Vol-Drung held a long, ornate staff up in front of his eyes.

Inspecting it carefully.

He held it by the handle and spun it around in his four arms.

"It's been an eternity yet it feels as if it has never left my grip… good work Timus, I am very pleased." He said whilst he sat upon his throne.

His form, the mightiest it had been since his reawakening.

A hulking four armed purple mass of muscle.

With a red glow pouring out of the eye slits of his helmet.

"Thank you my lord. Zephiris, the Queen of the long desert was holding it safe and secure, awaiting your return." Timus responded, kneeling before the old god's throne.

"Ah the old queen lives? Good to know some of the old guards' fire was never doused." Vol Drung said.

"Yes my lord, very good. But… well…" Timus began.

"What is it, whelp!?" The god questioned impatiently.

"Well she was alive but this time there were… complications in obtaining the staff…"

"What? Complications? What happened Timus! I thought you had this all in order…" Vol-Drung questioned his disciple with a venomous voice.

"Well my lord… a few days ago…-

"Am I dreaming or is this heaven?" Hans awoke in the back of Bob Cornelius Junior's glider once again.

Except this time he was surrounded by dozens of bottles of booze and a myriad of narcotics.

"Well good morning fool. After seeing what you meant by bad sober, I figured I'd better buy myself some life insurance…" The hunter said as the Hynx jumped around the ship mischievously.

"Oh you're a good man oh hunter sir, bringer of joy!" Hans said jovially as he popped open a bottle and proceeded to skull it.

"Why not just leave me to die though? I'm curious old chum."

"Don't flatter yourself, I'm in a mess because of you and I need you to help me get out." Bob stated resolutely.

Hans duly paid attention yet the hunter continued.

"We need to get these crazy cult motherfuckers, well at least one of them and take them into custody, that way I'll be free to do as I please again, I can get rid of the both of you at the same time and I might even make some cash outta this…" Bob laid out the plan.

Hans grinned.

"Oh yeah? Whatcha need me for bub?" He said with a burp that smelt toxic.

"I need you to follow me and get sober when I say. Listen to me if you help me bring in one of these invaders, you might even get something out of this as well."

Hans coughed out his drink in amusement.

"Listen if you know what I've done you'd know there's no hope for me… but listen, keep me… adequately hydrated if you know what I mean… and I'll belt some baddies brains in for you, how does that sound? Who knows one of these guys might finally kill me…" Hans proposed before finishing his first bottle.

"Sounds a little grimm but works for me… listen I've gotten some intel from the underground.

There's been a sphere ship located in this system, Cater I." He said pointing to a waypoint on his hud.

"We'll head there, grab one of these creepy cultist fools and jet back to the capital, bing, bang boom." Bob said with vigour.

Hans, already half way through his next bottle nodded slowly.

"Sounds like a plan stan." He replied as he lounged back in his seat.

"Try to fly smoother this time… You're like a pigeon with a few feathers too few…"

A few hours later they were breaking into the atmosphere on the largest planet in the system, Juregae.

It orbited its two host stars in a unique figure eight.

This orbit kept it in an eternal day.

It was an ancient desert planet that seemed to have nothing of note on it when the conquistadors of the Conglomerate's early days passed through.

Eternal days that make it seem as if the planet had been stuck in the same moment forever.

Although it had never been thoroughly explored.

They landed near an oasis

The hunter had to resupply.

He opened the glider's cockpit pod and the slight desert breeze wafted through.

"Aggh too hot! Too hot, too hot, too hot. We have to get out of here now!" Hans complained while Bob disembarked the vessel.

"Quiet fool! We don't know what's out here!" He said as he landed in the sand and began to make his way to the alien canopy surrounding the oasis.

"Agh not you too!" Hans yelled after the Hynx as it jumped out and hopped from foot to foot, avoiding the scorching sand as it made its way to the shade of the trees.

"Either sit there and burn to a crisp or come on." Bob yelled back at the drunkard.

This tale has been unlawfully lifted without the author's consent. Report any appearances on Amazon.

Hans reluctantly jumped onto the hot sand and caught up to the others in the shadows at the canopy's edge.

The trio walked into the dense canopy.

After a while of walking and drunken gibberish, they made it to a small stream.

Bob went to fill up his water flask and to find some organic material to put into his nutrient materialiser.

Hans merely staggered about and then fell to a half slumber in the shallow end of the water.

The hynx hopped up into the trees and began to play about amongst the leaves.

Bob was in the middle of loading what seemed to be a red algae-like fungi into his materialiser when he noticed footprints around him in the mud, fresh ones at that.

"Hmmm…" he mumbled to himself as he perused his surroundings.

There was no sign of anything bigger than a bug moving in the area.

He also remembered how they did not see anything when they were walking to the stream.

Then the hynx found a strange looking, small, pink, star shaped fruit in amongst the trees and decided to eat it.

Suddenly, he fell out of the tree in a spasm and after a moment of sporadic shakes, flails and jerks, it morphed into a beastial, two metre tall, razor toothed, berserker version of itself.

Bob stood up in a confused panic to notice what looked like a red and white furred, raging gorilla.

He reached for his pistol but at that moment, over two dozen camouflaged bipedal, scaled, frilled neck creatures burst from their adaptive cover around the spring and ran around in a mad panic.

They screamed in a sort of high pitched yell over and over again as they ran about.

This only enraged the hynx who chased them and swiped at them where it could, but they were too fast.

Hans was still in a drunken daze on the spring side barely paying attention and Bob merely looked upon the spectacle in shock.

They all eventually dispersed into the surrounding scrub leaving fewer and fewer around the spring each second.

"What the hell…" suddenly, one of the formerly camouflaged, manic creatures ran to him, ripped his pistol from his grip and ran off into the jungle.

The Hynx jumped after it in a mad rush.

"Hey! That's my pistol fool!" The hunter dragged Hans with him as he ran off after the two.

They made it out to the opposite edge of the oasis.

The hynx had chased the humanoid chameleon out onto the hot desert sand where it hopped from foot to foot, screaming its head off whilst pointing the pistol at the hynx.

Its eyes were bloodshot and it rapidly changed colours every time it took its foot off the sand and planted the other one a moment later.

"What the hell is going on!" Hans yelled as he broke out of the scrub onto the sand, joining a very confused and out of breath Bob.

"You shut up! Hey! Freaky scale face! Don't shoot!"

Bob activated the universal translator on his eye glass hud.

"Stop! Stop! Predator! Leave me alone! Hot! Hot! Stop!" Was what the creature was screaming at the top of its lungs.

The Hynx merely laughed tyrannically and taunted the poor creature.

"Hey! Monkey! Leave that thing alone! And you! Drop my pistol!" Bob yelled out at the two creatures.

"Aghhh!" The creature screamed as the hynx's deep taunting laugh intensified.

"Hey, hey! No need to panic! We are not females. Monkey! Get back!" Hans spoke to the creature in its native tongue.

It seemed to calm it down somewhat.

"What the hell… you speak… whatever the hell that is?" Bob was astounded.

"I studied galactic anthropology back at the academy." Hans slurred out as he walked out and approached the creature in a slow, cautious and crouched walk.

"What are you?" Bob stood, staring after the drunken man with a stupefied expression.

"He's a Bronchean. They're a primitive species devolved from an ancient advanced space faring race. They degenerated into this when a major colony pod crash landed on an outer planet… this one apparently. The male of the species spends the majority of its life camouflaged in these oases, migrating whenever one dries out."

He continued approaching the creature, crouching and consoling it in its native tongue as he approached.

Bob and the hynx both looked at the man in bemusement.

"Alright then smart guy, why do they hide out their entire lives? And why are they so fucking neurotic?" Bob asked.

"You would be too if you knew what the females were like…" he said ominously as he continued to approach the creature.

Bob was quiet for a moment in an irritated bemusement.

"Whatever just get me my fucking pistol back."

"Calm down! I'm getting there." Hans slurred out as he stumbled forward, still drunk enough for the fumes around him to cause a mirage in the desert heat.

"It's okay… I'm friend… I'm friend… not predator… there we go… It's okay… now pistol, give, me…" Hans eventually got close enough to touch his nose to the frantic creature's snout and look it in the eye.

"Friend… friend… friend…" he said as his breathing slowed, he stopped hopping about and his colour switched to a stable greenr blue.

He handed Hans the pistol.

"I Jakaab… you?" He asked Hans his name after giving his own.

"I Hans, I friend." He said as he grabbed the pistol and threw it to Bob.

Hans noticed Jakaab looking at the hynx and Bob sceptically.

"They friend?" He asked.

Hans nodded and signalled for the others to nod as well.

"They friend yes." He said as they all slowly nodded.

Jakaab yelped out a greeting and waved at the two.

Everyone relaxed and regrouped.

Hans walked up to the hynx.

"Well, you're just full of surprises, ain't ya?" He said as drunkenly studied the hulking beast in front of him.

The Bronchean greeted Bob the same way Hans did him, putting his snout onto the man's nose.

"Man you smell like shit." Bob said in Galactic common.

Jakaab let out a chuckle.

Suddenly the ground began to rumble.

"Oh no…" Hans and Jakaab said simultaneously.

"Hans! What the hell is this?"