“Hmm… I didn’t catch that. Can you say that again?”
“I-I mean… what if I’m from another world? What if the real me is not Felicia at all?”
At that, Eris shifts her body and looks directly at me, tilting her head and narrowing her eyes, her expression completely unreadable.
“What do you mean by that?” she asks.
My heart hammers in my chest, the words refuse to come out smoothly, and I’m trembling so badly I can barely breathe. It’s so suffocating.
But… I know I have to continue.
There’s no turning back now.
“A-actually…” I pause, taking a shaky breath. “Have you ever heard of… reincarnation?”
“Huh? Reincarnation?” Eris echoes, looking more perplexed than ever.
“Nn…” I swallow hard, forcing a nod.
Then, mustering every ounce of courage I have, I begin to tell her everything.
———————————-
A long while later…
“Ahhh… so that’s how it is..” Eris murmurs, her brows furrow as she speaks. “You were killed when you tried to save that girl, and then somehow found yourself woke up in this world and in the body of the same girl you tried to save… and earlier, the girl appeared in your nightmare and saved you from it…”
“Y-yeah… that’s right…” I reply, nodding.
And what follows, is a long, suffocating silence.
Ah…
I’ve done it now
And I’m so fucked…
Honestly…
Why did I even do this?
Even though I’ve unburdened myself by spilling the whole story, I still feel terrible, as if a crushing weight refuses to budge from my chest. Part of me wishes I had never uttered a word; this might be the worst and shittiest idea I’ve ever had.
So… what now?
I’m terrified of seeing Eris’s reaction. How will she look at me from this moment on? Will she even believe this outlandish tale? And if she does, how will her attitude toward me change?
She may come to hate me, fear me… or even feel a strong sense of disgust.
After all… I’m not truly Felicia. I’m just a stranger who mysteriously woke up in her body, and that alone is unsettling.
Worse yet, I used to be a man, which makes me question whether I can ever truly call myself a woman.
Eris treated me so kindly because she believed I was female. Now that she knows the truth, it might all change. I don’t know anymore… and I can practically sense the revulsion clouding her face once she realizes the implications:
She unknowingly bathed with a man.
If you stumble upon this narrative on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen from Royal Road. Please report it.
She unknowingly slept beside a man.
One who couldn’t resist casting lustful glances at her.
Gazing upon her body with ugly desires….
It’s creepy… it’s disgusting… and I feel wretched just thinking about it. My chest tightens painfully as I struggle to swallow the lump in my throat.
If Eris ultimately rejects me, I won’t blame her, since it’s my fault hiding this from her… but it will shatter me regardless.
Even though we’ve known each other for only a day, we’ve somehow grown incredibly close. We’ve shared secrets, laughed together, and faced danger side by side. There’s a comforting warmth in her presence that I’ve clung to more desperately than I realized. The idea of losing that connection stings so deeply.
And now, my mind buzzes with awful scenarios: Eris turning her back on me, her eyes cold and distant, ordering me to leave and never return. The mere thought of it is almost too painful to bear.
But if that’s what she feels she must do, I’ll have to respect her choice.
After all, I have no right to feel betrayed.
I’ll just be… heartbroken.
Because more than anything, I don’t want to lose the delicate bond we’ve formed. And the possibility that it might crumble beneath the weight of my confession makes me want to curl up and scream.
…
But then…
“Say again, what is the name of the thing that hit you again?” Eris opens her mouth and breaks the silence, snapping me from my depressing thoughts.
Her question catches me off guard, since it’s is not what I was expecting.
And somehow…
Her face… doesn’t show any disgust… towards me?
If anything, she looks genuinely curious.
“A—a truck! A truck hit me and killed me!” I blurt out as quickly as I can.
However, Eris’s brows knit together even more upon hearing my answer. “A truck? Is that some sort of giant monster?”
“Eh? …. AAAAHHH!!!”
Damn it!
DAMN IT!
I FORGOT!
We are in a fantasy world. There’s no such thing as a truck here, so Eris has no idea what a truck is!
“NO!” I exclaim, shaking my head frantically. “It’s like a really, really big carriage, except there are no horses or birds pulling it, and it runs super fast! It could probably carry a hundred Filoan Birds without any trouble! It can also carry a house!”
Ah… shit…
I can tell my attempt to explain is only making things more confusing, but I’m panicking too much to think straight.
“Huh? No birds or horses?” Eris murmurs. “How does it move, then? Magic?”
“Ah, no, not magic—gas!” I respond in a desperate rush.
“Gas?”
“Yeah! Well… actually, oil! OIL!”
“Oil?”
“Uggghhhh!!!!!”
I yank at my hair in frustration.
This is driving me insane. How am I supposed to describe modern machines and vehicles in a place where such things don’t exist?
But then…
“So… is this special oil a kind of fuel for the truck, like how mages use magic stones to power their devices?”
Ooooh!
I don’t know how, but Eris got it!
“Yes! Exactly! Fuel!” I yell.
“And how heavy was that truck?”
“I—I’m not totally sure…” I’m now thinking hard. But then, I realize I don’t even know how much an average truck weight. “Well… maybe… around a thousand tons?”
“What?” Eris’s eyes widen, reflecting the moonlight.
Eh?
Why is she reacting like this? I wonder uneasily.
Then, suddenly, she raises her hand and touches my head. “A thousand tons? And it hits your head? Are you serious? Did it hurt a lot? Are you still in pain?”
… Ah…. I don’t know why…
The instant her hand touches my hair, and I see the genuine worry in her eyes, tears begin streaming down my cheeks.
“Yes!” I sob, frantically rubbing my cheeks. “A-actually… no. No! I—I died instantly, so I didn’t really feel anything…”
At this, Eris exhales a sigh of relief. “Still, it must have been a terrible experience. I’m sorry,” she murmurs.
Before I can fully process her words, Eris pulls me into a hug. My mind reels, and my heart nearly stops as I wonder if this is a mistake.
What is happening?
Why am I getting a hug now?
Does she truly not hate me?
“Hic… Y-you’re not mad at me?” I manage, my voice trembling as I cling to her warmth. “I… I hid all of this from you…"
“No, silly,” Eris murmurs, stroking my hair tenderly. “Why would I be mad? It must’ve taken so much courage to share all of this, and I’m sorry I made you feel so nervous.”
She tightens her hold, and I practically melt into her embrace.
Relief surges through me. Eris doesn’t despise me after all.
I’m glad…
I’m so glad…
Her gentle acceptance feels like a miracle I never dared hope for.
And then, after a long, comforting silence, she whispers, “Felicia, did you have family in that other world?”
“Nn…“ I nod, shaking, my voice catching in my throat. “I had an older brother and a younger sister. Our parents passed away, so… they were all I had.”
She nods slowly. “What about a wife? Were you married before?”
“No…”
“A girlfriend?”
“No…” I admit quietly.
“I see,” Eris says, pausing for a moment. “So, you miss your brother and sister?”
“Nn…” I whisper, my chest tightening at the thought.