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Confessions of the Magpie Wizard
Book 2: Chapter 3 (Wherin Hiro Gets Too Swol For His Own Good)

Book 2: Chapter 3 (Wherin Hiro Gets Too Swol For His Own Good)

Chapter 3

Nagoya, Japan

Monday, June 5th, 2050

“Kiyo,” I said groggily as I forced myself awake. She’d stayed the night, so I was prepared to wake up with her pressed against me. The beds in the boys’ dorm hadn’t exactly been designed for two, so it was a tight fit. It was a good thing she was so slim.

“Mmph,” she groaned as she cuddled closer.

“Kiyo, it’s time to wake up. We need to meet up with Rose.”

“Nah.”

“Nah?”

“Too comfortable. I know I’m safe with you.”

“What does safe have to do with it?”

“I have some sleep to make up, after all those nightmares Saturday night.”

That was news to me. “You mentioned those. Did you have any last night?”

She shook her head. “No. I don’t have them when you’re there. I know if anything goes wrong, you’ll be there for me.”

I felt a very undevilish warmth spread through me. She was a fool for being so trusting, but it felt oddly nice to be so needed.

She had to spoil it right after, though. “I also know you care too much about me to kick me out of bed. So, I’ll just stay here.”

I chuckled at her nonsense. “We keep having this argument. You can’t just sleep in all the time. How did you ever wake up on your own?”

“Mariko took care of that sometimes. Usually I’d set an alarm. Now I’ve got you to do that for me.”

“So, I’m your alarm clock, am I?”

“Yeah, basically. It’s just one of the great things about you.”

I gave her a nudge. “Then let me do my job. Get up before we’re late. You always take longer anyway.”

Kiyo faced me and pouted. “It’s better now, since I have some spare clothes stashed in your closet. Gives us more time.”

“Yes, well, I wish you wouldn’t. What if someone sees them? It’d raise some awkward questions about why I have a girls’ uniform and gym clothes in there.”

She waved an arm in the direction of her black jacket and red tartan skirts hidden in my closet. “Just tell ‘em you’re a transvestite.”

I felt my brow furrow. “Oh, so it’s as simple as that, is it? And when they notice that they’re for someone half my size?”

“Tell them you’re new to crossdressing and don’t get how women’s sizes work yet,” she said matter-of-factly.

“You’ve certainly thought this through.” I couldn’t keep the sarcasm out of my voice. I studied my girlfriend incredulously. She was awfully dependent on me after just a few weeks of dating. It still struck me as so odd that she could entrust herself to someone like me. Then again, she didn’t know the real me at all. The Soren Marlowe she’d constructed in her mind was a much more decent chap than I was. There were times when I almost wished I was him, so I wouldn’t have to live in constant fear of discovery.

There were some advantages to being a devil, though. It meant I had no compunctions about playing dirty. I freed my right arm from her embrace. It was hard to do spellcasting Position Fifteen while she was laying on my off hand, but I managed it. I willed the magic within me to coalesce around my freed hand, and it sparked to life in swirl of layered discs full of runic symbols.

“Ice Spear,” I whispered to myself. The carrot-sized icicle came out a bit misshapen. Instead of the normal, conical projectile, it was wavy and lopsided, since my fingers hadn’t been quite in the right arrangement. However, it would suffice for my purposes. “You have until the count of three to get up before I take drastic measures.”

“Nah.”

Normally, I found her insolence adorable. However, I was accustomed to being obeyed. So, I cheated. “Three!” In one smooth motion, the icicle vanished down the back of her flannel pajamas.

I can still hear that shriek now. A decent man wouldn’t have laughed quite so hard when she scowled at me. Frankly, I deserved that slap.

She didn’t say another word to me until we were riding down the elevator towards the school’s main gymnasium. “You’re a jerk, Magpie.”

“Well, I am your alarm clock. I was just doing my job.”

She looked up at me passively. “Does your cheek still hurt?”

“A bit,” I lied. After feeling the lash from skilled practitioners of the arts of torture, a hundred-pound girl’s slap wasn’t going to do much to me.

“Good.”

“My, aren’t we feeling vengeful this morning?”

“You don’t get how cold that was.” She eyed me thoughtfully. “Hm. Your cheek is still red. Lean over.” I played along and she kissed my earlobe. “There, now we’re even.”

“That still isn’t my fetish,” I said. There had been a few miscommunications early on and she’d gotten the idea into her head, and she still “indulged” me occasionally.

“Well yeah, but now it’s our inside joke, which is better than a fetish.”

The elevator dinged and we stepped out into the school’s oversized exercise room. Most of the facilities in the school would have sufficed for a student body for thousands, instead of the hundreds we had. It all seemed like a boondoggle to me, but it meant I had a good deal of privacy, which made my life easier.

We weren’t alone, though. I saw Hiro and a shorter figure off in the corner, doing Our Father Below knew what. I was much more interested in the blonde figure jogging away on one of the treadmills. I’ll admit that my eyes may have lingered a bit too long down below, but frankly, the inveterate runner had worked hard on those legs. It would be a shame not to admire them occasionally.

I pulled my eyes up and hopped onto the machine next to her. Kiyo joined me on the other side, though with much less enthusiasm. “Morning, Rose.”

Her freckled face was already flush from her exertions, but she turned a shade deeper from the surprise. “Oh, good morning, Magpie, Kiyo.”

“You sound way too happy for this time of the morning,” Kiyo groused as she tapped a few buttons on the treadmill and went to work.

Rose giggled. “You’ve only been doing it a few weeks. It’ll get easier over time.”

“That’s what they always say about running,” she panted.

“I assure you, it does get better.” I’d spent years on campaign as a Captain of the Grim Horde, so I had adjusted to morning torture with Rose fairly quickly. “So, Rose, anything interesting to report?”

Rose was an inveterate chatterbox, so it was usually a bad idea to ask her open ended questions like that. However, it was a ploy to slow her down and let me feel like I was at least able to approach her pace during these morning workouts. She’d been running for so long that she could keep up a pretty steady patter while I struggled to keep up.

She was never short on material, either. The British wizard had a large family, and she loved to tell where her brother Albert was stationed or how her parents were doing in the refugee housing in North Ireland. If I’d had a mind to, I could have probably learned interesting things about the Anti-Demonic League’s defenses for my eventual report to the Grim Horde. However, that would have required paying close attention to the other details that weren’t terribly interesting. I’d never met her family, so they were abstract names and nothing more.

The narrative has been taken without permission. Report any sightings.

There was still a part of me that took a wicked delight in just how free and open she was with one of the devils who had destroyed her home. However, she was a useful friend, even if I’d blown any chance at romancing her, since she’d demanded a loyalty I couldn’t give her. Ah well. Kiyo was enough to keep me entertained.

Rose finally interrupted her blather. “But listen to me go on. What have you been up to? Are you two lovebirds still getting on?”

“I wouldn’t… go running… for anyone but Magpie…” Kiyo hadn’t been at it long, but she already looked fit to faint.

Rose had taken the news of Kiyo’s spying better than most would have, and had insisted that they were going to be great friends, since Kiyo had learned things she’d only let a friend know. However, at a level, these morning exercises were still a punishment for the couch potato, and I could see that Rose enjoyed Kiyo’s misery a touch too much. “You should be grateful that I blackmailed you into this! You’re doing much better than when we started. All of those video games aren’t healthy. This is going to add years to your life.”

“Yeah, but I have to... wake up every morning,” she wheezed. “That isn’t… living. Quality over quantity.”

From the look on Rose’s face, you’d think that Kiyo had insulted her mother. “We’ll fix you sooner or later. Now get moving! If you have air to talk, you have air to run.”

“Save me, Magpie,” she said plaintively.

“Sorry, out of my hands. Rose outranks me on these runs.”

“Darn right,” Rose said with a smirk.

We went back to running in earnest, but honestly, it was damn boring. Even Rose had exhausted her topics. My eyes wandered, and I paid attention to what Hiro was doing. When the most interesting thing going on was Takehara, I knew I was hard up for entertainment.

I finally recognized the man with him as the portly Headmaster Tachibana. He had taken young Mr. Takehara under his wing for special training, but it was the first time I’d seen them in action. Apparently training for Hiro’s out of control affinity involved heavy weights and squats. It seemed foolhardy to me. He was already monstrously strong for his size, as I’d learned in an ill-fated training duel. More power wasn’t going to help his control. I felt a pang of jealousy at the sheer weight he was lifting. It made me understand how Kiyo felt about her running speed.

After a few minutes, he dropped the barbells and listened to the Headmaster. I couldn’t make any of it out. Hiro gave the Headmaster a thumbs up and focused. Hiro’s Immortal Form went to work, and the air around him began to shimmer like the pavement on a hot day. Then, it stopped, only to start again. He was flexing it off and on. I supposed he was trying to work it like a muscle. I wondered how long he could maintain it. In my experience, he could only use it in short bursts without losing control or passing out.

I got my answer soon enough when he wavered in place and pitched backwards. My body was already acting before I was aware of it. My whims could be oddly heroic when they wanted to be.

“Svalinn’s Mercy,” I shouted, magical runes springing to life around my hands. The energy barrier, normally designed to block attacks, snapped into place directly behind his shoulder blades, stopping him in place. I’d stumbled back myself as the treadmill’s momentum carried me off.

Kiyo had apparently forgotten her exhaustion and hopped down to steady me. “Are you alright?”

I took a moment to recover my breath. I gave her a confident smirk. “You should worry about Takehara. I could cast that spell all day.” We wordlessly agreed to go check on the fallen student. Not that I cared for him, but my quick thinking was bound to have earned me some brownie points with the everyone involved. It’s more fun to play the hero than to be one.

Headmaster Tachibana had already lowered Hiro to the floor, and was fanning his bright red face with his bowler hat. Tachibana normally wore fine suits, and I couldn’t help but smirk at the sight of him in the threadbare, undersized sweatshirt with his normal hat. He spared me a glance. “That was some very quick casting, Mr. Marlowe.”

I scratched the back of my head, feeling oddly joyful about the praise. It was one of those moments when I really did feel like the human Soren Marlowe. “Just glad I could help my friend out, sir.” That was a dirty lie, but I had a role to play.

“He’s not out of the woods yet. Ms. Jones, go get a nurse.”

“Right, Headmaster,” said Kiyo. I’m sure she was glad for the excuse to get away. She was never great at dealing with harsh situations.

Hiro’s eyes fluttered open and he let out a groan. “Nurse? No, I don’t need a nurse, Headmaster.”

“Nonsense. You passed out again.”

Hiro tried to wave it off, but he slumped back down when he failed to lever himself up. “I just need a drink.”

“You told me you were feeling better after you fainted yesterday,” said Tachibana. Hiro looked down shamefacedly. “I understand that you’re frustrated with your progress, but hurting yourself isn’t going to do anybody any good.”

“Can’t be frustrated with progress when there’s no progress to be frustrated about,” he snapped.

Tachibana raised an eyebrow. “Pardon me?”

Hiro’s eyes widened. “Headmaster, I didn’t mean it like that.”

“So, he’s human after all,” I muttered to myself.

Rose knelt down next to him and took his hand. “Hiro, I know exactly how you feel. I struggled for so long to get my Stormbringer affinity under control. I still slip up sometimes. I’m sure you’ll get it.”

Hiro fixed the blonde with a glare that made her flinch. His face softened once he realized what he had done. “Sorry. I just keep hearing the same words over and over again from people.” He took a deep breath, and as though by magic, his normally cheerful countenance snapped back into place. “Don’t worry about me, though. You’re right, I’ll get it, sooner or later.”

I know a lie when I see it. My people are masters of the craft, after all. However, I didn’t see any benefit in pointing that out.

Not when Headmaster Tachibana was willing to do it for me. “You’re more than welcome to feel frustrated, Hiro. Nobody’s going to fault you for being a little down. However, you may have had a point when you were being honest before. I think it’s time to admit that our progress has stagnated.”

Hiro’s face fell, though he managed to keep up the mask that time. “I need them, though. I couldn’t even activate Immortal Form at all without passing out when I first got here.”

The heavyset teacher shook his head. “True enough. However, I think that raw strength training isn’t doing the trick anymore.”

“You’re giving up on me?”

“You can’t do that to him,” interjected Rose before Tachibana could even reply. “If I can get over my block, then anyone can!”

Tachibana chuckled. “It’s wonderful that you’re all so quick to defend each other, but how about letting me speak before you jump down my throat?” Rose looked away shamefacedly and backed away from Hiro. The teacher put out a hand, which Hiro took shakily. “I’m not turning you away. I’m just going to find you a more useful method.”

“Which is?”

“You’ll find out right after I do, Mr. Takehara,” he said with warm grin. “Ah good, Ms. Jones is back.”

Kiyo was dragging along a slim nurse in her early middle age. “Right over here, Ms. Serizawa!”

The nurse let out a long, ragged sigh. “Mr. Takehara! How did I know it was going to be you?”

“Because I told you,” said Kiyo matter-of-factly.

The nurse gave Kiyo a confused looking before sighing and running a hand through her greying hair. “I mean, I knew it was him as soon as you came in the door.” Ms. Serizawa ignored Kiyo’s embarrassed blush, handed Hiro a bottle of water and started casting some sort of diagnostic spell. My Mimic affinity immediately copied the spell, though damned if I knew what it did.

The Headmaster made a shooing motion at the rest of us. “Thank you all for your help, but we have it from here. You need to go get ready for class.”

Rose hesitated. She had still been squatted down next to Hiro. “Hiro, just remember that you aren’t alone. Alright?”

Hiro nodded. “Thanks, Rose. You too, Soren.”

Once we were walking back to the elevator, I said, “He’s not alone, is he? Couldn’t be with me, so you’re settling for Takehara?”

Most people would have been offended. Rose, though, was my friend for a reason. “Rats, you got me. I’ve been in love with him since the first moment I spotted him. I didn’t turn you down because you were disloyal, but because I was.”

I chuckled. “Knowing him, that wouldn’t be shocking. He’s just barely good enough for you, though Mariko’s going to poison the next crumpet she makes you if he takes you up on it.”

Rose smirked at that. “I’ll keep that in mind. Though, I think that’s the nicest I’ve ever seen you be to him all in a row. You’re usually harsher on him.”

“That’s ‘cause he was jealous that I used to like Hiro. He can relax now that we’re together.” Kiyo goosed my hand to emphasize the point.

“I think that’s reason enough. Plus, he’s usually just so damn… I mean, darn cheerful.” It was hard not to slip up occasionally. References to damnation and Hell were severely frowned upon in a world where the Grim Horde ruled. It was a taboo that wasn’t worth violating, even in friendly company. The look on Rose’s face at the near miss was scandalized. “When he’s being miserable like this, he isn’t quite so cloying.”

Rose nodded. “Well, keep it up. He doesn’t need more problems. Having your magic run out of control is miserable. The poor boy doesn’t have someone like you helping him out like I did.” She raised an eyebrow at me. “Wait, why doesn’t he have someone like you helping him out? You are his friend, after all.”

My stomach knotted up. I’d been willing to help Rose out for a shot at some romance with her, which I have never wanted with Hiro. “Well, for one, he never asked. I wouldn’t want to insult his pride as a man by forcing my help on him.”

Rose rolled her eyes. “Boys. I swear, you can be so stubborn.”

“It would be easier if he could use his powers better,” said Kiyo. “Could you try? He is my oldest friend.”

Damn those sad, brown eyes. “I don’t know if what I told Rose will help. I told her to let loose. He lets loose and he passed out.”

“That’s a dodge,” said Rose. “Is that a yes or no? Please say yes. I’m just as tired of seeing him miserable as you are. It’s depressing to see him work so hard while we’re running. It just makes me depressed.”

“I mean, I’m already depressed when we’re running,” said Kiyo.

“You’ll love it as much as I do soon.” Rose gave her hair a playful tousle, which I knew Kiyo hated intensely. She stayed sullenly quiet, though. “You get those endorphins going through your vein and you’ll never want to stop.”

Kiyo looked at Rose incredulously. “Wait, you like running? I thought you just did it to stay in shape.”

“Is it so hard to believe?”

“Yes,” Kiyo said flatly. “Between you and Magpie, I’m starting to think that British people are crazy.”

Rose gave me a wink. “Well, she’s half right.”

Back home, that would have been an invitation to a duel. At the school, it required a different sort of jousting. “Admitting it is the first step to solving the problem, Ms. Cooper.”

Rose giggled. “And it’s so refreshing that you’re being so open about it, Mr. Marlowe!”

“Yes, open to the sad reality right in front of me. It would be a women’s size 4 straightjacket for you, right?”

We kept that back and forth going as we rode up the elevator, up until we arrived at the floor for the women’s dorms.

“Yup. British people are crazy.” Kiyo nodded sagely, as though she’d just uncovered a great secret of the universe. It was her way to latch onto odd ideas, and I decided not to object, since it wasn’t really my national honor at stake.

Then again, considering who I was about to encounter, I wonder if she didn’t have a point.