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Confessions of the Magpie Wizard
Book 3: Chapter 4 (Wherein Ms. Edwards Wears The Pants In This Relationship)

Book 3: Chapter 4 (Wherein Ms. Edwards Wears The Pants In This Relationship)

Mt. Gozaisho, Japan

Sunday, July 17th, 2050

It wasn’t too much longer until we neared our destination. Further up the slope of Mt. Gozaisho, I could make out the rundown remnants of the old ski lifts. The slopes had been abandoned to nature some time before, and only the peak lacked young growth forest. “It’s a waste,” I commented to Maggie. “This could be a lovely vacation spot, even with the Horde knocking at our doors.”

“You know how the Wizard Corps is,” she said as we pulled in at the split-level parking garage, barely contained bitterness in her voice. “They decided to take the old resort for their own and declared the rest off limits as a security measure. Never mind that there were plenty of buildings at ground level they could have repurposed, but they insisted on making this place remote. They’ll shut down luxuries that don’t hurt anybody while wasting materials that could help the war effort. This type of nonsense is why the Brotherhood must succeed.”

We were on the top level of the parking lot, and I got a clear look at our glass and steel destination. It was smaller than other human hospitals I’d seen. I estimated it might have had a hundred beds, all told. Then again, only one out of a thousand humans had the potential to be a wizard, so a dedicated wizard hospital up in the mountains wouldn’t need much capacity. “Speaking of security, how are we going to see Haru? I imagine terrorists don’t get visits from the public.”

“We aren’t terrorists. Haru is a political prisoner, if you please,” insisted Maggie.

“Right, I forgot. I still feel like I’m on the outside of the Holy Brotherhood, seeing how little you’ve told me.”

“That’s on purpose,” said Maggie. “You’ll earn your way into the circle of trust soon enough. Consider this your first test.”

Finally, some good news. Once I had the Holy Brotherhood as real allies, I could plan my great stroke that would regain my favor with the Grim Horde. “I imagine your insiders will smuggle us in?”

“It won’t be so straightforward,” she said, reaching for a satchel on the car’s back seat. “There are facial recognition cameras all over in there. They can’t ever know we were here. We’ll need a disguise.” She pulled out two matched sets of magical artifacts. I recognized the one as a translation earpiece made of enchanted whalebone, but the other was a mystery to me. The magic wand was fashioned from white oak and inscribed with magical runes. I gave it a quick scan. When I’d first arrived at the school, it would have been a complete mystery, but my months of classwork paid off.

“Oh, sensory distorting fabricata,” I said as I took them from her hands. “I imagine Mr. Lahlou made these for you? Is he one of the Holy Brothers?”

She snorted derisively. “He isn’t the only one in the school able to make a good fabricata. I’ll tell you right now he isn’t one of us. I wouldn’t want you exposing us with some veiled hint while you thought you were being so clever. Now, will some magic into it.”

I’d never used a disguise fabricata before, but I was very familiar with them. Haru had employed one to impersonate me during his attack on the Serving Wizard’s House. I felt an odd tingle run along my skin as the light around me distorted like a kaleidoscope. It all passed soon enough.

When a trim Japanese woman in a teal nurse’s uniform stared back at me in the car’s rearview mirror, I let out a high-pitched shriek. Far too high pitched.

“Oh, calm down,” replied the rich baritone of the doctor sitting next to me. A man who reminded me of an older Paul, if his bulk was fat instead of muscle, looked at me from the driver’s seat.

I glared at Maggie. “You gave me the wrong wand, you witch! Trade with me.”

She chuckled. “You know, I was considering it. Maybe next time, you should wait to have things handed to you. Here’s your ID, ‘Junko.’” She shoved the piece of plastic into my chest and stepped out of the car. I reluctantly followed suit. After a long stretch, she let out a pained groan. “I don’t suppose you can drive?”

“I can’t say I can,” I replied.

She turned away with a sigh. “Figures. All you’re good for is slinging spells and fighting. We’ll have to teach you at some point.”

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I looked down at my disguised self. Whoever had designed my cover had chosen a lovely young woman as the template. I told myself I wasn’t there to play around, but my curiosity got the better of me. I checked to see that Maggie was looking away and carefully reached up towards my chest.

“Those are nothing but light projections.”

My hands shot down to my sides. “I’m sure I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

She glanced over her shoulder. “I’m sure you don’t.”

I coughed into my hand. “L-let’s get going, shall we?”

Maggie snorted as she passed me. “Men.”

We strode across the parking lot. “Maggie…”

“It’s Russel for right now,” she replied. “Dr. Russel Martin. Now what is it, Nurse Kazushi?”

“For one thing, you’re enjoying yourself too much. For another, this disguise is never going to work! You’re walking like a fit, young woman in a skirt, not an overweight man in his forties.”

That brought her up short. “You do have a point for once. Alright, let’s practice a bit.”

“Or we could just switch,” I countered.

“This is better anyhow,” she said. “I know enough details of Dr. Martin’s life to cover for him. You just need to follow along and look cute.”

I let out a forlorn sigh. I knew she wasn’t going to budge. We coached each other a bit. I was glad my disguise had pants instead of a skirt, since it would have been difficult to simulate the restricted motion. Maggie had the opposite problem, and partway through the process she tore a slit up the side of her hidden skirt. It was strange to watch as the disguise fabricata tried to account for the discrepancy between her hands, her clothes and what lay underneath. It reminded me of a graphical glitch in one of Kiyo’s video games. Once she was done, though, the pants regained their normal shape.

We didn’t have too long to tarry, but after ten minutes of effort, we declared each other’s walks good enough and set out for the hospital. “We won’t need too much time,” said Maggie. “My Haru will cooperate.”

“How did you get these identities, anyhow? What happens if the real Junko and Russell come to visit?”

“They’re laymen of the Brotherhood,” she replied. “Not wizards, but true to the cause. They took the day off, but gave us our excuse. Now, hush and get into character. Don’t say anything, just nod and agree with anything I say.”

“Yes, doctor,” I chirped. Knowing her, she’d try to embarrass me somehow, but it was unavoidable at that point.

After a short elevator ride walk, we arrived at a security checkpoint just outside the main entrance. The pair of Japanese Self Defense Force soldiers tensed up as we approached, but the man on the left’s face cracked into a wide grin. “Good evening, Dr. Martin. I thought you were off duty. What brings you in?” The translation fabricata in my ear went to work, making the world look like a badly dubbed movie as his Japanese became English in my ear.

“The big wigs said it was some sort of emergency meeting. I can’t tell you what it’s about, since I don’t rightly know myself.” Maggie held up the badge, which passed the guard’s scanner with a pleasant beep. “It’s probably just some training video from HR or something.”

The soldier rolled his eyes. “Sounds like them.” He looked me over top to bottom with an interest that confused me, until I remembered my appearance. “Nurse Kazushi! I’d recognize you anywhere, but let’s see the card, please.”

“Yes, of course.” The card was accepted without comment.

My response was not. The other soldier’s eyebrow raised. “English, huh?”

I cursed my lack of Japanese knowledge. Kiyo had taught me a little, but it was still so much babble without the translator. “I have been taking an online course,” I said, trying to mimic Hiro’s accent on the occasions when he’d tried to use me to practice his English. “It said to use it as much as I… shall?” I threw in the error to sell the lie.

“That’s can, Junko,” said the first soldier. “Well, I won’t keep you two any longer.” He passed his own card over a reader on the door and we were in.

“And that, Nurse, is why I told you to stay quiet and look cute,” hissed Maggie. “Now follow me and look like you have somewhere very important to go.”

“Yes, Doctor,” I said. We strode through the waiting room and up a set of spiral stairs without garnering much notice. If you ever need to sneak in somewhere, acting like you belong is the real disguise magic.

She pulled a sheet of paper out of her breast pocket, a maneuver the disguise fabricata managed to make look natural. She silently weaved through a series of seemingly identical hallways before suddenly stopping. “Over there,” she whispered. “Look, but don’t be obvious.”

I followed her advice and glanced over. A bored security guard stood in front of one of the rooms.

“Stay here. I need to go see the head of security to get him relieved.”

“I imagine it isn’t because he’s doing a half-assed job.” He was a disinterested man with a mission he didn’t value. He looked asleep behind his eyes, even as he kept his head on a pivot. Another nurse came close enough that she could have touched him, had she chosen to. I’d seen the same expression on many a petulant orc on guard duty, and he didn’t have a taskmaster like me to whip him into shape.

She smirked at that. “No, we’re going to give the man a break and put somebody loyal to the cause on lookout for us.” She turned and left without another word.

As judgmental as I had been about the man’s lack of drive, I wasn’t entirely sure what I ought to do myself. So, I pulled out my phone and checked for messages. There hadn’t been any, which was good. It meant that Kiyo had found a way to stay occupied.

“Excuse me, Nurse?”

Blast smartphones! I’d been completely absorbed. I stashed it away and looked for the source of the voice. “Mag… Doctor, I wasn’t…” I went silent when I recognized the confused looking blonde standing to my side.

“Rose? What are you doing here?”