Part 9 - The Customer is Always Wright

The customer with the air purifier brushed back his thick, brown hair. He smiled and inquired, “Want I should rewind and dial back again?” He nudged a shoulder on the edge of the counter.

Unintentionally, Korri brushed back a bit of her hair too and adjusted her scrunchie. She shook her head and answered, “No. It’s fine. Could I see your receipt?”

Dee found his customer not nearly so cordial. He poked the counter with his finger as he spoke, “I am disgusted with this establishment. Its products have caused me extreme and undue harm and distress! I am distressed!”

Dee let a long breath go. He reached over to tap the laminated piece of paper. The customer flailed his arms, as though a hornet was attacking him. “I don’t want any of that…horse pucky! I got it over the phone! I’m so sick of it!”

The air purifier customer, as he drew out his receipt, remarked quietly, “I always thought this place was cool…” He turned to Korri to finish the statement with a smile.

The blender customer either didn’t hear or didn’t care. Dee soon asked for his receipt, which only earned a further blast from him. Still, he soon produced the receipt and smacked it on the counter. He held it down with his fingers pinning it, adding, “But I’m not letting this out of my grasp.”

Dee shrugged and leaned over to read around his fingers. It gave the customer’s name as…just “Hargrove”.

Korri’s receipt also contained just a one-word name.

“Bruce?” She looked up from the receipt to the customer, who gave a cheeky grin as she read the name.

He responded, with girlish-sounding delight, “It’s like more of a nick…but it’s cool. I cut through the water like a total shark. Not thinking…but knowing. You know?” He tapped his head for emphasis.

Hargrove mashed his hand to his head and looked like he was threatening to tear out what little hair he had left on his head. The cell phone customer leaned back and waited.

Dee released his tenuous grasp on the receipt after reading it thoroughly. He flipped through the catalog and settled on the expected page. Calmly, he inquired, “Did the product not work properly for the prank?”

Hargrove tightened his fingers and moved the blender box. Something rattled around inside. He glared at Dee with an unobstructed view. Bruce turned his head out of curiosity as Korri scooted over for the catalog. With a turn of his arm, Dee passed it to Korri, who immediately began her search.

His face reddening, Hargrove unleashed the words, “This is serious! This product should be illegal.”

Dee set his back straight, rested his hands evenly, and said, without a note of anger, “Sir, this product is a class-5-rated nanotech product. It is incapable of long-term effects. Mental effects are minimal and pre-set with rigid regulatory laws for quality and programming as defined by the Nanotech Control Act of 2002.”

Bruce raised his eyebrows and remarked to Korri, “Your cohort is most wise and righteous…” Korri paused in her skimming only to smile. After a moment, she tracked down the right listing. She read carefully as Bruce craned his neck over the counter and gently tapped his fingers on the air purifier like an oddly-shaped drum.

It was a calming melody over the barely-coherent growl-hissing of Hargrove as he ripped apart Dee’s answer as, “Bullshit!” Dee took it in dispassionate stride.

Hargrove launched, “If you think it’s so…then you drink from it! In fact, I demand it!” Dee flicked a look at the box. Hargrove yanked the blender out and pressed it on the counter. It was empty but stained with drying fruit pulp.

Dee remarked, “Drink what?”

Hargrove shot, “I brought fruit!”

He upturned the box and oranges and bananas spilled out. One orange rolled away to hide in a corner but most settled on the counter and at Hargrove’s feet.

Dee noted, with his eyebrows raised, “You brought fruit…”

With full, angry enthusiasm, Hargrove said, “Then you’ll see how dangerous this machine really is!”

Bruce took a step away and shook his head. He smiled to the wall then down at Korri as he professed, “Chill…is like the perfect state of mind. The Dalai Lama would agree. Just…like laugh with friends…laugh with anyone. Just chill…”

Korri absorbed his words. He grinned and asked, “You know what Dalai Lama means?”

Korri paused a moment but shook her head. Bruce answered, with his head gently-rocking as though it were trying to balance on a wave, “Ocean of wisdom. And I know the ocean is the most awesome teacher of wisdom…with all due respect to the Lama.”

With a little bob of her head too, Korri answered back, “Cool.” Then, she cleared her throat and announced, “I have all the information about the item. Could you tell me more about how you…first got it?”

Before Hargrove could begin jamming fruit into the blender, Dee asked him the same. Still, he tore at the skin of the oranges as he explained, “I was betrayed!” He elaborated on that by saying that a “female coworker” spun a web of deceit which ended in him buying this blender for her. Dee’s lips only betrayed the faintest smile. Fortunately, Hargrove was too worked up to notice.

He fanned his hands as he explained that he made juice for the same coworker as she was “present” in his “private office”. However, he wound up drinking it. Hargrove retched that what happened next was “unspeakable”.

The tale has been illicitly lifted; should you spot it on Amazon, report the violation.

By comparison, Bruce’s background was rather simple.

He’d always been plagued by allergies. Cleaning was incessant. So, he bought an air-filter, understanding that there was a gender-change element. He reiterated what he’d said to Korri at first. It was a fine product but the changes were mounting.

Korri referred back to the catalog and noted, “The changes are temporary.”

Bruce nodded. “I figured. I mean it would’ve said something on the side, right?”

Korri nodded back and added, “It has state-save nanites. The stronger the airflow…the greater the effects. You turn it off and the state-save nanites…under their own power… undo the physical changes over a few hours.”

Bruce scratched his cheek and asked, “So…if I don’t turn it on for the rest of the day…my voice will go back to normal?” Korri confirmed and added, “This should be in the directions but this maker is notorious for keeping all that a surprise. I’ve sold some of their stuff before. They’re benign but kinda like ‘being a woman is a mind-opening experience’ in their philosophy. They’ll put temporary changes into all sorts of products. At least they’re not Nuhaizi Corp.”

Bruce chewed on his lip and said, “I admit…I dig the filter. It’s made my life like ‘ahh’. It’s kinda trippy to sound like this but I never was too agro and possessive about my facial hair. And I admit I’m kinda ‘hmmm’ how it’ll go on full. Will I be a chick for a few hours?”

Korri looked down and answered back, “If the nanites are fully-active for many hours…they’ll fully clean an entire house and change one person in the house. It also provides a…fresh ocean smell.”

Bruce chuckled. “It sounds all sorts of swell if you don’t go ape over a change of being. So, how does it feel being turned into a total babe?”

Korri’s back straightened. She stammered and Bruce smirked. He gave a little wave and explained, “Just a guess. No stress. Am I right?”

A nod followed Korri quietly swallowing.

On the other side of the counter, Dee’s patience was wearing thin as Hargrove wrapped himself up in an endless digression that involved the shameless deregulation of nanotech for products and the immorality of gender changes before coming back around to his experience.

“I was disgraced! I was turned into something…unnatural. The fact that a company can make a profit from such is a shame. Well! I’m just glad I’m seeing so many returns to bleed this place out of business!”

Dee interjected softly, “Returns have dwindled in recent months and account for a tiny fraction of the overall company budget.”

Hargrove shot out a finger. “And how do you know that!”

Dee stared down the finger. “I work here. I care about this store and I don’t waste my time on pursuing self-gratification when a…coworker tries to do something to me…no matter their reasons.” Korri glanced at Dee. He looked gently calm.

With his whole body shaking, Hargrove tore open the fruit and slammed it into the blender. He flew about. He shoved the plug into the wall. The other customer scooted his chair away cautiously.

Hargrove willed the fruit to blend. When it was mixed, he threw off the top and aimed the pitcher at Dee. Korri knew what Dee would do. She could see his next actions in her mind.

She felt stunned as Dee accepted the mixture from Hargrove and took a generous sip. Her shock kept ringing as Bruce gave a little wave in front of her eyes to break the trance. She wanted to relate to Bruce her experience but she couldn’t break herself from the possibility that the one man who seemed he would never be changed…was about to get his first transformation.

Moments passed.

Hargrove showed his teeth and stared down at his watch. He looked between it and Dee. His impatience grew. He urged Dee, “Drink the rest!” With a sigh, Dee set the pitcher back on the blender and told Hargrove, “It won’t work on me. Wanna know why? Because you bought it. It’s encoded to you. That’s part of the prank. You may have intended to use it on others, but it will only ever work on you.”

His teeth showing even more, Hargrove shook his head. He seized the pitcher, intent on showing this little nothing clerk that he was wrong.

He drained the last of the mixture.

Moments passed.

Hargrove seemed ready to say something. Then he gave a loud and rippling belch. He swooned and put a hand out to steady himself against the counter. Dee leaned back in his chair. Everyone turned to watch as his suit brightened into a pink outfit with purple flowers across it.

The sleeves and pants flowed inwards. His pants fanned out like the bottom of a dress and his sleeves vanished to reveal a thick strap on his bare shoulder. Already, his skin was smooth and he was shrinking several inches.

Shock barely had time to register on his features. Dark hair spilled past his shoulders. His bust shaded over the top of his dress. His body flowed within the garment. With a quick gasp, the new woman, who looked to be in her late teens, smiled and cried for glee. The customer in the back stroked his chin.

She twirled in place and hugged herself as she announced, “I’m a girl again!”