No one came in to wake me, so I slept a good portion of the morning. I woke up with extremely tense muscles. I got up and stretched, then washed my face in a cool basin of water. I started to do my Tai Chi, focused on anything but yesterday.

It didn't work. The ice-cold fury and numbness I had been feeling yesterday vanished, and intrusive thoughts broke through the wall I had put up like a dam bursting and crashed into me like a train. Another name to add to the wall.

I dropped to my hands and knees and threw up. The image of my bloody hands on Drake's chest burned itself into my mind. Drake had begged for the opportunity to be our carriage driver, and Ben, the stablemaster, had relented.

Everyone was so sure that bandits wouldn't attack us as long as we flew our flags on our carriage. We were so sure of the protection those tiny flags would bring. Seven soldiers on horseback should scare off the usual bandit threat. Yet some lord had let a nest of bandits grow and fester in his land until they were bold enough to attack and rob a baron.

I crossed my legs and started on my meditation. Letting the grief wash over me. Accepting Drake's death as part of this cruel world. It was an hour before my mind had settled into acceptance. The grief and pain were still there, but I had accepted it. Servants were used to my schedule, so I slept in, which meant no bath or breakfast at the regular time. I don't think I could have eaten even if I had wanted to. Instead, I decided I would find someone to clean up the mess I had made on the floor.

I opened the door and immediately jumped back. Becca stood mere inches from the door. For a moment, I stared into her deep brown eyes. The trance was broken when she spoke.

"You are better this morning," she said confidently. "But… You still need a dog. Every boy your age needs a dog. I can see past the pain that clung to you like a thick fog yesterday. Dogs are everywhere, all wanting your attention. You need the one that is right for you."

She started to rummage through her pouches.

"Um, Becca. I am not interested in your method of finding a dog." I said as she finally found the pouch she was looking for.

She looked up at me with a penetrating gaze. Finally, she shook her head. "Children," She said as if the word were an accusation. She popped a small gray lump into her mouth. "They always think they know best."

With that, she turned and walked away. I stood there shaking my head for a moment before heading in the other direction, looking for a servant. There was a set of stairs at the end of the hall that led to the foyer of the manor, and when I reached the bottom of the stairs, I found two servants washing the floor. Both were teenage girls with their brown hair held up with sticks. When they noticed me, they both stood promptly and bowed.

"Excuse me, but is your lord back yet?" I asked

"No, my lord. A message arrived this morning saying that there were some complications and that they would arrive this afternoon, " the younger of the two asked. Now that I was closer, they actually looked to be sisters.

"What sort of complications?"

"Forgive me, my lord. I was not informed, " she said in a nervous tone. Was she afraid I would be angry? Lord Cumfrence didn't seem the type to treat his servants poorly, but I am sure they host a lot of traveling nobles because of where they are located. Maybe she had some bad experiences with them.

I smiled and said, "That's OK. I do apologize, but I threw up this morning. Could you please send someone to clean it?"

"Of course, my lord. We will do so immediately." The older one said.

"No need to rush. Finish what you are doing." As I said this, I pulled two coppers from my pouch and handed one to each of them. "For your troubles."

They both stared at me like I had two heads as I turned around and left. I needed to find the captain. I shook my head.

No, Draves is not here right now. If he were, it wouldn't change anything. All I can do is wait for Sir Cumfrence.

I went to my carriage and grabbed the one pad I had kept in it. I had the ink and pen that I had tried to write with and some charcoal sticks. There was a small garden on the east side of the manor, but I avoided going there to draw. Apparently, that was where Becca resided. There was a small pond on the opposite side of the manor, and so I made my way to a large rock that overlooked the clear pool.

Putting the pad in the crook of my arm, I began to sketch what I saw. A small pool of water with a few fish. The fish were patterned like koi but had the color of a rainbow trout mixed in with the white.

The rocks around it were red sandstone—at least, they looked like sandstone to me. I could tell that the plants around the lake were arranged to complement the setting. This was definitely a mixture of artificial and natural creations.

My peace was interrupted by Benjamin. "My lord, it is time for lunch. They asked if pickled eggs and grilled cod would be agreeable to you."

"That's fine," I said as I stood up and brushed off my pants, "Any word on the men?"

"Not yet, my lord. I am sure all is well." Lord Cumfrence seems like a capable man."

"I hope so. I am sorry, Benjamin, that I have not been considerate of you. How are you handling this?"

"It is… difficult, my lord. I know it is not right, but I feel I should have told Drake to stay at home. I should have said it would be hard for Jacklyn to be away from him for so long. If I had just said that… but then it would have been another driver."

"I think that is pretty much how we all feel. It is why I allowed all of our men to go. They will be able to get some sort of closure for having Drake killed."

"I still disagree with your decision. We are now under the care of a different noble's guards."

"Your disapproval is noted. I do take your council seriously, Benjamin, but my men needed this, and I could not deny them this," I said firmly.

"It will improve morale, I suppose."

"No, Benjamin, not for morale. This is for my men. There is a difference. I suggest you learn it," It came out harsher than I meant it, but I didn't know how else to express how I felt about the situation.

My men were not numbers. They were not a bunch of happy or sad faces on a computer game to let you know how well you were doing. I did think of morale at times, but I could never forget the individuals.

If I were honest with myself, there was something else bothering me. Something I could only share with a few people, and Benjamin wasn't one of them—not without revealing where I came from. I needed Draves. He was a rock I could depend on when things got crazy.

I was changing, and I didn't know if it was for the better. I did not hesitate when I told the knight to kill those men. Was I more focused on justice, or was I just becoming callous? I had no remorse for the order, but it wasn't what I would have said when I first came here six months ago.

It felt like a lifetime ago. I let my feelings rule my actions. I didn't want to feel guilty for causing others harm. But I didn't want the pendulum to swing to the opposite extreme. I did not want my anger to cause me to do something I could never take back.

The comment Draves made so long ago still stuck with me. "There is no peace without justice."

But I believe there is no justice without law. A solid foundation of right and wrong. The men I sentenced to death should be brought before the baron to be judged even if the guilt was evident even if we were going to put them to death as soon as they were judged. Just because I was a baron didn't mean I could use cowboy justice. I didn't want that type of thing happening in my barony, so I shouldn't be doing it here. The rules have to be followed even by me.

I needed Draves as a sounding board. But for now, I was on my own. No time for an existential crisis. As I told the Endless One in the beginning, I will do my best, but there better dang well be a surfboard waiting for me when I die.

I hardly tasted lunch. I was too nervous to wait for news of the fight. At a bell past noon, another messenger arrived, saying all was well and that they would be here shortly.

You might be reading a stolen copy. Visit Royal Road for the authentic version.

It ended up being just before the sun set. A very rowdy group of men entered the manor. It reminded me of how Nathan's lacrosse team would act after they won a game. Two of my men were guiding our wagons into the manor. These were not the only wagons that came along with them, though. Apparently, the bandits had been very active.

I approached one of my men, who was still on horseback. "What happened, Arthur?"

"My lord," he said while getting down off his horse. "We rode into their camp just as the sun was beginning to set and then slaughtered them all. Derek and Alec were both wounded, but it was nothing serious. I-"

"Excuse me for the interruption, my lord, but might I have a word with you," Lord Cumfrence said as he strode up to us. Arthur immediately backed away.

"Of course, I am eager to hear news of what transpired."

"Thank you, my lord. If you do not mind, let us walk as we talk. I must stretch my legs."

"That would be fine," I said as we turned and walked towards the pond.

"My lord, I wanted to apprise you of the situation before the rumors started to become inflamed. We traveled north to the point where you buried the boy's body. From there, we continued northward, and I sent my scouts out among the trees.

"We had a stroke of luck about a bell's worth of time into our search. One of your wagons got stuck in the mud, and the bandits had to unload everything to get it out. When they loaded things back in, they left some things that they didn't find essential. At first, we figured it was a trap. Who would leave such an obvious clue as to their retreat? Fortunately, they had just gotten lazy with their success and felt they could come back and get it later.

"Our scouts found the camp at about five bells past noon, and we rode in and slaughtered or captured them all. The leader was not among them, but after interrogating those who were left, we discovered their leader, Gaelyon, was posing as a garden hermit on the estate of the lord. I do not believe he was aware of the interloper's presence on his grounds. It was arranged by the steward he had left behind."

"What is a garden hermit? This is the first I have heard of them." I said.

"Ah, yes, your men explained you were the lord of the northmost barony. Forgive me, my lord, for my lack of diligence in knowing the geography of our country. I had not heard of your barony until yesterday. The garden hermit, sometimes called the ornamental sage, became popular in Kimton a few years back. It became very fashionable to have one on an estate. They live in the gardens of nobles. Sometimes, nobles build them grottos. They live alone in isolation most of the time but do sometimes make an appearance upon the lord's request. Sometimes, they are sages, or sometimes, they are eccentric and used for entertainment." He explained.

"I heard Becca lives in your garden. Is that what she is?"

"Yes, I got the idea when I visited Kimton last year. My friend who I stayed with had one. His was supposed to be a sage. However, after talking to the hermit, I found that he was lacking in that aspect. When I found out they could also be oddities, I came back and elevated Becca to the status of hermit."

"An oddity is correct. She interrupted me during dinner and insisted I eat something in order to find me a dog."

Lord Cumfrence's perfectly stoic face paled a bit. "Forgive me my lord. She means well. She is not supposed to leave the garden. Especially when guests are around."

I laughed a bit to help him relax. "Don't worry, I took no offense."

"Well, at least you did not eat the mushroom."

'How can you tell?" I asked.

"You would be laid up in bed if you had. I hear the experience is interesting, but the after-effects are horrible. But I digress. Let me continue the story, and I will explain more about Becca when we are finished."

"Go on then."

"Well, once we found out all the information we could, we hid ourselves outside the gate of the manor during the night. In the morning, I requested a brief audience with the steward on my way north. Of course, he could not refuse. As soon as the gate was open, the few men I had brought, and I rushed the gate and held it while the rest of my men rose up and charged into the manor grounds. We rounded up everyone, including the bandit leader, and hung those who were guilty in this affair. It ended up that most of the house was aware of the treacherous dealings of the steward."

My face turned green as I realized the massacre that must have taken place. There must have been people who had no way of stopping what was going on. Also, there were probably people among the bandits who had not taken part in the robbery and murder. With a group as large as the one that attacked us, there was no doubt they had wives and children among them. If I had been thinking clearly, I could have ordered this knight to try and save them so the count could try them. Even if he would most likely kill them, it would have been the right thing for me to do."

"You seem disappointed by the news, my lord." Lord Cumfrance said in confusion.

"It is not your fault. In my anger, I was not clear. I should have requested you spare those who did not take part in the banditry. I try to give trials to those who may not be guilty."

"My lord, forgive me for my boldness, but that seems excessive for a bunch of bandits. You do not spare a rat's nest just because all of them are not stealing from your storehouse. Baron Moren would be very disappointed if he came back to find I had saved the spawn of bandits."

By the laws of this land, he was right, and I had no right to interfere with how the baron decided to rule his lands, but that did not mean I was suddenly released from the burden of guilt.

"It is what it is, and it is not my place to keep you from doing your duty. What delayed you after that?"

"Two of my men died, and a few were wounded. We had to treat the wounded. Then there was the questioning of prisoners. I needed to write up a full report to the count. Then, we needed to make an accounting of all the goods at the camp and anything we suspected of them bringing to the manor. After that, we tried to find someone to handle the manor once we left, but all the leaders in the fiefdom were executed, and no one else was competent. So I left a few of my men. We brought back the stolen goods, and we will be sending them to the county seat."

"That makes sense. I didn't realize it would be so involved." I said.

"May I ask for you to give a written testimony with your seal before you leave? It would go a long way to making this go smoother. I cannot guarantee that my count will not request Count Vaspar send you down for a verbal testimony."

"Certainly."

"Excellent. Could we now go look over your wagons to make sure all your possessions are accounted for?"

"That seems like a good idea. I would like to leave tomorrow morning, and if we get this done while there is still light, then we can move on to supper."

******

"My Lord, again, I have to say how impressed I am with your artistry. When we unwrapped the clothes to check on them, They took my breath away. I heard of the painting of Count Vaspar, but I was not aware it was your work. Nor that the rumors of its magnificence were true." Lord Cumfrence said.

"Thank you. If it were possible, I would stay and paint you, but I must get to Kimton before the duke's patience wears thin. Instead, I will let you pick two paintings to keep."

"My lord, the gift is too much. I could not possibly accept."

"Nonsense, I insist. If it weren't for you, I would have lost them to the bandits anyways. And I owe you for helping kill the people who killed Drake."

"Then I must thank you for such a generous gift. I will pick one for me and one for my wife." He said, no longer containing his pleasure.

"I have not yet had the opportunity to meet with your wife."

"She is away at Tannor at the moment. She and my youngest daughter are celebrating the winter festivities there, and she enjoys staying with them for the whole affair. I, however, tire quickly of such events, so I attended the opening and then hurried home while she spent her time with her cousin and my youngest daughter. This will be a pleasant surprise for her when she gets home."

"May we change subjects for a moment?" I asked. "Tell me about Becca."

"Ah, yes, well, she came to us about five or six years ago. I am not sure. She has never been right in the head, but she is excellent with animals. We found her in the stables brewing something in a small pot and feeding it to one of our sick mares. The stable master was furious and chased her out. But by evening, the mare was completely whole, and we found Becca asleep in the loft. The stable master waited to wake her until morning and then gave her some coins and asked her to leave. She left, but the next day she was back. The stable master sent me to deal with her.

"I came down with my wife and spoke with her. I asked her to leave, but she said she had creatures to look after. Then she turned to my wife and told her she would give birth to the prettiest swan in the county. My wife thought that was hilarious and asked me to let the woman stay. I would often find my wife sitting with her as she rambled about different animals. After my wife missed her second cycle, she was convinced Becca was some sort of sage."

"Is the fact that she is obsessed with animals why she feels I need a dog?"

"Possibly, it isn't always so straightforward. She could have seen you don't have a wedding band and decided you needed a loyal companion. Maybe you just need a friend, or maybe she thinks you need an actual dog. She sees no difference between animals and humans most of the time."

"I see. Even crazy people are trying to get me married." I muttered.

"Don't ignore her just because she is insane. She is rarely wrong if you can parse out the meaning of her words. She said that the baby we are expecting will be a strong bear able to challenge anyone who threatens his family, and I believe he will be."

"Well, my lord, it was a delicious meal, and again, I thank you for your hospitality, but I really must retire. I have to continue my journey."

"I will send twenty men with you to the border of our barony. That is as far as my men may go without the count's permission. I bid you a good night, my lord. Oh, speaking of which. Were you looking for company tonight?"

"Wait, what?!"

"You gave two of my maids a week's worth of pay earlier today. I receive a lot of guests on this road, and they often look to have a servant attend them by such means. I give my servants the right to refuse, and both of them have, but as a baron, I would not refuse you a willing partner."

Was this guy seriously running a whore house? No, that wasn't fair. He gave them the right to refuse, but still, he offered to help find someone. Why couldn't I have been sent somewhere normal? Well, actually, Earth wasn't all that better. It was just I would have to go looking. Maybe not hard, but I would have to look.

Lord Cumfrence was still expecting an answer. "Oh, um, sorry, I was just being polite because they were going to have to clean up my vomit. I didn't realize how much I was giving them."

"Very well. May the Endless One grace your dreams."

For his sake, he better not. I thought.