Three days after I had my play marathon with Lea I sat comfortably in an armchair a servant had placed in the backyard. My list of unwanted people had extended by another name. Below Sephiroth, the evil drill instructor stood now Lea, dark lord of puppets and horrendous games.

No, joke aside. I really loved her dearly. But after we had finished playing I had felt like I had got eaten alive by a crocodile, chewed thrice and spat out again. I could only crawl back to my bed and fell asleep instantly.

Luckily she was now shopping with my mother. I enjoyed the quietness of the afternoon by reading a very informative book. Stretching myself I cringed at the pain that ran through my body. As usual, I had my morning exercise with Sephiroth, but this time she didn’t break or hurt me enough to warrant the use of her healing potions.

Each time I forgot that, and moved my body, it told me very expressively how it felt about my actions.

It couldn’t be helped, it was necessary. After I had found a position which was bearable, I concentrated on the book again. It was a very interesting read. Since I arrived here, I had been wondering how the world was divided by the ruling powers. Now I found part of my answer.

Okay, it could have been more detailed, but it looked like the geographical knowledge of this world was much harder to come by than on earth. At least I got myself a map that showed how the human empire was structured and what lands bordered to it.

The empire was called Amonyr. Ruled by the mighty and righteous Amon Trueflame. The empire of Amonyr constituted of four kingdoms and the land in the middle of them, which was the emperor’s seat of power.

The four countries of the empire were called Karsk, Targos, Rohas and Manaranth. Karsk lay in the south-west of the empire. The whole west of the empire was protected by an immense mountain ridge and further south was the sea. Because of that, the Country of Karsk had developed itself into the country which developed most of the resources of the empire. Be it iron, gold, fish, salt or weed. Everything came from there.

The Country right next to it was Targos. It protected the south-east from the wilderness. Right above was Rohas. The country with the most military power. It had to defend against the demons of the north and the wilderness of the east.

The last kingdom was Manaranth, it helped Rohas protect the north. It had the benefit of having the mountain ridge to its west. This strategical position allowed it to only have to concentrate its defense on the north against the demons.

Now I had a clearer picture of where I was. I knew that I had come from the wilderness and crossed the defensive wall into the country of Targos. There I had been forcefully exorcised, which had shot me far away to the southern part of the country to a small border-town called Mendres.

My new family, the Brightclouds, ruled the lands around Mendres. We were far away from the heart of our kingdom. But there were also benefits. Thanks to the distance, we were mostly undisturbed by the games and backstabbing that happened daily in the capitol.

Having read so far, I stopped and drank a sip from my tea that Sandra had prepared for me. It tasted delicious. I gazed absently towards the distance and observed the sky. Clouds slowly covered it up. The enjoyable warmth faded from my skin as the sun disappeared.

With the oncoming darkness my thoughts steered towards more somber topics.

In the past my family had ruled over extended lands, but that had all changed. Now only this one barony was left.

Most of the history was deeply buried. From what I gleaned, it looked like the Brightclouds had once offended someone they shouldn’t have. After that event, most of their offspring had died in one way or another. Some fell down the stairs, others choked on something they ate. Had it been an isolated accident, it wouldn’t have been suspicious, but the frequency of these happenings drew a different picture. Even so, the culprit was never found. Because of this, the once mighty family shrunk until only the people in this household remained.

Luckily these sorts of accidents had stopped at that point. The Brightclouds from today had resigned themselves to their fate. My mother and father only wanted to give us an enjoyable life. They didn’t have any ambitions towards expanding their territory anymore.

Mulling over these dark thoughts I didn’t realize when I dozed off. A short time later I woke up with a start. I gazed up at the horizon; the sun was already mostly gone. Mors wasn’t standing behind me anymore. Something wasn’t right. That thought suddenly popped into my mind.

Now fully awake, I observed my surroundings in more detail. It was quiet. I could not hear a thing. That shouldn’t be possible. Even if the people in our household were silent, I should still have been able to hear the sounds of them working. Much less the rest of the surrounding city.

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I felt a foreboding feeling. Something bad was about to happen! I needed to find my family! I made my way towards the mansion. At first I walked, but I quickly increased my pace to a quick trot and faster.

I ran through the door towards the living room. It crashed into the wall of the corridor as I had pushed with too much force, but I didn’t care. I felt an increasing sense of urgency.

At last I had reached my destination. I swiftly checked for my sister and mother. Ah, there! My sister was standing with her back towards me next to an old oak table.

I immediately called her name, “Lea! How are you? Is everything fine!?”

She didn’t react to my call. She didn’t even move. Something wasn’t right. I felt the fear rising as I made my way towards her. Gingerly I walked around her, trying to decipher what was wrong with her.

The first thing that attracted my attention was her gray hair and skin color. I still wasn’t able to see her face, but her skin greatly disturbed me. No living being should look like that!

What had happened?! Then at last, I had reached her front. My heart immediately froze. In front of me stood a corpse. Her once luscious hair had turned into an ugly gray-yellow-white. But that was not the worst. Her once expressive eyes, full of life and happiness, were devoid of any feeling or light.

At that moment I felt something break in me. I had been able to feel and enjoy the warmth and love of a family for only a little more than a week. At the beginning a part of me had warned myself to not get used to it. Life was cruel, I should stay wary. Something so good couldn’t be true! But without me realizing it, the love and happiness had wormed its way into my heart and eroded my armor of indifference and callousness. The more it hurt now to see that suddenly vanish. Leaving me alone again.

I felt tears slowly slide down my cheeks. My mind was in utter chaos. Her empty eyes suddenly moved, focusing on me. She was not dead! I wanted to rejoice, but half a second later my elation was dozed by ice cold water.

“Because of you, our family has broken apart! You are the sole reason mother has died!” Lea looked at me hatefully, her voice freezing cold.

What?! What did she mean? Our mother was still alive! At that moment I suddenly remembered. After I had arrived in this world, my mother had tried to heal my body, in doing so she had over-drafted her body. In the last two weeks she had slowly succumbed to her inner injuries.

How could I have forgotten that?!

No, wait! Something didn’t feel right!

“I-” Before I could bring sense into the chaos in my head, my little sister acted.

“It is your fault! Everything is your fault!” She raised the kitchen knife she had been holding and stabbed herself into the stomach.

“No! What are you doing?!” I tried to stop her, but my body felt so weak.

“If it wasn’t for you, we would still have a happy family! Andrew, it is all your fault!”

“No! Please, Sis! Stop, I beg you!”

She didn’t listen to me. Finished with cutting open her entire stomach she proceeded to cut off her nose, her eyelids, lips and ears. She didn’t stop until most of her skull was exposed, her eyes full of hate.

I couldn’t do anything. I stood sobbing in front of her. She was right! It was all my fault. I destroyed her family. I had no right to live!

Why was I even here?! I couldn’t do anything! My old family had broken apart. I was honorlessly discharged from the military and afterwards forcefully re-enlisted into it when the Darkons had appeared. There, my whole squad had died without me, as I had fled with Mat. And even that I couldn’t do successfully, as I had later died a useless dead. Nothing that I had started had ever ended well!

At that moment I realized what I should do. I had lived my entire life in darkness. There was not one thing that was worth living for! Why did I try to force my way forward? For more pain and loneliness? Nobody wanted me. I didn’t want to feel the pain anymore. No, it was best to end it here!

As I had reached my conclusion, the skull of my former sister suddenly smiled.

“That is right, my brother. You are worthless, your life is wordless, why not come with me? Leave this hull behind. Come with me!”

She stretched her arm towards me.

I saw salvation in her eyes. I knew if I took her hand all my troubles would end. Everything would be fine! My entire body was in pain. It felt like roots were drilling themselves through me. It had to be my guilt. If I accepted her offer I would leave that all behind.

Slowly, I stretched my hand towards her. I had made my decision.