Part 11 - All That You Can Dee

Bruce gave her a smiling nod. “I’m not a pro but I have spent time immersing myself in study as well as the ocean. I take the idea of the Renaissance Man in the modern age to heart.” He held his hands out like he was cradling a pair of imaginary eggs. Korri could imagine him sitting there in a Zen position. Dee could only wonder what kind of regular employment this man had.

Korri pressed her teeth together a bit. She really didn’t want to give any particulars in front of Dee. It would be far too embarrassing. Instead, she asked, “How does one typically interpret a dream?”

Bruce bowed his head and rocked his legs. “Well…that depends totally on who you read. If you like the original Freud with his cigar or if you’re Jung at heart…it all depends.” Dee conceded a little snort and Korri smiled as she listened.

[https://i.imgur.com/lbsWgpw.jpg]

He continued, “Freud would say like…your dreams are you acting out all the stuff you really want to do but which you say ‘no way’ and censor out. So like…I have these dreams where I’m naked and flying. I don’t even know I’m wishing that. And I can’t even understand it. I think there’s a lot of free-association but I’m more a passing scholar of that. You gotta pick out what’s important and what’s like white noise. The flow from the little eddies. You know?”

Korri cradled her head. She held herself from blushing at the idea of kissing Dee as a suppressed wish. Korri gave a little nod.

Bruce held up a finger and added, “Buuuut…there’s also Jung and all sorts of stuff that just blows my mind. Like…every man has a feminine, inner personality. An anima. And there’s an opposite for girls. Like a flooowing wave of yin and yang. Then, there’s the shadow. And that’s like…all your hidden feelings and weaknesses. It gets bigger the more you don’t show them and that’s all around in your unconscious head. Like, part of my shadow would be a fear of drowning. I don’t consciously feel it when I’m in the water but I can put together that it’s there. It’s like all this animal stuff. And it comes out when you dream as all sorts of symbols. But Jung thought that what literally happened in the dream mattered. But it may not mean what you think…”

This made Korri feel a little better. She wondered whether she should buy a dream book as she tried to tease out more dream details from her memories. Beach. Lockers. She remembered the mirror and the transformation well. Pink bikini. Then Dee…he was getting manlier and she was getting girlier. She felt all sorts of ecstasy for him. And the end…

She noticed she was getting a little sweaty. She flapped her top and coughed as she said, “Any other ways?”

Bruce rocked his head and scooted his chair closer to Korri. “Those are the whales of psychology. Others…it’s like…more manifestation of your thoughts or it’s a self-warning about your future.”

Korri hid a grimace about that. Dee pressed a finger to his chin and noted, “Well…if you want to simplify it…” He gave his chair a tiny nudge in Korri’s direction.

Bruce shrugged. “I just try to get at the big ideas.”

Korri nodded back and said, “That’s cool. I haven’t taken a prerequisite psych class yet. I guess it would mean more after that.”

Bruce and Dee facing Korri formed a diminishing right angle as Dee gave his chair a little nudge closer and said, “Current research has suggested dreams are just test reactions to potential dangers. Animals deprived of them respond less automatically to predators.”

Bruce seemed more intrigued by this information than Korri as he remarked, “Really? Wow. Guess we’re mostly wild animals under it all.”

Korri clutched the mass of her hair in her hands and stood. She looked between Dee and Bruce. They both edged their chairs back. Her gaze rested on Bruce a moment before she said, “That’s a lot to think about. But you have a lot to think about too. You asked me what it’s like to be a…girl. I haven’t really had a shortage of experiences. This is my tenth time as a girl.”

Bruce emphasized a silent “wow” with his mouth in an O-shape then asked, “I bet you’ve had a lot of interesting experiences.” Korri leaned on the desk and peered across the counter at Bruce. She wiggled her mouth a bit in contemplation before remarking, “The first couple of times were interesting and good for a laugh. One lasted longer than I wanted and made things…complicated. When you reach double-digits…there are days when I feel like I automatically should be wearing a bra, when I don’t feel like myself anymore.” Dee stared off at some papers but his eyes occasionally flicked towards Korri.

Bruce dipped his head down and said evenly, “I feel ya. Man, there are days like that without nano-anything….I love the ocean. It reveals but it also consumes. You see…the absolute all around you. And that absolute is just a little part of everything. Makes you ask the big questions all at once. But it also gives some answers.”

Korri lowered herself back into her chair as she asked, “What kind of answers?”

Bruce shrugged. “An answer doesn’t work for everyone. But…I like…you know that quote…’I am large, I contain multitudes’. Totally out of context but I think like…each person is a multitude. Like the ocean…little bits all adding up. So no matter what, I feel like…whoever I am, I’m always me.” Bruce rocked and gestured with his hands to the ground.

Korri dropped her head and repeated to herself, “I’m always me…” She didn’t really get it. But she felt something with the words. She felt a little less adrift.

Bruce smirked and added, “It’s a good reminder but I still get lost some days and need to hunt for the shore.” His voice sounded as girlish as ever but Korri had gotten used to it to the point where she didn’t find it out of the ordinary.

After a thoughtful silence, Bruce laughed lightly as he said, “I’m sorry. I should really be asking you for advice…”

Korri waved her hands. “No no. Don’t worry about it. I just wish I had more to offer. I’m kinda lost in it all. I mean…it depends on the body. With this one…right now… my back could so use a massage…”

Stolen content alert: this content belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences.

Bruce stood and stretched his fingers in front of him. “If you would so kindly oblige me, I’ve been told I give a wicked awesome muscle rubdown to those who have been through the liquid wringer.”

This time, Dee turned around. Korri looked at Bruce. She figured he probably gave great back rubs. She took a breath and said, calmly, “No. Thank you for your offer but no.”

Bruce lowered his hands and bowed his head, “Understood like crystal. I hope you get a nice spot of relaxation when your shift is done.”

Dee cleared his throat and looked between Korri and Bruce. Korri gave a quick nod as she said, “It’s not too far off now. I think…” She cupped her cheeks and shook her head. “All I can really offer you is…I guess it’s worth giving it a shot at least once. If you have any complaints or problems, that’s why we’re here.”

Bruce scooped up his air filter and smiled. “Righteous.” The tone of his voice deepened a little to a more-androgynous level. He coughed and remarked, “Whoa. Much better. Doesn’t sound like I got boxed in the groin anymore.” Korri gave a smirk and nodded.

Bruce met Dee’s gaze and gave a slow smile as he said, “Hmm…”

Dee blinked back at him and asked, “What?”

The oscillating, industrial fan gave a tremble and there was a far-off beeping sound. Bruce clung to the quiet moment. Korri sat up as Bruce remarked, “Nothing. Just had an interesting thought, that’s all. An awesome evening to the both of you. Thanks.”

Dee made no gesture except to look back at Bruce. Korri waved goodbye. With a flowing wave, Bruce left.

Dee leaned back in his chair and remarked, “Whole lot of nothing.”

Korri folded and leaned her arms on the table as she said, “I dunno. He seemed like a really interesting guy.”

Dee leaned away. “A patron of Buddhism, surfin’, psychology, and whatever else that came together there…”

Korri leaned away too. “And I know more about him than a certain co-worker. I could’ve asked to hang out with him.”

Dee’s eyes searched Korri as he responded, “You didn’t. You didn’t even go for a massage.” Korri cast her eyes down and touched her neck under her long hair. “So? What’s it to you?”

Dee held a shrug. “Absolutely nothing.”

Korri pressed her fingers on her desk. “He was a cool guy. He didn’t even care that I’m a dude normally…and…”

Dee picked up the word Korri left hanging, lowered his head, and repeated, “And…”

Korri shook her head with a sigh and gruffly said, “Whatever…” She stood and worked her way around to lean on the other side of the counter. She looked back at Dee. He seemed unbothered by the token distance she put between them. She nudged her way to the edge of the counter till the end poked her in the small of her back. Korri leaned there despite how much it ached.

All was silent save the oscillating fan until Dee remarked, without preamble, “Do you want to file your own daily report?”

Korri leaned away from the corner. “I have to include the housewares department stuff…so yeah. The boss wanted me to hand-deliver it as well so she could talk to me before I leave.”

Dee nodded then shuffled a couple of papers. The silence above the white noise of the fan began to bother Korri more than the end of the counter poking her. The fan flipped around little locks of her hair. She stood there until the words came out, “I dreamed about you…”

She tried to curl her lips in to pull back the words she’d said. She could hear Dee’s pen on a sheet of paper freeze in place. He gave a “hmm” to no one in particular and remarked, “I never realized I was that scary.”

Korri dug her under-moistened lips into her teeth as she said, “It’s nothing. It was a dream.”

Dee reminded her with a calm glance, “Your dream.”

At that moment, a phone buzzed like a smothered motorboat on Dee’s side of the partition. He reached over and answered it. He said a cursory greeting then listened. He tipped the phone away from his ear and covered the mouthpiece as he said to Korri, “It’s for you.”

She picked up the phone and tried to bend away from Dee but the cord brought her close. She listened a moment before straightening in surprise. She shot back with, “No! No! Say he’s not here! He’s not here!...ARG!…” She set the phone on the table and glanced at the bending hallway.

Korri grit her teeth and looked around furtively. She cursed and bolted around the counter. She looked under the desk and said, “There’s enough room to hide…” Her eyes flicked up to the hallway just in time to hear a door flutter open. Her heart throbbed at the sound. She couldn’t will her body under before footsteps sounded through the hallway.

With a gulp, Korri watched as a woman emerged through the hallway bend and into the room. She tried to hide any moment of recognition of the woman’s face or her short, midnight-blue tinted hair.

Her glasses were narrow ovals on a silvery frame. Her eyes were a shade of blue that complimented her hair and matched the color of Korri’s eyes. Korri knew she was exactly forty-two because she’d proclaimed it mightily for the last three months. Her slim, gray t-shirt displayed a faded Triforce symbol on the front.

She turned and faced the two of them with her hands on the hips of her jeans. Her gaze immediately traveled to Korri. With a shake of her head, she said, “Again, Jeffrey? Didn’t you turn into a girl just last week? Honestly.”

Korri waited as long as she could before asking, “What are you doing here?”

The older woman frowned and asked back, “Don’t you remember?…I said I would stop by before my night class to see how you were.”

A little memory came back for Korri. Unenthusiastically, she nodded, “Yeah, mom.”

With a peer through her glasses and a shake of her head, the older woman noted, “…Korri? Dear. You do realize how that sounds with your last name, right?”

Korri let out a nod. “Yeah…mom. It’s not like I picked it myself.”

“I suspected as much, otherwise it would be Cindi something. I actually considered something with a K, if you were born a girl.”

“I know, mom…”

Dee leaned forward and said, “Hello.”

The older woman smiled and offered her hand. “Hello there! Dee Wright…right? Mitchell at the front told me where to find this department and everything. I’m…Korri’s mom, Regina Morrey. Nice to meet you.”