The Rat's Tale gave me images of a dirty tavern along the riverfront. I thought we were going to have to go into the slums of Lower City to find it. Rather than get ourselves lost, we decided to ask the way once we got to Lower City. The first person we asked showed us for a copper penny and a ride up front with Brad, our new driver. It was only two streets over from the south exit of the Middle City, but that meant that we had come out at the wrong exit initially and had to take the carriage along a road called the outer loop. It was wide enough to fit two carriages and had extra room for pedestrians. In general, the lower city was quite nice, close to the wall.

The area where the Rat's Tavern was located was actually very clean. The tavern itself was a squat, whitewashed stone building. What it lacked in height, it made up for in length and width. It took up a whole block of the area. The doors were wide, and they had a bouncer out front. It had a nice stable to the side for horses and carriages. To say I was impressed would be an understatement.

The bouncer let us straight in without even a glance. The inside was no less impressive. It had dim lighting and nice tables surrounding a dance floor. Musicians played, and people clapped along to the beat as commoners in the center of the room danced. Along the walls were three different bars. I felt like I had entered an ancient nightclub.

Benjamin and I walked to the first bar, and I set down the coin, "A friend of mine recommended this place." The man examined the coin and said, "I'm not serving what you are looking for. Go visit Freddy," he said, pointing to the bar across from him.

After figuring out the code on the letter, I had examined the coin, and just like I thought, it wasn't a regular silver crown. The face on it was not that of King Asput, but rather, it was a pig. I assumed it was some sort of token I needed to show.

When I got to the next bar, Freddy was serving another customer. As soon as he was done, he came over to help me. "What can I get you?" he said with a smile.

"The barkeep over there said I could find what I was looking for over here," I said as I set down the coin.

"Most likely," he said while making the coin vanish into a purse almost faster than I could follow. "What is your name, my lord?"

"Baron Amos Bicman."

"Welcome to the Rat's Tale, Lord Bicman. I think I have just the thing for you." He reached down and pulled out a clay jug from under the counter. "Now, I recommend not drinking this stuff alone. It is always good to have company. I recommend Old Dan." He said, pointing to a man sitting near the back end of the room. He wore the outfit of a noble, but it was wrinkled and stained.

This was quite the event that Carter had set up. I walked up to Old Dan and sat down across from him. He looked up at me with a glare. "What'ch want."

"Just come to share a drink," I said as Benjamin set down the jug.

He snatched the jug, uncorked it, and sniffed it. Satisfied, he poured the liquid into his mug. He took a swallow. Tried to set down the mug and spilled it across the table onto my lap.

I jumped up the table with a shout of alarm.

"I'm sorry, my lord. Let me show you where you can get cleaned up, " he said, not looking sorry at all.

He stood up and started to walk out of the bar. I followed him with a big wet spot on my crotch. We got a few stares as we left, and I am sure that news of the baron who had wet himself would spread.

We walked to the building next door, which looked like a bakery. Although it was definitely closed for the evening, he led me around back to a cellar and opened the door.

"Ah, you want me to go into the creepy cellar?"

"How much do you trust your friend?" the man asked, his smile barely visible in the dim light cast by the moon.

Benjamin was silent, but I could see the disapproval on his face.

"Nothing ventured, nothing gained," I said after giving it a thought.

We followed him into the darkness. He told us to shut the cellar door behind us, and we were plunged into darkness. At the bottom of the stairs, we started traveling down a long corridor.

"Stop," Dan said, and Benjamin and I froze in place.

We heard some rustling and clicking, and then the door opened into a dimly lit room. After entering the room, Dan shut the door behind us. "Wait here, " he said as he walked through another door.

“So, do you think this is a trap of some sort?” I said more out of a need to fill the silence rather than any conviction that we were in trouble.

“If it is, it is too late to worry about now.” Then he lowered his voice to a whisper. “I believe the walls have ears.”

That gave me an idea. It would be just like Carter to be laughing behind one of the walls.

“Have I ever told you how bad of a swordsman Lord Carter is?” I said very loudly.

Benjamin's face immediately paled.

“I mean, I have yet to see him win a duel. I wonder if he is trying to let Rulot win."

"My lord, is it wise-"

The door Dan went through opened again. This time, Rulot was standing there. He grinned, "That was rude."

I smiled back. "So is spying on people."

Then Carter walked in. "Seriously, you didn't have to say that."

"If I hadn't, you would have kept spying on me until I did something stupid."

"I challenge you to a duel. You don't get to mock me about my dueling without being better than me."

I put my hands up and took a step back. "Whoa, let's not get carried away. You know I have no idea how to duel. You would beat me black and blue. I didn't ever say that I could win against you."

"Then it is time you learn, " he said with a smile. And this is the perfect place to do so. Let's go."

I have to admit I was intrigued. "What is this place?"

"It is Kimton's premiere underground Dueling Arena," Carter said proudly.

So, it is a gambling den for duels.

"Nice, but you owe me new pants. I don't think the swill you had Old Dan pour on me is coming out." I said. I had to admit I was a little upset.

"Yeah, sorry about that. I'll make sure to compensate you. You took that very well, though. I lost a silver to Rulot over your reaction."

I decided to ignore the fact that my friends were spying and betting on my reaction.

"I am flattered to be invited, but why me?" I asked.

Rulot snorted, "Because the duke and his cronies are pricks just like the duke's cousin, the king. That whole thing was a farce. That whole court is a farce."

"What do you mean?" I had an idea, but I wanted to hear it from him.

"I am sure that they planned to do something like that to you even before you arrived. They want you on your back foot." Carter said.

Benjamin had mentioned that possibility when we had discussed things earlier; he had, after all, been raised here. He was beating himself up for not realizing that painting someone else before I painted the duke would be part of it.

"There is even a thought that a program of sorts is sent out to the highest nobility on what judgments will be passed so that they know if they want to attend," Carter said.

"Forgive my interruption, my lord, but that is an exaggeration," Benjamin said.

"Maybe, but are you saying that the high nobles don't discuss the judgments beforehand?"

"Of course not. It is well known that the Duke is only allowed to toy with certain people at his discretion. The idea that the Duke is making all the decisions randomly is to keep the commoners fearful of displeasing him."

"So he is not insane?" I asked.

"No, he is quite malicious, but not to the point where he is uncontrollable. If he were, then he would have been killed a while ago."

"I still don't see why they keep him around. Wouldn't it be better to have a sane puppet?"

"His value is his royal blood. It gives him legitimacy. Even if they were to put a different royal in his place, the person would not be as easy to manipulate."

"Doesn't his behavior threaten the King's position? Why doesn't the king get rid of him?"

"The king is not all-powerful. If he were to get rid of Duke Kimton, he would have to replace him with someone else. Right now, he has more pressing issues to deal with. At least, that is what his advisors are telling him. He is not a strong king like his father. Besides, think of those judgments that seemed irrational or cruel. How much impact do you think they will have on the Kingdom as a whole," Benjamin said.

Thinking about it, they wouldn't have much of an impact at all. They were just entertainment for the nobles. Also, a mad duke couldn't gain enough support to threaten the king's rule, so why would the king worry about the duke's cruelty when he had bigger things to deal with?

Stolen from its original source, this story is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.

"Personally, I think you handled your judgment very well," Carter said. "You kept your head after making the duke furious. That is one of the reasons I am inviting you. And, of course, you need to see nobles dueling in order to become any good. While you are here in Kimton, I plan to help you learn the basics. You won't be any good by the time you leave, but at least you will know where to stick your sword."

We exited the room and entered another corridor that led to the left. At the end of this hall, we entered a large room, which, by its size, made me assume that we were under the Rat's Tail. There was a second stage for musicians, which led to a large open pit. People were gathered around the pit, cheering. There was also another bar here. There was a bookie booth with a slate next to it. Names were written on it with odds. I saw Rulot on it, with odds so ridiculously in his favor that it would be stupid for anyone to bet against him.

"So Rulot, I see that you are quite good."

Carter snorted, "There is a reason I never win. Rulot is a champion with the sword and not just dueling. You put a sword in his hand, and he is unstoppable. When he is called up to war, he will slaughter everyone within reach."

"I thought you were opposed to the war?" I said.

"I am. That doesn't mean the king will take that into consideration when he sends us to war. I am fortunate enough to go with Rulot and a few other knights and all their men. I also have my own trained soldiers.

"From what you explained, if you ever get called up, then all you have are a bunch of peasants. You had better hope that all the king ever asks of you is food, or you most likely won't survive. It is a shame that the king is so willing to throw lives away." He said.

"Enough of this. Let's go watch the match." Rulot said.

The current match was over before we got there, so there was a ten-fraction pause before the next duel. Fractions were basically Earth minutes. It was a fraction of a bell. I just called them minutes. Once we got clocks, we would do away with bells.

So, after the ten-minute break, the next match began. These matches were not like when I was practicing with Chris or Draves. Those were long-drawn-out things. These were two people circling each other, looking for an opening. Once the first attack was made, though, most of them were over within half a minute. If the two opponents were equally matched and highly skilled, then the match would last longer. One lasted almost ten minutes. Rulot's was over so fast that I barely saw what happened.

"Why fight if it is that obvious they are so unequally matched?" I asked Carter.

"That is just Rulot. He accepts one challenge a night, no matter who it is. People love fighting against him just for the experience of it." He said.

"I guess that makes sense. Carter, thank you for the evening, but I must go. I do not know when I will be called upon to paint tomorrow, but I need to get some rest."

"Ok, but you must come tomorrow, Amos. Tomorrow is the sword dance. I know you haven't seen one, so you must come."

"Ok, should I leave the same way I came?"

"No, that is actually the emergency exit. Just use that door over there, and it will take you up to a room in the Rat's Tail. Go through the opposite door, and it will take you to the bar. Come back tomorrow through that door as well."

"Why did I come in through there then?"

He smiled, "I thought it would be more fun."

I rolled my eyes but then smiled. "You owe me a pair of pants, Carter. Thanks for the entertaining evening."

***********

The next morning, a letter came from the castle. I was to meet the duke one bell past noon. When I arrived, I had to wait two bells before I could enter. He was in a room where he sat in a wide chair with one arm propped up against an armrest.

I bowed deeply and said, “Your Highness, thank you for allowing me to bask in your glorious presence today. Where would you like me to paint you.”

“You will paint me in the throne room, of course.”

“Ah, an excellent choice, my lord. With your permission, I will request that my people bring the paints to the throne room, and we will position you to give the best possible portrait of you.”

The bored expression vanished off the face of the mad duke, replaced by one I had seen a few times during the judgments. Maniacal glee.

“Oh no, young baron. You misunderstand me. I do not mean my throne room,” He clapped his hands, and a painting of another throne room was brought in by two servents. It was an adequate picture at best, but you could tell what you were looking at. An unfamiliar man sat on the throne. It was very dull, though.

“This is a recreation I had made. My cousin's throne room. You will make a better painting of it and paint me into it."

My mouth dropped in shock.

Was this guy insane?

Never mind, I knew the answer to that. If word got out that I painted the duke into a picture of the king’s throne, I did not doubt that I would be a dead man. However, if I did not paint it, I would be dead by the end of the day. I really, really hate this man.

My next words came out forced, “As you wish, Your Highness.”

And so I was left with the other painting and spent the next two hours recreating some of it. I had no idea how close the picture was to the original, but I had a lot I could improve. They had brought in a lot of paint for this, and I ended up having them call back each of the suppliers. I had to know how these paints were made and what was in them. If they were made using incompatible ingredients, they would not blend well. I also didn't want to poison myself with unfamiliar ingredients.

The fact that most of the paints contained lead did not bother me. Hopefully, the Duke would like the painting so much that he would eat it and die. I always wore gloves when painting in this world. I knew that in my own world, a lot of toxic chemicals had been added to paints throughout the centuries. I didn’t know enough about chemicals to know which ones were safe.

I remember reading about a few in my art classes. Paris Green contained something like arsenic. Radium was used in stuff in the early 1900s, and asbestos was used as a filler. I could not identify any of those chemicals. There were probably a hundred other chemicals that I shouldn’t have touched.

So why not warn other people? Because all I was was a backwater baron. Nobody would listen to me, and even if they did, that didn’t mean they would give up what they were doing. These people made their living selling these paints. They would starve before they could find an appropriate substitute. Besides, how much stuff did we do on Earth knowing it was bad for us? It boiled down to money or convenience.

If I were asked why I painted with gloves, I would explain that the paints contained hazardous substances, such as lead. But I didn’t demand change. All I could do was plant seeds and keep myself and my people as safe as possible.

After painting, I went back to the inn and started drawing various designs for water turbines. I had no idea which design would work best. Would it be best to make a lot of blades or only a few? What would be the best for maximum power output?

I divided the design into components and reduced the size to that of a model, so each blade was only about five centimeters. Of course, I had to convert it all back into the measurements woodworkers used around here. Blades would be glued into the centerpiece, and an arm would be attached.

I sent each component with a different servant to find woodworkers to make the pieces. I didn't want the whole design to be distributed to one person.

I also finished the last of my book paper. I had not expected to be gone from Bicman so long, so I ended up running out. Most of my other works were already sewn together, and we just needed more leather to bind them into complete books.

So now, I did not have much to do since I was a pariah among most nobles, which meant there were no parties to get ready for. I had already practiced my blade and spear work this morning with the soldiers, so now I needed something to entertain myself with until this evening's events. I was quite curious about this sword dance. So, I did something I thought would be fun. I had one of my men go out and see if they could find a good lute for sale.

I took a guitar class in high school for a year. That was back when I assumed girls thought guys who played guitars were cool. I did enjoy it, but they canceled the program the next year because there was not much interest in it in the school.

I knew playing a musical instrument here was not something male nobles were supposed to do, but I wanted to see how much different a lute was from a guitar.

"How many strings on the lute would you like?" the guard Zane asked. Apparently, he knew a bit about the instrument.

"I don't have any idea. Uh, how about as close to six as you can get." I said.

"As you command, my lord."

I think they were getting used to my weird requests.

Unfortunately, Zane had not been able to find one by the time I needed to leave. They had found me a long gray woolen cloak with a hood. Now that I was entering the underground arena through the regular way, I needed to disguise who I was. That meant no scarf and covering my face before entering. The barkeep would check me at the door.

It was a flimsy disguise, and everyone pretty much knew what was going on, but the bribes were paid, and it was ignored. As long as you keep yourself hidden, people will look the other way.

The first thing I noticed when I entered was that some of the people in attendance were wearing very flamboyant clothing. The colors were bright, and all of them wore capes. I found Carter, Rulot, and their wives surrounded by people. I decided to wait off to the side and not interrupt them. That worked until Trish caught my eye.

Her expression suddenly became intense, and she pushed her way out of the crowd. She made a beeline straight for me, and I took a step back as she got right up in my face. She had an odd, manic look in her eyes. It was so scary that I thought she might be related to the duke.

"You!" she shouted at me

"Me?" I said hesitantly.

"I need the next book," she said, holding up the copy of the short novel I had given her yesterday morning.

"Ah, I haven't written the next book yet," I said.

Her voice rose an octave as she said, "What! What do you mean you haven't written it yet?"

"Well, books take a while to write, and I have a lot to do, so I-"

"You mean you gave me a story that is only part-way done? I need to know what happens to Diane now!" She shouted at me.

Crap, I had just given birth to a new type of monster in this world. A book addict.

"I don't even know what happened to Diane. I mean, I kind of do, but I haven't got it all thought out yet, so it may change a bit and-"

"Go write it then. Why are you wasting your time at this stupid place when you could be writing me a book."

"That's not how it works. It will probably be a month or so before I can write it."

"A month! But you will be gone in a month." She whined.

"I will send you a copy. You should have it within less than half a year."

"You can't do this to me. I- I hate you, Amos! How could you give me only part of a story."

Just then, Carter and the rest came up. "Wow, that is an abrupt change. Last night, she wouldn't shut up about how amazing you were. She kept me up most of the night talking about your stupid book." Carter said with an exasperated sigh.

"She will get over it. She is just on a reader's high. Her dopamine levels are elevated, and now she is going to go into a state of depression for a bit." I said placatingly.

"I didn't understand most of that, but as long as she returns to normal, I am okay with it. I thought you had broken her."

"I don't know if it is exactly the same, but imagine if you were in the middle of an intense hunt or a duel and it was suddenly called off. How would you feel?" I explained.

"Ah, I see. And this happens to women when they read books, " he said as if understanding something profound.

I wanted to laugh. It happened to guys, too, but I wasn't going to worry about that at the time.

"Trish, since you are done with the book, I will take it back. I think I have a book you would like that does have an ending."

Suddenly, she squeezed the book to her chest as if she were protecting a baby. "You can't take it back."

Oh, boy, she was going to be one of those people who racked up library fines and made it impossible to get a hold of books.

"Trish, that is my only copy. I need to have it transcribed, and I promise to send you a copy."

"How much do you want for it? Carter, pay him one hundred gold." She demanded.

Carter's eyes went wide. "Seriously, it is just a book," he said.

He really shouldn't have said that.

"It's not just a book! It's-"

I interrupted her, trying to de-escalate things.

"Listen, Trish. Why don't you see if you can get a few of your scribes to transcribe the book? You can keep the original and just give me a copy. I just need it by the time I leave. And I promise I will try to get you the next book as soon as I can."

After a moment, I could tell her breathing had started to calm down, so I continued. "Now, why don't you guys tell me what this sword dance is all about and why all these guys are dressed like peacocks?"

There was a pause. And then Rulot said, "What is a peacock?"