were apprehensive about drawing close to the structure. Even Rascal shared this sentiment, judging from the way she slowed to a stop without any instruction.
If there’s another suspicious-looking bowl and knife in there…
I ascertain that we’ve learnt our lesson by now.
Thankfully, the gods seemed to heed Raine’s wishes. Instead of a caved in roof, the interior seemed fully intact.
The wide open entrance led them through a long hallway, lined with statues on either side. Each statue depicted a solemn guard standing with a sword in both hands, though the facial features differed ever so slightly from the next statue. Or perhaps, it was merely the variable effects of degradation on the stone.
Even though it seemed far less suspicious than the previous shrine, Raine couldn’t help but feel anxious while walking past the towering statues.
Have you ever seen those movies where the statues come to life?
I suppose you’re about to propose that it can happen in reality.
Well, I’m not the magic expert here.
The answer you’re looking for is ‘no’.
Thank god. Or gods, to be more accurate. Have I made that joke already?
Did you not hear me? Nikolay sighed. The statues won’t ‘come to life’. There’s no need to go on your anxiety-fuelled rants.
…Ouch.
The last thing he needed was a nightmare scenario coming to life. It was nice to relax a little in Veritas — barring the incident with the café waitress. But once they began exploring in the wilderness, it felt like anything could happen. Especially when it came to mysterious ‘shrines’ and ‘temples’ and ‘artifacts’.
To the relief of Raine, they reached the end of the hallway without a hitch.
After ascending a few stairs, a familiar colourless crystal greeted them. Just like last time, the crystal replaced a regular handle on the door.
Another one of these crystals? I didn’t realise that this shrine was connected to the prophecy.
Interesting, Nikolay merely hummed to himself.
Well, there was only one obvious thing left to do.
Bracing himself for the incoming shock this time, Raine lightly brushed his hand against the crystal.
Like last time, strange tendrils took hold of his consciousness. It might be a consequence of his compliance, but they seemed much less aggressive in comparison to his previous experience.
Once they confirmed whatever it was they needed, the tendrils withdrew from Raine. He expected for them to fully exit their mind afterwards, but then they latched onto Nikolay.
Wh- Me as well?! I have nothing to-
The tendril’s suffocating grip stifled the rest of Nikolay’s cries of indignation. Whether it was because of Nikolay’s strong disapproval, or some other divine reason, but the tendrils took much longer to scan — if that was even the right word — his consciousness.
Eventually, the tendrils retreated into the crystal, which faded into a glass-like appearance. In tandem, the floor began rumbling as four pillars rose around them.
Raine attempted to step outside of the box, only to run into an invisible wall.
Another trap? Seriously?
Nikolay barely began forming a response before they both fell unconscious.
—
<…>
<…>
—
Nikolay awoke first, in a body familiar to him.
However, the person next to him looked wholly unfamiliar.
The first thing that Nikolay noticed about Raine was the freckles that adorned the area beneath his eyes.
After a few long seconds, Raine finally stirred. He awoke in a body familiar, yet unfamiliar to himself.
Raine hazily looked around, saw Nikorai from a third person view, and then looked down at himself. An unfamiliar small circular scar was on his chest, directly above his heart. The scar didn’t completely register until he recalled the last time he was in his own body.
The bullet that caused this scar also happened to end his life several months ago. Strangely, it felt like years had passed since that incident. Dying should’ve been at least semi-traumatic, but Raine was… strangely indifferent about the situation.
He blinked a couple of times before slowly moving his hands in front of his vision. A slight — yet noticeable — delay stood between his thoughts and his actions.
With the help of the nearby wall, Raine slowly stood up on unsteady legs. Everything felt sluggish, like it took great effort to move just a small way.
A few more seconds passed before Raine registered the fact that he had zero clothes on.
“Oh, come on,” Raine groaned. “How come I’m the one who has to be naked?”
It seemed that Nikolay had already come to terms with their situation because he was intently staring at Raine. As soon as their eyes met, Nikolay quickly darted his gaze elsewhere, suddenly interested in the decorative shrine walls. Raine could have sworn that Nikolay’s eyes had lingered on a certain area, but he hastily chalked it up to his imagination.
“Your original body seems… functional,” Nikolay carefully said after a while.
Raine’s jaw dropped. At least, it would’ve, if his body didn’t feel like it was moving through molasses.
Did Nikolay always sound like that? In their telepathic conversations, neither of them really had a voice, so it was hard to tell. It was the same situation when they were speaking aloud as well, because it sounded different when they were hearing their own voice.
It was not the time to get tangled in technicalities, though. Because right now, the only thing running through Raine’s brain was: ‘Holy fuck, Nikolay’s voice is husky. And attractive as fuck’.
But obviously, he couldn’t say as much aloud.
“What a great compliment,” Raine replied sarcastically. “We need to find clothes before we walk out of here. I’m not getting arrested for public indecency.”
Nikolay undid the clasp on his cloak and slid it off his shoulders. He tossed the cloak to Raine, who caught it with a sigh.
“Prick. You could have handed it to me normally,” Raine muttered as he pulled the cloak over his shoulders and fastened the clasp.
Nikolay frowned and stepped forward to undo the clasp again. “That’s not covering anything if you wear it like that. Lift your arms up.”
Raine obliged, and Nikolay wrapped the cloak around his body like a makeshift dress. Somehow, Nikolay was able to secure the cloak-dress abomination with the clasp at the back. Raine lowered his arms as Nikolay stepped away.
Somewhat satisfied with the arrangement, Raine said in a teasing tone, “So you can be helpful sometimes.”
Nikolay looked away. “Believe it or not, I don’t want to see you naked, either. If your insecurities are now sufficiently covered, let’s leave.”
“Wait! Don’t you want to test your magic? It should work now that we’re separated, right?” Raine questioned.
“I already did. Humans can’t see magic,” Nikolay said, already walking towards the door. “And here’s your stupid ring, by the way.”
The artifact was carelessly flicked towards Raine, who just barely caught it with both hands. After shooting Nikolay a glare, he slowly slid it onto his index finger, anticipating the burn that he experienced last time. Thankfully, the ring stayed cool to the touch.
“It works, Nikol- oh.”
Raine stared at the aurora of light that wreathed Nikolay, twisting around him in translucent azure ribbons. It seemed to possess a life of its own, lazily contorting and swirling around Nikolay’s figure. The faint blue luminescence illuminated its surroundings, casting Nikolay’s face in an ethereal glow.
“Something on my face?” Nikolay asked, unaware of Raine’s newfound wonder.
Raine quickly snapped out of his reverie. “I can see your magic now. Probably because of the ring.”
“Great. Are you going to continue gawking at it for the rest of today?”
“I wasn’t ‘gawking’ at it, you fool,” Raine groaned.
“Sure,” Nikolay said, unconvinced. “I’ll suppress my magic, anyway. Can’t have you distracted more than you usually are.”
To Raine’s disappointment, the blue light that wreathed Nikolay quickly faded and disappeared.
Nikolay gestured towards the door. “Come on. The daylight won’t last forever.”
“I know,” Raine sighed, walking up to Nikolay.
Once they were standing side by side, Raine was internally pleased to see that he was taller than Nikolay. Not because he was someone who cared about height, but because he knew that Nikolay would probably beg to differ.
But as always, Nikolay betrayed none of his inner emotions. Being in separate bodies didn’t help with Raine’s ability to look past his unmoving exterior.
They met up with Rascal standing outside the shrine, who seemed pleased that they had encountered no problems. As usual, she greeted Nikolay with a warm nuzzle, and didn’t even spare a glance for Raine. Her behaviour would’ve been partially understandable — if not for the fact that Raine was now in a completely different body.
“She doesn’t even care that I’m here,” Raine sighed in defeat. “Isn’t she supposed to be alert around strangers?”
His impudence was rewarded with a menacing glare from Rascal, who clearly recognised Raine’s identity despite his new appearance.
Raine huffed. “We should get going, or whatever Nikolay likes to say when we’re running short on time.”
“If I didn’t say anything, we would still be in Marque,” Nikolay retorted.
Raine silently put his hands up in surrender. The last thing he wanted to do was invoke Nikolay’s wrath alongside Rascal’s.
With no other voiced complaints, they set off in the direction that they had come from. According to Nikolay a few days ago in their Veritas hotel, the detour to this shrine only connected to the main path at one intersection. This meant that they had to retrace their steps if they wanted to rejoin the major roads.
Before, they relied on obscure paths for their safety. However, with Nikolay’s full access to his magic, it was much more efficient if they stuck with the main path for the remainder of the journey.
It didn’t take long for their trek to be disrupted.
“Stop,” Nikolay murmured. “There’s somebody ahead.”
Naturally, Raine paused behind Nikolay. And somehow, Rascal seemed to understand Nikolay’s words too, because she stopped shortly after.
But despite how hard Raine swivelled his head, he couldn’t find the people that Nikolay mentioned. There were only a few trees scattered about, and otherwise rolling hills took up the rest of the scenery.
Just as Raine was about to ask Nikolay, a group of people appeared in sight after they rounded a sharp corner.
They all dressed rather ordinarily and unassumingly, and the exhausted expressions on their face were far from uncommon. However, the polished blades on their hips starkly contradicted the rest of their appearance.
Among the ambushers, one of them stood out like a shining beacon. Bright green magic swirled around his being, though it paled in comparison to the aurora that surrounded Nikolay earlier.
Raine quietly whispered, “Mercenaries? Or just some roadside bandits?”
“This is hardly a sightseeing area,” Nikolay replied in a similar tone. “It’s possible that they’re affiliated with the Order of Truth.”
Did you know this text is from a different site? Read the official version to support the creator.
The pair fell silent as they watched the suspicious group approach them menacingly. One of the subordinates squinted at them while he approached, and then recoiled in surprise.
“Two people? Boss, are we too late?” he loudly asked the sorcerer.
“Shit. If we hadn’t listened to that fake messenger and gone to the other cave... I swear, I’ll kill that white-haired rat if I see them again,” the ‘boss’ cursed under his breath.
White-haired? Raine and Nikolay glanced at each other, thinking the same thing. There couldn’t be that many people with white hair in this region.
“Hello?” Nikolay nonchalantly replied. “What are you here to do, exactly?”
If they weren’t being pinned by the hawk-like eyes of the sorcerer’s subordinates, Raine would’ve sharply elbowed Nikolay in the waist. Surely Nikolay recognised a dangerous situation when he saw it?
Based on the sorcerer’s reaction, he thought the same as Raine.
“Come on now, playing dumb is going to delay both of us,” he laughed. “Either you let us take your lives now, or you lose them in the agonising struggle when you refuse.”
The starkness of the sorcerer’s words was enough to cement his sincerity. And yet, Nikolay’s unbothered facial expression looked as though he was casually meandering through Veritas’ grocery store.
“A shame, really,” Nikolay shook his head. “That would’ve worked an hour ago, if that ‘white-haired rat’ hadn’t misdirected you.”
As he spoke, the blue light from earlier materialised in a bright flash. By the time Raine finished blinking, blue cords tightly wrapped around the sorcerer. The ensnared prey instinctively thrashed against his bindings, but the cords held steadfast.
“Playing dumb is going to delay both of us,” Nikolay said calmly. “Tell us everything you know about the Order of Truth.”
Instead of immediately responding, the sorcerer abruptly stopped struggling.
Nikolay frowned. “Something the matter?”
A raucous laugh erupted from the sorcerer’s throat, grating the ears of everybody within earshot.
“One small victory, and you think you’ve won the war, is it?”
The sorcerer’s green magic re-emerged as thousands of tiny needles. Moving as a swarm, the pinpricks of light pierced holes in Nikolay’s cords, easily shredding through the thick strands of blue light.
In less than a few seconds, the sorcerer stood unrestrained, with the tattered remains of Nikolay’s ropes strewn on the floor.
“Disappointing, really,” the sorcerer scoffed. “The fall from grace is truly a sobering experience.”
He turned to Raine, ignoring the stony silence radiating from Nikolay.
“Raine, you should’ve taken that deal with Guthasar when you had the chance. He merely wanted to bring a dangerous mass murderer under control. Besides, why would you want to continue with the prophecy? Does the prophecy not sound too cliché to you? We are called the Order of Truth for a reason.”
Raine stilled. “Mass murderer?”
His reaction didn’t feel out of place to him, but almost everybody in his vicinity stared at him like he was stupid. Except Nikolay, who was still facing their opponents.
“Looks like somebody’s been left in the dark. Listen, have you heard about the King of the Damned?” the leader asked.
The name sounded familiar. Where had he heard that? If he scoured his brain enough, he was partially sure that he’d read a book about it in the State Library. Ah, it came back to him now. The King of the Damned was the leader of the Crown Guild, the movement that was founded by sorcerers against the humans after they’d lost the war.
But why would this person bring it up now? Unless...
“His entire life's mission was to kill humans. Humans like you. And you’re travelling with him? You chose a cold-hearted, unashamed killer over Guthasar’s deal.”
Raine instantly whipped his head towards Nikolay, searching for an explanation. The man in question hadn’t moved an inch. Frustratingly, from Raine’s angle, Nikolay’s face was covered by his bangs.
“That’s not true!” Raine shouted to them. “Nikolay’s only killed immortals. Guthasar lied to you. Right, Nikolay?”
He was well aware of the pleading tone edging into his voice, but he didn’t care. As long as it made Nikolay react, respond, do something.
“Hey, Nikolay,” the leader taunted. “You’re not even going to apologise for covering up your past? Have the nerves to look your friend in the eyes, at least. Maybe he’ll be willing to concede with the number of innocent lives that you’ve carelessly slaughtered.”
His last words lingered in the air, leaving a bitter taste in Raine’s throat. Innumerable innocent lives. Slaughtered. And on a whim, it sounded like.
Then, Nikolay raised his right arm.
The azure light that Raine had perceived as calming became cold and uncaring, nothing more than an unfeeling weapon. Soft waves became sharp spikes, ready to serve their purpose.
And serve their purpose, they did.
The opposing sorcerer barely had a chance to react. His face still sported a smug expression, up until the moment it burst into a crimson firework.
Raine instinctively recoiled away, covering his face to avoid the gore in front of him.
But once he realised that none of the blood… or other ‘parts’ had hit him, Raine eventually gained the courage to look up. A thin blue shield covered himself and Nikolay, deflecting the blood. Unfortunately, it did little to cover the horrific sight in front of him.
Eager to look elsewhere, Raine finally glanced towards Nikolay.
He expected many different emotions on Nikolay’s face, but nothing prepared him for the truth.
The blankness in Nikolay’s expression was replaced by a sharp, cold gaze. It pierced through the sorcerer’s lackeys, evoking pure fear in their faces. Around them, it felt as if the temperature had dropped by several degrees — Raine had to stop himself from shivering.
“Leave.”
The command left Nikolay’s lips like calculative, merciless daggers. Even though he had said it in barely above a whisper, the words were just as threatening as his magic surrounding the lackeys.
More than willing to obey Nikolay’s command, the lackeys — still doused in the blood of their superior — scurried away off to a hidden side-path, away from Nikolay’s piercing eyes.
Suddenly, it all made sense. Everything about Nikolay.
The sorcerer had lost his life for speaking the truth about Nikolay’s past. He had done nothing wrong; he hadn’t even lifted a finger against them.
Raine’s terrified thoughts spun around itself, constantly running on a never-ending hamster wheel.
He didn’t even realise that he was standing close — too close for comfort — to Nikolay until the murderer himself turned towards him.
“Are you alright?” Nikolay softly asked.
In any other situation, Raine would’ve been touched. He would’ve gladly responded with a smile on his face.
But there was still something lingering behind Nikolay’s eyes. The remnants of his ruthless murder: a mask of cold indifference.
Nikolay lifted his left hand, palm upwards.
The last thing Raine wanted to do was to be near somebody who took lives on a whim.
He stumbled away from Nikolay, tripping over a rock in his haste.
Almost instinctively, Nikolay went to catch Raine from falling — but then pulled away just as quickly as he had moved.
Nikolay took several steps backwards until there were at least two metres between them.
And despite the distance, Raine couldn’t help but feel the gap between them was much, much larger.
They stood there facing each other, unmoving and unblinking, without saying a word. Because in all honesty, what was there to say? A myriad of hypothetical exchanges passed through Raine’s mind, and all of them ended terribly.
Eventually, though, he figured that saying anything would do.
“Why did you…”
No, that wasn’t right either. After all, this was hardly the first person Nikolay had killed. Did Nikolay even need a reason?
It unnerved Raine even more that he hadn’t denied any of the accusations.
“We should get off the mountain,” Nikolay eventually said.
His words were clipped and sharp, each syllable dropping like dead birds in the still air.
Without waiting for an acknowledgement — partially because it was absurd to expect one — Nikolay began walking down the stone path. He didn’t turn his head to check whether Raine was following him.
But if Raine hadn’t been so lost in thought, he might’ve noticed that Nikolay glanced at their reflection while passing a pool of water to confirm Raine’s presence.
The rest of their journey was just as awkward as it had started. Even Rascal understood the situation, because she quietly plodded along without asking for head pats from Nikolay. Save for the sounds of Rascal’s breathing, neither of them acknowledged the heavy tension in the air.
Suddenly, Nikolay stopped. He fixed his gaze on the left of the path, where a few neglected stone structures laid. Raine and Rascal both paused behind him, directing their gazes to match Nikolay’s implicit warning.
A head of white hair peeked out from behind a stone pillar. The seemingly devious motion was betrayed by the playful grin that popped out a few moments later.
“Oh, what a coincidence!” Irideis smirked. “Fancy meeting you two here.”
“Yes, I’m sure this is a complete surprise to you,” Nikolay said, unimpressed.
“Congratulations on your splitting. I was afraid you two were going to kill each other as soon as you were able to.”
Raine shivered as he recalled how Nikolay’s eyes were so heartless, merely looking on as he ended a life.
After all, Irideis’ prediction wasn’t far from the truth. Of all the things that could follow the separation, he wasn’t expecting that.
As astute as ever, Irideis seemed to note the dry reaction from their audience.
“Anyway, I’ve brought some clothes for Raine. Unless you’d rather look like a bizarre fashion statement?” Irideis gestured towards his current cloak-dress getup.
They held out a transparent bag filled with clothes. Judging from the size, it must’ve contained a decent number, more than enough for several days of travel.
“How would you know my size?” Raine asked sceptically, turning over the goods in his hands to inspect them.
“Let’s just call it magic, shall we?” Irideis winked. “Since we all believe that it exists now.”
Nikolay, who had stayed silent during the entire exchange, huffed in response.
Irideis raised their eyebrows, but paid it no mind. “There should be a private cave over there. I checked it for any inhabitants — animal or human — and it should be clear. If you run into trouble though… Ah, just scream or something. That should do the trick.”
Raine was pretty sure that the situation would already be beyond saving if he had to resort to screaming. Ignoring his doubts, Raine nodded and trudged his way over to where Irideis indicated.
Both Nikolay and Irideis silently watched Raine duck into the cave. The cave entrance was unmoving for quite some time before Irideis finally spoke.
“Are you going to continue brooding there in silence?” Irideis prompted. “We won’t have the opportunity to talk privately again for a while.”
Nikolay kept his eyes trained on the cave. “Simply being ‘limited-time’ does not determine an opportunity’s worth.”
“Hm? Is finally having a conversation without Raine unimportant to you? You haven’t been able to leave his side since you were stuck in the same vessel. That would’ve been quite a while ago.”
“There’s not much to say about him,” Nikolay replied, turning to Irideis. “He’s too compassionate, has a tendency to disobey people, likes to talk about nothing, cares too much about other’s opinions of him… But I suppose you didn’t ask me to hear my complaints.”
“You have no obligation to help Raine anymore, you know,” Irideis said. “If he bothers you that much, you can just stay here under my protection while Raine completes his duty.”
Judging from the way Nikolay’s eyes slightly widened, he hadn’t realised the situation until Irideis brought it to light.
He quickly composed himself and looked away. “I’ll seem like a coward if I back out now. Besides, I think that fool would get himself killed if I wasn’t there.”
Irideis only laughed at Nikolay’s poorly concealed loyalty. They refrained from pointing out that it was often Nikolay who made the bold, risky actions.
“The real question is…” Nikolay glanced over at Raine, who had finished and was walking back towards them. “Whether he would be willing to take me.”
“I’d wager that the answer isn’t what you would expect.”
“Hmph. A vague answer, as I expected.”
“Uncertainties make the world more interesting, would you not agree?”
Raine cocked his head, only just arriving at the scene. “Uncertainties? What were you two talking about?”
Nikolay, suddenly out of words to say, only crossed his arms.
Similarly, Irideis switched topics. “Since you both must be tired from travelling and undergoing the shrine’s inspection, I brought tents so you could immediately sleep. The nearest lodging is quite far away, if I recall correctly.”
With a wave of their hand, two tents shimmered into view. Perhaps Raine’s expectations for magic were too high, but it was a little disappointing to see that the tents weren’t unpacked.
But aside from that, there was one glaring issue.
“Why are there only two?” Raine squinted. “Are you going somewhere, Irideis?”
“Pfft, nice one,” Irideis laughed. “No, I’m taking one for myself. After all, I was the one who took the effort to bring the tents in the first place.”
Raine couldn’t stop himself from shooting Irideis a ‘seriously?’ look.
“Be glad I even carried one for you both. Otherwise, it would’ve been the grass,” Irideis scoffed lightheartedly. “You can’t seriously expect a weak person like me to carry three whole tents.”
And yet they carried two just fine… It didn’t seem like just a physical problem to Raine.
“I’ll sleep on the grass,” Nikolay said tersely. “Raine can have the tent.”
Irideis shook their head. “Nonsense. I’ll feel responsible if something happens to you because of my actions.”
They should’ve brought three tents if that was the case, but then again, it was asking a bit too much for Irideis to predict their sticky situation in advance.
“Well, I’ll be setting up my tent over there if you need me,” Irideis pointed to a set of hills. “You two have fun now.”
Raine was certain that Irideis knew everything that was going on, which made it much more infuriating when he had to watch them saunter away from an impending awkward situation.
—
The tent didn’t take long, to the surprise of nobody. Given how many times they had to put up a tent in the past few weeks, the motions were as simple as breathing. It took a moment to adjust to the fact that two separate people were doing the job, but the hurdle barely made a dent in their work.
The truly hard part came after they set up the tent.
Raine spoke first. “Look at me.”
Nikolay, with great effort, turned towards Raine.
Although Nikolay had only seen this face for the first time today, the person behind the physical body was all too familiar.
The expression on Raine’s face wasn’t particularly ‘furious’, but it couldn’t be considered ‘happy’, either. Like a dam holding back a reservoir of water, Raine’s anger was just barely contained by his self-control. It showed in his clenched teeth, the glint in his eyes, the barely noticeable furrow in his eyebrows.
“Yes?” Nikolay replied, feeling like a scolded child.
“Tell me about yourself.”
Had any stranger been in Nikolay’s place, Raine’s words would have sounded inviting.
But unfortunately, Nikolay knew him much better than any other human in Kosira. The tone of Raine’s words fell painfully flat, carrying none of the playful teasing usually directed towards Nikolay.
“The textbooks in the State Library…” Nikolay started. “They can only record a small portion of what transpired. No matter how detailed they claim to be, their blunt and analytical words can never encapsulate the emotions of everybody involved.”
Much like himself.
“So what actually happened, then?” Raine prompted with a frown.
“I was born after the original Revolt. Most of the sorcerers had already fled to Kosira by then. Within my village, there were only two sorcerer families. I need not go into detail about the discrimination that happened, as I am sure similar examples persist to this day. While life was hard, it was manageable. If nothing unexpected had happened, I would’ve gladly remained in the village until my dying breath. Of course, I wouldn’t be talking to you if that was the case.
“My magic manifested later than usual. To be frank, I remember thinking to myself, ‘Perhaps it would be better if I became a regular human’. But the gods find enjoyment in cruelty, and I woke up wielding far greater magic than previously seen before. My family thought it was a sign from the gods. Even I foolishly believed their words. Word of my power spread like a wildfire, regardless of the ears who heard it.
“No matter the time period, humans fear power in the hands of a few. Hmm, I suppose they fear power in the hands of anybody expect themselves. I was no exception to their loathing. One day, I returned to my home and found nothing but a blazing bonfire surrounded by villagers with torches. That was the first time I felt blood on my hands. With nothing to return to, I blindly ran into the woods.
“Shortly after, a friend directed me towards a budding sorcerer organisation that sought to uproot the human reign. You know this organisation as the Crown Guild. As to how I became the leader, I still cannot fully grasp the politics behind everything, even with several hundred years to contemplate it.“
Nikolay let out a heavy sigh. “And that should be everything. Albeit summarised, and slightly eroded from time.”
“Do you even feel guilty about anything?” Raine asked, the anger rising in his voice. “You just skipped over the countless people who you’ve killed. Several villagers in your home town died by your hand, and they barely received a single sentence.”
The accusation left Nikolay speechless. He didn’t even realise, let alone have an answer.
Regardless, Raine intended to push forward.
“And one more thing. The Crown Guild clearly disliked humans. You killed several humans when you were young. Do you still hate humans?“
"That was the Nikolay several hundred years ago. While we share the same name and memories, I have spent many more years surrounded by humans. I apologise for not realising the impact of my secrecy. After all, I know how much justice means to you.”
Raine shook his head. “You’re wrong. I never cared about justice. I don’t care if you’re guilty or innocent, if you deserve jail time or the death sentence. A courthouse deals in black and white, but the grey areas are where the truth lies. But you clearly never cared about the truth at all.”
He stopped and pinched the bridge of his nose in exhaustion.
After a few moments, Raine said, “I feel like neither of us is benefiting from this. It’s getting late. We should sleep.”
“I’ve ended countless lives by my hand, and even more indirectly through my actions. I know you won’t want to sleep anywhere near a murderer, so I’ll sleep outside,” Nikolay halted. “No, I suppose the thin tent walls won’t suffice as a defe-”
“Are you going to keep wallowing in your self-pity?” Raine harshly interrupted. “That’s the entire reason why you kept everything a secret, isn’t it? So tell me Nikolay, why am I seeing you repeat the same mistake?”
Nikolay, for perhaps the first time in his entire life, bowed his head in shame. “Sorry, Raine.”
“I only wanted you to be honest with me. To treat me like a companion, not like a fragile porcelain statue.”
“I’m sorry,” he repeated.
A desperate tone emerged in Nikolay’s voice, though it was only audible to himself. He could repeat the phrase over and over like a broken record, and it would still sound hollow and stilted.
No matter what I say, it’ll just feel like empty platitudes. So please, believe me.
But words left unsaid might as well have never been thought at all.
“I’m too tired to continue this,” Raine sighed. “Sleep wherever you want. I don’t care.”
To further reinstate his point, Raine stepped inside the tent and zipped the door closed.
Now Nikolay was alone in the dark night, with only his thoughts for company. The stars glittered in the sky, unbothered by the events that just transpired. Their exchange was hardly as heated as their previous arguments, and yet Nikolay felt a thousand times worse than usual.
Water, seemingly from nowhere, started running down his cheeks.
Which was strange, because it didn’t seem to be raining at all.