The Twelve Complaints of Christmas
~~~~~
(A Complaints Christmas Melody)
Korri steps out under a light with a fuzzy Santa hat on, a paper in her hands, and clears her throat.
Dee gives a little clap.
Korri takes a deep breath and begins singing.
> On the first day of Christmas
> Complaints were sent to Dee
> A gender zapping TV!
>
> On the second day of Christmas
> Complaints were sent to Dee
> Two swimming suits
> And a gender zapping TV!
>
> On the third day of Christmas
> Complaints were sent to Dee
> Three nightgowns
> Two swimming suits
> And a gender zapping TV!
>
> On the fourth day of Christmas
> Complaints were sent to Dee
> Four calling plans
> Three nightgowns
> Two swimming suits
> And a gender zapping TV!
>
> On the fifth day of Christmas
> Complaints were sent to Dee
> Five special rings
> Four calling plans
> Three nightgowns
> Two swimming suits
> And a gender zapping TV!
>
> On the sixth day of Christmas
> Complaints were sent to Dee
> Six perfume sprays
> Five special rings
> Four calling plans
> Three nightgowns
> Two swimming suits
> And a gender zapping TV!
>
> On the seventh day of Christmas
> Complaints were sent to Dee
> Seven bras a-growing
> Six perfume sprays
> Five special rings
> Four calling plans
> Three nightgowns
> Two swimming suits
> And a gender zapping TV!
>
> On the eighth day of Christmas
>
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>
> Complaints were sent to Dee
> Eight maids in lace
> Seven bras a-growing
> Six perfume sprays
> Five special rings
> Four calling plans
> Three nightgowns
> Two swimming suits
> And a gender zapping TV!
>
> On the ninth day of Christmas
> Complaints were sent to Dee
> Nine pairs of heels
> Eight maids in lace
> Seven bras a-growing
> Six perfume sprays
> Five special rings
> Four calling plans
> Three nightgowns
> Two swimming suits
> And a gender zapping TV!
>
> On the tenth day of Christmas
> Complaints were sent to Dee
> Ten muscle shirts
> Nine pairs of heels
> Eight maids in lace
> Seven bras a-growing
> Six perfume sprays
> Five special rings
> Four calling plans
> Three nightgowns
> Two swimming suits
> And a gender zapping TV!
>
> On the eleventh day of Christmas
> Complaints were sent to Dee
> Eleven press-on nails
> Ten muscle shirts
> Nine pairs of heels
> Eight maids in lace
> Seven bras a-growing
> Six perfume sprays
> Five special rings
> Four calling plans
> Three nightgowns
> Two swimming suits
> And a gender zapping TV!
>
> On the twelfth day of Christmas
> Complaints were sent to Dee
> Twelve silken wigs
> Eleven press-on nails
> Ten muscle shirts
> Nine pairs of heels
> Eight maids in lace
> Seven bras a-growing
> Six perfume sprays
> Five special rings
> Four calling plans
> Three nightgowns
> Two swimming suits
> And a gender zapping TV!
Korri takes a bow.
Dee switches the lights back on and they get back to work.